Title: Girls will Gossip
Summary: Ziva and Abby have a gossip session about the boys of NCIS.
Feedback: Always welcomed and appreciated.
Author Notes: Thanks to Beth, Erynn, Jessica and Lesley for inspiring this one shot with a discussion on my Facebook page! We do have fun over there. Come join us :) And to all my other wonderful followers and readers as well...you all inspire me to keep writing.
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She popped another chip in her mouth, chewed it then continued. "McGee is the only one really?"
The other woman nodded. "Yup. I even wanted him to try it and he wouldn't."
"How did you want him to try it?" Ziva asked glancing over at Abby.
"I tried to get him to have a threesome." Abby smirked.
"With whom?"
"Me, him and my friend Gaven." A sigh of longing dripped from Abby's lips. "God that would have been hot!"
"Have you slept with Gaven?"
"Oh yeah, but him and Timmy together. I would have loved that!" Reaching into the bowl between them, Abby grabbed a couple chips.
Ziva laughed again. "Two men together really gets you all hot and bothered."
"Nothing better than two hot men playing hide the sausage or smoking the pole."
Ziva's brow furrowed. "Smoking the pole?"
"Yeah you know." Abby grinned as she started giving other examples. "Playing the skin flute, getting your knees dirty, chroming his dome." She paused and saw that Ziva was still confused. "Really?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"We really need to work on your sexual slang!" Abby groaned as she finally just said it. "Giving head, a blow job."
"Oh...OH!" Ziva's widened. "I get it now the skin flute."
"You need another drink." Sitting up, Abby grabbed the bottle and filled her own glass. Ziva held out her glass and Abby repeated the process.
"Okay. I know Tony has been with men but when did it start?" Rolling onto her side, Ziva waited for the answer. Abby knew everything about everyone it seemed like.
"He does like men." Abby and Tony had been friends since about six months after Tony started at NCIS. "He told me that the first time was at camp. He sucked some guy off in the closet."
"Why does it always happen at camp?" Ziva laughed.
"Because even though they would never admit it, when you put a group of testosterone crazed teenage boys together they get their rocks off in any way possible. Including with each other." Abby giggled.
"Just like teenage girls." Ziva grinned.
"Absolutely." Abby agreed. "Girls are just willing to admit it."
"Why are men so reluctant to admit even an experience with another man?" Ziva shook her head. "What is the big deal?"
"I know really." Taking a quick drink, Abby sighed. "It's this macho thing. Men that like other men or even experiment with another man are thought to be unmasculine. So not true!"
"And if more men realized how hot women found two men together." Ziva chewed at her lower lip. "More men would try it."
"God I know." Abby moaned with arousal. "I mean just look at all the hot sexy men at NCIS that have done each other or other men."
"Who was the first?" Ziva asked. She'd come in a few years late so she knew she had to have missed some of the action.
"That would be Ducky and Gerald." Abby rolled over facing the other woman. "Those two have been on and off again for years."
Ziva's mouth dropped open slightly. "Is that why I see Gerald in the building sometimes?"
Abby grinned and nodded. "They are back at it again. Gerald went over to be with Ducky that day after what happened with Mary."
"Ah so I guess Gerald will be hanging around the building more." Ziva said raising her glass to her lips again.
"Yup. Those two just need to realize they are made for each other and get on with it." Grabbing another chip, Abby shoved it in her mouth.
"Does Jimmy know about Gerald and Ducky?"
"Oh yeah." Abby nodded recalling what had happened. "He's totally cool with it. Well except for that time he walked in on Ducky sucking Gerald's cock."
"Jimmy walked in on that!" Ziva's hand went to her mouth. "Did he faint?"
"No Gerald said he just stammer for a few seconds then apologized and walked out."
"I would have loved to seen Jimmy's face" That would have been priceless. Ziva could only imagine the stunned look on the young man's face. "Did Jimmy and Tony ever?"
"No." Abby shook her head. "Jimmy probably would have if Tony wanted but you know Tony. He only wants to play with one guy."
Ziva grinned. "And we all know who that is?"
"Oh yeah!" Everyone knew the only man Tony wanted.
"After that?" Ziva was pretty sure she knew the next pair.
"Jimmy and Vance."
"WHAT!" Ziva shouted almost spilling her drink.
Abby laughed. "You didn't know?"
"When? How? Why!" Shaking her head, Ziva was completely shocked. "Vance is married."
"So!" Abby rolled her eyes. "Lots of married guys cheat or invite someone into the bedroom."
"ABBY! Are you saying-"
"Oh yeah." Wiggling her eyebrows, Abby grinned. "Vance and his wife like to share."
"WOW!" Ziva dropped down onto her back staring at the ceiling. "That is a surprise."
"Jimmy loves it." Abby had heard Jimmy tell the story a thousand times. "It starts out with just Jimmy and Leon getting each other all hot, horny and hard while Jackie watches. Then once Jimmy starts giving Leon the bone. Jackie jumps in and Leon does her."
"A Leon sandwich."
"Oh yeah!" Abby licked her lips.
"Guess you really never know what people are into." Ziva hadn't seen that one coming. "Vance seems more of the give it kind of guy."
"Oh he can be." Abby's eyebrow went up. "Seems Breena likes to share too."
"Are you kidding me?" This was getting more and more ridiculous. Ziva ran her hands through her hair. "So Breena, Jimmy and Vance."
"Well sometimes." Abby tried to hide a grin.
Ziva's mouth dropped open again. "Breena, Jimmy and Jackie!"
Slowly Abby nodded.
"I cannot believe this." Ziva knew there were a lot of things she didn't know about her colleagues but this one was shocking and slightly disturbing.
"Oh come on everyone's got a little freaky in them." Abby knew freaky very, very well.
"Maybe." Ziva rolled onto her stomach and grinned. "But I know the next pair."
"Who?" There was doubt in Abby's voice. Doubt that Ziva was right.
"Gibbs and..." Ziva drew it out. "Fornell. Yes?"
"Damn you do know."
"Of course." Ziva rolled her eyes picking up a chip. "Although I expected that to be more than a onetime thing."
"No way." Gibbs and Fornell, that was never meant to be. Abby knew that, actually it really wasn't meant to happen at all. "Gibbs turned Fornell down. Remember?"
"Right." Ziva pointed at Abby. "During that whole Tony being framed for murder Fornell came on to Gibbs."
"Oh yeah. And the silver fox shot him down." Abby and Ziva had overheard the exchange by accident. They were in the stairwell, one floor down from where Gibbs and Fornell were having their conversation.
"But Gibbs did it very nicely." Ziva remembered being surprised by how nice Gibbs was turning Fornell down.
"Very unGibbs, but him and Fornell have this kinship." Abby adored their relationship, they were alike in some ways but so different as well. "Let's reenact it! You play Fornell."
"Okay." Ziva put on her best Fornell face. "We have been friends a long time Jethro."
"Yeah so." Abby said in her best Gibbs' voice.
"Why have we never crossed the line?"
"Because we know each other too well." Abby gave a Gibbs' smirk.
"But that is a good thing." Ziva leaned closer to Abby. "We work really well together in every other situation."
"And part of that is because we don't fuck each other." Abby tried to keep her stern Gibbs' face on, but as she continued to look at Ziva they both broke out laughing.
Trying to get back in character, Ziva cleared her throat and again tried to speak like Fornell. "You have never even thought about it? Not once."
"Tobias. We're friends. That's all." Abby replied as she reigned in her laughter.
"Come on. Did it ever cross your mind?"
Abby sighed in character again. "Once when you really pissed me off. I really wanted to fuck you over."
Ziva was the first to start laughing this time.
"Oh god we will never get through this." Abby groaned.
"It doesn't matter." Ziva sighed. "We know eventually...a drunken Gibbs gave in."
"He didn't give in." Abby corrected. "He took Fornell so hard they broke the kitchen table."
"That has not been confirmed!" Ziva snapped pointing at Abby.
"Oh come on! Get over it, you lost twenty bucks." Abby rolled her eyes. "Just pay Ducky the damn money already."
Ziva stuck out her tongue.
Abby wiggled her eyebrows and grinned. "You offering?
"Abby!" Ziva scoffed smacking Abby's arm playfully. "You are incorrigible."
"I know." Abby winked and took a drink. "But the best thing about Gibbs and Fornell."
The two locked eyes and they spoke in unison. "DIANE!"
Another outburst of laughter.
"I did not think Gibbs would tell her." At first Ziva didn't understand why Gibbs would admit to his ex wife that he had sex with Fornell, but then everyone explained to her how much Gibbs and Diane hated each other.
"That was payback big time." Abby smirked. "Telling your bitch ex wife, that you, ex husband number one, banged her ex husband number two, over the kitchen table."
"She was um...pissed is not severe enough is it?" None of the team would forget the day after Gibbs told Diane about the incident with Fornell.
"No it's not." Eyes wide Abby could just imagine the anger and venom that dripped from Diana's lips. "I'm surprised she didn't take down the house."
"But instead she took down the boat."
Abby shook her head. "An ax, lighter fluid and matches against a wooden boat...bye bye boat."
"At least the fire department got there before the fire spread." The only reason they actually knew about the incident was because the fire department got a call out to Gibbs' house. Well that was how they learned about the fire, a few days later they learned how the fire started.
"Thank God we stayed late that night." An evil grin spread across Abby's face. "And that I convinced you to read the insurance report on Gibbs' desk."
"I still do not know how you convinced me to do that!" Ziva sighed. She didn't mind snooping now and then but no one snooped on Gibbs.
"Really, you don't remember?" Abby looked at Ziva with a smirk.
Ziva's eyes went wide. "Um, right I remember."
"I thought so." If Ziva didn't remember Abby would gladly remind her.
"He actually wrote on the insurance claim. My first ex-wife, the spawn of Satan, set the boat in the basement on fire."
Again, they both broke out in a fit of laughter, both holding their aching stomachs.
"Oh but Fornell's reaction was just as good just not as dramatic!" Abby managed to say through the laughter.
"Do you think Gibbs and Fornell realize we listen at the elevator doors sometimes?" Ziva asked still laughing.
"I'm sure they do by now." Slowly starting to reign in her laughter, Abby grinned. "But I think that day Fornell was just so pissed off he didn't care who heard."
"True." Ziva grinned back.
Clearing her throat, Abby did her best Fornell impression. "Damn it Jethro what the hell were you thinking telling the money sucking she beast about what happened between us?"
"I was thinking." Ziva replied speaking like Gibbs. "I couldn't wait to see her head spin around and explode when I told her."
"You told her I was the best cock sucker you ever had, even better than her."
"Yeah so."
"She said I learned everything from her."
"Did you?"
"NO!"
"Then don't worry about it."
"Damn it Jethro you really are a fucking bastard."
"You better than anyone should know that Toby."
"Don't you dare call me that!"
"Why you liked it that night."
Ziva broke character. "Oh Gibbs talking about that night was priceless."
Abby now took on the Gibbs role. "You liked me calling you Toby that night...suck my cock Toby, take every inch of my cock Toby, suck me dry Toby, bend over Toby give me that ass, that's it Toby milk my cock."
Another bout of laughter.
"I thought Fornell was going to actually hit Gibbs." Ziva truly had thought they would come to blows in the elevator that day.
"I thought Tony was gonna pass out when he heard that!" Abby could still remember Tony's face. They had all been standing listening at the elevator doors. Her, Ziva, Tony and Tim. But when Tony heard Gibbs saying all that, Tony completely lost it. His eyes practically bugging out of his head, his mouth dropping to the floor, his face flushed, and his ears red. After hearing it Tony walked away and they all knew why.
"Poor Tony." Ziva's words were filled with sarcasm.
"Hey!" Abby punched Ziva's arm.
"Ouch!"
"You know Tony is really sensitive he just doesn't show it sometimes." Abby was Tony's biggest supporter and defender. "How would you feel listening to the man you're in love with talking about sucking and fucking some other guy?"
Ziva rolled her eyes. "All Tony ever had to do was open his big mouth and tell Gibbs how he felt."
"Yeah." Abby smirked. "True. Gibbs wanted Tony since he brought Tony into NCIS."
"Everyone knows the head slaps are just Gibbs and Tony foreplay." Ziva winked at Abby. "Keeps them both on edge all day at work."
"True. Especially since an ass slap would be completely inappropriate."
"Remember that morning after Gibbs and Tony had sex for the first time?" There was an evil excitement in Ziva's voice.
"Oh yeah!" Abby matched Ziva's enthusiasm. "Tony couldn't stop grinning, kept glancing all lovingly over at Gibbs desk, and had to hid his raging hard on every time Gibbs looked at him or spoke one word to him!"
The two rolled on the bed giggling like school girls.
"And Gibbs was totally oblivious to all of it!" Ziva said between giggles.
"For being so observant, sometimes Gibbs can be completely clueless." Abby still couldn't stop giggling.
"How long did that last?" Ziva nudged Abby's shoulder. "Like two weeks! Tony couldn't even look at Gibbs without getting hard. Remember-" Ziva paused as the giggling took over for a minute. "He carried around a file all the time just to hide it!"
"That was how Gibbs finally figured it out." Abby grabbing her stomach. "And when Tony got his first taste of Gibbs at work."
"In the interrogation viewing room!" Shaking her head, Ziva tried to control her laughter. "I think Gibbs forgot that interrogation is sound proof but not the viewing room!"
"Still." Abby tried to catch her breath from laughing so hard. "Gibbs had to be screaming pretty loud for you to hear it coming out of the ladies room."
"Oh he was screaming loud alright." Ziva grabbed Abby's arm as she groaned like Gibbs had that day. "That's it Tony. Fuck yes. Take it all."
"Oh, Oh wait what about that night about a week later when we went to Gibbs place. And walked in and heard Tony screaming from the basement." Abby took Ziva by both arms. "Oh Jet, please fuck me, harder. Oh yes make me come."
"They are like wild animals." Everyone had realized early on when Gibbs and Tony wanted each other, they took each other no matter where they were. "Remember when Gibbs called us all to Autopsy to tell us that he and Tony were seeing each other."
"And Gibbs face when he realized we all already knew!" Abby felt the tears streaming down her face. "I have never seen him look so mortified."
"That was your fault!" Ziva balked rolling onto her back. "When you told him we knew because Tony couldn't control his cock and he couldn't come quietly!"
"Well it's the truth." Everyone knew Abby was a horrible liar.
"Then you made it even worse!" Ziva snickered. "When you told him how you loved the thought of two hot guys together like that."
"I do." Abby crawled over Ziva's prone body, straddling one of her legs. She leered down the scantily clad body under her. "But you in just that camisole and panties is so much hotter."
"Is that so?" Ziva's eyes skimmed down Abby's body, the Goth in the same state of undress. "What do you plan to do about it?"
That devilish grin spread over Abby's face. "What I always do about it." Her fingers caressed down Ziva's taunt stomach and slipped into the panties already moist with desire.
Ziva moaned and thrust her hips up as Abby's fingers brushed across her wet center. "Abby please don't tease."
"Fine." Abby shoved two fingers inside her lover the warm passage eagerly accepting the intrusion.
"Yes!" Ziva groaned loudly.
"Now now, keep your voice down." Abby smirked. "You don't wanna be like Gibbs do you."
"HEY!" He knocked loudly on the adjoining door as he screamed. "ENOUGH! You know damn well we can hear everything over here!"
Ziva's gaze locked on Abby's, the noise started as a soft chuckled then grew to a quiet laugh until both busted into hysterical giggles.
"We leave at zero six hundred tomorrow morning, go to sleep!" Gibbs yelled through the door between their two hotel rooms.
"Trying Gibbs but Ziva's seducing me in here!" Abby managed to say through the giggles.
"AM NOT!" Ziva snapped. "You are the one with your fingers in my-"
"BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF!" Gibbs bellowed not letting Ziva finish the sentence. "SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP."
When the giggling stopped and he received no response, Gibbs walked back towards the bed shaking his head.
"They're just doing it to be annoying." Tony smirked from the bed. "They know it bothers you."
"Why did I bring them on this case?" Gibbs voice was still raised.
"Because you had to." Tony chuckled. "Come back to bed"
Climbing in and laying on his back, Gibbs ran his hands down his face.
"Why do you let them get to you?" It wasn't like Gibbs to let anyone get to him, especially Abby and Ziva.
Gibbs let out a long breath. "It's like listening to your daughter have sex, both your daughters." He shivered. "It's disturbing."
"Then don't listen." Tony grinned as he shifted on the bed, ending up between Gibbs' legs. "Focus on something else."
"I just yelled at them for this you know." Gibbs said eyebrow raised.
"Well prove them wrong." Wrapping a hand around Gibbs hard cock, Tony stroked slowly.
"Wrong about what?" Gibbs moaned.
"Prove that you can be quiet when you come." Tony smirked.