Friday night. It had been two weeks since Jane Rizzoli had shot and killed Patrick Doyle. Jane was sitting at her desk at the precinct, filling out forms and looking up contact information for her recent case. Maura was still out on personal leave, and was due back on Monday. Friday night had been their movie night, but they hadn't spoken since the shooting.
The first few days, Jane had tried calling, then texting Maura, but had never gotten any responses. She assumed Maura needed some time, that she'd get over it. She was still waiting.
The detective would go home every night to Joe Friday, and would pass out on the couch, fully clothed, her dinner consisting of half a dozen beers.
Tonight would be no different. It was already 10PM when Jane walked into her dark apartment. Jo desperately whimpered to go out. Jane felt a pang of guilt and stepped out into the street with her. That's when her mind started churning, and as much as Jane tried steer away from it, her thoughts kept going to the shooting. And Maura.
I was just doing my job. I was protecting her. Protecting all of us. How dare she make me feel like I murdered him?
She could feel the herself getting upset again, and sighed loudly. That's why she needed the beer. To cut the edge. To wrap everything in a nice blanket of fog, so she couldn't see the sharp, ugly edges of her guilt, so it wouldn't cut so deep anymore.
"Okay, we're done, Jo."
She gently pulled on the leash, and Jo happily followed her to settle in for the night.
Jane opened the fridge and stared at the empty door shelf where the beers should have been.
"Fuck!"
She had forgotten to stop by the store to refill after last night. She checked the crisper drawer to see if bottles would have materialized in there. None had. She considered the possibility of staying sober. She sighed. Not Friday night. Not our night. She kicked the fridge closed and grabbed her keys.
Lost in her thoughts, she had found herself on the way to Maura's instead of stopping at the store. Jane parked her car in the driveway.
She saw a BMW she didn't recognize parked next to Maura's Prius. The lights were on in the living room. The doctor had company. Jane felt the heat of anger flare up in her throat and face. She was spending Friday night alone, but Maura was still having fun. Without her best friend. Were they even friends anymore?
Jane clenched her jaw and got out of the car, her hand going to her side arm by reflex.
She stepped up onto the porch, ignored the bell and banged loudly on the door.
It had only taken a couple of days for Maura's logical mind to overcome her emotional reaction to Jane's shooting of her father. She knew Jane had only acted according to her police training, and would take it back if she could. However, she hadn't answered any of Jane's attempts to contact her, and felt guilty about aggravating her friend's anguish. But Maura's reluctance had less to do with her father's death than with Jane herself.
In the last months, Maura had developed romantic feelings for Jane. At first, she was happy to simply pretend, to go along with the banter and the innocent flirting. Better friends than nothing at all. However, it had proven more and more difficult to push her feelings to the background. It was all she could think about, day and night, it distracted her at work, and being physically close to Jane was suffocating.
Jane killing her father had just been an opportunity for Maura to keep her distance, hoping to get over her crush, and try to be normal again.
She had taken time off, counting on the change in routine to regain control. Regardless, she had been dreading Friday night. The week prior, she had gone to the Opera, alone. It had reminded her too much of going out with Jane. Tonight, she had gone to the Hyatt's bar, where she'd have her choice of mate for the night. Maybe a roll in the hay would help her get over Jane.
She had settled on a tall, blond, muscular specimen. A CFO from New York in town for a company offsite. He had followed her to Maura's house and they were now having a drink in the kitchen, even though Maura had been ready to take things to the bedroom right away. Men inevitably seemed to think they had to go through the paces first. She patiently indulged him while he talked about his financial accomplishments. He clearly was a little intimidated by Maura's standing. She smiled and nodded politely while sipping her wine.
The doctor heard a loud knock on the front door. She frowned. It was late, and she didn't want another delay. She apologized to her date and stepped over to open the door.
Jane had prepared a snarky remark for Maura, but forgot it the second she saw her. She had forgotten how beautiful the doctor was. The scent of Maura, her house, wafted over her and she inhaled it deeply. The detective realized her mouth hung open and snapped it shut.
"Jane..."
"Hey."
They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, until Jane caught some movement in the back of the kitchen. She looked up at the handsome man standing there with a half-empty glass of liquor in his hand, clearly annoyed at the interruption. Jane's anger reared up again.
"Who's this?" Jane nodded in his direction.
"It's..." Maura realized she had forgotten. She shot a guilty glance at him, but still couldn't conjure his name. "It doesn't matter. Why are you here?" Maura's voice was hard again.
It's Friday night, our night!
"I'm checking up on you. What do you think? Isn't it what friends do?" Jane talked through her teeth, trying to keep her voice low, but it ended up sounding like a growl.
"Jane, I don't want to do this tonight. Please."
"Bullshit! I've waited long enough." Jane pushed the door open and walked in past Maura.
Dude took a step forward.
"Is everything all right?" He looked at Maura, then at Jane.
Jane flashed her badge at him.
"Get out."
Dude looked confused, glanced at Maura, who gave him a apologetic look. She reached for the jacket that was draped over the back of the couch and ushered him out. She closed the door behind him before he could finish stammering a few choice words.
They fell silent until they heard his car drive off. Staring at Jane's figure, her dark, tired eyes and frumpy clothes, Maura realized that sadly, two weeks had done nothing to dull her feelings for her. She sighed.
"Are you happy now? What do you want?" She asked softly.
"Seriously? I want you to talk to me! I want to know if we're still friends or if I should just walk away! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"
Maura's eyes widened briefly at the verbal outburst, but she remained calm. She refused to give into Jane's attack.
"Don't talk to me that way. I just need more time. I... I'm still your friend. I miss you... terribly. I just can't... be around you right now." Maura struggled to explain, feeling her heart racing, dancing around the truth.
"BUT YOU CAN SLUT YOUR WAY AROUND BOSTON INSTEAD?"
As soon as the words came out her mouth, Jane wished she could suck them back in. She felt a sharp burn across her face when Maura slapped her. The cracking sound rang in her ears as her lower lip swelled up and she tasted the blood in her mouth.
"DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME! IT'S THE ONLY THING I CAN DO! I GO WITH THEM BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE YOU!"
Maura instantly brought her hand to her mouth, too late to stop the flow of words. She started crying instead, standing in front of Jane, who just clenched her teeth and got a fresh taste of blood out of her split lip.
Jane was stunned. She couldn't think of anything to say. She stepped forward but Maura pushed her back with a hand to her chest.
"No... Please, leave..." Maura struggled between sobs.
Jane stopped, but didn't back off.
"OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
Startled out of her confusion, the detective turned around and headed towards the door. She felt the whoosh of cold air hit her face when she opened it, and got a good hold on its side to slam it behind her. That's when she heard her name, so low she almost missed it.
"Jane..."
It hadn't been intended for her. She could hear the regret in Maura's voice. Maura was saying goodbye.
Jane stopped in mid-stride. She let her head drop over her chest, her heart thumping hard under her chin. She could also feel it throbbing in her bruised lip.
Jane turned around just as fast as she had rushed out, slamming the door shut behind her. She wrapped Maura in her arms and mashed her lips against hers.
She didn't move at first, waiting for Maura's reaction, curious about her own. She had fantasized about kissing her friend many times, but actually doing it was completely different. After a few seconds, she pulled back with a soft, lingering smack, her forehead still pressed against Maura's.
Taking the breath she didn't know she had been holding, Jane could now taste Maura's tears, her perfume, and her own blood that had started seeping again from the kiss.
Their lips still slightly touching, their breaths mingled back and forth while they both evaluated the situation.