The Coffee Gods

Once again Danny woke up early and Steve was nowhere to be seen. So Danny went about his usual routine. Grumble about getting up, get up, shower, shave, and brush his teeth and then, his favorite – GET COFFEE.

Danny's coffee addiction was a very important part of his morning. It was hard for him to go a day without a good cup. As he started his coffee making routine, he noticed that the filter needed changing. He searched the cupboards, the pantry, and even the freezer, but there was no coffee or coffee filters in sight. Danny needed his coffee but he couldn't find it. Someone had hidden it from him.

The longer Danny searched, the worse his mood became. When Danny got in a bad mood, he needed to rant. Usually Danny ranted at Steve...who just entered the kitchen. Danny knew he was behind the missing coffee. Steve was the monster who took the coffee.

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Steve had no idea what he was in for when he woke up. Danny was lying on his stomach with his arm flopped over Steve. He looked cute the way he was and didn't want to disturb him. So using military precision, he got out of Danny's hold and went for his usual morning swim.

Steve's swims helps to clear his mind and wakes him up just enough to deal with all the 'Danny Rants' he may have to deal with during the day. As Steve waded out of the ocean, he grabbed his towel and began to dry off so that he wouldn't leave a trail of salt water drops through the house.

When he got to the kitchen, he came face to face with a very unpleasant looking Danny. Steve instantly knew something was wrong. A lesser man would have turned to stone if Danny had looked at him the way he was looking at Steve.

'What did I do now?' Steve wondered.

"Good morning Steven. Did you have a nice swim?"

"Yes, than-" Steve was rudely interrupted mid sentence

"Well that's nice. I'm very happy for you babe," Danny replied in a cold tone.

"You don't sound happy babe. You have a tone and a face." Steve crowded in Danny's personal space. "What's up with you this morning?"

Before Danny could respond, Steve noticed the lack of coffee smell that usually greeted him when he entered the kitchen in the morning. Now Steve regrets asking Danny what was wrong with him.

There wasn't any coffee in the house. Coffee was top of the groceries list but he had to skip it when he got called into the office midway through grocery shopping. By the time his day was over, he was so tired and wanted to crash in bed with Danny. Everything he had done leading up to this early morning rant was the biggest mistake Steve had made all week

"'What's up with me?' he asks. Well I will tell you," Danny moved away and Steve cautiously followed after him. "This right here this is 'what's up'!" Danny held out last week's groceries list waving it for Steve to take.

"Oh um well I got called in and forgot," Steve was losing this battle painfully slow.

"You forgot? Steven, it's the first and most important thing on this entire list!"

Danny's rant continued with how coffee is a basic human need like oxygen. Steve was surprised that Danny could keep up this long. He glanced at the clock and noticed Danny had been 12 minutes about something as simple as coffee.

Steve thought about shutting him up with a kiss but that would have started and even more epic rant which would probably lead to Danny withhold sex for an indeterminate amount of time. Steve needed to stop this rant before it got to the sex withholding stage. Second to coffee, food seemed to help calm Danny.

"Danny we're gonna be late for work if you carry on like this. Look I'm sorry I forgot the coffee and I will get some later on, okay? So how about we get dressed and go get some coffee and I'll buy you some malasadas?"

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That afternoon, when they came home, Danny went to get a beer and noticed a brown grocery bag in the trash.

'Maybe Steve got some coffee,' Danny thought as he looked around. He found his prize sitting on the top shelf

"Thank the Coffee Gods and all that is holy," Danny exclaimed.

Danny walked to the pantry to get some bread and found more coffee. Not just an extra can or a couple extra bags, but there was enough coffee to fill an entire shelf. Danny slowly backed out of the pantry, close the door and went in search of the new Coffee God.

"STEVEN WHY IN THE HELL HAVE WE GOT ENOUGH COFFEE TILL THE NEXT MILLENIUM?" Danny shouted.

Steve cringed as Danny came into the bedroom where he was folding the laundry.

"Well at least we won't run short," Steve said. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted his choice of words.

'Whoops!' Steve put down a pair of cargos he was folding on the bed sat down and waited for the next never ending rant.