Callie sat in Joe's bar with Derek, Owen, Bailey and Mark. The five of them had come to the establishment to enjoy the rewards of their hard labors as surgeons.
To Callie's right, Mark Sloan sat on a bar stool laughing enthusiastically with Derek and Owen. To her left, Miranda Bailey snickered at the three men and elbowed Callie on her arm. She smiled and laughed herself at her friends good humor.
Inside, though, she was pained with sorrow and abandonment. As much as she was enjoying the company of her fellow surgeons, she could have much preferred to be with her girlfriend. Sadly, that was not an option, nor would it be one for her anytime soon.
Arizona Robbins was in a small village in Africa. She was helping children. She was preforming her job to the utmost of her ability. She was saving lives and ensuring that others had a higher quality of life.
Though Callie felt a small degree of pride with the other woman, the main thing her heart remained focused on was that Arizona Robbins was not with her. She had chosen to leave Callie. Again.
When the baby issue had become, well, an issue Callie had expected the blonde to change her own views to keep Callie in her life. She had expected the other woman to fight for her. When Arizona had calmly informed her that she was going to pack her things, it had shattered the dark skinned Latina.
They had been over. Finished. No more. And Arizona had not even blinked an eye at their separating. Their parting.
The two women had, eventually, found their way back to one another only for them to part ways once again. This time, for a grant. The entire situation left Callie feeling less and less important to the blonde. Was she so easy to leave behind? Did she mean nothing to Arizona?
Mark pounded the table suddenly and brought her attention back to the present.
"Next round is on me." the older man said, a smile still gracing his face.
"Don't pick anyone up at the bar before dropping our drinks off first." Derek joked with Mark as he made his way to the opposite side of the bar.
Callie laughed and fell silent once again. She watched as Bailey, Owen, and Derek continued their light-hearted conversation. Around her, people were drinking, laughing, flirting, playing pool, and throwing darts. The atmosphere was lively and jovial and she wished, more than anything, that she could be a participant in that feeling.
Instead, her mind drifted back to the day her world turned upside down. The day Arizona Robbins had left for Africa without her.
"I'm glad we got here early. I hate arriving at the airport just as the plane is boarding." Callie said as she and Arizona weaved through the crowded Seattle Airport. Stormy skies danced outside the windows and brought with them a pending storm.
"Yeah, early is good." Arizona replied in a mute voice.
"Okay, what's up with you? You've been all...not you since this morning. Spill it, dimples." Callie said, as she rounded on the smaller woman and stopped in front of her.
Arizona sighed and looked up at her with sad eyes. She'd been dreading this moment since she come to the realization of its necessity. Callie wouldn't understand where she was coming from. She wouldn't see the need behind the blonde's words.
Drawing a breath, a very calming and stalling one at that, Arizona opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it again.
"You're starting to freak me out, here, Arizona. What's wrong?" Callie asked, concern heavy in her tone.
"Let's sit down." the blonde started.
"No, tell me what the problem is."
Arizona stepped away from the taller woman and squared her shoulders. Swallowing past the rising anxiety manifesting in her body, she finally spoke.
"You should stay here."
Callie lowered her eyes and scoffed at her. A look of sly confusion overcame her features.
"What?"
Ignoring the look she was receiving from the raven haired woman, the peds surgeon continued.
"I mean it, Calliope. You should stay here. You're leaving everything behind to follow me to Africa and-"
"I'm following you because that's what you do when you love someone." the other woman interrupted her.
Sighing and bringing a hand to the bridge of her nose, the blonde released a breath and met the dark eyes of her girlfriend once again. Callie was staring at her with utter shock on her face. Her shoulders were slack and her mouth was open, as if she was trying to form words but the moment was intent on stealing them away.
"You don't want me to come with you?"
Arizona was quiet for a moment and then, "I want you to be happy."
"Being with you makes me happy, Arizona." Callie interjected, vehemently. "Why can't you see that?"
"You didn't even want to come, Calliope. You didn't want me to go and you didn't want to pack up your life and go with me."
Readjusting the shoulder strap to her luggage, the Latina narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.
"Mark talked to you?" she asked, simply. She already knew the answer but she wanted the blonde to confirm it for her.
Arizona remained calm and let her eyes travel across the beautiful face of the woman she loved. Her eyes were downcast, sad, mirrored by her heart's conflict.
"He told me you were having difficulty with the idea of being so far away from everything you've known." she said quietly.
Laughing humorously, Callie replied, "I've been away before, Arizona. Remember? Peace Corp."
"That was different and you know it. You've got a life here, Calliope. Friends, family, not to mention your research. You need to stay here." Arizona said again.
Shaking her head and fighting off her emotions, the ortho surgeon locked her jaw in an attempt to quell her tears.
"I can't believe you're doing this. And here? Of all places?" she whispered harshly
She heard the smaller woman stepping closer to her and looked up to see blue eyes meeting her own.
"I'm sorry, Calliope, but this is for the best."
"For whom? This hurts, Arizona. How am supposed to be without you for so long?"
Arizona smiled weakly and brought her fingers to the clasp of the necklace she wore around her neck. Unlocking the the piece, she removed it from her neck and looked at it for several moments.
Callie watched, horrified. The last time Arizona had removed the necklace she'd given her, the two of hem had broken up. She couldn't go through that kind of pain again. Before she could say or do anything, Arizona offered the piece of jewelry to her.
"Here. Keep this for me. If, when I get back, you still want to be with me, then return it to me." she said, her voice catching as she spoke.
Callie looked up and saw tears in the other woman's eyes. Accepting the necklace, she swallowed again and closed her eyes. She undid the clasp of her own necklace and placed it around the blonde's neck.
Sniffing back her, increasingly persistent, emotions she locked her hands behind Arizona's neck and met her eyes.
"Don't take this off. You hear me? I know you don't trust me, but trust in this, okay? I'll be waiting for you so I can return your necklace."
The blonde nodded and leaned her head forward until it met Callie's. Sighing heavyly, she wrapped her hands around the taller woman's waist.
"I don't want you passing up happiness, Calliope. You live your life, okay? Make everyday count. Don't let opportunities pass you by because you were waiting on my return. Just...be happy." she said in a rush of air.
She was going to be away for months. Callie loved her. She didn't doubt that, but Callie had loved a lot of people. Though the other woman had stepped between her and a crazed gunman, the nagging feeling of insecurity had remained long after those events.
Even now, months after the shooting, Arizona still found herself unable to fully trust Callie. So, her decision to tell Callie to remain behind was her way of giving her girlfriend an out. She was letting her go so that she could find happiness in her absence.
If, by happy chance, the dark haired woman waited for her, then that was all the better. Either way, Arizona was prepared to face whatever happened. No matter how badly one of those circumstances would hurt.
"Arizona, I won't be able to be happy without you. I love you. I'll come visit you when I can."
Callie brought her lips down and kissed her fiercely. She wasn't saying goodbye to the blonde. She was giving her a promise. She was going to prove to the woman in her arms that she was in this relationship for the long haul. If Arizona wanted to have her doubts, then let her.
"Torres? You still with us?" Mark shoved her playfully and she shook her head. Laughing to cover her embarrassment, she said, "Yeah, sorry. Guess the drinks are setting in."
"Well, are you going to go for it or what?" Mark asked, leaning over the table to rest his weight on his elbows.
Owen and Derek, across from her, laughed.
"Mark, leave it alone." Derek said. Popping nuts into his mouth, he brought his beer to his lips and took a long swallow.
"Am I gonna do what?" Callie questioned. Her eyes scanned the table.
"That's smart, Torres. Play dumb. Let the men fantasize on their own time. Smart girl." Miranda said in her usual acerbic tone of voice. The other woman's words only further confused Callie, but she laughed anyway.
"Come on, Cal. Just go for it. Unless you think you can't." Mark nudged her again and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Okay, I must have missed something. What are you guys talking about?" she asked.
Owen laughed and played with the rim of his beer bottle while Derek and Bailey exchanged glances. Mark smiled a devilish smile before throwing his left arm around her shoulders.
"Callie, you didn't get that new 'fuck me' hair do for nothing." he said. Turning Callie around so that her line of sight showed the front of the bar, he continued, "And that woman, Cal, is screaming, "fuck me" "
The Latina scanned the bar and noticed a, semi attractive, red headed woman smiling back at her. She looked younger than Callie with a light brown jacket on her shoulders and wide brown eyes. Callie watched as the woman bit her lip playfully and turned back around in her bar stool.
"Yeah, I'd say she likes you Callie." Derek said, his MsDreamy smile out in full force.
"That's a definite." Owen chimed in and the remark caused the dark headed doctor sitting next to him to laugh again.
"Leave the poor girl alone. She did not go out and get a 'F me' hair do. She cut her damn hair because she wanted to. She wanted a change. That does not mean, and I repeat, does not mean that she wants to go around picking up strange flirtatious women in bars." Bailey came to her defense.
"She picked up her last woman in a strange bar. This bar. In the bathroom." Mark countered and, again, Derek and Owen laughed.
"She's sitting right here." Callie said.
Everyone at the table turned their eyes to her and it felt as if the entire bar's attention was focused on her.
"So, you're gonna do it then?" Mark said, wasting little time.
Sighing, she asked, again "Do what?"
"Get her number, Cal."
Time stopped. Mark wanted her to get the number of an unknown woman? She wasn't ready to move on. There was going to be no moving on. Not unless that moving on included Arizona. Did Mark think that she couldn't be faithful?
He was just like Arizona. God, did nobody believe in her feelings for the peds surgeon? Was this really the way her friends, her peers, viewed her? That person, the person she'd been before Arizona, was dead. She hadn't been that Calliope Torres in a long time. Nor did she want to be.
Watching the expectant faces around her, she knew she needed to provide them with an answer to Mark's question. Her immediate response was to tell them to mind their own business. She was in love with Arizona and the idea of asking for or receiving the number of anyone else was appalling to her.
Yet, she knew that, if she told them what she truly wanted to, they'd ask for me details and the night would end in ruin. Everyone was having fun. She didn't want to spoil it or bring anyone down because she was missing her girlfriend.
"Fine, Mark. I'll get her number. If it'll shut you up, I'll gladly get it. You're buying the next round of drinks if I do this." she said getting up from her seat between Mark and Bailey.
"What? I just bought the last round. It's your turn." the older man protested.
"Uh, you're making me get a strange woman's phone number and you pretty much said I had 'fuck me' hair. You're buying the next round."
She punctuated the remark with a slight raise of her eyebrows and finger to Mark's chest. Bailey, Owen and Derek laughed at the display before Mark finally conceded.
"Alright, watch and learn, Sloan." Callie said as she walked away from her friends and headed to the red head at the bar.
"Hi." Callie said. Her eyes took in the other woman. She was pretty enough, though absolutely nothing compared to her Arizona. Her hair was long and fell to her shoulders and her face spoke of too much naivety, but apart from that, she was cute.
"Oh, hi." the woman said, turning to face Callie and sticking out her hand.
Callie hesitantly, shook the younger woman's hand and smiled.
"So, look, here's the deal. My friends over there," she tossed her head towards the table she'd just left, "are nagging me pretty bad tonight."
The red head looked over her shoulder and at the group of people in question. Three men sat at a table with a single woman between their numbers. Several drinks could be seen on the surface of the table along with nuts and wings.
"Oh, why...why would they be giving you a hard time? You're too beautiful to have people give you a hard time."
Callie wanted to laugh at the younger woman. Was that honestly her line? How...lame. How...transparent. How...not like Arizona.
She couldn't fault the woman next to her. She was young and, possibly drunk, and she was only flirting with Callie. It was lame, sorry ass flirting, but it wasn't a crime. Hell, Mark Sloan's flirting was lame, too yet she still loved him.
Laughing and tucking a strand of her behind her ear, Callie glanced back at her table and saw Mark watching her intently.
"Aw, you're sweet." she said before grabbing a napkin on the bar behind her. Digging through the pockets of her pants, she quickly produced a pen and looked back up at the red head.
"Why don't you give me your number?" she said in her best, 'I'm-interested' voice.
The slender woman smiled brightly at her. "Sure"
Back at the table, Miranda shook her head while Owen, Derek, and Mark whooped and hollered like drunken frat boys. She watched as Callie weaved through the throngs of people occupying the bar and made her way back to the table.
"There. Happy now?" Callie asked Mark. She stopped only long enough to place the napkin, holding the young woman's phone number, on the table before him.
Mark smiled, "You've still got it, Cal. So, you gonna call her? She could keep you company tonight since you won't let me have that honor."
"Oh, would you shut up?" Bailey said. Her eyes met Callie's and she noticed the Latina seemed upset.
"What? I'm just trying to help out." Mark said loudly.
"Um, look. I'm tired, guys. This has been fun. I'm just gonna head home."
She tossed a few bills on the table and grabbed her purse. "You guys stay, have a few more rounds on me and I'll see you all at the hospital in the morning."
There were a few calls of protest, but eventually Callie was able to make her exit. She hadn't been lying when she'd informed the group that their outing had been fun. Being with everyone, laughing, drinking, talking...it had helped. It had made her feel less alone.
For a time.
As she headed back to her apartment, she couldn't stop her mind from wandering. It had only been a week since Arizona had left. Instead of her pain easing with time, it only seem to be amplifying. She planned on going to see Arizona within another few weeks, but that idea brought her little comfort.
She would still have to return home without her. She would still be alone at night in their bed. She'd be unable to see her at the hospital or meet her after work at Joe's. The everyday interaction with Arizona that she valued so much, was something she'd be unable to enjoy for a very long time.
A vibration in her pocket caught her attention as she neared her apartment building. Grabbing her cell phone, she realized it was a text from Mark.
-You left your girl's number.-
Callie sighed. She knew Mark was only trying to help, in his own manly way, but sleeping with random people wasn't going to help this time around. What she needed was for Arizona to finish up in Africa and return home to her. Until that happened, nothing Mark or any of her friends could say or do, would make much of a difference.
Stopping just shy of the door to her building, she quickly sent her best friend a text back.
-She's not my girl. I'm waiting for my girl to come back to me. Until then, I'll just have to enjoy my 'fuck me' hair do alone.-
Callie laughed as she sent the text. Shoving the phone back into her pocket and entering the building before her, she quickly made her way to the elevator.
She'd wait for Arizona. She'd prove her love to the blonde and everyone that knew them. Arizona had been trying to protect herself when she informed Callie that she should stay behind. Callie knew that, now.
Well, the blonde would find, when she returned, that Callie had waited for her. She'd find her necklance back around her neck and, then, just maybe, she'd realize that Calliope Torres was faithful to her and only to her.