Listen, hon, I don't want to say I told you so, but…I told you so. I know you want Craig to say he loves you. I know. But maybe he can't. I'm not saying he loves you. I don't know. But maybe he does love you and it's hard for him to say it, to just say it.
You know what, hon? Ignorance was bliss. Truly. Ever since that whole thing with Dean I understand that there's more to some people than they let on. Things are under the surface. People pretend to be happy and to be fine and that's all it is, pretending. Ash, you don't really get that. Now, I'm not trying to be mean. It's the truth, and the truth is sort of mean. But it's a good thing. You've never been emotionally destroyed. Why would you want that? But just because things are pretty much black and white with you doesn't mean it's that way with everyone. Like me. You know I love Spin to death. He's totally my honeybee. But when we're doing stuff, you know, I just get all frozen. And that totally sucks since Spin had nothing to do with the whole Dean thing, and he's nothing like him, but I can't help it. Did you ever think a similar thing is going on with Craig? Maybe he loves you, but maybe love has hurt him beyond words in the past and now it's hard for him to confess his feelings to you. Maybe he's had to protect those feelings for so long that he can't just be open about everything.
Like when his dad died, you know? I know what you would have done, what I would have done. We would have been so sad, crying and thinking about how we'll miss our dad and all of that. But for Craig it wasn't so simple. Part of him hated his dad. Part of him wanted his dad to be gone. Then there was the other part that loved him and needed him just like any other kid. So he dies and what does Craig do? He pretends that everything was fine, which was weird for the rest of us to watch. He was making jokes and coming to school and going to that dance. Then he lost it, which made sense.
Ash, hon, you've got to stop pushing him. He was abused by his dad, someone who was supposed to love him, who did love him. His mom died when he was younger, like 11 or 12 or something. Love hasn't been that easy for him. Maybe he's afraid you'll hurt him, too, and you probably will. Love hurts. Relationships hurt. Emotions are just painful. Hard to deal with. But harder when you've been through something…unfair. When people have really hurt you, physically and emotionally. When there was nothing you could do to stop it. When you said no and it didn't matter.
You'll lose him this way. You've got to give him space. I can see how you're just pushing him away. And do you see Manny? She's got her evil little eye on him and she'll get him at this rate.
So, yeah. Take my advice, hon. For what it's worth. He'll say he loves you when he feels safe enough to say it. I mean, he bought you a dozen roses. He's always carrying your books for you and hanging around you and calling you. You've got to look at his actions. You've got to see beyond words sometimes, see beyond fear. Let people heal from things that have devastated them.
Go to school tomorrow and hug him and tell him you're sorry. You totally overreacted. I saw him stalk back in here and grab his camera and leave. He looked like he was almost going to cry. Poor Craig. I totally get it.
Like me, I have to work on stuff, too. I have to realize that Spin isn't Dean when he's kissing me and touching me. I have to try and come to terms with all the shit. That's what Craig is probably doing, too. He's trying to come to terms with his parents and all the shit they put him through. Give him a break.
Yeah, I get Craig now. I see how he hides things, how he pretends he's fine when he's not because I do that, too. It's all you can do sometimes. Because sometimes things hurt so much you don't know how you can stand it, and ignoring it works pretty well.
Come here. Give me a hug. Don't worry, hon. Things will work out. It'll all be fine tomorrow. I know it will.