So much had happened since that fateful day that Fox Mcloud became obsessed with
cheese, that I began to wonder what was next. I couldn't keep up with the antics
of that cheese crazed furball. I personally, did not understand what was so fascinating
about cheese. I don't know. After Valentine's Day, when he gave me blue cheese (I'm
guessing that's because my fur color is blue?) I knew something was up. Something
was different about Fox. Not the shade of fur. Not his tone of voice. Not the
way he held his Plasma Blaster. No. Something beyond that. Something indescribably
indescribable. Something quite peculiar. I think that Fox's brain had turned into a certain kind of cheese. Anyone familiar with head cheese? I think that's what Fox's brain had melted into.
I have to admit, I was skeptical about how someone could be that obsessive and
compulsive regarding a simple food product. Months after the day he ate some cubed
"magic cheese" called MONSTERELLA, I had a dream about a large monster attacking Corneria City. It looked
exactly like Fox. But this was not the Fox Mcloud I knew. This Fox was more like a cheese
crazed psycho and stuff, if you like, know what I mean, and stuff. He was spewing out macaroni
and cheese from his large menacing mouth and flooding the city with it. Then I hopped in
my Cloudrunner and tried to take him down. As soon as I fired a laser at him,
he roared ferrociously, and I woke up from the dream. I told Fox about the dream. He simply
scoffed, and continued going about his business. Business, as in, like, eating at the
cheese house, not saving the Lylat System from Andross, like his old self. He couldn't stay away
from cheese. I wanted him to quit. I didn't want him to become like the ominous monster
in my dream. When I took him to a clinic, and reported the problem to him, the clinic just looked at me like I was the one
who needed help, not Fox. I talked to Miyu and Fay about it. They told me it was just a phase and that
Fox would get over it. Days passed. Months as a matter of fact. I began writing in my diary.
Dear Diary,
Day 134. It's almost Christmas. Lights and trees all over Downtown Corneria City. Waiting for a miracle
on 34th street. Fox is still obsessed with cheese. I'm sitting here in my apartment.
It's raining. I feel depressed. I've got those
blue cheese blues.
Goodbye, Sparkling Cluster.
The next day after that, I tried to talk to Fox about his unique problem. He didn't sound like his old
self. His voice sounded cheesy. This made me feel queasy. The conversation went something like this,
as I recall:
"Hi Fox. Listen, Fox, can I talk to you in private behind the lampost?"
"Krystal, this is a bad time! I'm late for a Feel Good by Eating Ghouda inter-stellar seminar
on Planet X!"
"Fox, we used to be friends, remember?"
"You like Panther Caruso better. So if you like Panther better than me, I think I'll just
choose cheese over you!"
When he told me he would choose cheese over me, I decided that the relationship
was over. Then tragedy struck Corneria City the next day, when I learned that Fox
had finally mutated into a strange beast made of furry cheese. As I watched the local news on my
laptop in my dreary apartment building, I could see a gigantic terrifying monster tearing apart
infrastructures, schools, cars, and office buildings. It was so bad that General Peppy had to send
in the airforce. Well, the airforce being me, Slippy, Miyu, Katt, and Falco. I had to do my duty
to save Corneria. I had to help take down the cheese monster. How it happened I don't know. The news
anchors said that Fox had eaten a certain kind of cheese called MONSTERELLA that had mutagenic properties. After me and
the team took down the monster that used to be Fox, we all sprang out of our arwings,
and looked into his eyes, and wondered what had become of him. We realized we hadn't won. He picked up our ships and crumpled them up and thrusted them aside like pieces of paper or tin cans, or...something, heh. Anyway, Slippy scanned
the monsterella monster and determined that its one weak point was getting hit with swiss cheese. So Slippy and
his father Beltino rushed into their underground laboratory and concocted a pretty cool
invention. A giant mechanical monster that could shoot swiss cheese. I was forced to control it. I
felt bad that I had to hurt Fox. After five minutes of button pushing, Fox
was finally defeated and hurled to the ground from the force of the swiss
cheese pellets. I then left the control room, and proceeded to pick
up a de-mutative pill at the local Cornerian City pharmacy and fed it to Fox. He became
his old self again in the blink of an eye. Well, not quite his old self. Some mold was growing on him.
"Fox, you're a fungusy fox! You have mold growing on you!" I said.
"That mold will stay on me for a while as a reminder not to put cheese ahead of the most
important things in life!" said Fox. Then he looked at me and the team and laughed.
"I destroyed the city. But I have no regrets. I have my friends back!" Fox said. Then we all laughed.
Six months later............
Cornerian Secret and Shadowy Operations scientists built Fox a device that let him change his
DNA to MONSTERELLA MONSTER DNA anytime necessary. He learned to use his MONSTEREllA
MONSTER self to thwart other monsters invading the cities, like the Walker Death-Crab, and Mothra 97. He also
learned that with great power comes great responsibility. I also learned a lesson myself. I learned
that cheese is very powerful. I myself, am now a cheese fan. I still think about the events of the past to this day. I have a renewed
sense of friendship with Fox now, because I saved his life, and I did it with cheese. I like cheese
now. But everyone has to remember to master the cheese, and not let cheese be the master.
