A/N: Here it is at last. The first chapter of the sequel to One Depp Too Far For Mr Wonka - located in the CatCF section. Since none of the characters are the official 'main' in this one, I decided to categorize the story in the world it is set, so apologies to you Labyrinth fans who may expect aspects from the movie. You may get a surprise later on, but there are no official Labyrinth characters. The world, the ideas and some of the 'creatures' is all I will hint at.

To those of you who have followed patiently through ODTF, thanks again and sorry this one's short but it's a bit of a teaser.

A certain character you may recognise in this chapter is from his FIRST movie still, not the recent film...but by reading it you'll probably know that.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character you recognise. I don't own the Labyrinth. Any phrasing you recognise is intentional and belongs to those who wrote the movie scripts. I do own this fanfiction, however, so mitts off!

One Depp Too Many: In the Underground

There are some stories that should never be read aloud. Not least those that upset the soul, those with too many morals for a reader to decide for themselves what is right, or simply those that are so damn long the storyteller loses their voice halfway in.

There is one story, with its various cousins, that should not be read aloud because of magic. The story, the Original, is the only one to be found in print. More extraordinary is that it is the only book found in every dimension, a gateway to and from all worlds. In the Original it is the same tale – of a beautiful young woman, probably a princess, fighting her way through an enchanted kingdom to face the corrupt ruler and rescue a dear child.

Whosoever speaks this tale outside of mind is doomed to play the role of the heroine should they be foolish enough to read it to another. Of course, the tale itself…the words written down are not enough. The phrase a reader must vocalise to be affected by the curse can only be discovered by accident or by pure desire for their listener to be removed from the world. A phrase that begins with 'I wish'.

Naturally, the beautiful princess does not begin with purity of heart. The cursed reader is most often selfish and full of pride, detached or friendless. The Original provides morality, a guard against temptation. The corrupt ruler, one might say, does the world a good service. If the fated adventurer succeeds, they learn a lesson in courage and friendship. If they fail, no more will they inflict their pains upon the world.

However, the branches of this story, these 'cousins', stretch across the universe. No one knows how they appear, since they are not written, but they are dangerous. They do not have the boundaries of the Original; the heroes change; the kingdoms alter; even the tasks may differ; and the opponents? The opponents…they don't follow the rules. What would they care for morality; who succeeds and who fails; what is fair and what isn't?

Sometimes you don't know you're playing the game until it's too late.

The sun beat heavily onto a courtyard by the sea where a macabre event was taking place. Snare drums tapped and rolled at the back of the crowd, every face of which stared at the official upon the scaffold bellowing out from his scroll.

The accused stood quietly nearby, wearing a meek smile that seemed half through fear and half utter denial. He was a colourful scamp, not least from his clothing – a hotchpotch creation dipped in mud and decorated with trinkets. He gazed wistfully across an audience of vultures, his dirty hands bound tightly in front of him.

The official boomed out the name of this character and the latter frowned. Those in the front row caught the indignant mutter of "that's Captain…Captain…" The official either did not hear or ignored him and continued:

"You have been charged, tried and convicted for your wilful commission of crimes against the Crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature. The most egregious…"

At this point the crowd whispered amongst themselves. They'd heard all this before. The official listed various crimes, but upon reaching several deviant impersonation counts, the attention returned. Even the convict allowed himself a giggle at his mischiefs.

"…sailing under false colours, arson, kidnapping…"

On the man droned, barely aware of what he was reading.

"…looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, I wish the goblins would come and take him away - eh?"

Silence. Everyone looked to the official.

The accused raised an eyebrow.

Flushing, the official coughed and checked his scroll for further tampering. He indicated to the guards beside the accused. They gave him a puzzled glance before they moved the condemned man into position and slipped the noose around his throat.

The official resumed, angrily.

"For depravity, depredation and general lawlessness. For these crimes you are sentenced on this day to behung by the neck until dead."

The purple-faced official screwed up his scroll and turned to the accused.

There was a disturbance in the crowd as someone pushed forwards. Some sort of bird circled the sky. In this story it should have been a parrot.

"Hang him," cried the official. "Hang him right now!"

The lever was pulled. The floor dropped from beneath the accused's feet. The crowd gasped.

An empty noose swung back and forth. One minute the pirate had been there, the next – gone. At the head of the crowd, a young blacksmith by the name of Turner sheathed his sword and stared, stunned, at the absence of whom he meant to rescue.

This was the day they would never remember as the day they twice almost hung Captain Jack Sparrow…