To be blunt, season 4 was a complete train wreck. For me, Elena Gilbert's character was utterly destroyed. She no longer resembles, in any way, the girl I rooted for at the beginning of the series. Growth is one thing…total annihilation is quite another. And since I can't root for her any longer, I probably won't be watching the show from here on out. I still LOVE, LOVE Stefan, but the magic is long gone.
Soooo…I guess this is my way of working through the disappointment and frustration. At this point, I just want a romance between Stefan and Elena.
With that as a goal, I started this AU. Mind you, I've never tried writing one of these before, so I hope you'll bear with me. It has every possibility of being WAY bad. Consider yourself warned. If it stinks, just let me know (gently please), and I won't bother writing/posting any more.
As with all my TVD one shots, this hasn't been betaed. So be prepared for some mistakes here and there. However, IF I continue this and anyone out there would like to look at future chapters for me, drop me a PM. I would appreciate the help.
Stefan Salvatore, Elena Gilbert and the rest of the Mystic Falls gang don't belong to me. That's Warner Brothers' good fortune. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Elena Gilbert meets the vampire Stefan Salvatore a little over a year after she graduates from college. Character names have stayed the same, but circumstances and destinies have changed. I have also taken some MAJOR liberties with the mythology of the show.
(Warning # 2 – I'm a great fan of angst and this has a bunch.)
A Single Soul
by
C7
Chapter One
"Damn it all to Hell." Frustration prompted the ugly words as she kicked the flattened tire of her 2008 Escape. "Great…just great."
The entire day had pretty much sucked rocks. Why had she expected her evening to fair any better?
The wind lashed her face with the cold drizzle that had been falling since early morning as she fished into the pocket of her leather jacket for her cell phone. She could change the tire herself. She'd done it before. But the crappy weather and the dark isolation made her think better of it. She'd let the towing company do the dirty work tonight.
She touched the screen to unlock the phone and a blank void stared back at her.
Of course. Why not? Sure the battery is as dead as the proverbial door nail.
And she'd walked out of the house this morning without her charger.
Perfect.
With a resolute sigh, she stuffed the useless phone back into her pocket before opening the driver-side door and turning on the hazard lights. She pushed the button on the key fob, locked the SUV and closed the door. Looking around, she got her bearings. The driveway up to the Salvatore boarding house should be just around the bend. Hopefully, Mister Salvatore would be home.
With hands shoved into her coat pockets, shoulders hunched and head bowed against the wind and rain, Elena Gilbert started to make her way down the deserted road. No doubt she would look like a drowned rat by the time she completed her short journey, but that was the price paid for not heeding the weather report and leaving the much-needed umbrella behind when she left for work. She just hadn't gotten much right today.
As Elena turned off the main road and started to make her way up the Salvatore driveway, she saw light coming from the impressive mansion sitting on the hill.
Looks like the fates have decided to show me a little mercy. Yay.
It was eight o'clock on a Saturday night, so she considered herself lucky that it appeared as though Zachary Salvatore had not gone out for the evening.
Mystic Falls was a relatively small town, but the lone Salvatore had managed to keep a fairly low profile. She knew that as a founding family member he was on the town council. He was middle-aged, and had lived in the gargantuan place for as long as she could remember. That was about it. So whether or not he had a girl friend that he might be entertaining tonight, she had not the slightest clue.
A brief amusement tugged at the corners of her mouth. Hope I'm not going to be interrupting anything.
When she reached the top of the sloped pavement and got closer to the house, the light streaming from the windows gave her a good view of her destination. The stately manor sprawled before her, regal, impressive, and just a tiny bit intimidating. It had always reminded her of the unyielding strongholds she'd read about in the romances she loved to get lost in when she was a teenager-the forbidding stone shielding the lord of the estate and his dark secrets from the outside world.
All seemed fairly quiet, but she still had hope that someone would be inside and willing to let her borrow their phone to call the towing company.
As she approached the small porch, she noticed a red sports car parked in the curve of the driveway just past the entrance. Another positive sign she might be able to get some help. But…she'd never seen that car in town. And it was definitely the type she would remember. Maybe Mister Salvatore did have a guest. Or maybe he was having a mid-life crisis and hadn't had the chance to show off his new toy yet. Either way, the little number probably cost someone a pretty penny. Which, if that someone was a Salvatore, certainly wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Because one other thing she knew about the Salvatore family…they had money. Lots of it.
A chill splintered through Elena as the cold started to get a firmer grip on her. She ran a hand over the top of her head. Her hair was covered with a thin sheen of water, while the drizzle hitting her face dripped from her nose and chin. If she didn't catch pneumonia, or at the very least a wicked cold, after this misadventure, it would be a miracle.
She picked up the pace and within another minute or so climbed the stairs to the front door. She pulled on the cord to the unconventional door bell and waited.
Just as Elena began to doubt whether there really was someone inside, she heard movement on the other side of the door, and in the next instant, it opened. An alarming shudder rippled up her back and through her suddenly unsteady limbs as she looked up into the astonishing face of the home's occupant.
Oh…wow.
The deep, earthy green of his eyes held her fast, oddly soothing in its stark purity, radiating an inviting serenity that beaconed her to get lost in the warm depths. Another current of awareness darted over her as the sudden fascination captivated her, surprisingly ready to go wherever those striking eyes were willing to take her.
Whoa.
Elena blinked against the outrageous musing as she worked to shake off his spellbinding charm. But the effort proved to be more than a little difficult. Because, God bless her, there was more to his allure than just his gorgeous peepers. And unable to stop herself, she allowed her gaze to wonder as she took in the high cheek bones, straight nose, full mouth and strong chin. He was about six inches taller than she was, with wide shoulders and chest, narrowing nicely to a tight waist, deliciously apparent beneath the snug-fitting fabric of his T-shirt. A powerfully muscled arm hung at his left side while the other flexed with the effort required to hold on to the door handle.
Her attention fluttered back up to his face. But in an effort to avoid being dumbstruck again by his mesmerizing eyes, she selected a point somewhere above his head to focus on. However, in doing so, she noticed his thick, brown hair, and the errant notion of how delightfully soft it would probably be to the touch had her mentally shrugging her shoulders. She might as well give up. She was worse than a young school girl, but she just couldn't seem to help herself.
She didn't know who he was, but he was quite simply…beautiful.
And as the acknowledgment solidified in her mind, she was struck by something else more profound than his physical splendor. The cozy tingle that had started the moment she looked into his mossy eyes continued to vibrate throughout her body, a perplexing kind of primal recognition gently drawing her to him. She'd never set eyes on him before, yet there was an odd sort of tender familiarity about him. It was almost as if she'd found something she hadn't known she'd lost, and was certain she would be agonizingly bereft if she were ever to lose it again.
Okay, Gilbert. What are you nuts? Snap out of it.
Elena gave herself a hard mental shake as she began to appreciate just how silly she was behaving, privately mortified by the absurdity of her reflections.
And adding to her growing mound of shame was the fact that she guessed him to be seventeen or eighteen years old. Ugh. She was standing here drooling over a teenager. The disturbing realization finally helped to pull her from her lusty stupor. At 23, she wasn't too many years his senior, but still.
Jailbait, Elena? Really?
The warmth created by her wayward thoughts began to creep into her cheeks as she tried to guide herself away from the embarrassing edge on which she teetered. She was never this blatantly obnoxious. But he was just so…mmm. This was crazy.
A flat tire. Remember? You have a flat tire. You need to use the phone. Hello?
Forcing a tentative smile to her lips, Elena finally found her voice as she gathered the courage to once again look the Greek God in the eye. "Hi. I'm really sorry to bother you, but I've got a flat and my cell phone is dead. Could you lend me the use of a phone so I can call a towing company to come give me a hand?"
Elena had been so distracted by her reaction to him that she hadn't paid any attention to his reaction to her until that very second. And if she didn't know any better, she would swear there was a shadow of intolerant disbelief marring his lovely features. The hard line of his mouth certainly wasn't very encouraging, his brows knitted together with the tension that appeared to hold him ridged. He seemed genuinely upset to see her there.
The smile dropped from Elena's lips as she backed away. She knew she was being a bit of a pain, but how hard was it to let her use the phone for cryin' out loud? Her appearance at the moment probably wasn't doing her any favors either. She didn't need a mirror to know the rain had done a number on her hair. Not to mention the fact that her uniform pants were wet up to her knees, with a little mud thrown on for good measure. But even so, couldn't the kid show some patience? She needed a little help.
Forget this. Elena's own tolerance level had just about reached its limit, a tinge of anger beginning to work its way into her head. This bad day was only getting worse.
"Ah…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you." She turned to go down the stairs, eager to leave the awkward situation behind.
"No…please. I'm the one who's sorry. You…I… Look…please come in."
The deep, smooth voice stopped Elena in her tracts. Sheesh. Did everything about the guy have to be so damn attractive? Couldn't he squeak or something? Closing her eyes, she sighed. She should just keep goin' and never look back. But the earnest sincerity in his dulcet tone calmed her growing irritation and made her turn back around. Maybe his day had been as bad as hers.
He had stepped out onto the porch as if he'd had every intension of going after her had she tried to leave. To her relief, his expression had softened somewhat to reflect the apologetic bent in his voice and words as he offered her the ghost of a smile. But when she met his eyes, she was bewildered by the shadow of concern darkening their mystical color. For some unfathomable reason her presence seemed to worry him, and the unexpected realization made her hesitate.
"No…I…"
"Please… Come in out of the rain and I'll help you." He took a couple of determined steps forward as the apprehension lurking in his eyes was suddenly replaced by a delicate shame, a pleading tenor echoing through the invitation.
He hovered maybe a foot from her, the subtle tension continuing to hold him as a muscle ticked on the left side of his perfectly formed jaw. His somewhat aggressive posture should have had Elena running in the opposite direction. Or, at the very least, it should have made her nervous. But she stared into his soulful, anxious eyes and there was no fear…no unease, her hesitation slipping away. Amazingly, there was calm…acceptance…a long-missing awareness of feeling, an awakening of sorts.
Since her parents' death almost six years ago, she hadn't been too much more than numb. But after Jenna's death in the boating accident last year, the numbness had hardened around her in an unseen protective shell, guarding her from getting too close, from allowing others to get too close. The only things that kept her moving were her work at the hospital, taking care of Jeremy and helping get him through college. And there were her beloved friends, of course, even as stubbornly obnoxious as they could be at times. Bonnie and Caroline worked tirelessly to get her to 'join the world of the living', but she just couldn't muster the will.
Or could she?
The need to reach out and touch him nearly overwhelmed Elena as she contemplated the uncharacteristically bold sensitivity he mysteriously fostered in her, her hands rolling into tight fists in the pockets of her coat in an attempt to muffle the absurd desire.
What the heck?
If she didn't know any better, she would swear a crack had appeared in her defensive casing, and she was flabbergasted as to why. Physical attraction was one thing, surrender was quite another.
"Please?"
The quiet plea yanked Elena back to herself, the craziness of her own thoughts scaring her much more than the gorgeous stranger standing only inches from her.
"Who are you?" The question popped out before Elena could stop it, frustration with his puzzling effect suddenly getting the better of her. How could this…boy stir a long dormant perception by simply locking eyes with her? She hadn't felt this vulnerable in some time. It was, to put it mildly, disturbing. A subdued trembling began somewhere in the pit of her stomach as she battled his strangely soothing influence and tried to regain her composure, and along with it, her reason; something that seemed to have completely deserted her over the last few minutes.
His brows rose slightly with the curt inquiry before his ghostly smile broadened. "Stefan Salvatore."
"You're a Salvatore?" Elena concentrated on the mild surprise that struck her so as to avoid conceding to the giddy jolt his smile sent rushing down her spine. She had always been under the impression Zachary Salvatore was the only member of the family left, so meeting this one was unexpected.
"Yeah. Zach's my uncle." Stefan cocked his head a little to one side, his smile steady, tantalizing contentment softening his handsome features as he boldly studied her face.
The notion of safe familiarity began to creep back into Elena's mind and her struggle to regain some semblance of reason faltered. Mindlessly, she allowed the confusing sensation a firmer grip while standing momentarily frozen by the gloriously comforted expression on his lovely face. But after a second or two, the uncertainty over his impact on her usurped the reassurance, and once again she began to wonder…how…why.
Blinking, she sought to break the lengthening stillness, realizing her manners had a lot to be desired at the moment. "Ah...I'm Elena, by the way…Elena Gilbert." She returned his smile while the flutter in her stomach grew a tad more pronounced.
"Well, Elena Gilbert, welcome." Raising a hand, he indicated the doorway. "Come on in and we'll see about changing your tire."
The idea of not taking him up on his offer seemed silly all of a sudden, even as her odd reservations about the guy continued to nag. She needed the help, and, for now at least, he seemed more than willing to give her a hand.
Elena bowed her head in agreement and walked up to and through the doorway, coming to a stop a few feet inside the foyer. As Stefan closed the door behind them, she took in the darkened woods and thick brocade fabrics, and realized that even this small area of the mansion looked much like she had imagined it would.
"This way." Stefan led her straight ahead down a relatively short hallway and into a massive great room. More darkened wood, brocade fabrics and rugs adorned the impressive area. But the crowning achievement was the huge fireplace spanning a good portion of the far wall, the blazing fire giving off a cordial heat.
Almost immediately, Elena gravitated toward the inviting warmth, taking a few steps farther into the room. She was soaked, and the chill seemed as though it had seeped into her bones.
"Take off that wet coat and warm up by the fire while I look at your car." He held out a hand. "Keys?"
"Oh, no, I can't let you do that." Elena shook her head and took a step backward. She felt bad enough about disturbing his evening as it was. She wasn't about to send him out into the rain to change her tire. "Just lend me a phone, and I'll be on my way."
"Sorry, but that's not happening." He slowly closed the distance between them, towering over her with a somewhat lazy fortitude shading his features, his smile a touch wry as it played at the corners of his mouth, his mossy eyes tinged with a dim resolve. "You might as well hand 'em over so I can get started."
For a couple of seconds Elena got sidetracked by Stefan's proximity, his extraordinary beauty taking her breath, his inexplicable magnetism sapping her will. That flutter in her stomach morphed into a busy woodpecker as her pulse picked up speed. A quick tongue darted over suddenly dry lips as she fought to maintain her determination. Damn him anyway.
"Well, I'm going with you." Elena straightened her shoulders, lifting her chin slightly as she summoned her faltering perseverance.
"No, you're not." Stefan shook his head, refusing to give any ground. "You're staying here and staying warm."
Elena opened her mouth to protest again, but closed it when she instinctively recognized she was fighting a losing battle. His relaxed posture did little to undermine the purpose radiating from him. He wasn't going to give her a phone to use, and he was going to look at her car. After a few more moments of stubborn resistance, she heaved a low sigh, yielding her mulish stance to a seemingly more willful mule. If he wanted to go outside and get wet and cold…so be it. But she really wished he would let her call a towing company.
"Please, Elena." Stefan's gentle voice filtered through her frustration. "Please…let me do this."
With the hushed appeal, the stubborn aura surrounding him vanished. He gazed down at her with what seemed to be a profound need for her acceptance…for her willingness to grant him this one simple request. The serious intensity of his stare blatantly relayed the gravity of the situation. Her consent was of monumental importance to him, and the realization gave her pause while it brought a tiny spark of joy to her heart. That he felt her approval vital was all at once fundamentally endearing.
But as she continued to look into Stefan's somber eyes, she recognized something more, something deeper, something that nearly knocked Elena off her feet. There was a startling softness there, a tenderness that spoke to her, a potent caring that reached out to cradle her in a protective embrace, an unspoken promise of loyalty…of devotion. Dumbfounded, her gasp was modest, in fact, barely audible as she closed her mouth around it.
Okay…that's it. You're officially out of control. You just met him.
The voice of reason piped up to throw a little perspective on her obviously rampant imagination. But it couldn't completely obscure the fact that on some intangible level, he seemed to connect with her emotionally in a way that defied explanation, and his raw insight troubled her. Once again, the unwelcome exposure had her pulling back, seeking to repair the crack in her defensive shell. Clearly, the sooner she got away from his peculiar influence the better. With that goal at the forefront of her thoughts, she pulled her attention from his, dropping her sights to the v-point on his shirt and relented. "Alright…if you insist." Taking the keys from her coat pocket, she offered them to him.
"I do." Stefan again held out his hand, a wistful smile replacing the ardent quality of his expression, and she dropped the keys into his palm. "This won't take long. You try and dry off some while I'm gone." Turning, he headed for the front door.
"Stefan?" Reluctantly, Elena admitted she liked the name very much, the way it sounded when she said it, the way it felt on her lips.
Stopping, he looked back at her, a question furrowing his brow.
"Thank you." She smiled, her gratitude heartfelt.
"You're welcome." He bowed his head before making his way down the hall.
Stefan was out the door before Elena realized he hadn't bothered putting on any kind of jacket or coat. He'd catch his death out in that miserable slop without any protection. He needed something on beside that thin, short-sleeved T-shirt. Running to the front door, she pulled it open to stop him before he got too far. But as she hopped out on to the porch, he was nowhere to be seen. Glancing to her right, she looked for the little red sports car, thinking he may have driven it down to her SUV. But no, it sat quietly in the driveway.
But…how…? Even if he'd been running, she should have been able to catch him before he made it too far away from the house.
The rain was falling harder now. She squinted against the blurring droplets and the shadowy blackness trying to catch sight of him making his way down the long drive. Nope. He was gone.
Wow…speedy. Too speedy?
A thick shudder rippled through Elena, and she crossed her arms over her chest giving herself a steadying hug.
The cold's starting to numb your brain. He's probably on the high school track team or something.
With a shrug, she walked back into the house. Squelching the fleeting urge to snoop, Elena made her way to the great room and to the delicious warmth of the fire. She shed her wet coat, draping it over the back of one of the nearby chairs, and planted herself directly in front of the comforting blaze. Boy it felt good.
Glancing down, she got a good look at her clothes. She was a mess. The lower legs of her white pants and the entirety of her white shoes were now a watery brown. It might take several washings to get the pants clean enough to wear to work again. A good dose of polish would hopefully salvage the shoes. They were practically brand new and buying another pair was not in the budget for the next month or so. Ah well.
With a short sigh, Elena rubbed her hands together before holding them out closer to the flames.
He should have put on a coat.
The stray reflection slipped through her mind as Stefan invaded her thoughts, her concern for his wellbeing nagging.
He's a big boy. Stop worrying.
Elena continued to wrestle with the awareness Stefan fostered, even though she wanted nothing more than to forget it, bury it. Why fret about it, about him? There really was no need. She was certain they would never cross paths again. Once this little catastrophe was resolved, the high school hunk and the older nurse would part ways for good.
Most definitely.
A satisfied smile lifted the corners of her mouth even as the idea caused a weird sort of ache to pulse to life somewhere deep inside her chest. The possibility of never seeing him again hurt…a lot.
Closing her eyes, Elena caught her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down…hard. Maybe this was some kind of bizarre dream. If so, she needed to wake up pronto. If not…well…she was one sick puppy.
Elena's eyes bolted open when she heard movement at the front door.
He's back? Already?
"You're all set." An apparent satisfaction permeated Stefan's voice when he entered the room, the gratification also evident in his easy smile. Joining Elena by the fireplace, he presented the keys to her. "Car's out front. You're spare is one of those temporary tires, so you'll need to get it replaced soon. I put the flat in the back cargo area. You might be able to get it repaired instead of buying a new one."
"That was quick." She couldn't help commenting as she looked at the offering and then pulled the dangling keys from his fingers. Bobbing her head forward slightly in a pseudo bow, she returned his smile. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. And I am very sorry to have bothered you."
His smile slowly dissolved, his expression sobering, his eyes intent as they captured hers. "You're no bother, Elena. Never." The last word was a low whisper, as if he hadn't intended for her to hear it.
She wanted to look away. She tried to look away, his uncanny allure again playing havoc with her senses. But it was too late. She was lost. The soothing warmth of his green gaze held her in place as he silently reassured her that she would never be a burden, that she would always be welcome. No matter what she needed he would do whatever he had to do to provide it. And without thought, she took a perilous step toward him, drawn to the palpable comfort, enthralled by it.
The drip, drip of water landing on the pristine rug beneath their feet broke the enchanting spell. For the first time since he'd walked into the room, Elena acknowledged Stefan's condition as her attention drifted over the T-shirt now plastered to his outrageously sculpted upper body and the jeans glued to his narrow hips and muscular legs. She swallowed hard against his perfection and allowed her startled concern to maneuver her away from the danger she was foolishly about to get herself into.
"Stefan, you're soaking wet." Elena retreated a few paces as she fought to compose herself, her tone sounding a little dazed to her ears.
How embarrassing. What he must think of you.
"You'd better go change. I can see myself out." She continued, keen to make her escape. It was suddenly critical that she remove herself from his orbit. She snatched her coat off the back of the chair and put it on before offering him a slightly unsteady hand to shake while hoping he didn't notice her ill ease. "Thank you again for your help."
His sights dropped to her hand and remained transfixed for a several seconds as he seemed to be contemplating the prospect of the contact. She feared for one horrifying moment that he was going to reject the friendly gesture, a harsh apprehension hardening his beautiful features. Pursing his lips, Stefan reached out and wrapped his fingers around Elena's hand.
Her body's reaction was as immediate as it was unnerving. His unusually cool grasp sent a tremor surging up her arm, almost as if a muted flash of electricity crackled over her skin to then dart down her backbone, sending tiny pulses of awareness rippling across every muscle. Her chest tightened as she worked for her next breath, complete surprise throwing her off balance nearly as much as his touch.
What is wrong with you? The troublesome question once again invaded her mind as Elena gawked at Stefan's large hand engulfing hers, the simple connection continuing to send a cascade of reaction rushing through her.
She was stupefied for a second or two before becoming aware of Stefan's eyes boring into her, intent, singular, unyielding. She looked up to meet his gaze, and the raw hunger staring down on her knocked her for a loop as she swallowed a gasp, taken aback by the primordial need burning in his eyes.
Her first instinct was to look away, but the hauntingly desperate longing not only called for her surrender, but it begged for her understanding as she witnessed his struggle against the debilitating want, a heart-wrenching sadness entering his eyes when they left hers to caress her face before stopping at her lips. He appeared lost in a deep-rooted torture, craving a long sought after relief.
Elena held her breath, a major fissure appearing in her defensive shield while something deep inside yearned to ease Stefan's anguish, a kindred sympathy willing to give him whatever he needed to find peace.
The tolerant compassion prompted her to inch forward as she sought to alleviate the tension hanging between them. Clearing her throat, she found her voice. "Stefan…I…"
Her words seemed to pull him from his pain-filled trance and he let go of her hand before taking several steps backward, his sights falling to the ground, his tone tinged with the sorrow clouding his eyes. "I'm sorry, Elena. Of course, you're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help."
The urge to reach out to him rushed over her once again, but she successfully beat it back. Her confusion mounted as the seconds passed. She was utterly stunned by the myriad of emotions Stefan encouraged, and she needed time. She needed distance. She needed to think straight. And as absurd as it was, she certainly didn't seem to be able to do that around him.
She was torn…at once wanting to stay and comfort him while needing to get away and try to rationalize the sway he had over her. At the moment, she had no choice but to pursue the latter, if she was to make any sense of what was happening to her. Once home, she was convinced she would see all of this through a more sane light and realize that over a month without a day off had finally taken its toll and her imagination had simply had a field day.
This powerful of a…connection just didn't happen, and certainly not this quickly. And not with a seventeen year old boy.
Oh Lord. The very idea caused a queasy churning in her stomach. You're just tired. It's time to go home.
"Well, I…I'd better be going." Elena offered him a subdued smile.
Stefan nodded his agreement, his expression remaining stern, but tainted by the sadness hovering around him. "I'll show you out."
He led her to the truck and opened the door for her. She hopped in, anxious to try to stay as dry as possible. Once inside she started the SUV and rolled down the window, avoiding eye contact for fear she might not be able to leave him. "Please get inside out of the rain, Stefan. You'll catch cold."
And with that urgent request, she rolled up the window and made her way down the driveway in hopes that with her well on her way he would go back into the house. As she pulled out onto the road, Elena's mind churned with hows and whys, all centered around the exquisite being who had quickened her pulse and tugged at her heart.
He didn't catch colds. He didn't give a damn about the rain. His only concern at the moment, or any moment for that matter, was Elena Gilbert and his perpetual need for her, his overwhelming love for her.
His jaw tightened as he took a step forward, the instinct to be with her again dictating his actions.
No. You can't. It's wrong.
Every cell burned with the agonizing desire to go after her.
You never should have let her in the house.
Stefan scolded himself while the hot need continued to race through his veins, his hands forming tight fists at his sides as he tried to balance himself on the precipice of surrender, battling the entrenched yearning to bring her back, to have her near.
More than that, you never, ever should have touched her.
Stefan closed his eyes and tilted his head back, lifting his face to the sky. The rain pelted his body while he recalled the feel of her skin on his, the softness, the heat. His hand still pulsed from the contact. She had branded him…again.
"Damn it, why did she have to come here?" An unbearable frustration had Stefan speaking to the darkness, his sights descending to the driveway over which Elena had just escaped.
When he'd opened the door to find her standing on the porch, the paralyzing shock had quickly given way to acute fear. Although his entire being sang with an irresistible relief at having her so close, his common sense had dreaded the temptation she presented and his wavering ability to resist.
After he'd grasped her hand, it had taken all the strength he could summon not to pull her into his arms and hold her. Where he'd found the fortitude to release her he couldn't begin to know, because it had been the last thing on earth he wanted to do. All he'd truly desired was to prevent her from leaving him, to keep her close no matter what the consequence.
Stefan slowly shook his head in disgust. On more than one occasion he speculated as to how long he would be able to maintain his sanity as he struggled against the debilitating need. The distance between them had always been a keen source of pain for him, a dull ache throbbing in the background of his daily existence, missing her, longing for her presence. He was certain it would start to take a toll one of these days. He prayed he possessed the determination to resist the wonderfully simple solution to his ongoing torment.
Elena.
Since the day of the rescue and the first time he'd touched her, Elena Gilbert had become a beacon of contentment, calling to him, calming him, mysteriously making him feel worthy again.
It made absolutely no sense, but after that fateful day, she became a comforting magnet, pulling him back to Mystic Falls just to ease the gnawing ache for a short time. Her nearness taking the edge off the sting of separation, temporarily filling in the hole her absence created. It was never enough to completely stop the pain. He feared nothing short of bringing her into his life would do that. And her inclusion was not, could never be, a possibility.
He was a vampire, a killer, evil. Elena was everything he was not…innocent, kind, good. She didn't deserve having his darkness thrust upon her. If he gave in, he would only succeed in adding to the tragedies she'd already experienced in her young life. Keeping his distance was the kindest thing he could do for her. It was by far the most excruciating sacrifice he'd ever made, the base craving for her like nothing he'd suffered before. Even the blood lust couldn't truly compare.
How he gathered the strength to leave her every time, he still didn't know. But it had become harder and harder over the years. Especially after he realized he'd fallen in love with her. He hadn't thought it possible, but from that moment on his craving for her had been magnified into a ravaging hunger, the agony of starvation pounding at him by the hour. His love for her had taken his need for her to a whole new level.
She was the cause of his pain. She was the end to his pain.
Would his love for her give him resolve enough to walk away again? Or would it weaken him to the point where he could no longer endure living without her?
No.
Stefan pivoted on a heel, walked into the house and started up the stairs. Tonight's encounter had been a near disaster. He'd walked right up to the edge of capitulation and came close to hurling himself into the pit, regardless of the cost. He couldn't let it happen again. He had to somehow maintain his control. For Elena's sake, it was imperative he continue fighting.
He would pack tonight, leave tomorrow and do his best not to return. It was the only way.
End Chapter One