Greek Mythology 101

Matteo: clears throat Cherry Blossom does not own and never will own any part of Dragonball Z. So please do not make with the lawyers and the phone calls and the big black suitcases. Thank you. bows

Walks off the stage muttering Baka onna can't write a story with me in it so she makes me do the disclaimer for this stupid story that doesn't even mention me grumble, grumble, grumble…

Greek Mythology 101

Gohan yawned and looked at his watch. 11:30. Time for sleepy saiyajins like him to be in bed. Gohan sighed and turned his attention back to the open book of Greek Mythology. He had a huge test tomorrow and he still didn't understand half the legends he was supposed to learn. Pouring himself another cup of coffee, Gohan started to read the next legend…

Bulma of Chikyuu—the face that launched a thousand space pods.

Goku was getting married and all important inhabitants of the next dimension were invited to the wedding banquet. Except someone had forgotten to send an invitation to Piccolo. Needles to say, Piccolo was a little pissed and decided to get even with everybody for not being invited. During the feast he suddenly appeared and threw a golden apple into the middle of the banquet table. The apple was marked "For the strongest."

Naturally each of the warriors at the party thought the apple was for him. King Kai grabbed the apple first, while Captain Ginyu and Freezer protested. A quarrel broke out. Each of the three claimed the apple. Finally, King Yamma was asked to be the judge. But King Yamma did not wish to become caught up in the fight. So he chose a young warrior named Yamucha to make the decision. So King Kai, Captain Ginyu and Freezer all went off to pester Yamucha.

When the three found Yamucha they tried to bribe him with gifts. King Kai promised to make him the funniest man in the world. Captain Ginyu offered him the power to become a great ruler. Freezer offered him the love of the most beautiful woman in the world. Yamucha thought that he was already pretty funny. He also didn't think much of the idea of becoming a great ruler. But the last offer intrigued him and since he was a ladies man he chose Freezer's gift and gave him the golden apple. Naturally the other two were angry and swore that someday they would get revenge on Yamucha.

Meanwhile years passed and went on a journey to the planet Vejitasei. There he met and fell in love with Bulma, the most beautiful woman in the world. Freezer kept his promise. He arranged for Bulma to fall in love with Yamucha. Unfortunately, Bulma was already married to Vegeta, the Prince of Vejitasei. But Yamucha would not let a little thing like that stand in his way. When Vegeta went off on a journey to Arlia, Yamucha kidnapped Bulma and took her back to the planet Chikyuu.

Now, when Vegeta had married Bulma, King Yamma had made all the warriors of Vejitisei vow to protect the couple. So all the warriors of Vejitasei gathered to join Vegeta in a war against Chikyuu. Among those who went to fight the people of Chikyuu were the great generals Radditz and Nappa. They invaded in 1,000 large space ships led by Vegeta. After many hardships and technical problems with the toilets on the spaceships, the Saiyajins reached Chikyuu.

And so began the legendary Cikyuuan War. It lasted 10 years, until the planet was almost completely destroyed and Bulma was taken safely back to Vejitasei.

Gohan blinked his eyes slowly. He must have fallen asleep while studying. He looked at the clock. It was now 12:30 am. He yawned hugely before turning the next page. He just had to get this chapter done before the test…

The Legend of the Golden Gi

Among the ancient rulers was a king named Radditz, whose kingdom was in Vejitasei. Radditz had taken the throne away from his brother Goku, who was then forced into exile. Goku had a son named Gohan who vowed that he would return one day to Vejitasei and reclaim his father's throne.

At the age of 20, Gohan traveled to Vejitasei to fulfill his vow, Gohan was a tall and handsome man, with short black hair. On his way to Vejitasei, Gohan encountered an old woman standing by the edge of a fast running stream. "Please," begged the woman of Gohan, "please help me to cross the river young man." Because Gohan was a kind and considerate boy and had had manners drummed into him at an early age by his mother, Chi Chi, Gohan agreed to carry the old woman across the river and lost one of his shoes in the process. As soon as they got to the other side of the river the old woman transformed into a beautiful lady. "I am Princess Snake. Do not be alarmed. I will reward you for your kindness. Whenever you have need of my services, call my name and I shall help." Gohan thanked the Princess for her offer and continued on his way to the kingdom of Vejitasei. When he finally arrived there King Radditz saw that he had only one sandal and was pale with fright. Years before a prophet had told him, "Beware the man who comes into your kingdom with one sandal and one foot bare." Radditz was even more troubled when Gohan told him who he was and boldly announced, "I have come to claim this kingdom for I am the rightful heir to the throne."

Radditz was a sly old schemer. He did not try to kill Gohan. Instead he invited Gohan to his palace and entertained him with a great feast. But all the while he was thinking of a way to get rid of the young man. Finally he thought of a plan. When he had gained the young man's confidence, Radditz told him, "You shall have the kingdom just as you wish. But first I ask you to perform one brave deed. You must bring back to Golden Gi."

All Saiyajins of that time knew the story of the great warrior Piccolo who had worn the Golden Gi. Kami had sent Piccolo, who had the power to fly, to rescue Prince Trunks and Princess Bra. Piccolo flew them to a land called Namek. On the way Piccolo dropped Princess Bra and she fell into the sea and drowned, but the young Prince Trunks arrived safely in Namek. He killed Piccolo for dropping his sister and gave the Golden Gi he wore to Guru to keep as a gift. Since then the Golden Gi has been kept in a sacred grove guarded by a mystical dragon that never sleeps. Every warrior has dreamt of going across the seas to bring back the Golden Gi.

Just as Radditz hoped, Gohan eagerly offered to attempt the task. The crafty old king laughed to himself. He was sure Gohan would not survive the dangerous journey. Meanwhile, Gohan sent out a call for courageous young warriors to join him on his journey. Many volunteered. They included Goten, the strong man, Dende, the mystic, and Pan, the poet. Gohan had a large space ship built to take them to Namek. It was called Gero (after it's builder) and the men who sailed in it were called the Geronauts.

Gohan blinked his eyes for the second time. I gotta quit falling asleep or I'll never get through this stupid story. Gohan went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and then poured himself another cup of coffe. It was going to be a long night…

Ahhh! This suxs! You know what? I'm gonna post it anyway just so I can get some damn flames! Nya nya nya nya nya.