"Goddamn it, Cartman!"
It's not exactly out of the ordinary to hear a person cuss out Eric Cartman. It might seem unsettling to know that an eight year old fourth grader garners the attention of attitudes concerning anger and frustration on the norm. Just know that it's justified and fair.
It isn't because he's a fat bastard born from infidelity. It isn't because his mom sleeps around like a rabbit on a Saturday night. Could it be that he has the cholesterol of a fifty year old man that's been eating nothing but bacon and whale fat for thirty years? Not likely.
"Jesus Christ! Here I was, having a conversation revolving how Kyle is a sneaky Jew and how his so called 'people' are gonna die out, and then here's Stan, acting like a big conspirator, protecting his thieving boyfriend. Tch, fag!"
That, that, right there.
It somehow never gets old. The little terror never seems to get sick of the old stick. His mother never seems to catch onto how to deal with him. His friends don't think to consider that they can walk away from the turd.
Learning from past mistakes is almost inconceivable.
Except, Stan Marsh has started to figure it out. Surprisingly enough, Stan is the one that's had enough.
"Shut up fatass! I can't take it anymore! All you ever do is rip on Kyle, make my life hell, and ruin everyone's good time! I can't do this. I won't. I refuse to do this anymore. Goddamn it."
Leaving Cartman's house has never been so liberating. His breaths have never come in easier.
"Stan!" Kyle has been Stan's best friend since they were in diapers. Besides Kenny, and maybe Pete, Kyle is the only person that could ever understand how Stan feels about the cancer that is Eric Cartman.
"Dude, are you okay? I mean, yeah, Cartman sucks, but-"
"Are you kidding me? Cartman does the same thing all the damn time, and no one does anything about it in the long run. I just, I don't get it. Why have we dealt with him all this time?"
Kyle doesn't respond for a minute.
"I Don't really know. I guess it makes sense that we shouldn't be friends with him. But, it's kind of always been like this."
Stan scoffs at such an answer.
"But that isn't an answer! At least not a valid one. When it comes to Cartman, everybody seems to have the same attitude of 'that's how it is' or 'he's just a pain'. Nobody likes him, but no one wants to take on the challenge of properly dealing with him or just distance themselves away. It feels like, lately, everything that comes out of his mouth is the same thing. Racist, sexist, anti-Semitic bullshit."
Stan's shoulders heave with the weight of his own anger and hype.
"You think I don't want him dealt with? Stan, I get it more than anyone else in our class. I'm Jewish, I get the full brunt of most of it."
"Then walk away of all that crap with me. Let's just go to my house and play video games. Without Cartman. I'm even hanging out with Pete, later. You could join in."
"I don't know, Stan."
Stan can see the uncertainty in his best friend's eyes.
"Things would be so much easier. No being ripped on for being Jewish, no getting left out of plans, and no getting nearly killed on a daily basis. Whenever we hang out with Cartman, shit hits the fan."
"God, how is it that I've been with Cartman for so long, that I don't remember what it feels like to be normal? Ugh, the both of us. How'd we get to this point?"
Stan doesn't have an answer for that. Maybe it was the need for children to satisfy their basic desire for contact. Insecurity? Not likely. Loneliness? More probable.
"Come on, Kyle. There's plenty of stuff we can do without Cartman."
It doesn't even take a week for Kenny to catch on and pick a team. Three days later, he skips out on Cartman's plan to get the ginger kids kicked out of town to skype online with Stan and Kyle as they all plan for a trip to Six Flags next summer. He promptly ignores Cartman's attempts to text and call him after.
A month later shows Stan's house spray painted and covered in toilet paper. Kyle and Pete come over to help clean it up. However, it's more like Kyle helps while Pete holds up a trash bag while texting his own click member, Henrietta. Of course, they know exactly who to blame for the whole situation.
Much to the pleasure of Stan, Kyle's first personal meeting with Pete went better than he had hoped.
The very first day that Stan and Kyle walked out on Cartman, they had played Dragon Age II until Stan's friend Pete had come over, as per their original plan.
At first, Kyle was shocked by Stan's friend. The other teens long bangs and dyed hair reminded the natural redhead of the goth kids from middle school and when Wendy had broken up with his best friend.
He hadn't realized that Stan and Pete had kept in touch. Despite being a little sharp around the edges, he found the goth kid to be pretty interesting, if a little weird.
The day came to an end with the three of them watch horror movies and making fun of all the mistakes the movie had made. The characters, the writing, the idea? Put right on blast.
"Ugh, the writers and director of this piece of shit are such conformists. Continuing the cycle of the stereotypical female murder by bad, sexist choices and macho male heroes that either survive or save the day with a plan that stupidly had a 40 percent shot of working. And that knife? Not possible to stab someone in the lung. It's a basic box cutter with safety measurements. Typical cliches happy ending filled with plot conveniences."
Those were the words of Pete; to which Kyle replied, "Uh, yeah."
It was a process of learning for both teens.
All in all, everything kind of changed for the better as opposed to the alternative.