She was sat in the girls dormitory when it happened.
Lily was with her best friend Alice Prewett, passing Honeydukes chocolate between themselves , savoring the nutty taste melting in their mouths and laughing at the answers to all the silly questions they were asking.
They were having a girls night in, and Alice was determined to make the most of it, determined to make Lily realize that she was in denial.
"So Lily," Alice started, shuffling her bum across the hardwood floor to lean in closer.
"I want you to describe what you like best about each Marauder."
Lily leant back on her hands, exhaling, her eyes hitting the ceiling, searching for some cracks to trace like she always did when she was thinking.
"Well," she said, her eyes trained on the ceiling, "I, er, like Peter because, uh, well because, um, well… Oh I don't know. Peter creeps me out." She admitted.
Alice silently agreed. There wasn't much to say about Peter Pettigrew – if anything, her creeped her out as well.
"Okay," Alice said, trying to get eye contact with her friend but failing miserably.
"How about Remus?"
Lily bit her lip then smiled slowly.
"I like how sensible he is, but he still knows when to have fun. I like how he manages to control Black and Potter… Sometimes." She grinned, "and he's such a good friend to me – studys with me when I need help, always a shoulder to cry on, always a comforting word or two to say."
Alice raised her eyebrows, so far that they got lost in her blonde fringe.
"And Sirius?" she asked.
"Er, well," Lily started, her eyes still trained on the cracks in the ceiling. "I like how he constantly flirts with Marlene, even though he knows it won't go anywhere. I like the little jokes and puns he uses – like the Sirius / serious one, though it is getting a little old… I like how he cheers me up, and how he's always around when you need him. He treats us all like family, and that's nice. He's like my own personal sunshine."
Alice grunted. "But he's still a bit of a prick," she said.
Lily laughed at that, her finger finding her way into her hair to tie it in a messy bun.
Alice shuffled closer still, leaning in anticipation.
"And James?"
Suddenly, Lily's eyes snapped to her own, making intense contact.
"There's nothing I don't like about him," she said quietly. "I mean, sure – the past six years he's been a bit of a twat – "
"A lot of a twat," Alice cut her off. Lily grinned.
"Yeah, a lot of a twat. But if he hadn't been such an idiot we wouldn't be the friends we are today. And I love our friendship, I really do. I love how he can make me smile and always make me laugh. I love how committed he is to making us work. I love how he gives me space and knows when to leave me be, and I love how he always knows where I am when I need to talk to somebody. He's always there for me, always understands, always – "
"Stop right there, Lils."
Lily's eyes had glazed over whilst she was talking and a small smile had been playing on her lips, now replaced by a confused expression and a pout.
"What's wrong?" she asked Alice.
Alice just grinned at her.
"You are so in denial," Alice said, raising her hand to stop the interruption she knew Lily was about to make. "I mean, didn't you notice you started saying love instead of like?"
Lily's brow furrowed.
"That doesn't mean anything," she insisted.
Upon seeing Alice's knowing smile and the mischievous glint in her eyes, she knew she had been set up.
"It doesn't!" she cried, jumping to her feet and pacing the room.
"It doesn't, it doesn't, it can't be," she muttered to herself, over and over.
Alice's innocent blue eyes followed her around the room, waiting patiently for realization to hit.
Suddenly, Lily spun round, startling them both.
"Oh shit," she said, "Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" she exclaimed, shaking her head.
Alice eyed her warily, waiting for her to explode.
"I've got to go," Lily said, starting to the door.
Alice scrambled to her feet, not wanting to lose the chance of finally talking to Lily about this, but she was out of the door faster than she had anticipated.
She could hear Lily pounding down the stairs, even before wrenching the door open she knew Lily would be out of the common room before you could say 'Quidditch'.
Lily flew down the stairs, well aware that she was panicking.
She couldn't believe it! Shit!
It couldn't be, could it? No. No.
Christ on a bike, she was in love with James Potter.
But, no! This was wrong. So wrong… and yet, so right.
She ran across the common room, hearing cries of outrage at her pace but she didn't care, and she didn't have time to apologise.
Reaching the portrait, she tugged on the handle just as it swung open from the outside, and there – stepping in to the common room, was the man himself: James Potter.
She cursed loudly, and James stared at her along with half of the room. Lily Evans never swore.
She scoffed inwardly. What they didn't know was that she swore all the time – just not in the presence of others.
James was staring at her, mouth slightly open and face surprised – and Lily mimicked the expression.
Looking into his brown eyes, she found herself thinking that she could stand there forever. But then she noticed to was gawping at him and swiftly broke eye contact and brushed past him.
"What the hell was that?" she heard James' echo down the corridor, and then the muffled sound of conversation, followed by the pad of feet walking after her.
She broke into a run, realizing that there was two set s of footsteps – heavy and constant, belonging to James, and one soft and flighty, belonging to Alice.
They were running after her.
She cut to her left quickly, taking a small passage leading down to several empty classrooms.
She needed to get away, be by herself – alone, and think.