Hey worldwide,
So I've tried doing comp fics in the past, and I've never actually gotten past the first elimination, but no more! I will actually finish a fic I've started. This idea went through several phases and rough drafts and while I still don't have the whole thing planned out, I'm fully confident in my ability to finish it. So without further ado, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chris stood in front of the cameras, squinting as he was forced to look in the direction of the hot African sun. An arid breeze swept across his, making him flush. He adjusted his collar and wiped off the sweat forming on his brow. The cameras clicked on and signaled Chris to start talking.
"Last time on Total Drama: Sky and Shawn, with the help of Dave and Jasmine, competed for the prize on Pahkitew Island. Things got a bit…er…intense with Dave going psycho and trying to kill Sky. In the end, it was Zombie Boy Shawn that won the million dollars, and a girlfriend. Kind of boring, but better than going to Sky who acted kind of sketchy with her whole 'trick Dave into liking me thing'. Anyway, we're back for an all new season of Total Drama. And this one's going to be even better than before. This is Total…Drama…Favorites vs. Not Favorites!"
*music starts*
Cameras begin to pop out of various locations on the savannah. One lifts up a lion cub and the other bumps into a rhino.
Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine,
Chris and Chef are driving in a Jeep, until Topher pops up from the backseat and they swerve into a small river.
You guys are on my mind.
In the river, Harold is practicing his "mad skills" on a rock, until that rock rises out of the water and reveals itself to be a hippo.
You asked me what I wanted to be
Jasmine swoops down, picks Harold up, and jumps to the shore where a jealous Leshawna is waiting.
And now I think the answer is plain to see,
Sugar and Ezekiel chase after a couple of warthogs, but lose them in the brush. They end up stopping at the safari lodge.
I wanna be famous.
The camera cuts to inside the lodge, where Staci is chattering to a slightly irritated Sadie and an indifferent Noah.
I wanna live close to the sun,
In one of the rooms, Dave is being forced to watch Leonard practice his "magic".
Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,
Dave runs out to the balcony and jumps towards the pool.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
Outside the lodge, Scarlett observes Amy and Samey as the twins are trapped up in a tree by a pack of hyenas. She jots down some notes when Amy pushes Samey onto the lowest branch.
I'll get there one day.
Max runs up and steals her notes, prompting her to chase after him.
Cause, I wanna be famous!
Back at the pool, Dave lands on a beach umbrella and tumbles into the water. Brick jumps in to save him.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
Bridgette and Geoff are making out in the hot bub while Dawn meditates peacefully (and eerily) in the background.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
As the camera moves towards Courtney, she furiously shoves it towards Trent, who's playing his guitar.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Max and Scarlett arrive at the pool, but B ends up taking back the notes with an invention of his. He uses the invention to pick up Max and throw him in the pool.
(Whistling in tune)
"And this time it's taking place in the middle of the savannah, somewhere in Tanzania, Africa," Chris continued.
The camera panned around to show the dry, desert-like landscape of Tanzania. A small dirt road carved through a field of tall grass. There was a rumbling sound as a Jeep slowly came to a stop in front of Chris.
"What are they doing here?!" Chris stammered. He looked over at Chef, who shrugged. "The jeeps don't arrive until after the intro-"
"Chris!" A female voice shouted from inside the Jeep. The door was kicked open and Leshawna climbed out. "You have a lot of explaining to do," the black girl said angrily. "First you throw me out a plane, then make me sit on the sidelines for two seasons, just to rope me back in for another one of these stupid competitions?"
"That sounds about right," Chris admitted, irritated Leshawna was here so early. "I was just explaining how the season takes place in-"
"Ooh Chris," Topher said giddily, running towards the host. "Introduce me before you continue explaining, please?!"
Chris sighed. "Oh look, it's Topher, who only came back because Tyler didn't want to leave Lindsay to participate," the host deadpanned.
"We had a choice?" Leshawna asked, still pissed.
"Some of you did," Chris explained. "We gave a choice to the ones who fit the theme of this season a little less. Speaking of which, this season is all about-"
"PARTYING!" Cheered a blonde guy wearing a pink shirt and a cowboy hat. Geoff jumped out of the open back of the Jeep and landed on the ground. He grabbed his bags and jogged over to Chris. "Chris, wassup?" He held out his fist.
"Oh…you know," Chris replied. "Just trying to finish my damn intro before the rest of you get here." Geoff took a step back.
"That's harsh bro, chill out." Chris's eyes narrowed and Geoff joined Leshawna and Topher. "Leshawna, what's up?"
"Nothing much my brother," Leshawna fist-bumped him. She cast a glance over at Topher before looking back at Geoff. "Uh…do you know this fool?"
Geoff scratched his head and tilted his hat. "I think he's one of those new people. From that season after All-Stars."
"That's right!" Topher exclaimed. "I am Topher, the Chris 2.0, a self-given title. As you may have noticed, my main gimmick is to be exactly like Chris."
Leshawna laughed. "Hon, why would you wanna be anything like Chris Mclean?" She said his last name as if she had a sour taste in her mouth.
"I'm right here you know," Chris complained.
"You don't understand," Topher explained. "I don't want to be like Chris physically, I mean do you see how old he is? I want to be Chris, as in a host…of Total Drama!"
"They'll never replace me," Chris told him arrogantly. "It's a horrible idea. I make Total Drama…well…Total Drama."
"I don't know man, it might be a good idea," Geoff admitted. "This show could use a fresh new face and he seems more energetic-"
"Finish that sentence and I'm going to eliminate you right now before you even have the chance to see your girlfriend," Chris said flatly.
Geoff's eyes lit up. "Oh man, that's right! Bridgette's going to be here. Far out man!"
"Just let me do my intro," Chris sighed. "Wait, weren't there two other people on your Jeep?"
"Of course there were Chris," Topher smirked. "Your old age must be affecting your memory because I certainly remember who was on that jeep, and you probably don't."
"Wasn't hard," Leshawna mumbled. "Those two white girls fought the whole way here. Better check to make sure one of them ain't dead."
The back door of the Jeep opened up and a pale blonde girl stuck her head out. "Let me out Amy," she grunted. An arm reached out and grabbed her hair, pulling her back in. The door slammed shut, before opening again and a girl identical to the previous one, save for a mole on her cheek, was trying to get out.
"As if I'd ever let the camera see you before me, Sparemy," the girl who clearly wasn't Sparemy snapped. She tumbled out of the jeep and the other girl pounced on her. The two twins tumbled around in the dirt before looking up at Chris and the other cast members. Topher, Geoff, and Leshawna were looking at them with mild interest and annoyance.
"Everyone, meet Amy and Samey," Chris announced.
"It's Sammy, actually," the girl without the mole corrected. Amy just pushed her back down into the dirt and laughed.
"Girl what is your problem?" Leshawna asked Amy. "The whole car ride here you was actin' like a basic white bitch to everyone. And not just to yo' sister. You better clean up yo' act before we vote yo' ass out."
Amy began to sniffle. "You're right…it's just-" She shoved Samey down again as she started to get up. "-That's not my problem." She smirked and stood next to Topher. Leshawna just glared at her. Samey stood up again, relieved not to be pushed over, and frowned at her sister. Amy just stuck her tongue out at her.
"Man, that was harsh," Geoff whispered to Leshawna.
"Mhm," Leshawna agreed. "Guess she'll be an easy out though. As long as we can tell which one is which. Or we could just cut 'em both."
Another jeep was pulling up to replace the first one. The door opened and a petite blonde girl exited the vehicle. Her face was a bit flushed due to the heat, and the sweater and leggings were helping her. She walked peacefully over to the crowd. "Greetings friends, I will enjoy our time spent together as we bond over this competition and the inevitable pain that will be cast upon us by the vile host."
"Oh Dawn you're making me blush," Chris swooned mockingly.
"Fucking loser," Amy coughed. Dawn just frowned and went to stand next to Leshawna.
"Hello there," she said sweetly.
"Wassup girl?" Leshawna asked. "You sure you want to be out here in this heat with that sweater on?"
"I'm quite alright thank you. I don't foresee having any problems with the temperature here, but I appreciate your concern."
"No…problem," Leshawna said awkwardly, shifting away from the aura whisperer and toward Geoff.
"Next we have Scarlett!" Chris announced, making some of the contestants gasp. The redheaded evil maniac exited the car, her arms being held behind her back by two large security guards.
"Let go of me you C-average imbeciles!" Scarlett spat. "The terms of my parole promise me early release if I don't kill anyone, so don't make me lose my one shot at freedom!"
"So how's it going Scarlett?" Chris asked. "Enjoy your time in prison?"
"It's called a secure mental ward," Scarlett corrected, struggling with the guards a bit more. "I'd have escaped normal prison by now."
Chris shrugged. "Whatever. You guys are free to go," he said to the guards. "There was one more person in the Jeep with you right?" The guards shook their heads. "No? Hm, maybe he's on the next one."
Scarlett stood next to Amy, glaring at her as the blonde continuously poked Samey's ribcage. The guards left in their Jeep and another one quickly replaced it. Out of the passenger seat came a tall guy with an Elvis style haircut.
"Long-time veteran that hasn't seen some screen time for four seasons, Trent!" Chris cheered. Trent waved at the camera.
"Hey guys, it's great to be back," he said, smiling and fist-bumping Geoff.
"Trent my man!" Geoff hollered. "How you been dude?"
"Pretty sweet," Trent replied. "I've been trying to get the attention of some record labels, but the whole 'reality show fame' has kind of dried up. That's why I'm pumped for this season since I'll be getting my name back out there. Who knows, maybe I'll see Gwen again."
"Gwen won't be competing this season," Chris said. "She's probably too busy kissing Cameron's ear like they did in the All-Stars finale."
"You mean your worst-rated season ever?" Topher said, poking Chris's shoulder. The host with the most shoved him aside and got ready to introduce the next contestant. Trent went back to standing with Leshawna and Geoff, a little sadder now.
"Don't let him get you down man," Geoff said, putting a hand on Trent's shoulder. "You're doing your own thing here, Gwen's doing her own thing…wherever. It's all good."
"Please stop talking," Scarlett said in disgust, shaking her head. "Your words are like rat poison to any healthy brain cells."
Before Geoff could fire back a reply, the next contestant exited the Jeep. He was dressed in combat boots, shorts, and a tight green shirt that showed off his muscles. A pair of shiny dog-tags hung from around his neck.
"Greetings contestants!" He barked, giving them a salute and standing ramrod straight. A few contestants gave him awkward salutes while others just rolled their eyes.
"It's Brick, the pants-wetting, fashion-challenge cadet from Revenge of the Island!"
"He's also the number one choice for who should have been in All-Stars from the second generation," Topher added.
"Nobody cares Topher," Chris sighed. "Brick stand with the others, unless you've got someone you want to talk to that will make you interesting this season."
Brick just shrugged and stood next to Dawn. "Morning Cadet Dawn, how are you?"
Dawn giggled. "Quite excellent Brick, thank you. How was your drive here?"
"Pretty good," Brick said. "Yours?"
Dawn shifted uncomfortably. "I would have preferred a mode of transportation that was less hazardous for the environment," her expression darkened and then turned back to normal, "but that just can't be helped!"
"Right…" Brick said, getting uncomfortable. "Well it's good seeing you again."
"You too!" Dawn replied happily.
"Gosh why did I have to sit in the middle?!" The next contestant complained as he fell out of the backseat and got up, cracking his back and stretching. He was a scrawny, pale, ginger with glasses and a lame shirt with a hamburger on it. It was Harold.
"Because you're a loser!" Said the contestant after him. She was a slim preppy girl with dark skin and really tight pants. She shoved Harold aside and walked towards Chris. "There better be a good, legal explanation for why I'm here again." She said simply.
"Nice to see you too Courtney," Chris said, ignoring her request. "I'd tell you to go stand with the others, but you skipped over poor Harold over there."
"And that's a bad thing because…" Courtney asked, confused.
"Gosh Courtney, I deserve to be here just as much as you do," Harold said, walking over to Chris. He stretched his legs, grabbing a shoulder for support. Unfortunately he ended up grabbing Courtney's shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" She shrieked, backhanding the poor nerd. The others gasped as Harold hit the ground again.
"Oh hell to the no," Leshawna said, rolling up her already short enough sleeves. She stormed over to Courtney. "You did not just backhand my little, white sugar-baby. You did not just do that."
"I'm you…sugar-baby?" Harold asked from the ground. "Does that mean sugar-baby can have a hand getting back up?"
"Later," Leshawna said sternly. "I have to feed Miss CIT her knuckle-sandwich.
"I could take you on with my eyes shut," Courtney fired back, getting up in Leshawna's face.
"Hold my hoops!" Leshawna snapped, starting to take off her earrings. Chris immediately got between the two.
"I knew there was a reason we invited you both back," Chris said happily. "Now go stand over on opposite ends of the crowd."
Leshawna gave one last glare at Courtney. "Girl, you are going home first elimination, ya hear?"
Courtney laughed. "My lawyers and I reviewed the contract three times over. I know the theme of this season, and let me tell you, there is no way you and I will end up on the same team." She then added mockingly, "Ya hear?"
"We're halfway through our cast, and things are already heating up!" Chris said to the camera. Behind him, Leshawna had rolled up her sleeves and given her earrings to Harold. "We'll be right back after these messages!
After the commercials, a new Jeep had pulled up and the next contestants were arriving. The first one out of the Jeep was a chubby girl wearing a pink jumper and purple pants. A red bow was in her short brown hair.
"Hi everyone!" She said in a thick accent. "I'm back for my return season! My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather invented return seasons. Before him, reality shows never brought back any old contestants and people quickly lost interesting…ya."
"It's Staci, who is here for her hopefully short return season," Chris announced. "Staci, go stand with the others."
"My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great cousin invented standing with the others," Staci began, but she was cut off by the arrival of the next contestant.
"I don't want to go!" She whined, and Chris sighed. Chef walked over to the Jeep and forcefully pried her from the Jeep. "Please!" She begged. "At least tell me you invited Katie on too!"
"Hey Chris," Topher said. "Look, it's Sadie. One of the few contestants from season one to never return after eliminations or get her own confessional. Did you know that? Huh? Did you?!"
"You weren't as clingy last season," Chris observed, glaring at Topher. "But you're right, it's Sadie: Bona fide, big-boned, BFFFL." He winked at the camera. "Alliteration, keeps the ratings up." Sadie was now sobbing and hugging Chris by the knees. "Sadie come on, you're embarrassing yourself on international TV…again…for like the tenth time." It finally occurred to Sadie that she was actually on television and she ran to hide behind the nearest person, which happened to be Courtney.
"Get away from me," Courtney said rudely, pushing Sadie off of her.
"S-sorry Courtney," Sadie whimpered, walking over to Leshawna.
"Don't listen to here," Leshawna said firmly. "She's just sore from the doctors trying to remove the pole that's been up her butt for so long." Sadie and a few others laughed, causing Courtney to seethe.
"If you know what's good for you you'll take that back right away!" Courtney snapped.
"Make me," Leshawna said simply, cracking her knuckles. "I've been needing a reason to slap a hoe!"
"I am not a garden tool," Courtney said defiantly, turning away from Leshawna and folding her arms over her chest. "And I refuse to participate in a petty street brawl with the likes of you." Leshawna threw herself toward Courtney, but Geoff and Harold held her back.
"Did I come at a bad time, eh?" Someone asked. They all turned to see a familiar farm-boy walking out of the Jeep, only most were surprised that he had hair and wasn't foaming from the mouth.
"Is that…Ezekiel?" Sadie gasped. "But he's like…supposed to be all grody and stuff."
"Physical therapy, eh," Ezekiel said with a nervous chuckle. "Once they got me talking right they said things would go by pretty fast." His skin was still an unhealthy shade of green, and only a little bit of his hair had grown back. He was wearing his regular clothes, fortunately clean ones, as well as his old hat.
"What a touching story of recovery," Chris said in monotone sarcasm. "Once a freak, always a freak as I like to say. Now get with the others!"
"Yes sir, eh!" Ezekiel said excitedly, standing with the others.
"Can you not stand so close to me?" Amy asked. "I'm allergic to poor and gross."
"Sorry about that," Ezekiel said, shuffling away from her. "I know girls don't like gross stuff." The female competitors that were present glared at him. "Uh, but that doesn't mean they can't…and um…yeah."
"Heh, sexist jokes," Chris said with a creepy giggle. "Alright let me think, there should have been one more person in that Jeep with you three."
"Are ya ready for me?" The next contestant asked. "Yee-haw!" She ran out of the Jeep, jumping around and waving, before stopping abruptly in front of everyone. "Hey now, where's the paparazzi? And why is it so hot out here? Are we in Texas?"
"Yep," Chris replied, "except no. We're in Tanzania!"
The girl just titled her head to the side. "Where? Oh, is that the place where those skinny girls go and get those spray tans? Sugar doesn't need fake tans to win this pageant, she'll just use her good looks and ruthless competitive edge." She winked at Topher, making him gag, before glaring at the other contestants.
"Sugar you're clearly delusional," Chris sighed. "This is the next season of Total Drama. Whatever, just go stand with the others."
"Sure thang host man!" Sugar said, trying to do the tongue clicking thing, but failing. "Oh how do those city kids do it?"
The next Jeep had arrived. The next contestant was a scrawny Indian guy with his face mostly covered by a book. Chris opened his mouth to introduce him, but he was cut off by, "Yeah, I'm Noah, I don't want to be here. They already know that."
"Hmph," Chris said, pouting. "It's Noah, and he doesn't want to be here. What else is new? Next!"
Most of the contestants were surprised at how tall the next contestant was. Samey's face lit up upon seeing her only friend, and Amy just groaned. "Ew, it's her."
Jasmine frowned. "Well that's not much for a welcome now is it? Aren't you happy to see me?"
"I'm happy to see you!" Samey said excitedly, running over to Jasmine and hugging her. "It's been forever since I've seen you."
"It's nice to see you too," Jasmine said happily. "I suppose it has been a while, but hey, at least we're here now."
"Yes, yes, so great," Chris interrupted. "Next!" They waited a few seconds, but nobody came out of the Jeep. "I said next!"
"But it's so dusty out there!" Cried the person still inside the Jeep. "And I used up all of my hand sanitizer on the plane."
"Oh quit being a baby and get out!" Snapped another person in the Jeep. There was the sound of someone being shoved and Dave fell out of the Jeep, right into the dust.
"Ah!" He screamed. "Dust!" He ran away from the Jeep and toward Chris.
"Chef, please catch the deranged lunatic before he hurts himself," Chris said. "But if he's about to hurt someone else, let him, because that will be funny." Chef rolled his eyes and went to restrain Dave.
"You better be done introducing him," huffed the next person. "EVIL deserves a much longer introduction than he does." Max climbed out of the Jeep and walked over to Chris. His eyes found Scarlett and he glared at her. "I see you've removed your ban on EVIL!"
"Don't tempt me to reverse my decision," Chris grumbled. "Okay head count. One, two…nineteen of you so far. That leaves three left." The last Jeep was now pulling up.
"Where's Bridgette?" Geoff asked worriedly.
"Gee, with only one car left I wonder where she might be," Scarlett said sarcastically. Noah smirked and nodded.
The door to the Jeep opened and out stepped a large guy wearing a hoodie. He smiled and waved silently to the rest of the cast.
"B!" Dawn said happily. "I was wondering if you would be returning this season." He nodded and stood next to her.
"Uh, is there something wrong with him?" Amy asked. "Why doesn't he talk?!" B just glared at her.
"B chooses not to talk," Dawn said simply. "It's a personal thing." She then added. "That wasn't very nice of you."
"Bite me,' Amy said bluntly.
"I sense that you would enjoy that more than I," Dawn admitted, most likely not realizing what she implied.
"Burn!" Chris said. "Anyways, next contestant!"
"Entrance appeario!" The next contestant cried, before leaping out of the Jeep and throwing a small handful of confetti in the air. Leonard ran toward the rest of the cast, but ended up tripping over his robe and landed face-first in the dirt.
"Aw yeah!" Sugar cheered. "The wizard's here, now it's a party!"
"Does he really think it's a wizard?" Trent asked. "That's…weird."
"Where's Bridgette?!" Geoff cried.
"There is literally one contestant left to introduce," Scarlett snapped. "Where do you honestly think she is?"
Geoff thought for a moment. "I don't know!"
"I'm right here Geoff!" Bridgette said, running out of the Jeep and jumping into her boyfriend's arms.
"Bridgette!" Geoff cheered, kissing her. "I had no idea where you were!"
"Unbelievable," Scarlett muttered.
Bridgette and Geoff's reunion soon turned into a full blown make out session in front of everything. It was uncomfortable for all but two parties to say the least. Three if you count the creepy satisfaction Chris was getting from seeing it. When they finally separated to breathe, Chris continued.
"Alright, that's all twenty-two of you," he said. "Time to get started. First of all, welcome to Total Drama: Favorites vs. Not-Favorites!"
"Seriously?" Noah said. "That's your name for it?"
"Yes, it's perfect." Chris said defensively. "Anyway, as the name suggests, the Favorites will be competing against the Not-Favorites. To qualify for this season, you must never have made a final two in your history of the games. That applies to all of you, except Geoff, but the Ridonculous Race is just a lame spin-off so we won't count that. To be a Favorite you must either be well-liked by a decent chunk of the fanbase, or at the very least have been prominent in your seasons."
"Who are the Favorites?" Courtney asked. "Besides me obviously."
Chris rolled his eyes. "Favorites are Bridgette, Geoff, Trent, Leshawna-"
"Seriously?!" Courtney complained. "I thought she wasn't going to be on my team!"
"I never said that," Chris said. "-Jasmine, Courtney, Noah, Harold, Brick, and…Amy."
"What?!" A majority of the people said in surprise.
"Do you mean Samey?" Samey asked. "I know the names sound similar but…"
"Why can't you just accept I'm always going to be the better-liked one?" Amy asked.
"Actually it's because Samey started out being extremely well-liked, mostly out of pity," Chris explained. "Then as time passed and the fans got out of their 'Pahkitew Daze' they realized that Samey's just really pathetic and completely incapable of actually being likeable."
"That's harsh dude," Geoff said. The others nodded in agreement.
"Oh it gets better," Chris promised. "Once they realized Samey was just a loser, they admired Amy for her bluntness and she now has a cult following of wannabe mean girls and sexually frustrated pre-teens."
"Fans are fans," Amy said with a shrug. "The rest of the world just hasn't caught up to my level of thinking." She walked over to her team. "Looks like this time I'll be on the winning team."
"Girl nobody even likes you," Leshawna pointed out. "Getting put on this team just means you're elimination fodder."
Amy rolled her eyes. "Pfft, whatever."
Chris continued. "The rest of you are the Not Favorites. You are highly disliked by a large amount of the fanbase and/or weren't very prominent in your seasons. Topher there's some slight bias with you."
"Way to be a sloppy host by letting personal feelings affect your hosting," Topher said, giving him a fake thumbs up.
"Shut up Topher. The Not Favorites are Staci, Ezekiel, B, Samey, Scarlett, Max, Sugar, Leonard, Sadie, Dave and Topher. Now come on, let's get started on the tour."
The contestants followed Chris off of the savannah and into the compound of the resort. A large wooden fence surrounded the complex. There was a main lobby and administration building in the center of the resort. Off to the side was a restaurant area. Off to the sides of the resort were small bungalows, five of them a bright green and the other five a dull grey.
"This is the Vumbi Resort!" Chris announced. "Your place of dwelling for the duration of the season. You'll be staying in the bungalows of your current team. Favorites are the green." The Favorites symbol was a green circle with a dark green star in the middle. "Not Favorites are the yellow." The Not Favorites symbol was a yellow circle with a darker yellow X in the middle. "Originally I had this challenge planned where you all went crazy trying to kill each other over room keys, but I decided instead we'd just have you draw room keys out of a hat. Everybody gets one."
He passed around two hats, one for each team, and each contestant took out a room key. "Hopefully none of these are co-ed," Chris chuckled. "One of the bungalows will have three people in it, but the others should just have two. And hey, that's a motive to vote someone out am I right?" The contestants just glared at him. "Yeesh, tough crowd. Anyway, go to your bungalows and unpack. I'll let you know when I need you to meet at the main lodge." The contestants all started off. "Oh, and one more thing. Since this is a safari lodge, it's not uncommon for animals to get in and wander around. I'm sure nothing dangerous will get in, but just be careful. Or don't. Either way it's good TV." He laughed as the contestants scattered to explore the resort.
Noah tried his key on the first door he found, 1A, and was surprised that it was open. He was the first one in his bungalow, meaning he picked the biggest of the two rooms and began unpacking his bags. Whoever his roommate was, he was going to make sure to set some ground rules. After a few minutes of unpacking, the door to the bungalow was thrown open.
"Woo!" Geoff cheered, running up the stairs. "Whoever my roommate is be prepared to party all season- oh." He stopped in the doorway to Noah's room. "Sup Noah?"
Noah rolled his eyes. "Look, odds are anything I tell you you're going to ignore, but as my roommate I find it only fair that you try not to bother me and that if you're girlfriend comes around you do anything up your room. And only in your room."
Geoff scoffed. "Like Bridge and I would be stupid enough to do stuff in a place where we're being filmed. Besides, she's not like that. She's good."
"Right," Noah said sarcastically. "Let's just steer clear of one another and everything should be fine."
Geoff frowned, but nodded his head. "I guess that's only fair."
Confessional
Geoff: Man, Noah's really harsh this season. Wonder if everything's going okay with that girlfriend he got on the Race…
In Room 2A, Dawn and Jasmine were getting along peacefully, in the sense that they had barely run into one another upon arriving at the bungalow. Dawn had happily given Jasmine the bigger room (with taller ceilings). She preferred the smaller room anyway because its window faced out into the rest of the resort.
"Hello there," Dawn said happily, reaching out and petting a giraffe that was walking by. "Chris was telling the truth when he said there would be animals. Splendid!" Giraffes don't really make a lot of noise, but the giraffe leaned forward to whisper in Dawn's ear. "Really? You don't say!"
Jasmine knocked on the door frame to Dawn's room. "Excuse me," she said, "but are you talking to that giraffe?" Dawn nodded and resumed her conversation with the animal. "Like, it actually understands you and stuff?" Another nod. "That's amazing!"
The giraffe finished filling Dawn in on the latest giraffe gossip and left the window. "Thank you," Dawn replied kindly. "It's a talent I've had since I was born."
"So when you were on the show, all that aura reading was real?" Jasmine asked. Dawn nodded. "Incredible. I didn't believe any of it, but maybe you can show me sometime."
"I'm so glad I didn't get Courtney as a roommate," Harold said to Trent as he walked into Room 3A with him. "That would have been such bogus. She would have taken the bigger room and made me sleep on the floor."
"Well I am taking the bigger room," Trent pointed out, setting his stuff on the bed in the bigger room. "But I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor, I promise." Harold laughed. "And don't worry about Courtney, we can just vote her out the second she gets annoying, which already happened."
Harold grinned. "Sounds like a plan. I hope Leshawna didn't get stuck with her. Leshawna can totally handle herself, but a murder charge can really ruin your chance of becoming the Fan Favorite in these sorts of games."
"Don't worry about Leshawna either," Trent reassured him. "This team's so stacked we won't be worrying about the votes until the merge. And by then, the people like Courtney and Amy will have gotten so annoying, we can just all vote them out. Then the finale will be made of people who are actually cool."
"Sounds awesome," Harold said. "Well, I'm going to go unpack. See you later!"
Leshawna entered Room 4A to find that someone else was already in there. That was cool with her, as long as her roommate wasn't somebody she hated. She climbed up the stairs to the bedroom and walked into the big one. Her roommate turned around and they both dropped their bags in shock.
"Oh hell, to the no!" Leshawna snapped. "You are not my roommate. This better be some damn joke."
"You think I'm happy about it?" Amy asked, glaring at Leshawna. "I'm the prettiest one here, I should get my own room. It's bad enough my sister's going to be staying on this show, at least until she gets eliminated, but now I have to share a room with you?! Oh my gag!"
Leshawna slammed the door to Amy's room shut and stormed into her own room, which was much smaller. A giraffe passed by and stared at her for a few seconds, before hurrying down the line of windows.
Confessional
Leshawna: I know this bitch deserves it, but I guess it ain't a good idea to go pickin' fights the first day.
Leshawna knocked on Amy's door. "What do you want?!" Amy snapped from inside. Leshawna slowly opened the door. The cheerleader was taking clothes out of her suitcase and putting them in her closet.
"I wanted to say that I shouldn't have gotten all heated with you a few minutes ago," Leshawna admitted. "Neither of us need to be making enemies the first day."
Amy stared suspiciously at Leshawna for a few seconds. "Whatever, apology accepted I guess. Just stay out of my way and I won't have to vote you out the first chance I get."
"Sounds good to me," Leshawna said before leaving the room. Skinny little white bitch…
"Where are we going to sleep if there's three of us?" Courtney asked, looking at her two roommates in Room 5A. The bungalows had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a little family room with a TV and a sofa, and a balcony in the back. Courtney was sharing her room with Bridgette and Brick.
"You and I could share a room?" Bridgette suggested. "Brick can have the other room." Courtney frowned at the idea of not getting her own room.
"That won't be necessary ma'am," Brick said, shaking his head. "You two can have the rooms, I'll just sleep on the couch."
"Really?" Bridgette asked. "That's really nice of you. Well then Courtney and I will share a bathroom and you can have the other one. That only seems fair."
"Much obliged," Brick said, giving a salute. "I didn't pack too much, so I'll just keep my bags in the bathroom if that's alright with you two." There were no objections so Brick went upstairs.
"He seems nice," Bridgette offered.
Courtney rolled her eyes. "Yeah, he's a real gentleman.
Confessional
Courtney: I'm not buying into Brick's nice guy act. If he's a serious supporter of the military, then he probably knows how to be ruthless and has a take no prisoner's attitude. Like me, only less perfect. He'll be useful in challenges I'm sure.
Over on the other side of the resort, the two residents of Room 1B were pleased to have gotten one another as roommates.
"I love, love, love, love, love your jumper!" Sadie squealed, hugging Staci randomly. "It's pink and I love the color pink!"
"Same!" Staci said excitedly, returning the hug. "My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother Rose invented the color pink. Before then, the world was left without pink."
"No. Way." Sadie said in shock. "That's like, really bad. And like, totally not okay. I am so happy your whatever many great grandmother was alive. Pink is like, my life, almost. Pink and Katie."
Staci nodded. "It's sad, because my family doesn't get the credit they so deserve. That's why I go around telling everybody facts about my family so they get appreciated."
"Well I like, so appreciate your family now," Sadie promised. "What else did they do?"
"I'm glad you asked," Staci said with a smile.
Dave was whistling a merry tune and unpacking his clean luggage in Room 2B, when the door opened. He sighed. His roommate was here. Dave didn't particularly like anybody on his team, but there were definitely worse options for roommates than some people. Best case scenario, he got Samey who was at the very least hygienic. Worst case scenario, he got Sugar.
It ended up being neither when his roommate decided to introduce himself with an Apperio spell. Leonard seemed to be under the impression that he and Dave were sharing a room instead of them both taking separate ones.
"Seriously, there's an empty room down the hall," Dave said. "Just go be in the that one."
"We are Party Members now," Leonard said, waggling his finger. "We must bond and train together! That extra room can be our dungeon or our convoy for any artifacts we find during the game."
Dave sighed. "Whatever, but I demand you keep at least five feet away from me at all times."
"Hello?" Samey called out as she opened the door of Room 3B. "Is anybody there?" Samey was already dreading being on the team of Not Favorites, and she wasn't exactly excited to meet her roommate. Chris's words still stung, even if they were apparently true.
The bigger of the two rooms was empty, so Samey set her bags on the bed and went to see who was in the smaller room. Two suitcases had been opened and the clothes and items had been neatly packed away into the dresser and closet. A small laptop was sitting on the desk.
"What are you doing in here?!" Samey jumped and spun around to see Scarlett standing in the doorway. The evil genius had just exited the bathroom to find Samey in her room. "I gave you the larger of the two rooms as a formality, so unless you feel the need to take both, get out."
"S-sorry," Samey stuttered. "I just didn't know who my roommate was. Please don't hurt me." Scarlett continued to glare at her as she left the room.
"For future notice, please stay out of my room," Scarlett said simply. "Do that and I see no reason why we won't get along. Break that one rule and you won't like what happens to you. Got it?!"
"Yes," Samey squeaked, before running to her room and shutting the door. Scarlett smirked and went to sort out her things.
Confessional
Scarlett: I'm relieved to have gotten Samey, or Sammy since that's her real name, for my roommate. Could you imagine what would happen if Max had been my roommate? There would go my chance for parole. No, Samey will be a decent roommate, I'm sure of it.
Samey: So I'm back on the show with Amy again…great…but at least we're not on the same team. My roommate is Scarlett, which is totally terrifying, but at least she doesn't want to murder me…yet. I should just look on the bright side of things, right?
"Well little man, looks like you got the best room in the whole dang resort," Sugar said gleefully, putting her arm around Max and nearly choking him. She had entered Room 4B to find the tiny gnome man was her roommate. "Sugar's gonna be the best roommate you've ever had."
"Can't...take…EVIL breaths," Max gasped. Sugar released him and pranced upstairs. He followed her and watched as she took his bags out of the largest room and threw them out into the hall.
"A pageant queen needs her beauty rest," Sugar explained.
Max ran to the smaller room and put his bags in. This room was smaller and had one less window. "Hm…perhaps this will be a great spot for my new EVIL lair!" He rubbed his hands together mischievously. "And with that oaf as my newest minion, I'll be undefeatable! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Keep it down will ya?!" Sugar snapped from her room, throwing a shoe across the hall and hitting Max in the back of the head.
Room 5B was the last bungalow in the resort. Topher had gotten there first, eager to criticize Chris for his choice in accommodations. Instead he was surprised that the bungalows were actually nice. He took the largest room and chilled on the couch, waiting for his roommates to show up.
The first one was B, who gave a small wave to Topher. Ezekiel followed quickly, following B upstairs to check out the rooms.
"Um, is it cool if I take the bed?" Ezekiel asked. "My therapist says I need to get adjusted to doing human activities, like sleeping in beds." B nodded in understanding and set his luggage in the corner. He'd have to go see Topher about his sleeping arrangement.
"You want to sleep in my bed?" Topher guessed upon seeing B's gestures. "Look man, I totally get that, I mean who wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed as this?" B face palmed as Topher gestured to himself. "But the Topher is strictly off limits until he becomes a host." B sighed and pulled Topher into his room and gestured to the floor. "Oh…you want to sleep on the floor in my room?" B nodded. "Well yeah, sure. That's a bit creepy, but anything for a fan." B just rolled his eyes as Topher went back downstairs.
After everyone was situated, Chris's voice came over the intercom and asked that they all come to the main lodge for lunch. The contestants all met up and found a fancy buffet had been set up for them. They ate with their teams and made small-talk.
"Do your sleeping conditions suit you my love?" Harold asked, scooting closer to Leshawna. Leshawna rolled her eyes, but smiled.
"They could be better," she side-glared Amy, who side-glared back, "but they're better than they've been in other seasons."
"Chris is certainly spending a lot of money this season," Courtney mused. "You should all thank me because my lawyers probably have something to do with it." Nobody thanked her.
Bridgette and Geoff were passionately making out at the far end of the table, much to the disgust of most of the people that witnessed it.
"Did they learn anything from Action?" Trent joked. The others laughed and some of them shook their heads when they saw Bridgette and Geoff, not that the two of them noticed.
Dawn held Jasmine's hand in hers and closed her eyes. "Hm…your aura is a soft pink. You're thinking of somebody you love. Is it that Shawn boy?"
Jasmine's cheeks flushed. "Yeah, I'm a little sad he didn't get picked to come back, even if he did win last time."
"I'm sure Shawn's cheering for you at home," Dawn said, patting Jasmine's hand. "I'm happy to be on the same team as one of my friends for Revenge of the Island, and I'm a bit sad that B is on the other team. But such is fate."
Brick looked over at Noah, who wasn't eating and was instead flipping through his book. "You need to keep your strength up soldier. We can't afford to lose this challenge on account of an empty stomach."
Noah looked over at him. "Not hungry, sorry. And I doubt one empty stomach is going to lose us this challenge."
Brick frowned. "You should still eat something."
"Meh, maybe later."
"We never get stuff like this back on the farm," Sugar said, shoveling shrimp and cocktail sauce into her mouth. "I love these little ocean worms!"
"Shrimp are not EVIL enough for my taste," Max said. "Ooh, pudding!"
Dave slumped his head against the table. To his left was Leonard, who was trying to transfigure his glass of orange juice into a phoenix to be his companion animal. On his right was Scarlett, who was cutting up pieces of ham and eating like a normal person…surprisingly. "Hey," he said. Scarlett ignored him. "Okay then."
Scarlett was more interested in the person on her right and across from her. Staci was chatting about her relatives to Sadie and Samey, who seemed to be listening to her mostly out of politeness instead of actual interest.
"My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather Horace invented buffets," Staci said happily. "Before then, people had no concept of portion control."
Within an hour of being Staci's roommate, Sadie realized that Staci was probably not being truthful about most of the things she was saying.
Confessional
Sadie: I feel so bad for people like Staci who have no friends. She probably tells all those lies because she wants people to think she's, like, interesting. Oh my gosh, I should so like, be her friend so she stops lying! OMG that's such a good idea. Katie I hope you're like, proud of me!
Scarlett: What is it with this show just handing me morons to take advantage of. I have a whole team of them this season! And if you think for one second I'm not going to try and take advantage of every single one of them, then you should just stop watching.
"Hey man, watch this," Topher said, elbowing Ezekiel and showing him the clump of mashed potatoes that was resting on the handle of his spoon. "These potatoes are going to go all over Scarlett's face."
"Won't that make her mad?" Zeke asked.
"Yeah, it'll cause drama!" Topher said excitedly. "Besides, Scarlett's crazy anyway."
"I'm right here," Scarlett said with an eye roll. "And if you hit me with potatoes I'll…" Her voice trailed off as she realized she couldn't cause Topher any bodily harm without violating the terms of her parole. "Never mind."
"I'll take that as a go," Topher laughed, slamming his fist down on the other end of the spoon and sending the potatoes flying. The clump of food was intercepted by a saltine cracker and landed harmlessly on Sugar's plate. The farm girl picked up the cracker and ate it. Topher, Ezekiel, and Scarlett turned to see the source of the cracker. B had constructed a catapult from several pieces of silverware, a soup bowl, a plate, and a napkin.
"Impressive," Scarlett noted, switching spots with Samey to get a better look at the catapult. "Although for maximum efficiency I recommend tightening the napkin, removing the knife, and firing at this angle. Voila!" A packet of crackers flew across the table and hit Topher in the face. B and Scarlett laughed at the result.
A few minutes later, Chris entered the dining area with Chef. "I hope you all got settled in and ate something," the host said. "Because in just a few short minutes, we'll be starting our first challenge!"
Team Favorites: Amy, Brick, Bridgette, Courtney, Dawn, Geoff, Harold, Jasmine, Leshawna, Noah, Trent
Team Not Favorites: B, Dave, Ezekiel, Leonard, Max, Sadie, Samey, Scarlett, Staci, Sugar, Topher
Eliminated: None