Title: Not ever
Rating: PG-13, I guess.
Pairing/character(s): Nite Owl II / Rorschach
Disclaimer: Moore can have all the glory. I'm okay with some fun. :)
Summary: So they don't talk about it. Not that night. Not ever.
Warnings: Angsty.
Thanks to: socialriots (socialriots. livejournal. com) for your freaking awesome beta-reading! You all don't have any idea what you're avoiding thanks to her. ;*
Not ever
by Dana Norram
They never talk about it.
That was the way Rorschach works. Daniel just got used it. He knows they can fight crime all night, break some arms and some ribs and spill some blood in a dirty alley and then, they can came back to Archie, and just not talk about it.
They just don't need to. That's what Daniel realizes at some point. He can deal with his own ghosts as he wears his mask and go out smash some faces, and he knows he can forget about it as he comes home by the morning, gets dressed, takes a shower and just leaves the same unanswered questions locked up on his basement.
Why? Since when? How did they get so far and never realize there was no coming back?
Sometimes he asks himself how Rorschach deals with his ghosts and questions. He wonders if he has questions to deal with after all. Rorschach always seems to be so confident. Self-righteous. He always seems to know what he wants to do. And he never wants to talk about any of it.
They don't talk about the first night Rorschach showed up Daniel's home at four o'clock in the morning covered with his own blood after a unsuccessful attempt to stop a robbery. The thief had shot to kill, but only one bullet managed to hit Rorschach's shoulder. Rorschach was shivering a little, but all Daniel can really feel was the warm, sticky blood under his bare hands. And all he can think about is that maybe Rorschach could have escaped unharmed if he had been there, watching after him with Archie.
Daniel doesn't ask questions as he helps Rorschach to take off his coat, and Rorschach doesn't say a single word at Daniel's relief that the bullet didn't make too deep a wound. Rorschach doesn't complain as his friend takes care of it, even if it hurts. Daniel doesn't apologize. For the wound, or leaving him alone − and Rorschach doesn't seem to care about it.
But as Rorschach was recovering, Daniel went down into his basement and began designing his grappling gun.
They don't talk about it, even at the first hints of the Keene Act on its way. A few cops showing up in the middle of their patrol and messing things up, or some people who don't seem too happy to be saved by them anymore.
And Daniel doesn't know what to said when they see the sign "Who Watches the Watchmen?" on a wall for the first time - and so he says nothing. Rorschach was in silence too. No news there; but Daniel notes how he balls his hands into fists as he turns around, leaving him alone with those foreboding words.
Rorschach doesn't show up to work for three days, but by the time he did, Daniel had already paid for the graffiti to be cleaned off.
They never talk about a lot of things. About what Rorschach does when he isn't wearing his mask and fighting the scum off the streets. Or how he found out Daniel's real name without ever being told. What Rorschach eats, besides a couple of sugar cubes, and how Rorschach can pay his rent without having a real job. What he's planning to do of his life when his strengths are drain and he cannot fight crime anymore.
They don't talk about the idea of the world no longer needing them. About how no one will remember their efforts, besides each other. About how they only have themselves. They don't talk − because even that is a lie.
Because they don't have themselves, either.
They don't talk about the day Daniel lost his temper, pinned Rorschach against a wall and yelled at him for being so stubborn. Why can't he be like everybody else and why he, Daniel, kept standing by his side when Rorschach didn't seem to give a shit about him.
"Care." Rorschach answered and Daniel gasps, speechless. He could shake his friend's hand and just forget about it. He could give him a slap on his shoulder and make a bad and forgettable joke; but what Daniel does is roll up Rorschach mask and cover his lips with his own.
They don't talk about that either, even though it still happens every now and again. Even if Daniel liked it and just doesn't know what do.
Daniel doesn't know what to say when Rorschach comes his home with someone else's blood on his coat, the stain forming a monstrous hand, trying to wrap his heart inside just to realize there's no heart left at all. Daniel says nothing and lets Rorschach leave, thinking 'he'll come back'. As he always does.
But Rorschach is not coming back.
So they don't talk about it. Not that night. Not ever.
And Daniel tries to not care and he can almost manage it. He accepts the Keene Act, as he can do nothing about it. He go back to writing his essays and sleeping at night instead of during the day. He can almost forget about the blood, and the alley. The kisses. And he tries to regret nothing.
And it's all okay until tonight, as he sees his old friend leaving again, in the wake of a couple of bitter words.
"You quit."
They never talk about any of it.
But they should.
End
Notes: This fic was originally posted over my Live Journal (dana-norram. livejournal. com/ 30417. html) and is my first Watchmen (and English) fic. There's no need to be harsh. Constructive criticism are very welcome.