AN: Obviously I don't own Dan and Phil and I definitely don't think this is real. I was just rewatching old Phan vids and got inspired to write this. I'll probably leave this as a oneshot but I'm labeling it as in in progress because I try never to underestimate my capacity to write crap when I'm bored as hell. Ugh, this made me really really sad to write. Anyway, enjoy!

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Zachary demanded when Winston Fields opened the door to let him in. The younger man raised his eyebrows, startled as usual by his colleague's abrasive American accent and the use of profanity. Though they lived near each other to make filming easier, he barely saw Zachary when he wasn't in character as Phil Lester, the British youtuber who Dan Howell, Winston's character, lived with. Sometimes he forgot Phil wasn't a real person. The writers had gone so in depth with all of his quirks and random traits that it seemed impossible to make up. And, of course, Zachary Striker was no B-list actor.

He stood slightly above Winston now in his expensive, thick-soled loafers, paired with an immaculate black suit and sunglasses. Phil's so-called 'emo fringe' was styled with gel. It seemed Zachary went out of his way to differentiate himself from the character he played, while Winston often found it strangely exciting to let his and Dan's lives bleed together. They'd both developed their interest in acting the same way, after being cast as Santa in a school play. Dan was the version of him who'd quit drama to pursue law and then a vlogging career. Other than that, the two really weren't very different.

"What did I do?" he said evenly, backing up a few steps.

"You sent that comment in for the final cut. About us not just being actors hired by google. You sent that to the directors and they fucking posted it!"

Winston nodded, remembering editing Dan and Phil's message after the "Who's more likely to" game they'd played at vidcon. The directors actually let the two cut some of the footage themselves before sending it in to be processed. They were allowed a lot of creative liberty, since the project was a full-time commitment. In return, they got extremely high pay and the ability to alter the Dan and Phil story as they wished, just so long as the ultimate tragic ending was realized.

"You said it," Winston pointed out.

"It was a joke," the other man spat back. "I was trying to be in character."

"Well good on you. Come on, it's not like they're actually going to find out."

Zachary shook his head, looking irritated. "Whatever." He took a few long strides around the room and then sat down on one of the large grey sofas in Winston's living room.

"God, I just had those cleaned," he complained, pretending to be annoyed.

"Sorry." Zachary rose and walked back over to the door. Winston did a slight double take. Maybe he'd been looking into his colleague's strangely-colored eyes for a little too long; maybe he'd expected Phil to be there and laugh or rub his face all over the expensive fabric.

"Gaming channel's out on Friday," he said, trying to make conversation. "Might go out and celebrate. It's the biggest plot point of the year, isn't it?"

"I thought you and Holly were in court."

Winston looked down, shaking his head.

"She's still demanding eighty percent." The lack of a ring on his finger still felt strange after five months. It wasn't that he still loved Holly, exactly. They'd grown apart over the years and he knew deep down it wasn't working. What made it awful was the fact that he knew he might not get another girlfriend or boyfriend until 2020, when the Dan and Phil saga was scheduled to end. He couldn't exactly go meet people as Winston Fields now that Dan Howell was famous without risking discovery. Even that he could almost live with though. Of course his job was demanding, but he'd taken it for a reason. Once he was out in the world with enough plastic surgery to make sure he'd never be recognized as the ex web star, he'd be rich and his producers could get him a job with almost anyone if he pulled it off. What bothered him more was what she'd said the night she left.

"I can't do this anymore, Win," she'd cried, gesturing to the Gold Play Button plaque that was hanging in the bedroom, congratulating 'danisnotonfire' on one million subscribers. "I can't be married to someone who's—"

"Who's what? A liar? You and I made this decision together."

"No. Who's living out some gay love story only for your fake husband to die of some fake illness just so you can exploit a bunch of people who are just trying to help him pay for the treatment."

"I didn't think it bothered you. Okay, it's a little fucked up, but Dan's successful. The people who will give will give because they care, not because they really think Phil's going to die if they don't."

"You talk about him like he's a real person."

"I've played him since 2009. What am I supposed to do, just act like I don't spend half my time pretending to be him?"

She'd laughed derisively, tears shining in her eyes.

"I don't think you're pretending anymore. I see it on the internet. 'Heart-eyes Howell.' When's the last time you looked at me like that? When's the last time you treated me like Dan treats Phil? And he's not even out yet!"

"I don't—"

"Forget it, Winston. I'm not going to be married to someone who's in love with a man who doesn't even exist."

"Just run it by me next time you're planning on including a reference to who we are. If the producers left it in I'm sure they can cover it up," Zachary said, straightening his tie. "Have a good afternoon."

"That last draw Phil naked was pretty hot," he joked as the other man started to leave. It got him to turn around and he looked at his face for a long moment. Dan loved the color of Phil's eyes. He commented on it sometimes now, but it would be one of the first major hints towards the end of 2016 that the youtubers were in a relationship. Unlike Winston, Zachary didn't have to wear color contacts for his role. The blue-green-yellow eyes Dan was always staring at were real.

"Do you want to run lines?" Zachary asked, looking confused. He slipped into Phil's voice effortlessly. "I know, right? Two million! I am just a…sex god."

Winston chuckled and took on Dan's voice as well. They sounded quite similar, but the inflexion was a bit different. Sometimes he caught himself talking as Dan without meaning to. Zachary was from LA; he didn't have that problem.

"That's, uh, one way to put it, Phil."

Phil gave him the same soft and radiant smile that he always did. Then his eyes hardened and Zachary was back.

"Sorry, Winston. I should really get going. Email me I need to know anything before we film the Tumblr tag."

"I might see you," he said, forcing a friendly smile. Zachary didn't deny it, but his look was cold. "Or not. I'll email you."

The other actor walked outside and Winston quickly shut the door behind him. He didn't know how Zachary could do it – be so warm and happy and Phil Lester one moment and then cold and completely different the next. He turned away from the man in the suit walking briskly away from his house and took a few deep breaths. His heart was beating too quickly for his liking. Maybe he was letting Dan Howell's life get a little too close to his own.