Disclaimer: Not my song, it belongs to Metallica. Not my boys either, they belong to Kripke. Although, if they were mine, things would be different.
Where do I take this pain of mine
I run, but it stays right by my side
I've tried running from my memories of Hell. Sometimes, I do actually get that blissful breath without the memories but they usually stay beside me, stride for stride.
So tear me open, pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me, until it sleeps
Sammy, I don't need simple talking it out this time. Drastic measures might "cure" me. I still hear the screams of my victims. I need someone to hold me until it dies down.
Just like the curse, just like the stray
You feed it once, and now it stays
It's nice to stay in blissful ignorance. However, I thought about Hell once and now it plagues my every thought.
So tear me open, but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me, until I'm clean
There are parts of me that just don't care who gets hurt anymore. I'm still stained with the blood I enjoyed taking. I need you to find a way to wash it off, Sam. I'm tired of the memories, I want them to be gone. I want to start all over again. Before Hell, before Dad died, maybe even before Mom died. Things were simpler and didn't cost so much.
So tell me why you've chosen me
Why did Castiel pick me? I'm hardly a saint. I've killed innocents when I probably could've saved them. I tortured souls and enjoyed it. Name the crime and I've probably done it. Why not choose someone who is more willing to follow the Lord's will? I'm not worthy of being saved.
I'll tear me open, make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps
I want to get rid of Hell. It has been my waking horror for 40 years. I still live in fear. I don't want it to possess me any longer. I need someone to take care of me. Sammy, please hold me until it sleeps.