This is a follow-up to "Plan of Attack"

It's Alexander's turn to distract one beleaguered general.

And the usual mumbo jumbo...I do not own the characters, the movie, or anything else for that matter. I'm still trying to get Hephaestion to move in with me, and bring Alexander along, too! So far...no luck. :(

Rating: K+

Hephaestion sat back in his chair and stretched his sore back, hearing a loud 'crack' as his body protested the movement. "Ouch" he mumbled. His neck and shoulders felt like they were made of lead. His eyes were so tired they wanted to cross, and his butt was numb from sitting in his damned chair.

With a sigh, he leaned forward and thumped his head on the desk.

He heard an answering "thump, thump, thump" and looked up to see Peritas wagging his heavy tail against the floor. The shaggy dog gazed at him adoringly, his tongue lolling to one side.

Hephaestion laughed at his goofy expression. "Yes, Peritas, I see you." The dog stood and laid his head in Hephaestion's lap. Hephaestion scratched his floppy ears and the dog sighed with pure bliss. "You are good company, Peritas. And you made me smile. Thank you my friend. I am glad Alexander left you here with me."

He turned his attention back to the desk. Ugh. It was piled up with scrolls and parchments. There were inventory issues to address for the army, correspondence that needed to be done, personal letters he needed to write, plus he needed to formally draw up the battle plans they had finally agreed on. He had been working on this stuff for several hours already and saw no end in sight. He picked up one of the parchments that he was finished with, wadded it into a ball and tossed it across the room. Peritas ran after it, and then happily shredded the offending item. Hephaestion wished he could give all of it to Peritas to shred.

Sighing heavily, he picked up his stylus and got back to work.

After what seemed like an eternity, he sat back and yawned. Gods, this was exhausting. He didn't think even being in battle made him this tired. It was just so tedious, and he had to think entirely too much. He groaned and laid his head down on the desk on his crossed arms. "Please let this stuff all be gone when I open my eyes" he thought.

Peritas barked happily and ran towards the door. He jumped up excitedly, nearly knocking a laughing Alexander off his feet. "Hello Peritas. I am glad to see you, too." He ruffled the dog's silky head. "Go and sit, and be a good boy." Peritas trotted back to where Hephaestion sat and curled up next to his chair.

Alexander was in a great mood. He had slept in this morning, had a nice breakfast and a warm bath, and just felt fantastic in general. "Joy to you, Hephaestion!" he chirped as he entered the room.

Hephaestion muttered something unintelligible, his head still buried in his arms on the desk.

"Are you okay, Phai?"

More unintelligible sounds.

Alexander studied his best friend for a moment. "Phai, I did not understand anything that you said. Are you okay?"

Hephaestion raised his head and frowned at Alexander. "I said yes. I am just fine. If you would kindly kill me, I would be even better." He dropped his head back down on the desk.

Alexander chuckled softly. Poor Hephaestion. He decided he needed to cheer him up.

"Come on, it is a beautiful day. Why don't we go and do something fun?"

Hephaestion sat up and looked at Alexander like he had two heads or something. "Alexander, do you not see the piles of work on my desk? Are you not the one who wanted the battle plans drawn up by tomorrow? And are you not also the one who needed the supply inventory updated so we can see what we need? You want to march soon, and therefore all these things need to be attended to first. I do not have time to go and play."

Alexander thought maybe he would take a different approach. "Okay, Phai. What if I said I had something more important for you to do?"

Hephaestion eyed him skeptically. "And that would be…?"

"Oh, several things actually." He walked to the desk, took his hand and swept a pile of parchments off onto the floor, then hopped up and sat on the desk in front of Hephaestion.

Hephaestion stared at him, wide-eyed. "Alexander! I need those!" He reached down just in time to snatch them from Peritas the paper shredder. "What do you think you are doing?"

Alexander put on his best look of authority. "General Amyntoros, your King needs your attention at once!"

Hephaestion groaned inwardly. This was not going to be good.

"Yes, my king. What is it you require?"

"I have something that needs your immediate attention…" he took Hephaestion's hand and placed it on his lap, pressing against it suggestively.

Hephaestion shook his head in disbelief. "You are unbelievable, Alexander! Now? All of this work that I have to do….for YOU, I might add…and you want to fool around?"

"Oh, come on Hephaestion. You cannot refuse your king, now can you?" He leaned forward and whispered in Hephaestion's ear. "Come on, I'll let you play with my scepter."

"Alexander….."

"I'll let you roll my scroll? Hold my staff? Sheath my sword?" He winked at Hephaestion. "Should I think of more?"

"Gods, no, please don't."

Alexander slid off the desk and straddled Hephaestion's lap. "Why don't I just sit here a bit and see what comes up?" He grinned wickedly and wiggled his hips.

"Sweet Aphrodite, Alexander! How old are you? 12?" Hephaestion groaned, partially out of annoyance, but also because something was actually starting to come up. Damn it. He never could resist Alexander when he was in a playful mood, but he didn't want to admit that.

Fine, he thought, two can play this game.

"Okay, Alexander. Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I need to dip my stylus after all. You are making it rather hard to work" He punctuated that word with a upward thrust of his hips.

Alexander shivered and grinned like a fool. "Oooh…I like the sound of that. Dip away, my love!"

Hephaestion growled. "Damn you, Alexander! I give up. You win!" He lifted Alexander off his lap and plopped his ass unceremoniously down on the desk. With both hands, he flung everything off the desk onto the floor.

"Peritas? Down! Stay!" The dog lay down obediently, but was obviously disappointed that he couldn't start shredding.

Hephaestion placed his hands on the desk on either side of Alexander and pressed him back. "You are a giant pain in the ass, Alexander. You drive me insane. And yet I love you beyond words, though I cannot for the life of me tell you why!" He stood between Alexander's knees, grasping his hips, pulling him forward and rubbing against him. "Kiss me." he demanded.

Alexander wrapped his arms around Hephaestion's neck and pulled him in for passionate kiss, attacking his mouth vigorously.

Hephaestion pulled away, panting. "By Zeus, Alexander, what in Hades am I going to do with you?"

Alexander grinned and whispered a few lewd suggestions in his ear.

Hephaestion smiled. "I can do that."

After much kissing, groping, fumbling with clothing and shifting positions, Hephaestion took Alexander right there on the desk.

Afterwards, they pulled apart and readjusted their clothes as they let their breathing return to normal.

Hephaestion pulled Alexander into in embrace and simply held him. "Thank you, Alexander."

Alexander looked into the blue eyes and flushed face of his lover. "For what, Phai?"

"For distracting me. I feel much better now. And my neck doesn't hurt any more!" He kissed him gently. "You were wonderful."

"I love you, Phai. Now that you are better, I will let you get back to work. Come see me this evening after supper. I may have something else for you to do!" He winked as he turned and walked out.

Hephaestion sat back in his chair with his hands behind his head and his feet propped up on the desk. He looked at a pile of correspondence on the floor that he really hadn't wanted to answer to begin with. He picked up a new parchment and his stylus and decided to work on mapping out their battle plan. Screw the letters.

He kicked the stack of papers in Peritas' direction. "Shred away, boy!" Peritas happily obliged.

Hephaestion smiled as he worked. The day had taken a turn for the better, and he was looking forward to whatever assignment Alexander would give him tonight. He laughed to himself. "I think I will be 'up' to the task."