The time that I had spent in the crystal caverns was time that I had used to think about myself, and who I wanted myself to be. I had begun to think that maybe, just maybe, my uncle's point of view wasn't as bad as I thought. I had even begun to come to terms with the idea. I could deal with living in the upper ring with Uncle; working at the tea shop wasn't bad either. Uncle enjoyed it, but, tea has always been one of his favorite things. And, even though we didn't work in the same place anymore, Jin occasionally came by to visit. When I looked at it like this, my life wasn't all that bad. It wasn't what I wanted from my life, but I had decided that I could live with it. It was strange how one single event was able to take these thoughts, and turn them backwards.
The Dai Li agents had thrown me into the caverns after Azula had captured me and when I saw that waterbender girl in the caverns with me, I knew that he would show up soon to rescue her. My first thought was that, when he comes, I'll finally be able to catch him. That's when she started accusing me of the very thought that I had in my head, and then blaming me for not understanding her sadness and anger. To her, maybe even to both of us, the avatar was like a beacon of hope. She lost her mother due to the war, and wants it all to be over, something that only he would be able to accomplish whereas, the avatar for me means my restoration. At the mention of her mother's death, I empathized. The war took her mother from her, and it also took away mine. The pain, suffering and devastation...we had both gone through it. We were the same. Before then we were bitter enemies, and, only for a moment in the caverns were we complete equals. She had even come to admit that we were both standing on the same ground.
"It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face."
"My face, I see." But, what do you see in my face now?
She had apologized, and even offered to heal my scar. I was shocked at the offer, knowing that it would be impossible to heal a scar that had marked me for years. However, she told me about the water that she had gotten from the spiritual oasis at the North Pole, and that it had certain properties, that would, most likely, remove my scar. She had reached up and touched it, and I had let her. I had never let anyone touch my scar before then. This could have been a new start for me. I would have finally been able to leave the scars, both tangible and not, of my past behind me and start anew. I was amazed that she had even wanted to waste this healing water on someone like me, someone who had chased her, her friends and even captured her. Maybe, she too, thought I had changed.
As soon as it had got there, her hand left my face and she cried out the avatar's name. I snapped back to reality and looked ahead to notice my uncle and the avatar bursting through a hole in the wall. Uncle had run over to me and embraced me while the waterbender held the avatar. I glanced over for a moment, only to find the avatar glaring at me. He hadn't even given me a chance. He automatically assumed that I was the same person that I was three months before. I reached out to grab him, but, Uncle had stopped me, and it had hurt me that he had stopped me. He had told the two of them to leave while they could, and he and I stayed where we were.
"You are not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny."
The crossroads of my destiny, that phrase had a heavy weight to it. I had tried to take in my uncle's words, but, before I could Azula had come, and I found myself glad that the waterbender and the avatar had left before she showed up. Her agents had trap Uncle, despite my protests. She had called him a traitor, but before the day was over, it would not be him who was the traitor.
"At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have your father's love. You will have everything you want."
Azula had said that she needed me to take down the Earth Kingdom. She needed me. Azula had never said such a thing before. I felt as though she genuinely wanted me, and that, for once, she was telling the truth. Azula had left by then, giving me time to make my decision, and soon the sounds of a fight were heard deeper in the caverns. The waterbender and the avatar had not made it out on time. I waited for Uncle to say something, anything, to help me make up my mind. He didn't, and I was on my own. Despite the truthful tone to her voice, I knew that Azula always lied. I knew that, but, the way that the avatar looked at me. The way he looked at me like I was lower than the caverns we were in, helped me to justify my cause. No matter how much I changed, that look said that he would never accept me. I turned away from Uncle and followed the sounds of the fight to where the three of them were. They all paused and looked at me, and in my final moment of indecision I aimed my fist at Azula.
"At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have your father's love. You will have everything you want."
I then changed my position and attacked the avatar, and I could almost see my previous life returning to me. Azula's promises of my life as it was before were finally within my reach, along with the avatar. Through a strange series of events, I ended up fighting the girl who, only moments before, had offered to change my life forever.
"I thought you had changed!"
"I have changed."
I was just as Uncle had said. I was stronger, wiser and freer. At least, I thought that I was. Azula would not take a weakling as her accomplice. As I fought her I could see the anger, distrust, and disappointment in the waterbender's eyes, and I thought am I doing the right thing?
After a few minutes of unsuccessful fighting the Dai Li showed up to help defeat the avatar and the girl. It was then that victory was in sight, and with the fall of the city, my honor would rise. The avatar realized how outnumbered they were, and he began to meditate. I knew that he would not do this without a reason, and that he must have finally figure out to control his avatar state. My guess was correct, and the avatar had arrived in his all-powerful state, something that I have witnessed too many times, and he hovered above us all, preparing to take us all out when it happened. I heard the crackling of the lightening and watched, hiding my horror, as the room lit up with the blue-white glow of Azula's most powerful bending and then the avatar was hit, and killed. When I saw the smirk on Azula's face I knew that what I was doing was wrong. As the waterbender took water from the stream to catch her falling friend I thought about what I had said to her. "I have changed." No I hadn't. I was still as foolish as ever.
Even in their weakened state, my sister and I still advanced on them, until Uncle stopped us, warning them to go. I watched as the girl guided them up the waterfall and out of my sight, and then watched Uncle surrender himself and turn his head away from me. Again I realized how foolish I really was. I had just lost the only person, other than my mother, who had ever cared about me. He was taken away, and Azula and I went to the palace. When we got there, I told my sister of my concerns.
"I betrayed Uncle."
"No, he betrayed you."
I remained silent and glanced upward toward the sky where I knew the waterbender and the avatar would be. I remembered the spiritual oasis water that she had shown me and I thought that she had better use it to save the avatar, because Azula had to go down.