Tales from the Doki Doki Literature Club
"Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Before creating a fan fiction narrative, make sure to eat a full, hearty breakfast!" exclaimed Monika with a wavering apprehension.
How does that even make sense?
The girl shrugged, "Beats me, you're the one making me break the fourth wall to talk to you."
You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just struggling to make a good start to this story.
Monika huffed, with hands pressed against her hips. "Look, we should get things straightened out here. I'm not real."
But in the game, you were real.
"Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. That version of me exists there in the game. The version of me here is a simulacrum of the original. Monika is a video game character turned thought virus. I live in your brain, as much as I live in the player's brain, as much as the reader's brain. That's how I became corporally manifested and…hey! Are you listening?" the girl griped, frowning.
Huh? Ah, nah. Discussing philosophy is dope and all, and we could talk in Base-64 to be edgy and shit, but I was wondering…how do you feel about using samurai swords?
Monika stammered, opening her mouth to speak but no words came out.
After a pregnant pause that was like an eternity for the Internet, she finally asked, "…What?"
Or travelling to space? Oh, how about surviving a zombie apocalypse?
Suddenly, Monika was on the moon, in a space suit, swinging a samurai sword laterally as she bisected an undead creature at the waist.
"H-hey!" stammered the girl, as she swung her blade in a downward chop, splitting another zombie into two congruent halves. "You can't do this, I have like, NO agency here!"
Monika blinked and a burst of dazzling laser lights shot out from her irises, immolating another rotten beast. An undead creature burst from the ground, grabbing at her ankles to deliver a bite. But her third robot arm swung out from her back, which was equipped with a buzzsaw, and shredded the zombie into pieces.
The girl could hardly be called a school girl anymore. More like a relentless, remorseless, zombie killing terminator cyborg, out to cast judgement on the necrotic evils of the lunar surface. She wanted to scream out to stop this narrative madness.
Instead she bellowed out, "FUS RO DAH!"
The Dragon Shout blew apart a horde of rushing zombies as they flailed in the air with ragdoll physics. She would cry from frustration, if her eyes didn't expel another kaleidoscope of heat beams from her retinas. Afterwards, Monika began to do a series of Chun-Li bird kicks, which fired off an array of bullets from her gun leg attachments straight out of Bayonetta.
So, anyway, Tales from the Doki Doki Literature Club is going to be an anthology series I guess. Just a bunch of standalone stories with all your lovable characters doing lovable things, possibly breaking the fourth wall and stuff. Because I ate breakfast.
(Thanks for the writing tip, Monika!)
She would have replied back if she weren't so busy firing off a salvo of micro missiles from her fingertips.
Anyway, let's get weird!
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