"I didn't do anything wrong!" Alan yelled back. "You let me die….." Tin-Tin's voice faded away.
Alan popped up in his bed sweating and panting.
"No, I didn't let her die." Alan rocked himself in his bed.
He then looked to the right side of the bed looking for the warm figure of his girlfriend, which he knew wouldn't be there. And again the regrets rushed back into his heart and the denial, guilt and betrayal of losing her in that mission came back.
"Dammit Tin-Tin why didn't I stop it?" Alan whispered looking down at the soaked sheets.
He wasn't going to get back to bed and knew it, and as he opened the curtains to his balcony he could see the sun raising for the blue horizon. Another day was about to start another long grueling hell of a day.
Stepping down the stairs into the kitchen Alan was met with blank stares and cold tile to the refrigerator. The same old say nothing and everything will be alright routine. Alan knew this all to well after losing his mother nothing was done then and nothing would be said now. For International Rescue there was no time to take a break and sympathize about a lost soul. The cold dead figures just were met by numbers and a determination not to lose anyone the next time. Alan grabbed his toast after finding nothing in the fridge to eat and walked away.
"Alan." Scott called.
Alan just stopped looking back towards his brother. Nothing needed to be said all the feelings and emotion had exhausted Alan he was through will feeling this away. Scott tried to urge the words out of his muscular chest but in the end nothing came, what could he tell his brother, what could he say to make it any better? There was nothing and with a hand on his shoulder Scott let Alan walk away.
"He still thinks it is his fault." Virgil turned to Jeff.
"I know son, I know." Jeff rubbed his neck.
"He can't do that to himself." Scott set his glass down.
"He just needs time." Jeff spoke looking at the rest of his boys.
"I don't think that's going to help." Scott spoke.
Jeff turned sharp on his son, "You'll leave him alone Scott," he growled. "I don't agree that leaving him be is the best course of action dad1" Scott slammed his fist on the table. "He'll be fine." Jeff growled back. "No he won't he'll just end up like you drinking all the time." A quick slap to the face met Scott's reply.
"He will be left alone." Jeff growled again.
Scott glared and stormed out of the kitchen to Thunderbird one's docking bay.
The anger, defeat, heart breaking trauma that the team had been through was tearing everyone apart and Jeff didn't know if he would ever be able to stop it. Kyrano and Ohana had taken their leave after the funeral never to return Jeff knew. The house was empty space dark shadows crept in the rooms that once stood as theirs. Something still had Jeff unsettled about the whole mission the whole thing still sent chills down his spine.
Tin-Tin would have never put herself in dangers way unless someone was after her family. Why didn't she fight the Hood off with her mind powers? Why didn't Alan call for back up when she was in need? All the whys, ifs and buts popped into the blank spaces of Jeff's mind.
Scott kicked and punched everything that now stood in his way. The horror of watching Tin-Tin fall to her death still haunted him, not being able to move was killing him. Not being able to help his little brother keep him safe when all this was happening threw Scott into a downward spiral of guilt and anger. The rest of that rock hard day was spent in silence for Alan he tried to go to her grave but his feet would not let him go up there. He fought back the tears when he finally took his cement block legs up there. Under the trees shade he fell to his knees fighting to keep his emotions in check.
"Tin-Tin I failed you, I should have stopped him." Silence, "I never meant for you to get hurt, why didn't you call me? Why didn't you let me help you?" Alan pounded the headstone. "I SHOULD HAVE DIED!!!!!" Alan screamed.
The tears fell from his clear blue eyes. The tears let everything out let everything crashing to a halt, made Alan think of everything over again. It made the memories of Tin-Tin falling away from his arms, only darkness and the hollow toxic laugh of the Hood filling in the spaces left behind