My Happy Pills
This is a parody for Ihatejacob1's Jacob torture contest.
Once upon a time Jacob Black was skipping in the reservation known as la push. He was skipping because he was on his way to get his happy pills. He got these happy pills at the free clinic because he needed a prescription. They had some strange name along the lines of arazaralm. Or something strange like that. He entered the grocery store to pick up his prescription and started singing "I know of a place were my arazaralem is! A magical place with arazarlem Oh Joy! The grocery store the grocery! The groooocreeeeey stooooooorrrreee!" Everyone looked at him funny as he went to the counter saying. "Give me the arazalerem." They handed it to him and he danced out singing "Happy Easter to me! Happy Easter to me! Happy Easter, Happy Easter, Happy Easter to me!" Then he sat in the middle of the road and started popping the happy pills. Then he got up and ran around in the middle of the road screaming "I LIKE TO EAT PUPPIES!! THEY TASTE LIKE BELLA!!" Naturally of course Bella was walking by going to some random place that no one in this story knows where. When she heard that she screamed and got in her truck and ran over Jacob while screaming "I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER TRUSTED A LITTLE OL HILLBILLY INDIAN LIKE YALL!!!" Of course this did no damage. So Jacob just got up and screamed at her "Love ya to babe!" Then he started skipping to the reservation again. When he got there he went to the cliffs to go cliff diving. When he got there he stumbled up to the highest ledge. When he got there there were unicorns screaming "ITS A MAGICAL LEAPORIDON!! LETS GO TO CANDY MOUNTAIN!!" And there were rainbows. And a little italian dude screaming "Here we a go-a!!" Jake giggled and agreed to go look for candy mountain. As he jumped in the water a magical banana appeared and started singing that song that has the lyrics "Just put a banana in your ear! You wont be happy if you live your life in fear!" Then there was a big pink splash. Jacob Black was never heard from again. All his friends and family wrote on his headstone with no body underneath it. Here lies Jacob Black. He took to many Happy Pills and this was his fate. Oh well at least he died happy. And if someone looked really closly you can see in sharpie marker the words "Good riddance ya Indian hillbilly." Everyone could only guess Bella wrote this. Oh well.
The End