Lives of the People
Story 1: Stupid Masochistic Game!
Don't flame and please R and R!
Mario took a challenge to try and beat "I Wanna Be The Guy". Luigi gave him this challenge, and if Mario won, Luigi would bomb Bowser's castle.
And so Mario started the game.
He got killed by the first spike wall, speeding at his character making him explode into pieces.
Mario: Mama-mia.
The screen said:
"GAME OVER"
"PRESS R TO RESTART"
And he did.
Mario: All right. Spikes! I'm going this way.
The spike wall didn't reach him when he ran to the corner.
Mario: There we go.
As the spike wall backed up, Mario followed it.
Mario: Alright. Come on. Move it along.
He goes to a lower floor, and then the second spike wall killed him, but this time it was the other direction.
Mario: Darn. Mama-mia...
He pressed R again.
Mario: Alright, should've saw that coming.
He passes both spike walls, but this time two spike walls on his floor and the one above him killed him.
Mario: OH, MY GOSH!
A/N: Everytime he presses R, I'll place "R" on it.
"R"
He follows the spike wall as it backed up once more.
Mario: I'm gonna be here all day...
The second spike wall failed to kill him again.
Mario: All right...
Then he accidentally touched the wall!
Mario: OH, MY GOSH, NO! I TOUCHED IT!
"R"
He finally passed all spike walls and he reached the next floor, which is COMPLETELY filled with spikes with one moving, but Mario didn't notice the moving spike.
Mario: HOLY MOLY, WHAT THE HECK? WHAT THE HECK DO I DO THERE?
"R"
He passed them all again and failed to get past the spike-filled room again.
Mario: That's impossible. It is just impossible. YOU CAN'T EVEN GET OVER THERE!
"R"
This time he goes above the spike-wall room and there were trees with apples. He tries to get past it but a apple crushes his character.
Mario: WHAT THE HECK?
"R"
Mario: How are you supposed to get up there? OH, MY...GOSH.
He dodges a apple by moving towards it and as soon as it falls, he moves back.
Mario: The whole thing is just garbage!
He tries to get past the two apples and failed.
Mario: YOU STUPID DOPE!
"R"
He tries to dodge the apples and does a more successful job.
Mario: Stupid apples. Stupid apples, I spent 20 MINUTES downstairs getting murdered by spikes, and IT REALLY IS IMPOSSIBLE!
He gets crushed by two apples.
Mario: AND THEN THOSE STUPID APPLES START CRUSHING ME, EXPLODING MY CORPSE INTO A THOUSAND PIECES LIKE HAND GRENADES!
He died again while he was ranting.
"R"
AGAIN, he tries again.
Mario: I...I'M GETTING SMASHED BY IT! I'M GETTING SMASHED BY FRUIT! IT'S A FRUIT SMASHER!
Mario: Duh, look at those apples, look at those apples, WAH, THEY CRUSHED YOU!
Mario: Go. Go! Darn!
He died again.
"R"
He tried again and a apple flew up, killing him.
Mario: THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T GO OUTSIDE, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS! CURSE YOU, NATURE!
"R"
Mario tried again and dodges all of the apples, including the ones that fly up.
Mario: Go! There you go.
There was one more left but it falls down.
Mario: It goes down? IT GOES DOWN?
He shoots the save point.
*Unseen death*
"R"
Mario: Mess your face off, apples. How do you like them...APPLES? There you go. NOW WE'RE MOVING!
He dodged all the apples and moved on to the next room, with clouds and spikes.
He jumped off the first one, but the next one goes down and he tries to jump to the third one, but fails.
Mario: Oops.
"R"
Mario: Come on. Double jump. Press "Shift" key twice. Why make the jump button "Shift"? That doesn't make sense. Why not make it the "Up Arrow" key or the "Spacebar?" I mean...WHY?
The third one goes up, and he jumps up and he touches the spike, dying.
Mario: I just touched the spike. That was just suicide.
"R"
He tried to shoot the save point through the spikes and accidentally falls into the spikes.
Mario: Why me? Why, why?
"R"
Mario: Why do I have to hit the "R" key? I don't get it! And "Shift" is everything else!
He died again.
Mario: Oh, my gosh, NO!
"R"
Mario: It does everything else. And by "everything" I mean "jump". This is the only thing you do in this game. Other than running.
He died again.
"R"
Mario: Okay, you can't even get up there. And every time you die, hit that "R" key just to make you angry. You have to move your hand and move it across the keyboard to hit it.
He died while talking.
"R"
Mario: You can't get up there. You can't get up there. It's impossible.
He died.
Mario: NO, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!
"R"
He died again.
"R"
He died AGAIN.
Mario: Oh, my gosh, no.
"R"
Mario: ON THE CLOUDS, NOT IN BETWEEN!
He spent too much time on the third cloud, killing him.
Mario: Oh, my gosh...
"R"
He goes to the cloud in the corner and it moves up.
Mario: Oh, you have to go around it.
He falls through the cloud and dies.
Mario: NO!
"R"
He did that same strategy with the cloud in the corner.
Mario: You have to go around. You can't get up top. It's like the first room all over again. I've done two rooms and they drove me mad.
Then he hit the side of the spike and died.
Mario: Oh, my gosh, I hit the side of the spike? I HIT THE SIDE OF IT?
"R"
Mario: Get...the...heck...up there...you stupid...idiot.
He finally made it but a spike wall crushes him from above.
Mario: Thank yo-WHAT THE HECK?
"R"
He tried again and he tried to dodge the wall but fails.
"R"
Mario: How the- MMM!
He then died again.
"R"
Mario: Dude, I hit the cloud because it went up, but I FELL THROUGH IT! Lose some weight, tubs!
He died again.
"R"
Mario: You won't get up there, you stupid moron! No wonder you wanna be the Guy, because you're stupid!
He died again.
"R"
He tried to send the trap down without killing him.
Mario: Where's the stupid trap?
Then it fell down.
Mario: Yeah, you're an idiot! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
He shot the save point.
Mario: Thank goodness.
He made it to the next room, with no path shown to get past the spikes.
Mario: Is there invisible platforms or something?
There was.
Mario: Yup! Yup!
But he fell into the spikes below.
"R"
Mario: This is gonna be great! That's it! I swear, I swear. That is it.
He failed again.
Mario finally loses it.
Mario: NO! NO! NO! INDIANA JONES DIDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IN "THE LAST CRUSADE"! HE DIDN'T WALK IN THE BRIDGE AND GO "WHOOOOP"! THE BRIDGE DISAPPEARS, I DON'T KNOW! YOU IDIOT, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, GAME OVER, I HATE YOU!
Mario grabs a hammer.
Mario: DIE, LUIGI!
Banging and Luigi screaming was heard.
THE END
I'll bring the next story up soon. And don't worry, Luigi's okay.