Title: It's Not Always About You

Author: Darley1101

Rating: M (Mature for content)

Characters: MC , Autumn friendship

Premise: The nice girl. The girl with all the answers. That is how others, especially your best friend Autumn, see you. And normally you don't mind. Today is different though. Today, you need to be the girl who gets to cry on someone's shoulder.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, etc, etc.

A crisp breeze catches your hair, sending the long strands flying around your face. Biting back a curse, you bat at the curtain of hair that has descended upon your face, silently berating yourself for not grabbing a ponytail holder before venturing out. Your mind hadn't been in the greatest of places when you left for school though. Your thoughts had been jumbled up with the news your parents had hit you with the night before. A solitary tear forms in the corner of your eye and trickles down your cheek. You reach up and swipe at it, disgusted with yourself for not being stronger.

"Hey!"

You hear your name being called and turn to find your best friend Autumn jogging towards you. One look at her solemn, almost pouty face, and you know. You know that someone, or something, has said or done something to hurt her. You know that she is going to expect you to hug her and tell her that everything will be alright. That was your role in the friendship. Normally you don't mind. You enjoy being there for your friends. Today is not normal. Today you have no strength for comforting hugs and encouraging words.

"…not sure how I feel about it."

You don't hear the words coming out of Autumn's mouth. And for a second you feel like a bad friend. You stop yourself from apologizing and shove your hands in your pockets. Maybe if you pretend to listen, Autumn will work things out on her own. It has happened before. It could happen again.

"Hey." You feel Autumn's slender hand rest on your shoulder; the two of your stopping just short of the steps leading up to your school. "Are you mad at me or something?"

"No?" You shake your head. "Why would ask that?"

"Because it feels like you're not listening."

You feel awful. Autumn was right. You hadn't been listening. The only voice, or rather voices, in you could hear were your parents telling you that your dad had stage 4 lymphoma and the doctors had given him less than a year. "I was listening," you lie after a while.

One of Autumn's brow's quirk up. "Really?" You nod. She shakes her head. "You're not a good liar."

"I was," you insist, emotion emphasizing each word. You couldn't do this right now. You couldn't be Autumn's go to person. Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she see that you needed her to be there for you?

"No you weren't."

You feel your cheeks start to burn. "Fine. I wasn't listening."

Anger and hurt start to burn in your chest as Autumn frowns and looks at you as though sucker punched her. "So you are mad me," she whispers.

You ball up your fists and shake your head. "Not everything is about you!" You instantly regret how spiteful the words sound.

Autumn takes a step back, her eyes wide. "I know that," she stammers. "Just like I hope you know that you can talk to me and that I'll try to be there for you."

Try. That was the key word. Autumn would try to be there. "I don't want to talk," you snap. You leave off the 'to you' because you know it will open up a whole new can of worms.

"Oh. Okay. That's okay. Just know that I'm here…okay?"

You nod. Relief shoots through you as Autumn tells you that she's going to head in to homeroom. She doesn't ask if you're coming. For once she seems to understand and accept that you need your space. You stand there, in the cold, trying to compose yourself. It suddenly feels impossible to breathe and you find yourself gasping like a fish out of water. Tears fill your eyes and before you can stop them, they pour down your cheeks.

"Look, I know you said you didn't want to talk but-"

Autumn is next you again. Her words cut off as she takes in your tears. Without saying anything, she wraps her arms around you. You stiffen up at first, then give in. "It's going to be okay," she says softly. "Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. And…even if it isn't…I'm here for you."