Let Go

DISCLAIMER: I don't own InuYasha, I wish but can't. He belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, enjoy!

-
ONE-SHOT
-

A figure stood on top of a tall temple, built not too far from Keade-baba's village so she would be able to help them when needed. The woman was tall and had the air of regal. Her posture was straight and proud with her shoulders squared back and her chin held up high. Her long midnight hair was braided thickly in a French braid to her mid back where a white ribbon tied, the rest of her hair trailed down to past her waist. Stormy blue, defiant eyes looked around at the endless lands that she had known as home for the past two years. They truly are beautiful…She thought as she stared at the purple mountains.

"InuYasha…" 17-year-old Kagome stared partially afraid and sad in apprehension at her best friend and first love. InuYasha's back met her face as he stared over the vast rolling plains where the field workers progressed, his left clawed hand comfortably on Tetsusaiga and its sheath. Kagome's eyes softened. He truly did look amazing beautiful. The sunset seemed to have softened his boyishly rough face to look that of a soft and matured child; his eyes and hair seemed to give a glow with the gleaming prayer beads around his neck.

"Kagome…I'm sorry."

The woman of 19 stood in her place with the broom in hand and allowed the wind to do as it pleased with her hair. A familiar prayer bead necklace gleamed fondly around her neck, stopping gently on top of her breasts. Kagome smiled sadly and fondly in respect at the beads, raising a gentle tan hand to gently caress the middle bead with the tips of her. Akira always wondered why I never take this off…I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell her the story…

Kagome's eyes widened in curiosity, for some reason a lump formed around her heart as if something was trying to drag it down.

"What ever for, InuYasha? You didn't do anything…" A tired sigh escaped from InuYasha causing Kagome's eyes to widen. For once…that tiny little sigh seemed to show his long age of years, he was after all a little over 200. She shook her head and looked back at him.

"InuYasha…what's bothering you? Maybe I can help…" InuYasha let out a bitter chuckle, making Kagome shiver at the sound. Never had she heard such a…defeated sound come from him. What's eating you away, InuYasha?

"I…have come to a decision."

Walking to the side of the temple, Kagome smiled down at the stone with the engraved kanji that spelled his name and ironically, so was Kikyo's. Kneeling down gently, she placed the broom aside and clapped her hands together a few times before growing silent with her eyes closed as she did her morning prayers. It was almost a daily expectant routine. She would wake up at the same time as the rising sun, bathe, do her chores, watch the sun rise until almost seven before praying for about two hours in front of the two stones. She would wait until Akira was done with doing her chores and come to her. Akira, the little 7-year-old pupil that she had saved a year ago from a spider demon, had become her adoptive daughter and was greatly pleased when she and Shippo got along.

"Oh…I-I see…" Kagome mentally kicked herself for allowing herself to stutter as she placed her hands laced together in front of her; a habit she had gone accustomed to when nervous. Secretly, she was always afraid, deathly afraid when this moment would arrive…it was after all, the moment of truth. Her or Kikyo. Kagome bit her lip. She knew she could never compare to Kikyo when it came to grace, beauty, or powers, but she couldn't help but to just hope that InuYasha would be able to see her as a person, worthy enough to be chosen over his first love.

"M-may I ask w-what you decided, InuYasha…?"

Kagome could swear that InuYasha could hear her heart beating dangerously hard against her ribcage as his adorable ears, the ears she had fallen in love with at first sight, flatten against his head.

"I…I chose…" Kagome's hands grasped tightly against the other in a desperate prayer and plea. I never asked for much, just please, god…please, allow me him. A sigh escaped him as he turned to her. Her heart started to crack, the sound inside her giving long and treacherous creaks. Please no…His ember eyes, those orbs she loved to look at it, were filled with such torment that she wished she could just run up to him and kiss them away.

"I'm…" His voice sounded so helpless as he stared aching at her, "I'm sorry, Kagome…"

No…Her heart finally broke into billions of pieces. Tears building in her eyes, she stared at InuYasha, never breaking eye contact.

Kagome opened her eyes and allowed a pleasant smile to lighten her face as she laid new lilies and daisies over their graves. It's amazing really, how my heart still remembers that moment…Standing up, she swiped off the loose dirt particles off of her red hakama priestess clothes. Looking up, her smile brightened even more as she found Akira hopping on one foot as she tried to get her socks and sandals on, her priestess clothes in a jumble, her hair in a messy braid. She pressed a delicate hand over her pink lips from seeing Akira laugh gently.

I guess god has repaid me by giving her to me, I can't help but to grateful. She thought as she walked across the front yard to the stumbling Akira before steadying her by putting her hands on her shoulders, causing Akira to jump up startled, looking up at her with startled brilliant light violet eyes. Kagome smiled gently,

"You're late, Akira." Akira flushed adorably, making Kagome to chuckle even more at her as she allowed Akira to straighten herself up. Kagome busied herself by re-braiding her dark brown-almost black hair.

"Gomen nasai, okaa-san."

"You're forgiven, Akira. But you cannot continue this. I'm sorry, but you must sweep the temple steps for punishment." Akira pouted when Kagome gave her an affectionate embrace from behind her after braiding her hair.

"Hai, okaa-san. I understand."

"Good." She gently slapped her bottom with both hands, gently shoving her towards the stairs with her broom.

"Hai, hai. I'm on it." Kagome shook her head amused as she continued to stand there.

Kagome stared at him and opened her mouth, but closed it when she couldn't think of anything to say. Every time she did, she would always lose them before she had the chance to open her mouth. It was like a lump made itself stuck within her throat, choking her enough to not say anything to the saddened hanyou before her. I can't help but to feel sad by his decision. Kikyo's always been better than me, so of course he should go, but do I have to hate him for it? She stared at InuYasha, the hanyou growing uncomfortable under her intense gaze.

She knew that she had every right to be angered, jealous, sad, even betrayed at the two. When you look at it, you'd think that it would be ridiculous to feel as if you should go to hell with her because you were tricked and yet you feel guilty. And to feel the obligation to bring somebody that you love down with you, wouldn't you rather have them live? But, she didn't feel any ill towards InuYasha or Kikyo. Disappointment? Hell yes. Ache? Again, hell yes. Did she feel resentful by this decision? Stunningly, no…Shoulders slumping, she finally understood. It was like…as if to finally squash down the regrets that they both shared, the guilt they both could not deny.

"I won't be able to talk you out of this, will I?" Her voice was so soft that InuYasha's ear twitched, straining to hear them. The emotion built even higher in his eyes at the words. His posture slumped as well.

"No, Kagome…" He choked out as he secretly hated the emotional tension that was playing between them. God how he wished that this moment had never come.

"You won't be able to." He said, trying to get his voice back to normal.

The tears slowly rolled down her face as she slowly walked to him, right passed the well and stopped only an inch from him. She whispered softly again as she hugged the stunned hanyou, softly placing her head on his strong chest,

"Then allow me to hug you, for the rest of your stay." Her tears fell as the hanyou shuddered and she felt herself almost be crushed against his strong fold, his arm around her waist and his right hand buried in the nestle of black hair, holding her head comfortably underneath his chin, never allowing her to draw back, not that she wanted…And he nuzzled her silky tresses, his hurt eyes staring out in the forest around them in melancholy. I wish I didn't have to do this to, Kagome…

Oh InuYasha…She thought distressed as she breathed in long and deep many times at his scent, trying to lose herself in it, trying to remember it and the spicy cinnamon that accompanied it. I don't want you to go, but I won't stop you for doing what you think is right. I guess I can't stop you this time…Her hand tightened in his cloth. I'll just have to spend as much time with you. Watching you laugh, listen to your deep voice talk, watch you spend time with everyone…I just want the greatest of memories from you, InuYasha. Maybe if I had them, I'll be able to handle your decision.

Kagome though, deep within her heart knew that it could never be enough.

Putting her hands in her sleeves, she surveyed Akira to make sure she wasn't dwaddling. It took much persuasion and bribes to the village men to build the house, even more to convince Keade-baba that she'll be alright living on her own seeing as Sango and Miroku went to the demon slayer village with Shippo. She would admit she was hurt by her kit's decision, but she knew he was right. There was no place for a demon child at a miko temple, no matter the relation.

She started walking down the steps and said to Akira as she passed,

"I'm going to get supplies, if a demon appears, you know what to do." Kagome smiled at the beaming face staring up at her as she hugged her.

"Hai, okaa-san!"

Walking down the steps, she hummed quietly 'Four Seasons' by Amuro Namie. I truly do not wish for these memories, memories that always remind me that I cannot love InuYasha. I know, but why must I always be retold? As she walked through the small forest in between the temple and the village, Kagome ignored the creatures that looked at her curiously as the beautiful woman walked in solitude. It's strange how my heart beats for him still…even when he is dead he haunts me…reminding me that I love him. She felt tears prick behind her eyes, but she pride-fully shoved them back. No more nonsense. She scolded herself as she made the clearing towards Keade-baba's hut, placing a fake smile on her face; practicing her façade.

"Child, tis good to see ye back so soon." She couldn't stop the sincere smile growing as she near the old woman who was reduced to using a walking stick or else her knees would give out. She silently dread when the time would come when the old woman she considered a grandmother had finally passed the line.

"Do not fret, child. Tis old fraud may look frail and weak, but ye be surprised at how strong I can be." Kagome looked at the woman, her eye shown understanding. Comfort warming her heart, Kagome let out a strong smile and stooped down to hug her fondly,

"It's great to see you too, Keade-baba. You said that there was a woman here expecting a child?" The old priestess gave a weary sigh causing Kagome to give her a strange look.

"She is what ye say 'hormonal' than me sister was when she was alive." Kagome couldn't help it; laughter escaped her shaking form as she grasped her stomach. When she quieted down with eyes still sparkling with mirth, Kagome walked with Keade-baba into the village,

"Well, let's see her royal 'hormonal-ness' and see when she's due today."

Kagome let out a weak smile as InuYasha and Kikyo stood upon the hill not too far from them. Shippo cried silently in her arms. The only thing she could think of consoling her precious kit was to cuddle him further to her body. She herself wanted to just disappear into the well back home and just find this a dream. She shook her head scolding herself. I…I can't run away from this. InuYasha has made a decision and I promised him in the beginning that I would be there for him. She bit her lip tightly as Sango buried her face into Miroku's chest; Miroku with his saddened expression didn't have the heart to use the opportunity to grope her.

She felt her knees weaken as InuYasha looked at her as he allowed Kikyo to drag him with her into hell. Winds picked up as the ground creaked around them; Kagome felt her hair tug towards them. Her tears seemed like crystal liquid as the wind tugged at them.

"InuYasha…" She whispered defeated as his and Kikyo's body was slowly being drawn in. InuYasha stared at Kagome's crying form as the Earth swallowed him.

I love you…Kagome.

Kagome let out a cry of disappear when his and Kikyo's whole being was gone as she held Shippo close to her to the point where he almost couldn't breathe. I failed. All of those times of being with you these past two weeks. Laughing…joking…teasing…talking. I failed…I miss you already, InuYasha.

Kagome slowly walked up the steps of the temple where it was almost five o' clock with a bag on her back tied around her neck much like Sango would with her supplies back during the times they were shard hunting. I hope Akira won't be mad at me. She thought this as she finally made it to the top, not even breaking a sweat to smile at the figure running towards her.

"Kagome-nee-chan!" Kagome chuckled and hugged the 9-year-old Rin as her small body practically shook with uncontrolled excitement. Rin beamed up at her as Akira hugged her adoptive mother.

"Sesshomaru-sama dropped off Rin for Rin was missing Kagome-nee-chan so much. Sesshomaru-sama promised to pick Rin up when the moon rises to the middle of the night!" Kagome nodded her head and lead the girls back into the temple so she could make dinner. That reminds me…Sesshomaru was there not too long ago after InuYasha left us.

Kagome took in a shuttering breath as she tried to control the tears that threatened to take over again. Hugging herself, she sat against the well as many memories flashed through her eyes of all the times she sat InuYasha here, the many times they would sit here and talk, and all of the times he dragged her back kicking and screaming. A smile tired smile twitched before disappearing. Oh InuYasha…

"Girl, where is InuYasha." Her head shot up quickly to find Sesshomaru no more than twenty feet from her. She gulped as much as she could with a dry and aching throat. Great, I was crying so much that I didn't sense his presence. She thought pathetically.

"W-What?" She asked dumbly, her mind blank. Sesshomaru looked at her annoyed,

"The half-breed, wench. The filth you travel with who has my sword, Tetsusaiga." Kagome felt fury brittle inside her chest at his words. She couldn't believe him, mocking InuYasha, and right when she was still trying to get over him leaving for good.

"InuYasha wasn't and isn't filth! If there is any filth, it would be you! A demon who covets that who belongs to someone else, letting his childish hatred and jealousy get in the way of family –"

Kagome gasped as the wind was knocked out of her as she felt her back meet the harsh bark behind her of the tree. She winced as Sesshomaru's deadly claws flexed against her fragile neck threateningly. She dared to look in the glaring and icy cold suns that seemed to pierce through her many layers of soul. She couldn't help but to feel uncomfortable, almost bare underneath his gaze.

"Do not presume that you know of this Sesshomaru." He growled out as he allowed the tiniest bit of poison into her bloodstream. Kagome gasped out at the excruciating pain that flowed slowly and unbearably through her body. Closing her eyes in pain, she hissed and gasped through her gritted teeth, she barely acknowledge herself being dropped to the ground as she writhed in pain on the ground.

"Now answer my question, wench. Where is InuYasha?"

It took a few moments for Kagome to finally spit it out,

"In hell with K-Kikyo."

"What!" Kagome gasped as she found herself again harshly being pushed against the tree, through her closely flinching eyes, she could just barely make out the angry eyes of the Taiyoukai.

"What?" She wheezed as her miko powers tried fighting against the poison. "Actually feel compassion for your brother?" Sesshomaru ignored her though and pressed on,

"Did he take Tetsusaiga with him?"

"Y-Yes!" She choked out. Growling, Sesshomaru turned around and tossed her disgusted, as if he touched a bloody corpse. Kagome though was glad to be on the ground as she grasped at the blades of grass. Kagome though sat up with as much strength as she had and turned away from the Taiyoukai as she secretly begged the cold youkai to leave before she cried. She didn't need him to sound like InuYasha at the moment.

"He is not worth any tears over, Miko." Sniffling, she raised her bowed head after a few moments and whispered as she turned to the Taiyoukai,

"That is where you are wrong S-Sesshomaru-sama." She whispered, her voice struggling to say anything. "InuYasha is worth more than my tears." That said, she turned away from the slightly still enraged Taiyoukai and continued to weep.

Shaking her head, she tucked the two tired girls in Akira's bed and sat in the middle of the front yard in the moonlight and closed her eyes and allowed the moon's light to wash over her. It pains me to miss him so much…when will it ever heal? Her eyes opened after what seemed like hours and whispered,

"Good evening, Sesshomaru-sama. Rin is asleep with Akira in her room if you wish to gather her." She couldn't see it, but she could feel the curt nod sent her way as she heard the opening and closing of the shoji door. Sighing, she closed her eyes again. Why InuYasha? Why can't you leave me alone? I told myself through those two weeks that I would have the best times of my life with you so I won't ever have to think so horribly of you and yet…it didn't work. I can't seem to move on from you. Why?

"You are thinking of him." Kagome opened her eyes to find the Taiyoukai seated beside her in silence. She shrugged her shoulders and gave a tired smile,

"Yes, I am afraid to admit. I don't know why he can't leave my mind though." The Taiyoukai was silent for a while as she enjoyed the beauty of nature around her.

"Perhaps you have truly never let him go." She looked curiously at the stoic demon lord,

"Huh?" Was her intelligent reply.

"Even though you saw him leave and let him literally go with Kikyo, you never truly let him go."

"I still don't understand." Kagome watched as Sesshomaru bright an index finger to where her heart laid,

"You never truly set him free from your…love." Dawning shined in her eyes and Kagome turned away and sighed. The stoic lord watched her with curious eyes.

"It's hard to let somebody go when they say 'I love you'."

"Did he ever say those words to you?" She blushed a bright red making the Taiyoukai smirk gently at her embarrassment,

"Well…I…uh…no, but I could see it in his eyes!" She said defiantly at the smirking inuyoukai. Sesshomaru pointed out much to her chagrin,

"But it isn't the same as speaking it. If he truly loved you he would have said it to you through the time you had with him." Shoot. She thought sourly as she turned back to the moon, not truly wanting to believe in him before stating sadly, tears gathering in her eyes,

"But…I don't want to let him go." Smelling the salt of her tears, Sesshomaru sighed and picked her up before setting her on his lap. She snuggled against his warmth without knowing. Sesshomaru though, only looked up at the moon with her and ignored the growing warmth emitting from her body against his.

"If you ever wish to live free of conscious and to live freely with no ties with Akira, it would be best that you do." He stated to her. Kagome looked thoughtfully up at him as he continued to look at the moon in an appraising glory.

It's true though; I can't help but feel as if I'm neglecting Akira. She needs me there to help her learn the way of miko training and the love of a mother. She needs to be around children her age and not live the life of solitude. She huffed at the smirking Taiyoukai,

"How come its you who has the answers to the 'unknown'?"

"Because you're too stupid to use your common sense." He replied arrogantly.

"True." She whispered softly as she turned to the moon. "Too true."

Truthfully, I wish to never give up on InuYasha and hope that he'll just someday come back to life and I could be able to run into his arms and every thing will be the same. I wish that InuYasha and I could have had a second chance like he and Kikyo were given, but…I have to move on and accept the course Fate has chosen for me. Besides…Kagome thought teasingly as she spared Sesshomaru a glance. Maybe I'll have someone who'll help me along the way. Kagome ignored the raised eyebrow she got and stared up at the moon. Blinking she looked around eyes wide. Sesshomaru looked at her,

"What is it?"

Blinking a few times, Kagome shook her head,

"Nothing. Nothing, never mind. I think I'm just being paranoid."

I swear I could have heard InuYasha screaming about not even thinking of Sesshomaru as a love interest…?

-

Owari

-

Miss Artemis