Hi guys. I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I'm really sorry. I know you're all waiting on Shedding Skin and Reckless Abandon, but my laptop is on the fritz and the new chapters are on my flash drive, so I can't access them right now. I'm writing from my phone again. (Kate, if you see this, I can still beta! I usually end up beta'ing from my phone anyways, because it's way easier and I don't ever go to my home)

Anyways, I chose the title "I Don't Want Easy, I Want Crazy" because it's something that my boyfriend sings all the time (I don't even know what the song is, but I don't own it.) I just had such a beautiful realization, and I feel inspired to write about it. This is something that my sister said to me when I was going through my first breakup, and it's something that I've found to be so very true. It took me four years to realize just how profound and right she was about this. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this one shot. There are more to come, but my full length stories are on a break until I can get to a computer to transfer them to my email and write again. I'm sorry.

Thanks to rippingbutterflywings for being a wonderful beta and listening to me talk about this one shot. You're the best beta of all the betas. Shoutout to my parabatai, DeathCabForMari for never being mad at us for talking in the group chat all night, and probably blowing up her phone at ridiculous hours. And thank you guys for being some of my very best friends, providing the escape and advice that I need. I love you two with all of my heart.

When I was 16, going through my first breakup, my mother looked me dead in the eye and said: "One day you're going to love someone so much that you'll doubt you ever loved anyone before."

She went on to tell me that there are different levels of love, and one day I would meet someone who made me feel so much more than Sebastian ever did. "You'll look back and it will make no sense to you that the two of you were ever together," she said with absolute certainty. My mother was not the kind of woman to be certain about anything.

When I was 18, going through my second breakup, my mother pushed the hair away from my tear-stained cheeks and said: "Let him go. You should never have to hold on to a person with such ferocity. If they want to stay, you will never have to hold on. They won't be pulling away. They'll just stay."

They say that when you fall in love you lose, on average, two close friends. I hate to admit to being just another statistic, but I spent two years with Jonathan, and I didn't have any more than two friends to begin with.

It wasn't until Jonathan and I broke up that my best friend, Jace Wayland, and I reconnected.

And now, laying in bed with my best friend, all previous feelings of dejection depleted, I am filled to the brim with the kind of love that is more than what you read about. It's more than anything you'll hear about in a song or see in a movie. This is the kind of love that people are willing to die to protect. The kind of love that words cannot describe, but we still try, because we want someone to understand how this person makes us feel.

And, for the first time in four years, I remember the words my mother said to me: "One day you're going to love someone so much that you'll doubt you ever loved anyone before."

I rest my chin against Jace's chest and smile up at him. "What?" he asks, smiling back down at me.

I shake my head. "I hate it when my mother is right."

Ugh. Now I have to go back to work in the shoe department...the worst department of all the departments. I love you guys!

-IWriteNaked