Peeta hates me. Actually, he hates me, and wants me dead. I know this isn't his fault though. It's the Capitol's. They changed him. They made him loathe me, and made him want to kill me.
I sit on my bed in my room in District 13, playing with the strap on my wrist that is entitled "mentally unstable." I run my hand over my neck, and it hurts, since there are bruises there.
I walk over to the mirror that's in my room, and look at my ugly reflection. My hair is a complete mess, and my eyes have bags under them from not sleeping.
They want to keep me away from Peeta since he's not fit to see me. I haven't seen him in three days since the incident happened. I feel lonley, empty. I should've given Peeta affection like he deserved, and not ignored him. Instead, I left him, and toyed with his emotions. Now, it's too late. I'm starting to think that he'll never love me again. Love. Such a complicated thing it is.
I'm putting my hair in my usual messy sidebraid, when I hear a knock on my door. Who could possibly want to see me right now? Probably the doctor wanting to give me my medicean. But when I walk over to the door, it's not the doctor. It's Finnick.
"Finnick," I say, tilting my head slightly. "What are you doing here?"
Finnick gives me a sad smile, and I can see that he's been going through rough things as well.
"I just wanted to check on you.. See how you are," His voice is calm and soft. "May I come in?"
I pause, and study him for a moment. Then I nod my head. He steps through my door, and shuts the door behind him. Then, he turns to me. He has a sympathetic look on his face.
"How are you, Katniss?" he asks in a questioning tone.
There's no use lying to Finnick, so I tell him the truth. I take a deep breath, and sit on my bed. He joins me, and sits next to me. "It's Peeta.. He hates me. And I fear that he'll never get better," my voice catches in my throat.
He looks deep into my eyes, as if trying to read me.
"I understand, Katniss. Annie has been really distant latley. She doesn't talk to me anymore. And.. It hurts, actually," he says in a quiet tone.
This is really surprising to me, that Finnick is sharing all this personal information with me. I don't say anything. I just nod. But then, he takes my hand, and I feel a surge of warmth go through me. Hope is maybe the feeling. It comforts me, and I smile at him. He smiles back.
"I'm sorry to here about that, Finnick," I say finally. "Do you.. do you love her?"
Finnick takes a deep breath. "I do.. Yes. But, it's hard to love someone who doesn't talk to you. That doesn't mean I don't love her.. I-I do, but.." Finnick's voice sounds nervous, and he trails off, looking at the floor.
I squeeze his hand. "I know how you feel, Finnick. I love Peeta, but he'll never love me back, I don't think," I say.
"He will, Kat. Don't say that. He'll get better, I know it," he looks into my eyes again.
"Thank you, Finnick.. Really, I appreciate it," I smile at him and he smiles back, nodding.
Something inside of my stomach turns. I don't know why, but I'm looking at Finnick in a whole new way now. I never really noticed how attractive he was. Or how kind and caring. I have never seen this side of Finnick. Only the side that's sarcastic and witty. I get scared. Really scared that I'm feeling this way, but I can't control that. His hand moves slowly up and down my arm, and it's comforting. He seems to notice how I'm feeling.
"Love.. It's a complicated thing, right?" Finnick whispers. I notice he's closer to my face, but I don't question this, or back away.
"Yeah.. Yeah it is," I say, my eyes examining him. He seems to be looking the same way at me.
Then, he kisses me. It's unexpected, and my eyes widen as his lips meet mine. The kiss is soft, and gentle. I still don't question this, and I don't know why, but I'm kissing him back, so lost in the moment. Me with Finnick? It's just.. weird, but it feels great. Then, I seem to come to my senses. I pull away, and look at him after a moment of kissing him.
"Finnick.." I say so confused with myself.
He immediatley stands up, and runs his fingers through his hair.
"Katniss.. I'm sorry. I-I don't know why I did that," he looks confused himself. "I should go."
"It's okay, Finnick.. Really, it's fine," I say, my voice shaky and nervous.