Written for the Lyric Inspired Drabble Challenge, for Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble, for the lyric:
Once upon time A few mistakes ago I was in your sights.
Also written for the A-Z Competition, for U - Unrequited.
Words: 532
For those who want a sense of the chronology of this collection, this is set in early 7th Year.
U is for Unrequited
Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, I was in your sights. I remember it like it was yesterday. You would flutter your eyelashes up at me, and I'd turn the other way. It was always a game with you and me, wasn't it? Trying to work out which of us would cave first. I was the game you loved to play, back then, but I had my eyes on other prizes. I played along as a good friend would, but something told me it always meant more to you. I was carefree and easy. You were in love.
When we were even younger, I'd make a crude joke and you'd come back with a witty retort. I thought you were going to be the one. The one I fell for; the one who saved me. But that was before I grew up, realised childhood crushes were nothing more than that, and found other skirts to follow.
We were always friends, you and I, but we kept everyone amused. They said we'd shag each other senseless one day and get it all over and done with.
And then I found other girls, glorious girls, and other jokes to make. You found the Ravenclaw. Don't get me wrong, he was nice and everything, but the Marlene McKinnon I knew could do so much better. She could have had me. He was weak; he was a boy. He caved to your every whim, and grew bored when he asked for nothing in return, and you gave him what he asked for.
That ended badly for you, as I imagined it would. When you needed a shoulder to cry on at three o'clock in the morning, I was there. You came to rely on me, and I didn't mind that. I took it in my stride, because I wanted to see you happy again. But then that trust you felt began to grow to something more for you, didn't it? You began to see me as more than a friend, more than a shoulder. You wanted me to be your everything. I didn't see. Or at least, I told myself I didn't see. I tuned it out. It was complicated, messy, and more than I wanted to deal with.
I ran the other way, headlong, for miles. I didn't do commitment; I didn't make promises. We could have had something special, dammit, and I couldn't bring myself to risk that happening. I didn't want to break your heart. And that's all I leave behind me, every time. Tire tracks and broken hearts.
I couldn't do that to you.
You didn't understand, of course. That broke your heart anyway. Maybe one day you'll get it.
I think you hate me now. I think you see me as the one who played with your heart and left it in the dirt. I never meant to do that. I wasn't that guy, Marlene; I was your friend. Your fucked-up, unthinking, idiot of a friend.
Marlene, you're the girl I should have had. We're the couple that should have been.
But I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry.
I hope, one day, you'll be able to accept that apology.