Title: Irrationality in the Search for the Beauty of the Sun
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Uhhh own them? No, love to though. Don't own the lyrics either. That belongs to the amazing talents of Smashing Pumpkins.
Summary: Greg has always been a rational person- but Sara just makes him do crazy things.
Notes: I was quite happily reading Soleil by jjhea and she mentioned this song- and well, I love it! As always feedback is greeted with warm arms, and I am also looking for a BETA, any volunteers? Also this is one version, second version coming out soon.
Dedicated: mj0621 (WGF)who told me to write more, so this is especially for you!
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Greg was a rational man, he had always been proud to say that he was, because he knew what irrationality could do to some people. Irrational men could never be trusted. So Greg had always avoided anything and everything that could have caused him to act even slightly irrational. He just didn't think that any relationship would leave him acting upon impulse; unlike some men. He couldn't really explain how, or why, his rational mind was soon taken over by thoughts and feelings that could drive any man to irrational deeds. Which always lead Greg to the conclusion that having a woman in his life could do more harm than good.
Sara had noticed, maybe she even liked it… Because only an irrational man would act the way Greg had in many situations. Only a man with more madness than common sense would declare his undying love to Sara- even if she wasn't interested.
Well, she hadn't been interested then.
Beautiful, you're beautiful, as beautiful as the sun
Wonderful; you're wonderful, as wonderful as they come
That's what he had constantly reminded her- which was slightly startling to the pair. Because Greg had always claimed that he 'wasn't a romantic fool' but that sentiment led everyone to believe otherwise. Sara was shocked because she never knew that Greg quite felt that strongly towards her.
"You are the sun Sara, you light up my world." He had said, and Greg couldn't help but cringe at the mere thought of it- because blatantly that was possibly the most romantic/tacky sentence he was ever going to utter. He swore that he wouldn't say anything like that ever again, but well- he wasn't really rational anymore, how could tell what he might have done?
And I can't help but feel attached
To the feelings I can't even match
With my face pressed up to the glass, wanting you
She was like the sweet that every boy wanted a taste of; that people would press their noses against their glass, just wishing that one day they could just taste something so sublime upon their lips. Greg was always the first one there- pressing his nose against the glass so much, that it had become somewhat disfigured. He really wanted that tasty treat; even if it was so far out of his grasp.
A rational person would wait for the day they had enough to buy the delicious treat. But this irrational man would go ahead and spend ever last cent he owned upon it. That's what Greg would do, he was planning to… Until she'd put a stop to that.
But no amount of avoidance and rejection could ever stop the feelings. They had become part of who Greg was; after all he'd harboured them for years… They were so strong, and so intense much like the sun itself. No matter what Sara would do; Greg still had them- they were attached to him by some unbreakable glue.
Beautiful, you're beautiful, as beautiful as the sky
Wonderful, it's wonderful, to know that you're just like I
And I'm sure you know me well, as I'm sure you don't
He knew Sara, or at least the surface which she exposed. She knew the surface he displayed too. But neither really knew the person that was hidden beneath- but Greg wanted to know that side of Sara. He wanted to find that out, and he'd never rest (or at least be truly happy) until he was at least exposed to the Sara that was hidden underneath.
Greg would never give up- as Sara had a beauty that was unmatched by any other person. To be honest, she was like a goddess and Greg found her so enticing that nothing could stop his addiction. Rational men would plan; settle for second best. Irrational men would go to any lengths to get their first choice.
But Greg was a rational man, wasn't he?
But you just can't tell
Who'll you love and who you won't
Who'll you love and who you won't
Sara Sidle had always seen Greg as her kid brother; the young fledgling of the nest she had to look after. When he admitted that he harboured a slight infatuation; Sara immediately had to try and stop the misplaced feelings. After all, he admired her, but he was finding it difficult to separate admiration and lust in some cases. Just look at the case of Grissom and herself- that was all about misplaced worship.
So, to save the hassle of Greg finding out that he truly didn't love Sara the hard way of a relationship, she headed it off. Every time he asked her out- she turned him away; every time he said anything nice- she'd dismiss it; every time she felt anything- she'd put a halt to it.
Well, a rational person would have been able to stay away from falling in love with someone. Only an irrational one would fall head-over-heels, desperately, helplessly in love after everything else.
And I love you, as you love me
So let the clouds roll by your face
We'll let the world spin on to another place
We'll climb the tallest tree above it all
To look down on you and me and them
Sometimes, admitting to yourself that you are no longer a rational person can make all the difference. That was definitely the case there; as finally they realised it wasn't a case of rationality anymore; it wasn't about senses… It was about feelings.
Sara realised that she truly was failing; trying to deny that there was anything there- like a rational person. Greg realised that he was failing; only playing within the ordinary boundaries- like a rational person. Because the quest for beauty and happiness wasn't about rational people- it was about irrationality and chances.
Finally, reluctantly, they gave in and found each other. In amongst the chaos of a quadruple homicide off Henderson; Greg and Sara found each other. Two people that didn't want to give up their hope in humanity; two people that needed some comfort and two people without rationality. Even though there was so much evil shrouding them, through all the blood and the violence, the two finally connected- as Greg's arms found their way around Sara's waist and her head found the crook of his neck.
It was as if they were looking down upon that scene, from some other perch in a peaceful place. The world could carry on around them, but there wasn't anyone else in that moment apart from Greg and Sara.
And I'm sure you know me well, as I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who you'll love and who you won't
Who you'll love and who you won't
Who you'll love and who you won't
There were many coffees to be had; many romantic meals to eat and many sordid nights to enjoy. Then there were the more placid moments to occur too. Lazy mornings waking up together; afternoons curled up watching television and moments of recovering the faith in life.
They could never have known in advanced that irrationality would make life that way. That's why they were both glad that they couldn't choose who they fell in love with- otherwise they'd never have found each other; because Greg would have chosen some model and probably live to regret the lack of intelligent conversations and Sara would have chosen some intellectual figure and would live to regret the lack of fun.
Instead though, they'd never live to regret it because they'd found the beauty in the world within one another. Where one was always looking out for fun, the other had a dedicated streak- where one got wrapped up in work, the other had the attitude that could make someone realise there was more to life.
Don't let your life wrap up around you
Don't forget to call, whenever
I'll be here just waiting for you
I'll be under your stars forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you
I'll be under the stars forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you
Irrationality had brought them both the beauty of the sun; and now they could live their lives together, just looking at the beautiful starry skies that would someday tell their story.