Hell or Heaven?
Prologue
"I now introduce our new head boy and girl: Mr. Potter and Miss Evans", declared Dumbledore to the Great Hall. It's been now 5 years that I was in this school. At the beginning, my parents didn't want me to leave , so I went in a small school of wizardry near my house. When my father died, I was only twelve and my mother had to send me here, in the biggest school of witchcraft and wizardry in Scotland, for my own safety. I never had many friends here. When I first came here, people wanted to know me, such as James Potter and his famous group of Marauders for example. Then I made the biggest mistake of my life in the middle of my first year in this castle, therefore in third year. I dated Lucius Malfoy, who only wanted to shag me. And then, my life has messed up, the girls were against me and treated me like a bitch whereas boys didn't say anything, they just thought that everything was my own fault even if they didn't even know what happened. That same year, my mother who remarried a man of the name of Richard Levin, died. Richard took my responsibility, but then which responsibility. He didn't do anything, just beat the shit out of me, it was a pleasure for him. Each time I returned from the holidays, I had bruises everywhere, but nobody seemed to notice something was wrong and I had to live with it. I changed so much during that year, my beautiful curly auburn hair became black and greasy; I hid my marvelous emerald green eyes by blacks lenses; and even most of the time, I hid myself under a long black cape, hood closed. And all of that, just to prevent to attract some guys who would, at the end, break my heart. But this year was my last in this school, and then maybe I could begin a new life. And this last year, I have become head girl. I received my letter at the end of June, but if I accepted that responsibility, it also meant that I should become myself again, like five years before. And that was the last thing I wanted, but then an unexpected visit from my aunt and my cousin made me change my opinion. I spent the last month of my holidays with my cousin, and my stepfather couldn't beat me in his presence. He taught me to live once again.
Flashback:
"Lils, you can have had very bad relationships until now. Everyone had some in their life. You cannot deny love all your life. You cannot continue to live without loving.
-Why should I love if it's going to hurt me afterwards?
- One day you will find the guy of your life, until then, just play with them, like toys. Like them without really liking them, without opening your heart to them!"
End of Flashback.
During nearly three weeks, he tried to convince me, and
I cannot say that he didn't succeed because even after he left, and I returned to my normal life with Richard's beatings, I tried to remember his statements and they gave me hope. Now, I am here at Hogwarts, several glances on me after Dumbledore's announcement. And I don't have any idea of what I should do!