Ludwig rubbed his eyes and suppressed a headache. The properly scheduled topic for the meeting was how to combat the current financial crisis and that quickly derailed into an argument over which country had the best non-alcoholic beverage.

Sadly, our hero stood in last place with his meticulously composed banking presentation and a crippling weakness for the delightfully fruity taste of 'Fanta'.

"My Coca-Cola made that drink!" Alfred chirped, eager to brag about one of his creations.

"It's hardly yours, Fanta is short for the German word for 'Fantasy' and was created for me because you wouldn't sell me Coca-Cola." Mmm…Germany thought …Orange sounds delicious right now…Real orange of course, not that nasty syrupy garbage America likes to pawn off as the real thing.

"That's because you were a freaking Nazi! I have no cola to give Nazis!"

Ludwig opened his mouth to argue when a chorus of "Spring-time for Hitler" caught his attention, flipping out his cell he cursed his brother for changing his ringtone and read the text message: WHT R U WEARIN?

Ug, this was going to be an annoying day. "Damn it, East…" He sighed and excused himself from the room. The blonde called his dear idiot brother to ask "Why are you texting me during an important meeting? Someone better be on fire."

"Important meeting? From what I could see you were getting laughed at for liking girly drinks. Nice suit by the way, very sexy."

Ludwig paused "What how did you-? You're supposed to be at home! Where are you?" he demanded, glancing around the building for any sign of his sibling.

Gilbert whined into the receiver "But I miss you West! I'm not leaving until you play with me."

"I'll send Ivan up, how does that sound?" The blonde was getting more irritated by the second.

"Either you come up here and screw me or I go down there and get what I want."

"No." Ludwig hung up the phone and shoved it into his jacket pocket. He wasn't trying to be mean to his older brother, it's just that there are times when work came first. The blonde was usually quite flattered to come home after a long day's work to a loving and often scantily clad Prussia, during work however, was another matter. Germany went back to the meeting to see the topic had derailed once again.

Less than a minute after he sat down, there was a knock on the door which Francis promptly answered to see-Oh my God! What is my brother wearing!

Gilbert waved at his brother from across the room, wearing a short skirt, high white stockings, and even higher heels.

Without missing a beat, Francis took his hand and whispered in his most seductive voice "Mon Cherie, it has been such a long time since I have had the pleasure of your company-" The white-haired German yanked his hand away before it could be kissed "Not gonna happen, this ass belongs to the hot German over there. Bye-bye."

Ludwig watched with horrified curiosity as his brother practically skipped over to him, his frilled skirt bouncing as his walked "You have no shame." He said flatly.

"No, I don't. Isn't it great?" Gilbert grinned and his sibling buried his face in his hands from embarrassment.

The elder German merely leaned forward onto his elbows, giving Ludwig a lovely view of his chest. The blonde resisted the urge to reach out and lick the smooth skin and his brother purred "Now will you play with me? I get so lonely by myself and-" He stopped when he felt something hard poking at his behind.

Ivan held out his pipe to lift the skirt higher and frowned in disapproval at the skimpy underwear being a flag other than his own. Deciding he would remedy the problem, the Russian hooked the crook of the facet onto lacey elastic and tugged.

Before he could be exposed, Gilbert ripped the piece of plumbing from his hands and bashed in the Russian's skull.

Ivan, wounded and teary, pipelessly dragged his feet back to his desk after a harsh glare from the elder German.

Ludwig was stunned at the courageous display, his brother slung his trophy across his shoulders and grinned proudly "How did you think I survived as East Germany if I couldn't show him who's the boss every now and again?"

"I always thought you were making that up…"

"Nope. Vital regions were seized and they were not mine."

"You topped Ivan?" The blonde was flabbergasted, Ivan was…well, Ivan. How was that even possible!

"Yup, and in a Stalin Youth uniform no less. No one can resist the five-meters."

"How the hell do I top you then!"

"Because I let you. Now…" Gilbert climbed into his brother's lap. "…Where were we?" The elder German snuggled close to a blushing Ludwig and nipped at his earlobe. "Now that I have you all to myself I can-" Prussia shrieked and nearly jumped out of his skin, shouting "Something bit me!"

The blonde glanced downward to see Japan between his brother's knees with a camera. "Ah…Sumimasen." The polite Asian bowed and excused himself.

"Does he always do that?" Gilbert asked and Germany nodded. "Sometimes I think he's worse than France."

"That explains all the funny comics he writes about us…"

Ludwig cocked his head, curious "He writes about us?"

"He calls them Doujinshi, I like to help him out with ideas sometimes. I tell him stories, show him pictures, and I've even lent him a few home movies."

The blonde was surprised he could be so helpful towards a distant neighbor, maybe he had misjudged his brother "Like the tape of the Christmas party?"

Gilbert felt like Ludwig had no idea what his sibling was talking about and it was probably better off if he didn't "Uh...Sure?"

After the meeting Prussia pouted at his lack of 'fun' with his brother today. Ludwig promised he would take care of that as soon as they got home (Or in the car, if Gilbert had anything to say about it.) and was now waiting for his blonde.

Germany bid his dark-haired friend goodbye and went to Gilbert's side with a comic book in tow.

He held up the thin paperback for the white-haired German to see and pointed at the brightly colored cover "Oh look, this must an Easter story. You look so cute with rabbit ears…" The blonde said with a chuckle as he flipped through the comic.

Prussia was worried and knew it had nothing to do with the Christian holiday "West, you might to hand that to me right now before someone gets hurt."

"Why should I? It's not like there's anything-" Blue eyes went wide at the two-page spread. The two Germans didn't understand much of the Japanese language, but they fully understood what the Dog-eared Ludwig was doing to the Rabbit-eared Gilbert in full detail.

The plot was simple, the wolfish blonde had captured his beautiful prey and was now enjoying it to the fullest extent. "This…This is not a children's story…"

"Um, no." The elder German admitted.

Germany nearly fainted when the centerfold slipped open in all of its uncensored and fully-shaded glory. "EAST! KIKU!"