A/N: roo17 here! So this is gonna be one of those 'update-whenever-I-can-to-pass-the-time' sort of things, seeing as it's just a bunch of one-shots. Most of these are going to revolve around Ace, Marco, Luffy, Thatch, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Law, Whitebeard, and Shuraiya. (Seriously, if you don't know who Shuraiya is by now… You really need to go watch the One Piece movies. Like, now.) Possibly Kidd, too. Unless you guys request a one-shot on somebody else. ^_^ Pairings will vary, as will genres, in each chapter. So without further ado, here's a thingamajig of one-shots.

One-Shots of Trouble

Chapter One: Silly Fear

Summary: Ace felt embarrassed. Why? Because he had a ridiculous fear… of cockroaches.

Warning: Crack, mild swearing, AU, a disgusting A/N, and a hell of a lot of ooc.

Disclaimer: *Sigh* Do I have to say it? … Hello? … Anyone there? … Helloooo? … Okay then. I guess I own– *THUNDEROUS BOOM* …nothing. I own nothing from this story. ._.,

Ace wasn't a sissy. Wasn't a coward, wasn't a chicken. He was quite the opposite, actually. He never ran from a fight, no matter how bad the situation looked. Fifteen guys, all six-foot-seven and two-hundred pounds, with muscles out the wazoo? Bring it on. A psychotic woman on a stabbing spree and he's her next target? No problem. Grandpa Garp's famous Fist of Love? …Okay, so maybe he a was little nervous of Garp's Fist of Love. Hell, who wouldn't be? Anyway, back to the subject. Ace wasn't a coward.

However…

He may or may not have had a small, tiny, liiiiittle fear… of roaches.

He didn't know why, but they completely freaked him out.

He didn't know if had to do with the fact that when he was little kid– four-ish– a doctor found a dead roach in his ear, or the fact that when Garp was teaching– more like forcing– Survival Lessons to him he was forced to eat the roaches alive.

He could still remember what it felt like when one tried to crawl down his throat before he could chew it.

Yeah, he was pretty sure it was the latter reason's fault he was afraid of cockroaches.

Ace loved visiting his brother. The little hyper ball of energy always entertained him.

However…

Visiting his brother at night was a different story.

Luffy was pretty good at maintaining his house. He didn't throw his clothes all over the place, and when he did he always made sure to pick them up and put them away whenever company came over. The kitchen was completely spot-free, mostly due to the fact that his friend Sanji came over to cook for him so he wouldn't blow up the house trying to make a bowl of cereal. (It nearly happened on one occasion when Sanji was out of town, which, to this day, still astounds Ace.) But there was one small thing Luffy never did. He never killed the bugs that ran around his house. There weren't many bugs. In fact, there were hardly any. A few ants, maybe an earwig here and there, and several Hercules beetles definitely lived in the living room.

But at night, when all the lights were no longer on, they came out.

The roaches.

Luffy had made sure to keep the pest problem under control– he wasn't about to let his house be overrun with the small, awesome creatures, no matter how much he loved them– but no matter what he did, the roaches always came back. And that is why Ace hated coming over to his brother's at night.

Ace laughed at one of Luffy's silly and stupidly lame jokes he had come up with in the past four hours, Marco, Law, and Thatch beside him also laughing. A small feeling began to nag at him and as he wiped the tear away from his eye, he realized he had to go to the bathroom. "I'll be right back," he excused himself before heading to the private room. He opened the door and let out a relieved breath when he saw the light was on.

Luffy had kept it on for him.

Ace gave a small smile. He had told Luffy of his silly fear of the creatures several months ago and, after a few minutes teasing, Luffy promised not to tell anyone of his brother's fear. Ace had been grateful for that and to show his appreciation, he took Lu out to an all-you-can-eat meat buffet. Ever since then, he hadn't been teased once.

Closing the door behind him, he made his way over to the toilet where he lifted up the seat and opened the zipper to his shorts. He then continued to do his business, staring at the… what exactly was he staring at? Apparently Luffy had taken some paint and tried to draw… something on the wall above the toilet. What it was though, hell, Ace couldn't even begin to make it out. It was a mix of green, red, yellow, blue, and brown, and was something akin to a puddle of goo and a very sad looking worm.

He'd have to ask his brother about it when he returned to the living room. Until then, he–

Ace's attention snapped to his leg where he felt something crawling on his skin. His heart began to race, but he soon let another relieved sigh pass his lips when he saw it was only a moth. Flushing the toilet, putting down the seat, and heading to the sink, his mind wandered to the small creatures he had come to fear. He just couldn't bring himself to get over them. He had tried oh so many times, too. He had confronted them several occasions, hearing the phrase 'Confront your fears and they shall disappear', though each occasion had ended horribly.

The first time he had Luffy set a cockroach down on the kitchen table and stared it down. Everything was going sort of alright until the bug took flight. Its flightpath? Ace's face. That little airborne insect was brought down with a slipper after a minute of chasing Ace around the kitchen.

The second time he tried picking one up and letting it crawl on him. He lasted about two seconds before he had a slight panic attack and flicked the bug away before taking off into a run.

The third, and final, time had been by complete accident. He had accidentally locked himself inside a dark room and when he turned the light on, he was downright horrified to see the entire floor crawling with cockroaches. If had to guess, he would've said there was around two-hundred in that room with him. He hated to admit it, but he had let loose a few screams, had a full blown panic attack, and brought down the door that had locked him in. It was, to say the least, one of the scariest moments in his life.

Just the thought of the memory made him shiver.

It's not like he hated the creatures, no. He just found them weird, and gross, and– holy fuck, there was one crawling on his arm!

He felt his heart burst into a steam hammer, and his breath began to quicken at the sight of the insect on his arm. And it wasn't a small one.

Oh, no, it was fuckin' huge.

He flicked it away and watched with fear-filled eyes as the insect crawled away into the bathtub. "Okay, okay, calm down," he quietly ordered, closing his eyes and releasing a deep breath. His heart was still pounding in his chest from the sudden surprise…

Wait a second…

Was… Was that something crawling…

…on his back?

Ace tore out of the bathroom so fast, he nearly brought the door off its hinges. He almost tackled Marco when he slapped the blond on the shoulder and pointed to his back. "Get it off me!" Marco took a moment to blink at Ace's trembling form. Was Ace… scared? "I said get it off me!"

"Get what off you?" Ace turned around and Marco came face-to-face– well, face-to-back– with a cockroach. "A roach?"

"Fuckin' get it off now!" Ace screamed, and, taken back by the freckled male's sudden outburst, Marco quickly reached out and swatted the bug off the male's back without anymore questions. Ace quivered as he ran across the room, putting as much space between him and the bug that had occupied his back moments ago. With his breathing still uneven, he put his head between his knees; trying to calm himself down after that heart-racing experience. Luffy was over at his side in seconds, patting his back and telling him everything would be okay.

Thatch, Marco, and Law all stared at the bug and their freckled friend, trying to grasp exactly what they just witnessed. Law seemed to get it first because he gave a smirk, and Thatch was right beside him with a raised eyebrow. Marco just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that was set before him.

"You're afraid of roaches?"

Ace looked up and sent the darkest glare he could at the surgeon and prankster who were about to open their mouths to tease and laugh at him. "If either of you so much as utter a single word about what you just saw, I will slaughter you." Thatch seemed completely affected by the threat– probably because he knew Ace would actually made that threat a reality– and gave a fake cough, rubbing the back of his neck and looking towards the kitchen as he tried his hardest to keep in his laughter.

"I-I didn't see anything," said the brunette. Law, on the other hand, couldn't give two shits about Ace's threat– though he too knew Ace would go through with it if he ever mentioned this event again– and openly smirked.

"Mr. Portgas D Ace himself, the big bad-ass himself… afraid of roaches. That is just so hila–" Law was never given a chance to finish his sentence.

Because the moment he opened his mouth, a moth– the same moth that had landed on Ace's leg in the bathroom– flew into Law's mouth.

The surgeon completely flipped, spitting the moth out before reaching for his throat as if he was choking.

"OH FUCK, OH GOD, IT WENT IN MY MOUTH! WATER! I NEED WATER!" Law tore out of the room and the sound of the kitchen turning on reached the other males' ears.

And when Law re-entered the living room five minutes later after gurgling two gallons of water and brushing his teeth six times, he was met with the merciless eyes of Portgas D Ace.

"Mr. Trafalgar Law himself, the big bad-ass surgeon himself… afraid of moths." Law gave a heated glare at the freckled male. "That is just so hilarious. Don't you agree, Law?"

"Shut up, Ace," Law snapped.

"You guys are such pansies," Thatch commented, inspecting his nails. The two traumatized males looked over to Thatch with dark glares. "What? You guys are! I mean, moths? Really? So sad."

"Uh, Thatch?" Marco, unlike his brunette friend, was fully aware that the two males were closing in, their eyes holding murderous intent.

"And roaches? Those things are harmless! They just crawl and eat!"

"Thatch." But the blond was completely ignored.

"Unlike you two, I'm not afraid of anything."

"Really?" Law asked, giving a dark, humorless chuckle. "Because there's a cane spider in your hair."

A horrified expression crossed the brunette's face. "What?"

"Ah-ha," Ace darkly grinned. "Ol' Thatch boy is afraid of spiders, eh?"

"N-Now wait, guys. I-I-I was just joking about you two being pansies!"

"Uh-huh, sure you were."

And as Thatch ran for his life, the two dark-haired males right on his tail, Marco silently shook his head.

"They really are idiots, aren't they."

"You said it," Luffy answered.

"Three tough guys afraid of insects and spiders…"

"Are you afraid of anything, Marco?"

"Hiccups," the blond honestly replied, earning a raised brow from Luffy. "I once had the hiccups so bad I fractured two ribs and could barely breathe," the blond explained.

"Ohhh, I see. I'm afraid of fairies." Marco gave him a 'are-you-fucking-serious' look. "What? They're real! One threw me into a river when I was younger!"

"A fairy threw you into the river?"

"Yep."

"Uh-huh… I think I'm gonna go check up on Thatch now…" The blond quickly left the room.

Luffy stood in silence for a moment before he fell to his knees and looked to the ceiling with watery eyes

"Why doesn't anyone believe me?!"

"I believe you," a tiny voice replied. Luffy looked to his side with wide eyes and spotted the two-inch tall creature that sat on the bookshelf. The young male continued to stare for several seconds before he let loose a scream and took off running; leaving the small mischievous creature to laugh wickedly at just how funny humans could be.

A/N: The ending sucked. But I didn't know how to end it exactly. Anyway, I can totally see Thatch being afraid of spiders, especially cane spiders. (FYI; those who don't know what a cane spider is, it's almost like a wolf spider. Except bigger.) And Law could be afraid of moths. I don't know why, but he kind of looks it. Marco… I didn't think Marco would be afraid of any animal, so I made him afraid of something that can come at any given moment. I was gonna make him afraid of sneezes, but, well… I chose hiccups instead. :P

By the way, you can't fracture a rib from hiccups. I changed the fact because, guess what... ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE OP UNIVERSE. XP

But, yes, I gave Ace my fear of cockroaches. DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME. Those things freak me out. We have cats, but they can be some of the laziest cats sometimes, because when I walk into my bathroom at night and turn on the light, I'll see like four to six HUGE roaches (we live in the country) and a lot of the time my cats WON'T DO A DAMN THING. They'll look at the roaches and be like, 'Oh! Oh, look! A roach! …Eh, I'm too comfy at the moment. I'll get him later.' It's just… horrible. I can't stand roaches. If one is even within two feet of me, I get the shivers.

By the way, the whole 'cockroach in the ear' thing was from a dream I had when I was younger. And the moth in the mouth thing was from one of my roach experiences. I left a drink in my mom's car and at the time I hadn't known there was a roach running around inside the car. So an hour later I suddenly realized I left my drink, went and got it, and then I took a sip. And I found out the disgustingly hard way that the roach had crawled inside my drink.

Oh my God, I don't I ever freaked out as much as I did then.

I did exactly what Law did; I ran into the bathroom and rinsed my mouth out with soap for six minutes before brushing my teeth three times. Anyway, now that I've probably disgusted you out (XD), look forward to more idiotic one-shots! If you want to. I don't blame you if you don't.

On a side note: I'm uploading this because I'm gonna be busy the next few days. (Just got me One Piece Pirate Warriors for the ps3 ;P) I'll try to update Blind Eyes, Strong Heart soon.

Thanks for reading and have a nice morning/day/night!

Your rokudenashi ice elemental,
~roo the psycho