Okay so this story is a sequel to I'm Gonna Get What I Want. I know I sort of left off at a bad place, but this story makes up for all of that, I promise you. And I know the whole, Harry and Hermione wedding seems cliche but my version isn't. (I like H/G but I'm not exactly crazy about them). Anyway, I know you guys were happy that Ron and Hermione had gotten back together, and I know the last chapter of I'm Going To Get What I Want probably upset you. But trust me, after you read this you'll be all like: OMG I fucking love Jaybirdsfree stories! Trust me. Anyway- Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

*I'm so excited*

By the way, this chapter is REALLY dark, and I usually don't write things like this, and I know most of you guys will probably read this chapter and say: "Well I'm not reading this anymore", but PLEASE bear with me. Please.

Chapter 1: My Screwed Up Life

As I lie on the mahogony wooden floor I think about what I used to be and how happy I was.

I used to be Hermione Granger the brave intelligent heroine who helped the great Harry Potter defeat Lord Voldemort. I used to be called the smartest witch of my age. The mudblood. The muggleborn.

I'd been called many things but everything had been okay as long as I had by best friends Harry and Ron by my side.

But then I fell in love. I fell in love with Ron, and I hadn't been ashamed. But that's when it all came down. Everything that made me me was taken from me nd crumpled up and stomped on before my very eyes.

It all started when I'd come home to find my boyfriend with another woman. And I'd met my current boyfriend Nicholas. During that time I was screwed up, but it doesn't compareto how badly I'm screwed up now. I left and when I'd came back I found out that Ron still loved me. And I let him back in. And gess what? He gave me back what made me- me. He'd explained how him being with another woman was to protect me. And as stupid as it sounds he was actually trying to protect me. We then got back together. We even made passionate love.

But then his sister and Harry got engaged and he decided that us being together wasn't such a good idea. He told me we'd moved too fast.
So I left. Again. But this time, none of this was an act. This time when I left, I lost control.

Now, I'm screwed up.
When I came back, I told Nicholas everthing that had happened, hoping he understood why we shouldn't be together. But no. He refused to let me go.

I can't leave him. No matter how many times I've tried. When I have tried he'd hit me. He'd tell me I'm a worthless bloody slut and tell me to shed all of my clothing. Becasue after all- that's what sluts do right? And I obeyed because I knew if I didn't he hit me. So after I'd take off all of my clothes he'd shove his manhood inside me- violently.

And it hurt. It hurt me when he'd shag me. I never would want to. He'd shove his filfthy dick inside me and would hit me while doing it too. And I couldn't do anything but cry the entire time. While he'd say: "What's wrong? Don't sluts like you like to shag? Huh?". I would never answer. I'd simply nod my head because if I didn't he use the Cruciatus charm on me.

And if I'd ever tell anyone this, they'd think I'm lying. Because after all- I helped defeat Voldemort. Surely I could handle an ordinary wizard. But no. Because I don't have Harry or Ron to help me. And I can't push him off. He's 210 pounds of pure muscle. And I'm only 105 pounds. I'm way to frail. Because I don't eat unless it's a piece of toast or some pumpkin juice. I do drink a lot though. And I'm talking vodka, tequila, rum, firewhisky, beer, you name it.

But I can't help it. Because all of the pain I have goes away when I drink alcohol. Besides if I don't drink I end up working, but when I do I run out of work to do, so I read. But all of the books in the house are books I've already read. And I wouldn't dare show my face in a bookstore. It'd just be too embarrasing. I remember th last time I went I ran into Paravati and Lavender. They looked at me like some sort of homeless child. They'd ask me: "What happened to you? Why do you have a black eye? What are all of those cuts and scars running down your arms?". I just crossed my arms, hoping my wounds wouldn't be visible and say: "Just a bit of an accident". Then they'd throw me an expression as if to say: "Seriously?". And I told them it was nice seeing them and apparate back home.
So if I wasn't reading I was cutting myself. Hoping that this pain would distract me from the pain I'd already been feeling. And it worked. But I figured the last thing I needed was a wound. So I turned to alcohol.

The door opened and I quickly stood up. Nicholas was home. And I know if he's seen the empty cracked bottle on the floor he'd beat me again.

I searched for my wand frantically. It was nowhere to be found so I quickly picked up the bits of glass off of the floor and ran into the kitchen to find Nicholas and a woman with jet black hair. She was sitting on the counter. Her beautiful long black hair flowing down her back, her small hazel eyes looking me up and down, she had on a tight black mini skirt and a red bra on. She was really curvaceous and pretty.
It's a bit hard to imagine someone so beautiful with someone so horrid.

"So, who's this Nick? A house elf?", the girl asked lamely. She had an American accent. A sly smile was creeping onto her face. I immediatley had a strong urge to slap it off.

"Actually I'm his girlfriend", I said. Then I turned to Nicholas, "So who's this slut, Nick?" I asked boldly. It was defintely the three shots of vodka talking, but then again I feel sober. I don't feel drunk at all.

He came up to me and slapped me. I dropped the bottle and the other pieces of broken glasses and touched my cheek.

"Don't talk about Nina like that! You're the slut! Look at yourself! Your drunk! You alcoholic bitch!", Nicholas spat at me. He picked up the empty cracked bottle and threw it at me. I ducked just in time. But there was still a piece of glass that managed to dig through my skin on my arm.

I screamed in pain. He picked me up by pulling my hair and slapped me again.

"Shutup! Now pick up this glass and leave me alone!", he spat angrily. He pushed me down to my knees. I cried in agony as the tiny pieces of glass dug nto my skin. Tears were falling rapidly out of my eyes. But I obeyed. Piece by tiny piece I picked up the glass.

By the time I was done my fingers were bloody and so were my knees. Blood was dripping down my arm. The glass was still deep in my skin and I was in terrible pain.

"Clean up all of that blood!", Nicholas spat. I grabbed for the kitchen towel but he slapped my hand away.

"Why would you use a clean towel? Use your shirt you bloody idiot!", Nicholas shouted. He tugged at my hair.

I took of my oversized purple Weird Sisters shirt and wiped up my blood. Blood was still dripping from my body though. I stood up and ran to the bathroom and washed my hands. I pulled the piece of glass out of my arm and threw it to the ground and cried in agony.

Nicholas appeared at the bathroom door.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up! You've scared Nina away with all of your bloody screaming!", Nicholas shouted.

"I-I s-s-sorry", I said quietly. I grabbed my arm tightly as the blood continued to drip from my shoulder.

"You're wearing a new bra", Nicholas said quietly. At first I was puzzled, but then I realized I left my Weird Sisters shirt on the kitchen floor. Which left me in my orange bra and white knickers.

"N-no. I just haven't worn this one in a while", I said.

"Well since Nina's gone, I guess you'll have to satisfy me", Nicholas said with a sly smile on his face. I wish I had the strength and bravery to slap it off but my arm was hurting and he'd only hit me anyway.

"N-no!", I said. I was alread going through too much pain. I couldn't handle him shoving his filfthy dick inside me,

"What?", Nicholas shouted angrily. Before I could retort he dragged me in our room and threw me on the bed.

"No!", I screamed. But ,of course, he didn't listen.

He straddled me and held me breasts tightly. He kept queezing tighter and tighter until I screamed in pain. He then snatched off my knickers and shoved his dick inside me.

For about an hour he pumped. It hurt like hell too.

I hadn't realized my wand was on the bedside table. It was only a couple of inchs away, and he wasn't really focusing on me. His eyes were closed and he was biting his lips.

I reached out for my wand. If I could only scoot up a bit more. . .

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?", Nicholas asked. He started to get up which gave me the chance to grab my wand.

I quickly got off of the bed and pointed the wand directly to his heart.

"So your going to kill me? You really have the guts?", he spat. I knew he was scared. And he had every right to be.

"Incarcerous!", I shouted. He was suddenly tied up. There was no way he could get out of that.

"Levicorpus!", I shouted, "Incendio!". I shouted. Flames appeared around him and I could hear his screams of agony even under the thick rope bindings over his mouth. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my Weird Sisters shirt, put it on and apparated to St. Mungo's before the entire house was set aflame.

Really dark huh? Well anyway R&R!

Sincerely,

Jay