The Right Thing

He hadn't seen her in months, but he hadn't thought of much besides her since he'd seen her last. He didn't want to dwell, but she was really affecting his concentration. He was trying to get one of his works published, but everything he wrote lately was about her, either directly or indirectly.

Everything he wrote came off like a bad teen romance novel; boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl finds another boy, then meets first boy again while still dating second boy, then leaves, leaving first boy thinking of her. He knew she wouldn't like that she had left him like this. If she knew, she would be overcome with guilt that she had gone to see him, even though it was by his invitation.

Losing her again bothered him, but it wasn't the only thing that did. It wasn't just that she was no longer his girlfriend, but whose she now was, that bothered him the most. Why had she fallen for that jerk? He wasn't the kind of person he could see with her. He was an arrogant snob, with money coming out of his ears. Why had she fallen for him? Did she like him for his money? He frowned, displeased with himself that the thought had even gone through his head. That wasn't Rory. She wasn't that shallow. She was, in fact, one of the deepest people he had ever known. But what did she see in him? Why had she chosen Logan over him?

It wasn't as if he could call her and talk to her. He couldn't see her. He doubted he'd see her again any time in the near future. It would be inappropriate. He knew he couldn't see her as a friend, because he wanted her for so much more than that. So it was left at that; he just couldn't see her.

He couldn't help thinking about why she loved Logan more than she loved him. He couldn't help thinking that maybe, just maybe, she did still love him, but since she was already with Logan, she wouldn't leave him. Rory always seemed to be in the position where she had to choose, and when it happened, she never seemed to choose Jess. First it had been Dean, now it was Logan.

It was late. He knew he should go to bed. He'd been up later than usual, trying to write yet again, without the results he wanted, yet again. He gave it up for the night and lay down on top of his bed and closed his eyes. After thinking about her for awhile, he fell asleep.

"Jess Mariano!"

"What? Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"I came to grant you one wish."

"What? Why is there a creepy voice over guy in my bedroom?"

"I can, and will, revoke your wish if you call me creepy again."

"Okay. One wish. Can I wish for anything, or are there specific guidelines on what I can and cannot wish for?"

"Anything. Anything at all."

"Okay. Hmm…"

"What do you want?"

"Well, there's this girl…"

"Do you want her to love you forever?"

"Well, yes, but I can't wish for that, she has a boyfriend."

"You want her to dump him for you?"

"I can't wish for that either, I think she really loves him."

"Do you want her to stop loving him?"

"I can't wish for that!"

"You can wish for anything."

"I won't wish for that. I just, I can't get her off my mind. I can't think straight. My career is suffering."

"You want to stop thinking about her?"

"No, I don't think I want that either, I like thinking about her."

"Well, I can't read your mind, that would be creepy. I can only grant the wish you tell me to grant. But I know you want something. If there was nothing you wanted, I wouldn't be here."

"One more day."

"What?"

"I want one more day, twenty-four romantic hours with her."

"I can do that."

"So do it."

"I need to know her name."

"Rory Gilmore. Or, Lorelai Gilmore. Does it have to be her full name? Because she goes by Rory."

"I know who you mean. Done."

When he awoke the next morning, he couldn't stop thinking about what he'd dreamt. One more day. Satisfying? In the moment, yes, but as soon as the day was over, he knew he'd be left wishing for another. It wouldn't work, even if a creepy voice over guy really could grant him a wish.

Logan was gone. She missed him. She couldn't help thinking of what he was doing in Europe. Had he met any girls there? She didn't want to be jealous, but she couldn't help thinking that she didn't fully trust him. What would he do without her there?

He hadn't recently done anything to earn this distrust. He had called her almost every day since he had gone, almost a month ago now. What was she worried about? If she didn't trust him, why was she still with him? She thought she loved him, but what was love without trust? And why didn't she trust him?

She couldn't help thinking about someone, in the back of her mind. She'd seen him a few months ago, but not once since. He was smart, in certain ways smarter than Logan. He was physically attractive, but something about his personality drew her in much more than the way he looked. They clicked. When she was around him, she always had something to say. That was usually true too of Logan, but not always, and not in quite the same way. She couldn't explain it, but that was the way it was with him. He was trustworthy. He didn't used to be, not when she'd first known him, when she'd first fallen in love with him, but now, now he was different. She knew she could trust him now, much more than she trusted Logan. And he was unpredictable, he had the same dangerous charm as Logan, but not unpredictable to the degree of mistrust.

Then there was another factor altogether, one that Rory knew shouldn't have as much impact as it did. Impact. Impact on what? My decision? I'm with Logan. There's nothing to decide. Still, she was enjoying thinking along the path that she was, although she knew she shouldn't have been. The factor was her mother. She didn't like Jess. She didn't like Logan either though, and Rory had the suspicion that she'd like Jess more than she did Logan. And Luke… Luke liked Jess, but he was his nephew. That added another weirdness factor altogether. Jess and Rory would soon be practically cousins. Step-cousins or something. Was there something wrong with dating your step-cousin? Or wanting to date your step-cousin? Was step-cousin even what Jess would be to her? That wasn't so important. But then again, why was any of it important?

I'm with Logan! We aren't breaking up. Why am I thinking about Jess? Why am I thinking about him like this?

She couldn't help thinking that it couldn't hurt to call him. He was her friend, and there wouldn't be anything wrong with talking to him.

Yes there is! I can't talk to him as a friend if I'm thinking about him like this!

But she could stop thinking about him like that and start thinking about him as a friend, at least long enough to have a conversation.

As soon as I hear his voice the feelings are going to come back. I can't think of him as a friend, I want him as more than that. But I can't have him as more than that. I can't break up with Logan because I think Jess might be better. I love Logan.

But did she? Did she love Logan? Did she love Jess? Did she love them both? Did she love one more than the other? She'd almost have to see them, talk to them both at once to know. But she couldn't do that. Logan was in Europe. Besides, the last time they were together didn't work out well. And then… that night she had definitely liked Jess better. Logan could at times be… well, a jerk. She didn't want to date a jerk. But then it wasn't about who she liked, was it? It was about who she loved. And she didn't want to leave Logan just because she thought she might like, or even love, Jess more. It wasn't fair to him, to either of them, and it wasn't fair to her either. What if she did love Logan? What if she didn't love Jess?

Maybe, she thought, she was thinking too much. Maybe if she just thought less… But she liked that she thought things through, that was one of the things that she liked about herself. But this, she realized, was over-thinking things again. Maybe if I just don't think. I'll just… do.

But then she found herself wandering, un-thinking, to the phone. She found herself dialing the number that she knew she shouldn't have committed to memory. She found the voice picking up that she knew should be picking up, although it shouldn't have had to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Yea, hi. Is it weird to date your step-cousin?"

"Rory?"
"Jess."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just a question."

"I think… no. Maybe a little, but there's no direct relation…" he trailed off. "Wait, you're still dating Logan, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you call?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to break up with Logan?"

"I don't know."

"Where is Logan?"

"I don't know." She said, continuing the pattern. And, in a way, it was semi-true, she didn't know exactly where he was. But for Rory, it was too much like a lie. "Yes I do. London."

"What's he doing there?"

"His dad sent him there. For a year."

"Why?"

"I don't know, to grow up, sort of."

"Okay… But you're still together?"

"Yea."

"And you don't know why you called?"

"No, I wasn't thinking, I was just… acting."

"Okay. Well. Okay. Now what?"

"I don't know. You still in New York?"

"Yep. You still in Star's Hollow?"

"Yale currently."

"New Haven. Right. I should have known that."

"Why?"

"Well, I know you go to Yale."

"Right."

"So… have you talked to Logan recently?"

"Two days ago… why?"

"Just… curious."

"I don't know… where he is."

"You told me he was in London."

"Yea, he is in London, but I don't know… specifically. I don't know who he's with, or what he's doing now, or what he's doing… at night, when he doesn't call me, when he isn't talking to me, or why he doesn't have time to call me every night…"

"You don't trust him. You think he's cheating on you."

"No, I don't think he would… but I don't know… for sure."

"Rory, why did you call me?" Jess asked, sounding a little annoyed. "If you're still dating Logan, I can't do much for you."

"You're my friend. We can be… friends."

His tone softened a little. "Rory," he said. "I don't think we can be friends. I… I want you for more than that, I think of you as more than that, and I just don't think I can be… less. I can't think of you as… as a friend. I want to, but I can't. I wouldn't be a good friend because, well, I don't think of you as a friend. I don't think I ever will."

"Me either."

"What?"

"I don't think of you as a friend either."

"Then why did you call?"

"I don't trust Logan."

"So?" he sounded annoyed again. "I can't help you. Call Lane. Do you still talk to Lane? Or Lorelai, call her."

"I trust you."

He was quiet for a moment, as was she. Finally, he sighed. "Bye Rory."

"Bye," she nearly whispered, just before she heard a soft click.

Rory sat at her desk, hand poised over a piece of notebook paper as if she was going to write. She couldn't do what she felt that she had to do over the phone. A letter seemed easier, and, in a way, more personal. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of what she'd write, for she wasn't at all sure that she wanted to do it, and she wasn't sure that she should do it. Nevertheless, she did it, and though she cried, it felt right.

Dear Logan,

While you're in London, I feel it only fair that we see other people. I'm sure you'd be happier this way. Maybe when you come home we can see each other again, but for now I think it will be better for both of us if we aren't attached. Please see my way of thinking, I really think it's better this way. I hope you understand why I feel that I have to do this. I miss you, but this is really what I want.

Very Sincerely,

Rory

Rory sealed the envelope, pressed down the fold to make sure it stuck, addressed the envelope, stamped it, and sent it. After dropping it in the mailbox, she felt not an ounce of regret.

As he read the letter he'd just received, Logan couldn't believe what he was reading. Had he done something wrong? Did she really think he'd be happier if he could see other girls? Would she really be happy seeing other guys?

Somehow he had to get in touch with her. He had to talk to her, to make her understand that her letter was very much inaccurate. He called her three times and got no answer. One of the times he left a message.

"Hi Rory, it's me. Logan. I know I'm calling long-distance to talk to your answering machine, but… well, it's worth it. I want you to know that I don't want to see other people, and I hope that you share the feeling. I hope you're not doing this because you think it's what I want, because it isn't. I just want to date you, no one else. Okay? Please call me back, I want to talk to you."

His message got no reply. He e-mailed and even text-messaged her and got no response. Then he tried the method she'd used, and hand wrote her a letter.

Dear Rory,

I love you and I miss you. I don't want for us to break up. I don't believe that I would be happier free to date other people, and I can't speak for both of us, but I hope that you feel the same way. I hope I haven't done anything to upset you, and I hope that you'll reply with a call, letter, e-mail or other communication device of your choice to let me know what I've done and how I can put it right. Again, I miss you, I love you, and I don't think that "very sincerely" was an appropriate way to end your letter.

LOVE,

Logan

So well thought out was his letter that it was very unfortunate that she never read it. She'd been ignoring his calls, deleting his e-mails and text messages, and she threw out his letter without even opening it. As yet she'd told no one that she'd broken up with him, not even her mother, who'd likely have been inwardly thrilled.

After mailing her letter, she'd called Paris and asked to move back in with her and Doyle. They had an extra room, and were happy to have someone else to split the cost with again. She'd told Paris that she didn't like living in Logan's apartment without him there, and that was all the reason Paris needed. Normally she'd have asked questions, but she actually liked living with Rory, although she might not have openly admitted it.

Almost a month later, Logan's calls, messages, letters and e-mails stopped. That was when she made her move, uncharacteristic of her though it might have been. It started with a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jess."

"Rory…"

"Before you say anything, Logan and I are broken up."

"Really? Sorry. When?"

"And the return of the characteristic one word sentences."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. You can say more in one word than some can in a twelve-page monologue. And a month ago, we broke up a month ago."

It seemed to Jess that he should ask Rory what had happened between her and Logan, but he didn't, as he really didn't care as long as she was now single, and he'd always hated when people asked questions that they didn't care what the answers were. Instead, he said nothing, and let Rory speak again.

"So, now I'm single, and you're single," she said, beating around the bush, "aren't you?"

"Well, one of the girls I wrote is really trying to get me, and I'm thinking about letting her." This, Rory didn't realize, was only half-sarcastic, as all of Jess's recent female main characters were based, at least loosely, on Rory.

"Can you let her down softly?"

"I don't know Rory, she's really hot."

"Oh, since when are you a shallow guy?" she asked playfully.

"Remember Shane?"

"I try not to," she said quickly.

"Right. Moving on. Any days in the future without classes, or other such commitments?"

"Saturday's looking pretty clear to me. You?"

"Saturday. I don't know, today's Thursday, that only gives me two days to prepare…"

"What is there to prepare?"

"Nothing. New York or New Haven?"

"New York sounds more interesting."

"Okay, then be here as soon as you can. You know where I live, right?"

"Yep."

"Good."

"Good," she said. "You know, now that we're finally working this out, making it work between us, it seems almost… unreal. You know?"

"Yea. Well, I'll see you Saturday."

"Yes you will. Bye."

"Bye."

"Jess, this is really nice. I've always pictured New York as, I don't know, apartment buildings and hot dog stands, but this…"

"It's no hot dog stand, but the food's pretty good."

The couple was surrounded by a white tablecloth Italian restaurant. The food was rated to be among the best in the city, and Rory agreed with the rating. "Take me here instead of a hot dog stand any day," she said lightly. "But seriously Jess, this has to be expensive. You're sure you don't want me to pay for half or something?"

"No way. This is a date. I'm supposed to pay. Besides, I wouldn't have taken you here if I couldn't afford it. And it's sort of a celebratory occasion. I submitted another book to this publishing company a few months ago, and they like it. They want to publish it, hardcover."

"Wow," she said, happy for him. "That's really impressive. What's it about?"

"You'll just have to read it when it comes out."

"I will. As soon as it comes out."

"You'll be the first person to read it."

"Good. Good, I mean, I'd like to be the first, after you of course, and I guess the publishers, and, your editor, I guess…"

He smiled slightly. "Ready to get out of here?" he asked her.

"When you are."

"Let's go." Having already paid, he left a tip and they walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand.

They walked toward Jess's apartment for awhile in silence. Then Jess said quietly, "I've really missed you."

"I've really missed you, too," Rory said, in the same tone of voice, not quite a whisper.

They both stopped walking for a moment, and Jess leaned in for a kiss. Rory followed, and when they pulled away, she leaned back in to continue.

As they neared Jess's apartment, he asked, "So are you going to head back to New Haven tonight? Because you're welcome to stay the night, if you want.

"It is kind of late. Maybe I could stay. I could sleep on your couch, right?"

"I could sleep on my couch."

"No Jess, it's your apartment. You don't have to sleep on the couch because I'm here. I don't mind. Really."

"We could both…"

"No. It's too early. This is our first date. Sort of. It's the first date of… do you know what I mean? We're starting over now, so, it's sort of our first date."

"But it isn't. I already know you, you already know me."

"I've changed, you've changed, since we last knew each other. I think we need to… get to know each other again, before we take this much further."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Isn't that what you want?" Jess asked, confused.

"It is, I just… I didn't think you'd agree. Not so quickly."

"You know what? Now that I finally have you back, I'll agree with whatever you want me to."

They leaned in again and kissed, then after a long moment, leaned out again, slowly. Then Rory said, quietly and almost playfully, "I want you to let me sleep on the couch."

"See, you know how there's an exception to every rule? That's the exception."

They walked up the stairs to Jess's apartment, and Rory seemed to let it go at that. She borrowed one of the larger of Jess's shirts to wear as pajamas, and proceeded to get ready for bed.

She met Jess out in the hallway, and said, as if it wasn't an issue, "Now I'm going to go sleep on the couch."

"No you're not. I'm going to sleep on the couch. You're going to sleep in my bed. I changed the sheets on it for you, so it's clean and everything."

"Jess, it's your house. If I sleep in your bed, I'm being a burden. I don't want to be a burden. I just want to crash here until tomorrow morning. I'll be perfectly comfortable on the couch."

"Rory first of all, you're never a burden, and besides that, you know how I wouldn't let you pay for half of dinner? It's the same deal. Now, I'm going to sleep on the couch, and you're going to sleep in my bed."

"You are almost as stubborn as my mother."

"And you're not stubborn at all," he said, with a sarcastic grin.

"I'm sleeping on the couch," she said threateningly, walking toward the living room.

"No, you aren't." They both got to the couch and sat down on it at the exact same time.

Rory yawned. "Jess," she said, "I'm tired. I had an early class this morning, and after it I came straight here. Now, it's late, and I want to go to sleep, but I'm not leaving this couch."

"Neither am I."

Rory stretched out a little and laid her head on one of the couch pillows to make her point, and Jess did the same. Both with their heads on different ends of the couch, neither moving, Rory soon fell asleep. Jess wanted to do the same, but found his position rather uncomfortable, with his legs hanging off of the couch, and Rory the same way, but he didn't want to wake Rory up, nor did he want to go sleep in his bed and have her win the argument. He settled on gently moving Rory so that her head rested on his side with a pillow between them, and eventually fell asleep with her lying on him.

When Rory awoke, she found that Jess was still asleep and hadn't moved, but that she'd moved so that she was sleeping on him. She got up, careful so as not to wake him, got the clothes that she had worn yesterday from a back room, went into the bathroom and changed. By the time she'd finished changing, Jess was awake.

"Sleep well?" he asked her.

"Yea, alright. You?"

"Alright. You can stay awhile today if you want. Do you?"

"I guess I could. I have to head back to New Haven a little after lunch though."

They ate breakfast, complete with coffee that Jess had made well, even to Rory's high standards, and then mostly hung out and talked until lunchtime. They ordered a pizza for lunch, and after that Rory had to go.

"We should do this again sometime," Jess said as he walked Rory toward the door.

"Sometime soon," she said.

"I'll call you."

"Tomorrow, okay? I have a test tomorrow morning and tonight I have to study."

"I won't bother you. I promise."

"Not that you'd be bothering me, but if you called I'd most likely talk to you for a long time, and I wouldn't get any studying done."

"I understand, Rory."

"Good. Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

They kissed goodbye, and Rory got into her car, and couldn't remember the last time she'd been as content as she was in the time that it took for her to drive home.

Rory was in her room studying when the doorbell rang. Paris and Doyle weren't home, so she had to stop what she was doing to answer the door. When she opened the door, she was very surprised at who she found on the other side.

"Logan."

"Rory."

"What are you doing here?"

"You wouldn't return my calls. Or my e-mails, or my letters, or anything else. What was there left to do? I had to come here."

"You didn't… have to."

"I don't want to see other people. I want to see you."

"How did you get here? Aren't you supposed to be in London?"

"I flew…?"

"I mean, how did you… isn't your dad going to kill you?"

"Not knowing why you did what you did was killing me worse than my father ever could."

"Logan, we're broken up."

"No, see, we're not. You said you wanted us to see other people, but I never agreed."

"You can't have a one-sided relationship."

"Rory, why? Did I do something? Tell me, because I want to know if I did. I love you, and I want to fix…"

"I'm with… someone else."

"You…"

"I didn't cheat on you, we're broken up."

"Rory…" Logan didn't know what to say. "I'll see you later," he said, turning away. "Or maybe… maybe I won't."

Rory watched him walk away, and when he was down the stairs and out of sight, she went back into her bedroom, sat on her bed, and cried.

What she had done was so unlike her. But she wasn't sorry she'd done it. She was sorry for how she'd done it, but she didn't know how she could have done it better. It was clear to her, after seeing Logan again, that she didn't love him, and that she did love Jess. On an impulse, she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jess? I love you."

"I love you too, Rory. Now finish studying."

With that she hung up, and the tears subsided, as she knew that she had done the right thing. Then she picked up her book and actually did finish studying.