Prologue

John Lennon once said, "When I was five years old, my mom told me that happiness was key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life."

I don't think John Lennon and I would have gotten along very well.

Our brains were clearly functioning on completely different wavelengths. I wasn't afraid to admit that I did not understand his principles.

To me, happiness didn't even fully exist. I mean… how could it? When it wasn't our socio-economic situation, it was our inner struggle to find out who we really were and how we belonged in this world. And if it wasn't that either, then it was probably because we were too greedy and too preoccupied by little useless things to even bother about the bigger picture.

And what was the bigger picture anyway?

Even I did not know.

And trust me, I had an IQ of a hundred eighty-seven. In our world, that was considered fairly impressive.

But wait— let's go back to the subject.

We did not want to be happy.

At least, those were my thoughts.

That was the conclusion I had come up with, in any case. We were incapable of finding happiness because there was something in us, something deep and troubling, that surfaced whenever we came anywhere close to reaching true, unconditional happiness. Humans were made for darkness.

It didn't matter if we pushed that darkness away; if we pretended to be happy. Because deep inside, we knew it was still there. We'd pretend it wasn't there, but it was. Oh yes… it was.

Each one of us had a different way of dealing with that darkness.

Some ignored it and continued with their lives without ever understanding why they'd feel so empty, so incomplete.

Some would act happy and lose themselves in their own lie for the rest of their living days.

Some were overcome by that darkness and succumbed to it. They became shadowy creatures.

And then there were those who studied that darkness, who fought it, in order to comprehend it… so they could make the world a better place... a happier one.

I was one of those people.

And then—

—You had the people who puzzled me.

Those even I could not comprehend.

And I envied them with my whole heart.

I envied them because they were the ones that had uncovered the truth. They understood the meaning of life – if there even was one to begin with. (But that was another subject for another day.) They were the elite of the world. And there was just no explanation for it.

They just knew.

They were just… happy.

Author's Note:

Thank you guys very much for taking the chance to read this. You guys are awesome. A little review would always be welcome. :)