Title: Something More
Rating: T
Pairings: Addison/Alex, Mark/Izzie
Summary: They had thought that their searches for "something more" ended with each other, and even after Izzie's leave from SGH, Alex doesn't expect much except for him to wait until she returns. By the time she does return, though, Alex has begun something else entirely with another woman and Izzie goes on to find that which was always right in front of her, waiting.
Note: Look, it's both a McStizzie and Addex fic, something I felt I haven't done in too long! Warnings - herein be fluff, more Mark/Izzie than I intended, and a 5,000+ word count. And now this is the longest one-shot I've ever written! Anywho...enjoy!
There are days when Alex Karev feels like he's literally walking backwards. Those are the days he stops himself in his steps, pauses to quiet the voices and actions of yesteryear, then keeps on his way with a noticeably more irritable attitude for the remainder of the day.
Every step he takes means five steps back he'll end up taking. He knows this just as his friends and co-workers know this.
There are two women whom have made him take not five steps backwards, but ten.
They challenged him, they brought something out in him, they made him feel something that poked at his walls, they gave him initiative to change--and so he paid them back by prodding all that into the dirt and forcing them to run far and away from him (in one woman's case, literally causing her to run away).
Someone can make the case that there were three women. That girl from the ferry crash, however, was just the manifestation of something he could tangibly mold without her having preconceived notions of him. She had a fresh memory to allot things in, had a clean slate that didn't need to be wiped clean of, had seen him as nothing more or less than the doctor who had saved her. He attempted being everything and nothing to her, without him ever really knowing her.
So there are two women--Izzie Stevens and Addison Forbes Montgomery--that affected him to the point that he took a dozen strides forward only to stumble further back than before. He can't even say it's because of them. It's not their fault, nor was it their responsibility.
Somewhere along the line, or rather a few more times, he tries to fall back into step with Izzie. It never works. Making up to break up is never healthy, but they are always at it. They are each others ends, so some believe because even though they've broken apart and caused each other heartache, ultimately they wind up looking for comfort in each others arms. And it isn't about them reading too much into a friendship that entails such comfort and warmth, because there is a palpable chemistry and longing to do more than just briefly hug and such. It always comes down to the chase, though, and wanting more is what it will always come down to, and just being each others ends won't always do it for them.
Unfortunately, this truth doesn't come to fruition to either one when Izzie Stevens packs her bags and leaves Seattle to some unknown place. Nothing is said on the subject, aside from the "I'll miss you, Iz. And no matter where you go, we'll still have your back" he tells her before she drives off.
He has an inkling that someday she'll return, and that if she hasn't found the guy she really deserves, and he's managed to not knock up a random girl, they'll wind right back up in each other's arms. Other than that, there is no the girl for him (this he marks as fact) and there's no way of knowing whether Izzie will ever give herself a real shot with another man anytime soon.
The clock doesn't stop. Life goes on, just like the girls that run through his life do. In two years time he must admit, however, that the girls have lessened. He just has other priorities, is all.
"Something's different about you, Karev."
Dr. Addison Montgomery returns two years after Izzie's departure. Not even two days after her return, he asks her why she returned. She says, "LA was great. Working at the Oceanside Wellness Group taught me more than I could have ever anticipated, and working with a few patients a day along with such great colleagues is something I will always value and cherish. But the truth is…I missed the high and rush of working in a real hospital--moreover, Seattle Grace Hospital."
Four days after his question, Addison remarks that one line as she and he observe a baby in an incubator.
"Something's different about you, Karev."
It's nothing more than a line he hears when silence abounds. She hadn't pronunciated it as a question or an inquiry, she simply stated it as fact.
A week after her line, he sits beside her on the bench by the entrance to the hospital.
"Something's different about you," he says with a teasing tone, but maybe she didn't read that part.
"Really?"
He bites back his laugh. "Something was different about you. Three years back when you came here some months after you left. It was…weird."
She chuckles, but keeps prodding. "Good weird, or bad weird?"
"It wasn't bad, but it just wasn't you. This is you."
"So I'm different than the last different you saw, which is the same you saw before I left?"
He nods, then leans forward and clasps his hands together as his head hangs.
"I'm sorry," he says.
"Oh don't be. I know I was different, but shifting back into the old me was the best thing I ever did--otherwise I wouldn't be back here, getting this hospital mentioned in medical journals."
"No, not about that."
"About what then--" and she stops herself, realizing what he really means. "You're sorry," she whispers, breathes in deeply, then leans forward in a similar fashion as him.
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
---
Izzie takes a seat at the bar's counter, directly in front of Joe.
"Izzie, you're back!" he exclaims with delight.
"Yeah," she smiles, "I'm back."
"The usual?"
"You remember?" she asks.
"How could I forget?" Joe winks at her and squeezes her hand, glad to see her back in that bar, in that city.
As Joe gets her, her drink, Izzie scans the bar for the second time (the first time being when she stood at the entrance of the bar), and her eyes settle on the same couple she spotted the first time around.
When she hears Joe set her drink in front of her, with her eyes still on that couple, she asks aloud, "are they happy? Like really happy?"
"Yes," she hears two voices answer her, one being from Joe, and the other from Mark, who stands nearby preparing to sit himself on the stool next to her.
Her eyes slowly turn towards him, and she greets him. "Dr. Sloan, good to see you."
"Really, Dr. Stevens?" he tilts his head at her, as though examining her.
Izzie smiles softly and nods, "yes." Turning to Joe, she gives him a nod and a thank you, and takes a sip of her scotch. Meanwhile, Mark orders a drink from Joe and Izzie turns in her seat to face Mark.
"You want to know their story, don't you?"
Izzie chuckles. "Yes, but I want to hear it from them."
"But you want to know enough to face them without looking like some idiot that's stumbled in on something haphazardly."
Half-surprised that he's saying this so calmly and with such conviction all without once hitting on her, she decides to be just as upfront with him. "Yes."
Mark decides to contemplate this first, however, and he takes a swig of his beer before talking to her.
"Alright," he says as he finishes swallowing the swig, "but you have to let me call you Izzie."
She cocks an eyebrow at him, but complies with the condition that she can call him anything she wants (coupled with his restriction of that not lasting more than six months) and with that they agree.
"They've been dating for over a year now."
When he stops there, she has to force herself not to lay on a war of the words. She waits for his pause to end, but he just stares blankly at her.
"And?"
He shrugs and keeps drinking his beer.
"That's all you're going to tell me?" she says in frustration when he just averts her gaze.
"Fine," he huffs, "and I've never seen her happier, and neither have I ever seen him reject more women. Plus they have a history from years ago that you're going to have to figure out how to get out of them."
---
She sits there with Mark Sloan for another five minutes after he mentions a history. She sits quietly, thinking over what that could possibly mean as Mark spots a girl somewhere and begins flirting with her from afar. Finally she jumps down from the stool and casually walks over to the couple oblivious to what appears to be the world surrounding them.
"Alex," she breathes out.
He turns to her, his bright smile still lighting up his face as his eyes land on her.
"Iz!" he yells and climbs out of the booth.
"Hey," she says and envelopes him in a hug, "I missed you."
"Missed you, too, Iz," and he presses a kiss on her forehead.
"And Dr. Montgomery," Izzie acknowledges her when Alex has moved out from the hug.
"Dr. Stevens," Addison answers and also slides out of the booth. She extends her hand, which Izzie meets, and the two women pass each other a friendly smile.
"It's great to see you, Dr. Montgomery."
"You too--but do me a favor. Call me Addison."
Izzie laughs. "Okay, but you'll have to call me Izzie."
An awkward silence passes over after that when Izzie draws her eyes between Addison and Alex, and they all stand by the booth.
"Dr. Ste--Izzie, why don't you take a seat," Addison motions to the booth. Izzie prepares to protest, but Addison starts up again, "I'm sure you and Alex have a lot to catch up on and I have some files to attend to at home, anyway."
"Yeah, I guess we do have some catching up to do," Izzie responds.
Addison smiles at the younger woman, and turns to Alex. "See you later," she whispers to him and pecks him on the lips.
With her departure, Alex and Izzie settle themselves into the booth on opposite sides of each other.
"That was unexpected," Izzie admits after they've settled themselves in their seats.
"Tell me about it," Alex says.
"But it's a good unexpected."
"Yeah," and Alex takes a moment to relish in that answer before going on, "so how'd you do, Iz?"
He asks her questions about where she went, where she stayed, what she found, and how she felt about being back. She answers it all without missing a beat, with excitement winding through her words and happiness threading her experiences.
"And now I'm back," she finishes off, "and I'm in the best place of my life I've ever been. Just like you seem to be--tell me, how did that happen?"
Alex looks at her blankly for some seconds, then scratches his head.
"It's a long story."
"And I'm willing to listen with breaks and all."
"Well, you want the abridged or unabridged version?"
He says unabridged with a tinge of regret in his voice, so she knows that the history lays heavily in the unabridged version. It's the version she wants to hear, but she won't be forcing it out of him.
"Whatever you feel comfortable with Alex."
Their eyes meet and Alex remembers with a clear distinction how they used to be such confidants, and how he kept this to himself for so long without her knowing. It's time for her to know.
"Remember when I started working on the gynie squad?"
"After Denny died?"
He nods.
"Yeah, I remember. I also remember how you chased me after that."
"Well after you blew me off, I just figured I'd wait for you to come around. Except, that didn't happen because Addison happened instead."
And it was over four years ago, but for the first time that night, Izzie hears the truth about the woman after her, and before Ava.
---
Four days after her return to Seattle, she gets back to working at Seattle Grace Hospital where she's finally treated with respect and even admiration. She's the woman they always knew she could be and is stronger than before. She has no amorous relationships or distractions to detract her from her objectives and/or purpose, and moreover she has her friends who fill her in on everything and work with her (albeit with copious amounts of competition, as expected).
Her curiosity is still as strong as ever, as well.
Alex, he told her about the brief affair he had with Addison years back, and he told her how he and Addison finally got their act together (he even told her that they were planning to move in together in a couple of weeks). There are things left unsaid, however, and untold perspectives she feels she needs to know in order to comprehend the entire thing better. For some reason, she knows she'll get a better sense of perspective from the one man whose gaze also fell on the couple on occasion--the one man who had moved his life over for Addison, and remained in Seattle even after her departure and return to another man's arms.
"Why Dr. Stevens, I never knew you had it in you," he says as he shakes of his shoes off and begins taking his shirt off in the on-call room she summoned him to.
"When I asked to meet you here, it wasn't for sex," she firmly states.
Mark smoothes his shirt back down and suspiciously looks at her.
"Then what for?"
She tells him that she'll understand if he doesn't want to explore the subject, but she feels compelled to implore. After he denies a seat on the cot, she sits down on it as he stands several feet away from her.
"When you found out that they were together, did you find it strange or--"
"I saw them coming out of an on-call room before she left to visit her friends in LA."
Izzie's mouth opens in surprise. Alex had told her about that incident, but he had said that no one knew about that incident.
"If you saw them, why didn't you call her on it when you admitted to breaking the sex pact?"
He's surprised that Alex told her that much, but he answers her.
"I didn't break the pact. She did, but I saved her the trouble of admitting that she was the one who didn't follow through with it."
"Why?"
He shrugs, as if none of it matters. "Meredith said something about being a grown-up or something, so I did that."
This isn't just breaking news, because she's sure he hasn't told anyone else, but it's also shocking and perspective-changing news. This wasn't like the Mark Sloan she was accustomed to, and that was a good thing.
"Now if we aren't having sex then, I have some patients to get to."
"Of course," Izzie stands, "but thanks for letting me talk to you."
---
Mark takes her thanks as an invitation as some sort, because the following week he stops her before she leaves the hospital grounds.
"Dr. Stevens," he calls her out and asks her to sit with him on the bench outside the hospital.
Tentative, but feeling like she owes him, she takes a seat and waits for him to face her and speak.
"You're probably wondering why I stayed."
So he's either reading her mind or can in fact read people and understand them more than he lets on.
"I don--"
"Save it, Stevens."
Even though he told her he would be calling her Izzie, most times he sticks to Stevens just as she sticks to Sloan. Anything else is too personal.
"Okay, I admit, the only reason I can find for you to have stuck around is because of Derek."
"Isn't that enough? He is my best friend."
"If it was enough, you wouldn't be stalking around this hospital like you only live to make people look better, to seduce women, and joke around with your best friend."
"It's exactly what you do. Minus the seducing women part."
His joking manner really irritates her, and she doesn't know why she won't just walk away.
But she grits her teeth instead and goes, "I save lives, I have friends, all of whom I care for and care for me in return."
"But you think there's more to life."
"Yes, but I'm more than happy with life right now."
"At least until you find that something else?"
"Yes."
"Well maybe I'm just waiting for that something more, just like you, Stevens."
He can say that, but it doesn't make much sense to her. Seattle is her home, as it was always destined to be. He, on the other hand, had a home and life in New York where he had contacts and surely more friends. But it's not worth arguing.
---
"You know, Iz, I thought you were over letting people get to you so much," Alex comment after Izzie goes off on her rant about Mark.
"Three months, Alex, three months I've been here and I've done my work, kicked ass in surgery, and tolerated every egotiscal doctor in this hospital. But enough is enough--does he always have to be such a jerk?"
Sure, she sought him out to speak with a few times, and she was the one who sat through his too personal inquiries, but--but…
"But he says the stupidest things!" she says as she throws her hands up.
Alex has his own fill and decides to run out of the room before she begins another one of her rants.
---
"She just complained about him? That's why she pulled you into the on-call room like there was a massive emergency?"
Alex shrugs and begins pulling on Addison's jeans. "Alex," she warns him as she pushes him away.
"What?"
"We're having a conversation here, and all you want to do is take off my pants."
"Isn't that what girlfriends are for?"
She raises an eyebrow at him and places her hands on her hips.
"That's one strike, Karev."
She gives him that look she usually reserves for one when they're disagreeing on a case, but since she's the senior attending, always insists on being THE ONE in charge. He smirks at her and pulls her back in his arms. He slinks his hands beneath her blouse, presses his fingers into her back and nips at her nose.
"Alex…" she groans, then laughs when he pushes her onto the bed only for him to fall on top of her.
He begins trailing kisses down her neck, but she pushes on his chest and makes him fall on his back. Climbing on top of him, she pins down his wrists and locks eyes with him.
"Just tell me this--did Izzie tell you that Mark seeks her out, asks her seemingly idiotic things, and actually listen to her when she tries talking with him."
"Yeah. Why?" He isn't even paying much attention to the subject. Mostly he's just grinning up at her as he has his legs skim up hers.
"He likes her," Addison says without flinching.
He laughs but she doesn't react to that. "Seriously."
She nods and heads in for a kiss, but he turns his head and pulls away from her grip.
"Alex!" she complains as he climbs out of bed. He scrambles for his jacket and pulls it on as he reaches the door, but Addison pulls him back.
"Where are you going?"
"To tell him to lay off."
Addison shakes her head and turns her back to him. She heads over to the bed and crosses her legs underneath her.
"Addison, he'll only hurt her."
"She's a big girl, Alex, and I understand that you care about her and want to protect her, but you're not a bodyguard, much less her boyfriend to tell someone who likes her to stay away from her."
She's right (she always is, though). He eyes the door, but he knows that Izzie can handle him on her own. Hopefully she can, if not, he'll step in. But for the moment, he takes off his jacket and heads back to his girlfriend with whom he can do more enjoyable things.
---
He kisses her the day after she goes off on Alex about Mark. She doesn't slap him, but she certainly doesn't sleep with him.
She pulls away from the kiss with shock written over her face, and she walks away. When she finally finds a place away from him to sit, she feels her stomach settle and her heart calm, until fear trickles into her mind because it felt good. His kiss and the feel of his hands at her waist felt good.
---
When Izzie drops by their home the night after discovering Mark's like for Izzie, Addison immediately says, "Alex isn't home yet."
"I'm not here to see Alex," Izzie answers.
Addison lets her in and offers Izzie a cup of coffee that she declines because she's "jittery enough as it is."
They're quiet for a few minutes, but when Izzie starts up, it takes awhile for the quiet to return.
"So what do you think?" Izzie asks when she's done with her jumble of words.
Addison stares on at the young blonde woman for a few seconds, then looks down at her hands.
"Addison?" Izzie squeaks, afraid that she'll bust out laughing or even worse, will confirm Izzie's fears.
Addison breathes in deeply, clears her throat, and looks at Izzie directly.
"You're not me, Stevens. We have our similarities, and I understand why you would think that Mark is only after you because of those similarities, but as strange as it may sound, Mark does not stereotype. He knows we're different women, and as such your approach to him shouldn't depend on what I think."
"But--" Izzie interjects.
"No," Addison puts up her hand, "I may have had a relationship with him, and he may have loved me, and yes, he may have cheated on me. But that was me. So the only thing I know for sure is this--if he's remained interested in you despite you not showing romantic interest in him, it may be because he likes the challenge. But that's never enough to keep Mark engaged in a chase. There's something more there, and if you want the answer to what that may be, you'll have to ask him."
---
"Do I remind you of Addison?"
Her heart is beating hard in her chest, and she has to cross her arms in front of her to keep herself from fidgeting, but despite her anxiety she asks him.
He looks angry when she asks him, and even has the audacity to tuck the case he was working on underneath his arm, and walk past her.
"Mark!" she yells as she chases after him. She follows him into the cafeteria, where he beelines towards Derek.
Derek, seeing Izzie chasing after Mark so adamantly as he ignores her, decides to get up and walk in the opposite direction of Mark. Mark turns on his heel and nearly collides into Izzie.
"You don't get to ask me things like that," he says with a harsh tone as his eyes cut down on hers. They stand there, toe to toe, eyes locked for what feels like minutes until he pries his eyes away and takes step she meets.
"I'm sorry, I just--"
"If you have to know, yes. You remind me of her, and I hate you for it. Happy?"
She's left dumbfounded, and if she didn't know any better, even left aching for something that never would have happened anyway.
---
"You told her what?" Addison stares at Mark in disbelief as he pretends to work on some files in his office.
"That I hate her for reminding me of you."
"You are such an idiot," she tells him.
She takes a seat on his desk and kicks his chair.
"Go away, Addison," he grumbles.
"No, not until you admit that you don't hate her."
"I sure as hell don't love her."
"I never said you did," Addison smirks.
"I hardly know the girl, Addie."
"Then how she remind you of me?"
"Four months is more than enough to determine that."
"It's only been three mo--" and Addison stops after she's counted the weeks since Izzie returned in her head. "It has been four months," Addison amends her mistake, "a few days ago marked four months. Have you been counting the days, Mark?"
Mark glances at her and chuckles at the proposition, "what do you take me for, Addison."
"Aw, Mark Sloan has it bad," Addison teases him.
"Addie…" he warns her and looks away.
"The doctor Mark Sloan is in love!"
He stands up abruptly which causes Addison to shut up immediately.
"I'm sorry," she sincerely apologizes, "this is a serious matter."
"It'll go away," Mark suddenly says.
"Oh Mark."
She truly feels sorry for him, and wishes he allowed himself to believe. She reaches for his hand and runs a thumb over it.
"Apologize to her."
"I'm not going to chase after her anymore, Addison."
"Just apologize," she counteracts. Mark studies her face but he doesn't commit to an answer. He just pulls his hand away and sits back down. After a few minutes of silence, Addison gets up and leaves his office, hoping he'll come around.
---
"When Addison left," he begins, "I swore up and down that she'd come back with the realization that I was right along. That I was the right guy for her all along."
She stands stone-faced against the wall to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic as Mark speaks.
"But she didn't come back for me. She came back for herself and just happened to fall for Karev of all people. It sucked--seeing them together. For awhile there, I just waited for the ball to drop, for him to break her heart all over again. But she was happy, Stevens, and all those threats I gave him hardly phased him. He didn't let them get to him."
He looks her over and waits for her to at least interrupt him or attempt to move away from him. She does neither. He goes on.
"Derek's the only friend that's ever mattered. The people I knew and set up I had ready back in New York never mattered if Derek wasn't there. But even with that, I don't know why I stayed here. I wasn't really waiting for anything other than Addison, and when that didn't happen, I still stayed because it was better than nothing."
"So it was either Addison or anything?" she finally speaks with a scoff.
"I stopped loving her a long time ago, Izzie. I was just hoping I'd feel that love again. I always knew that was a less than likely chance, though."
"So it was a all about Derek in the end. He's your family. I get that."
"Yeah. But there was also something telling me I had to wait. Every time I thought about opening my practice back up in New York, something else came up. Another case, another Derek and Meredith crisis, another pretty blond to keep me occupied."
He sees her bite her lip.
"At least until the right pretty blond came along."
"Save it, Sloan."
That's his cue to shut and let her walk away, but he's had plenty of practice in waiting by now, so that's what he does--he waits.
---
It takes three weeks, but she comes around. She listens to him explain that she reminded him of Addison long ago, and that he still notices their similarities--but that's not what he was drawn to. They're different women and he respects that. Even their similarities, he says, are different because of the way they carry their objectives out.
At Addison's baby shower, Mark sits back and revels in that stupid circle that never came to fruition. Addison never ended up back in his arms, Izzie didn't end up waiting for Alex to get his act together, Alex never left Addison abandoned on an important date, and he hasn't nor intends on cheating on Izzie.
At Addison's baby shower, Izzie laughs maybe a little too loudly in Mark's ear while she wraps her arms around his shoulders. She gazes at Alex who's rolling his eyes at the latest present Addison's unwrapped (he never was one for cheesy parties), then looks at Addison who hugs the little baby girl clothing to her chest. In two weeks, Addison and Alex will finally be able to hold the baby girl they fell in love with through an incubator. And despite his eye rolling, Izzie knows Alex has finally found a compromise he doesn't begrudge one bit.
At Addison's baby shower (honestly, he doesn't know the point of the baby shower since the baby was born three weeks ago to a mother who was slowly dying, but knew that Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Karev could care for that little girl more than anyone else), Alex rips open the last present, shoves it towards Addison and tells everyone "gift time" is over. He begins packing away the gifts, but lets Addison hold onto the little dress awhile longer because it's making her smile like a damn fool, and he'd be…well a damn fool to take that away from her.
At her baby shower (she didn't really think Alex would allow her this indulgence, but when he complied to it she was too surprised to pull out of the baby shower), Addison stares at the small white dress with pink stars on the skirt of it one last time before folding it away with the rest of the things. As the crowd disperses, she looks over to Mark who's holding Izzie against him as he nibbles on her cheek and she chats away with Meredith. He constantly throws glares at Meredith and keeps trying to tickle Stevens, apparently in an attempt to get her away from Meredith. A soft smile plays on Izzie's lips, and Addison reaches out for Alex's hand. People don't come in twos, but knowing that the most important people in her life have found the second part of them were people to come in twos, makes her search out for the reassuring hand that will help in raising their own little batgirl.
Alex takes her hand and kisses her knuckles.
"Come on, babe," he whispers, which earns him a punch on his shoulder.
"Don't call me that," Addison chastises him. She gives him a secondary glare before using his shoulder as leverage for her to get off the floor, and heads towards the kitchen to presumably put away the unfinished food.
Alex rubs his shoulder and collapses on the floor. He's laying there for about a minute when he feels Izzie brush lay down right next to him.
"I'm going to tell your daughter our story one day," Izzie announces.
"Why?"
"So she'll know what to look for and what not to look for."
"You never make any sense, Iz."
That earns him another punch.
"Just watch, Alex. Because of our huge ordeal, yours and Addison's, and mine and Mark's, she'll be a little more informed than most about knowing what's right and what's not."
"Isn't that something she should learn on her own?"
"Alex," Izzie stares at him with a cocked eyebrow, "do you really want your daughter rifling through all those me--"
"Fine, but don't tell her too much."
"Deal," Izzie sticks out her hand.
Alex smirks and shakes her hand. Alex then raises his eyes and watches as Mark leans over to swoop Izzie up.
"Mark!" Izzie yelps.
"I've waited long enough, woman," he grunts as he picks her up. When he's finally managed to stand upright as she lays in his arms, she wriggles in his lock and pushes herself off from him.
"Don't do that again," she demands. But she takes his hand, waves to Alex, and heads off with him.
When Addison finally returns to the living room, Alex has fallen asleep on the floor while scraps of wrapping paper still lays on the floor near him. There aren't any pillows, but there's a throw on the couch she does get and pulls over herself as she rests her head on his chest. If he gets cold during the night, he can always pull her closer (but if he attempts to grab the small blanket from her, he'll get it in the morning, and even in his sleep he knows that). She is, after all, his home, as he is hers.