Part One – Awakening
It was all or nothing for Rose Tyler.
Right now, she had nothing.
She lifted her head from her pillow, frowning at the drool stain that trailed behind. Wiping her mouth, she sat up, working to disentangle her legs from the twisted linens. The numbers on the clock radio beside her bed glared obnoxiously, forcing her to dolefully acknowledge that it would be yet another sleepless night. 3:11 a.m. She hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since—
Rose shuddered. Once her mind started on this track she knew where it would lead. Bad places. Climbing out of bed, she marveled at the body that lay there comfortably beside her on all these sleepless nights. This was the man who meant so much to her, who did all for her, who loved her unconditionally. But for some reason, he wasn't right.
She hated herself for even thinking those words. But how could she stop herself?
This isn't right.
She tried to shrug off the nagging thoughts. She went through a mental checklist that she had rehearsed pointlessly almost every night beginning from her first day in this new life. It was more of a practice in memorization at this point than it was an exercise for mental health:
He was the Doctor.
He was
hers.
She was his.
Until death do us part.
Sure, Rose's arrangement with "her" Doctor seemed jolly well and good on the surface of the matter…but when she delved deeper into her thoughts, she couldn't help but question the legitimacy of him. Of us.
She cringed upon thinking those words; the guilt was almost too much to bear. She knew that her Doctor would never forgive himself if he caught wind of these hesitations and misgivings. Though she knew he already suspected as much.
He was perfect; he was more than she deserved. She wanted to tell him all of these things but she didn't know how. From the day she met the Doctor she had yearned to share a lifetime with him, and everything had finally fallen into place. It was better than perfect: to share a life with the Doctor, but for him to be able to share his entire life with this one woman. The very woman that his original self had tried so hard not to love.
But the very fact that the man lying beside her was human made him the farthest thing possible from the Doctor she had known and always loved. Selfish as it was, the Doctor she loved was a Time Lord. The Doctor without his Time Lord identity is not the Doctor. He may look and act the same, but the true Doctor's identity was thoroughly and categorically linked his identity as the Time Lord. The lone traveler. The hero.
She wanted him back.