Author's Note: This is a little piece trying to show how Hermione came to discover Professor Snape's humanity. =) Slightly AU. I would love any kind of review. =) I hope you enjoy =)
Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling. There is no copyright infringement intended.
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they'll see in time,
i know,
we'll show them together
you'll be in my heart
no matter what they say
you'll be in my heart
always…
Phil Collins
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"Miss Granger!"
Hermione jerked her head up, knocking her bottle of ink all over the desk in front of her. She blew a bushy chunk of hair out of her face as she sat up, a large red mark on her cheek where she had fallen asleep.
"Miss Granger!"
Her eyes widened in horror as she realized she had fallen asleep during class. Potions class. She moaned to herself; she knew she had stayed up too late to study last night.
"Miss Granger, now that you are awake, would you care to share with the rest of the class why you feel you are such an exception to the rules that you can sleep during my class," Professor Snape said.
Hermione glanced to her side, where HaHhdfasldjfHarry and Ron were staring at her in blank shock, the looks on their faces clearly expressing what she was thinking. 'I fell asleep in class?!'
"We are waiting, Miss Granger," Snape said contemptuously with a sneer.
"I-um, well, I—"
"Spit it out," he spat.
Hermione shut her mouth and flushed a shade of maroon. Snape looked at her and turned away. "See me after class, Miss Granger," he snapped.
Hermione hit her forehead on the desk as the professor continued on with his lesson.
As the bell rang, the class stood up in unison, but silence hung in the air as Snape finished his last sentence. Harry and Ron looked at Hermione, questioning whether or not they should wait up for her. "Go on. He's probably just going to give me a detention that I have so much time to serve," she said irritably, disdain dripping from her voice. "I'll catch up with you two later."
"Alright, Hermione," Ron said, then dropped his voice to a whisper. "DA meeting tonight, remember?"
Hermione nodded and slung her bag over her shoulder and waved to her two best friends as they left the dungeon. She took a deep breath and started to walk towards Snape, whose head was bent over his desk, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. Without looking up, he started, "Miss Granger, you will serve your detention with me, tonight."
"Tonight, sir?"
"Yes, Miss Granger, tonight. Are you deaf in addition to being a know-it-all?"
Hermione gritted her teeth together. She was sick of him always berating her all of the time. He seemed to hate her exceptionally, just as much as he hated Harry. He always went out of his way to embarrass her, and for no reason! She clenched her fists together as she forced a "No, sir." from her lips, which were pressed into one horizontal line.
He stood up and glared at her. "You will be finishing what your beloved friend Potter started last night."
At this moment, a year's worth of stress that had building up in Hermione from OWLs, the Order, Ron, and all the abuse she had taken from Snape over the years exploded.
"What the hell is your problem with Harry? You are so childish, taking out your hate of someone else's family on them! Harry did nothing to you! Do you not understand that his parents are dead? That he probably is hurt a little bit inside every time someone mentions them? How long can one person carry a grudge, sir? Clearly, if they are immature enough, they can carry one for a good long time!
And while we're at it, what the hell is your problem with me? I am a perfect student, with the exception of today's incident. I show respect to you even when you are an unimaginable bastard to me! You seem to hate me just as much as you hate Harry, except I don't have parents you can hate!
I know what your problem is! You're just bitter. I don't know what you're bitter about, but there's no way in hell that you can end up such a horrible, heartless, cynical arse without some trace of hate or regret in you. Well, I will tell you one thing, Professor, stop taking out your hatred of people on the rest of us!"
Hermione stopped yelling and began breathing heavily, as if to catch her breath.
She had never seen Snape so livid, or so taken-aback.
"Let's get one thing straight, Miss Granger. If I ever hear you disrespect me in such a manner again, I will personally ensure your immediate expulsion from this school. Detention, every Friday for three months."
He then looked her in the eyes. She had taken a stance that was so familiar to him. Her weight was balanced back on her right leg, her left foot turned out a bit. Her chest was heaving up and down and there was a deep flush in her cheeks. Her eyes were narrowed and her arms were crossed. She was the precise image of Lily Evans, the day he called her a Mudblood. He knew it well. He should, because he replayed it every night in his mind, wishing he could take it all back.
Dumbledore knew his hatred of Potter, and the pain that came with looking at his son, but he did not know of the pain Severus felt upon looking at and talking with Hermione Granger. Harry Potter was the living message constantly reminding Severus Snape of where he went wrong. Harry Potter should have been the spitting image of Severus with Lily's eyes.
But Hermione Granger was another story entirely. The way she carried herself, her dedication, her kindness, her passion, all screamed Lily Evans. However it was when her hand whips through the air, and he is forced to look at her intelligence, her eagerness, and her fervor that he felt the proverbial stab of pain that thrusts him to the memories of the one person who ever loved him.
Dumbledore had always said that Harry was more like his mother, but Severus refused to see this. He would much rather see Lily in someone who didn't look exactly like the man who stole her.
Hermione had seen his eyes soften momentarily, and she contemplated her words, not regretting them in the least bit, but wondering how many of her presumptions were true. But he quickly saw her react to his moment of weakness and grew exceptionally irate.
How dare she?! Was he going to let some worthless student who has the audacity to tell him that he was heartless? She did not know one thing he had done. She had no business telling him how much of an arse he was!
"You have no idea what you're talking about, you stupid, ignorant little child! Go. Get out! OUT!"
But Hermione was too deeply involved at this point. Way too curious for her own good. "No, sir, I don't know what I'm talking about. But clearly my words had some truth to them!"
"IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE THIS INSTANT I WILL MAKE YOU—"
"Rue the day I was born? It's not as if you've made any of mine or Harry's days here easy! I doubt you could make your class harder for either of us, but you sure could for your precious little Slytherins! I'll bet you just sit around and think about how much harder you're going to make it for the Mudbloods!"
Snape grew quiet. "Don't say that word."
Hermione tensed. "What? Mudblood? You had no problem with Malfoy calling me one the other day in the hall! You had no problem calling Harry's mother that! Why so conserve—"
"Don't you dare talk of things you have no clue about!"
"Do you hate his parents that much? What, James Potter was more attractive than you and Lily Potter was a Mudblood whore? Is that why you hate him so unjustly?!"
"DON'T YOU DARE GO THERE! LILY WAS NEVER ANYTHING LESS THAN PERFECT IN MY EYES! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! IF I EVER HEAR YOU—" Severus stopped short, tears in his eyes. "You have no idea how much I lov—" He stopped again and put his head in his hands.
Hermione stood there, astounded beyond belief. It all made sense. Why he hated Harry so much, why he hated James so much. In all the ways he had insulted James, he had never once ventured a slight at Lily. How Snape always went out of his way to protect Harry, even though he only displayed pure hatred for the child.
She opened and closed her mouth many times in shocked silence. She shifted her weight on her left leg, her hand covering her mouth, and waited for a moment before Professor Snape looked her in the eye once again. His pupils were unnaturally large and his mouth was in a tight line across his face.
Hermione spoke first. "Professor, I'm so sorry, I had no idea, I—"
"I don't want your pity, Miss Granger. I don't want pity from her, and I certainly don't want it from you, someone who inevitably reminds me of her constantly."
"But—" Hermione started. She thought to herself, Well, now I know why he hates me.
"But I will not have you believing that I am a heartless bastard, either," he said, staring into her eyes. "Just so someone other than Dumbledore knows that I am human."
Hermione did not feel the least bit awkward when she looked back and said, "I never thought you weren't."
After a few minutes of silence, the teacher said to her, "You may leave, Miss Granger. And you are relieved of your detention and those I assigned earlier on."
Hermione nodded and turned to leave. Just as she reached for the doorknob, Professor Snape called for her once again. She turned around. "Thank you for your silence, Miss Granger."
"Of course, sir."
Hermione Granger understood Severus Snape, now. She had respect for him, and she almost admired him for his passion. She carried the knowledge of knowing before anyone else that Severus Snape had loved and lost Lily Potter….Lily Evans, to her grave. She owed that much to him. The world owed that much to him.