A/N: This is my first fan-fic. There's a ton of post-Always stories out there but who wouldn't be inspired by the s4 finale. Besides, it's a long time until September.
It was still dark when Rick opened his eyes. From the muted sounds of the city far below, he could tell it was early. He slowly turned his head to look at the clock on the bedside table to see that it was only 4.00am. Looking down he could see Kate asleep, head on his chest, arm across his body. Rick couldn't help but look at her with awe and wonder – that she was there, in his arms, in his bed. The arm holding her tightened as if to make sure she couldn't disappear and letting the tiredness reclaim him, he drifted back into sleep.
Three hours later Rick awoke again, startled to find himself alone in the bed. Slightly panicked, he sat up and looked around the bedroom. Kate was nowhere to be seen but her clothes were still lying strewn on the bedroom floor where they'd been discarded in haste the night before. Relieved that it hadn't been a dream, that she hadn't changed her mind and left already, Rick laid back for a moment. Rising he pulled on his robe and walked out to the living room. Looking around he saw her, standing there in nothing but his shirt, looking out the windows over the city. She looked lost in thought and he walked up behind her without her even noticing.
"Kate" he said quietly, hesitantly, gently resting his hand on her shoulder.
"Hey Castle", she replied, turning as she said it with a smile on her face that reflected everything that had passed between them during the night.
Bringing his lips down, he kissed her once, lightly before pulling back so he could see her face. Reassured by what he saw there, he kissed her again, putting his arms around her and drawing her closer to him. The kiss was gentle, tender, but filled with all the emotion of the past few weeks when he thought it was over between them, only to have her come to him at last.
When the kiss ended, each of them drew back, just looking at the other, marvelling in them being there, together.
"For a moment there when I woke up, I thought you'd left", Rick said at last.
"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't mean to worry you", Kate replied.
"It's okay, you're here, that's all that matters."
Smiling, she asked, "Do you want coffee? I put it on just before you came out."
"Sure, but will you tell me about yesterday?", Rick asked, needing to know more about what brought her to him, to understand, and to try and discern whether he could lose her again.
A shadow flitted across her face, barely noticeable, but she nodded and moved away to get the coffee.
By unspoken agreement they took the coffee into the living room so they could sit together on the couch, holding hands while she recounted the previous day's events.
"After you left my apartment," Kate started, then stopped, squeezing Rick's hand and looking up at him with the knowledge of, and regret for, all the pain she'd caused him showing on her face. Remembering, Rick looked away, wrestling with his own emotions before looking down at their entwined hands. Returning her squeeze, he looked up, waiting for Kate to continue.
"I went back to the 12th where Esposito and Ryan had found the sniper in the car rental files and used GPS to track his car. Javi and I went after him – I was so caught up in getting this guy, I ignored Kevin's warnings to tell Gates and take backup. I thought I could handle it. We found the hotel room where he was staying but he wasn't there. We thought we'd found what the sniper was looking for in Captain Montgomery's files and were leaving when he ambushed us. He knocked Javi out first and then pushed me over before heading up to the roof of the building. My second bad decision of the day was chasing after him. He snuck up on me and I fought back but he was just too strong, too well trained." Kate paused, thinking how to tell him the next part. "Then he grabbed me and threw me off the roof".
Kate looked up in time to see the shock and horror on Castle's face as he imagined her body on the ground, broken and bleeding, at the bottom of some high-rise. Reaching up with her free hand, she placed her palm on his cheek, reassuring him, "It's okay, I'm here".
"He threw you off the building?", Rick questioned, disbelieving that it was worse than he'd even imagined.
"Yes, but I was able to grab the edge as I started to fall", Kate replied. "I don't know why he didn't just finish the job. He could have, but he walked away. Maybe he figured I wouldn't be able to hang on for long. And he was right. I was hanging there, losing my grip, unable to get a foothold or pull myself up. I was sure that I was going to die this time but as I was hanging there all I could think of was you, what I'd put you through, what I'd missed out on by not being able to accept what you had been offering all this time. When I heard a voice calling my name, I was sure it was you, coming to my rescue as you'd done so many times before. You've always been there and I guess I have taken that for granted, but I was so sure it was you. Then just as I lost my grip on the edge, hands grabbed me and pulled me to safety."
Lost in the moment, Kate didn't see Rick's reaction as he saw in his writer's mind, Kate losing her grip and falling, only to be caught at the last moment by hands reaching down from above. He knew that the story wasn't finished, but he couldn't wait any longer. Reaching out, his fingers on her chin, he brought her face upwards, shocking her as she saw the intensity of his emotions reflected in his eyes. Bringing his lips to hers, he kissed her, not gently this time, but with a fierce need, a hunger born of fear and shock and disbelief. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Kate let Rick take what he needed, and she gave in return, healing his pain. Finally breaking the kiss, Kate held him in her arms, his head on her chest, providing the strength and support he'd so often tried to give her in the past.
Without breaking the embrace, Kate continued, needing to finish the story. "When they pulled me off the roof, I was so sure it was you I'd heard calling but it was Kevin who saved me. You weren't there and in that moment I think I finally realised that you weren't coming back, that I'd finally driven you away. But Gates was there and she hauled Javi and I back to the precinct, chewed us out for screwing up and withholding information and put us both on administrative leave." Without giving Castle time to react to this news, Kate continued, "But as I took my badge out to give to her I realised that she was right, I'd let this case define me, let it take over and make me ignore what being a cop meant, put my friends at risk, and drove you away. So I told her to keep the badge and I resigned."
With that, Kate stopped as Rick drew back and looked at her in amazement, "You quit your job?" he queried, thinking that he'd misheard her.
Kate nodded in response.
Rick continued to look at Kate, not believing that she had quit her job, her life. He had to know, "How do you feel about it now?"
Kate thought for a moment before answering. "It feels strange to think that I won't be a cop anymore. I've let it define me for so long now, it's almost like I don't know who I am without it."
"Do you regret it?", he asked.
"No", she replied immediately.
Looking into her eyes, he could see she was telling the truth. He was finally seeing Kate as he'd always wanted, open and honest, holding nothing back. But he felt that there was still more that she hadn't told him. "What happened between when you resigned and when you turned up here?", he asked.
She smiled at him then, and he nearly forgot that he wanted to hear the rest of the story. All he wanted to do then was take her in his arms and make love to her again. But instead he waited for her to answer.
Keeping her eyes on his, she replied. "I went home but I needed to think through everything that I was feeling and I couldn't do it there; the memories of the other day when I sent you away were too close, too strong there, and I couldn't get past that to think about anything else. So I went for a walk and found myself at the playground where we sat on the swings that day. It was raining but I didn't care, I just sat there, wanting you there with me, thinking that I may have lost the best thing in my life. All I could think of was you, and how I didn't want to waste this chance I'd been given to change my life, to know what could be if I would only let it.
And as I sat there I realised that I had to let you know I was wrong, that I shouldn't have pushed you away. I rang when I got downstairs, I'm not sure why, maybe to test the waters. I guess I wasn't surprised when you didn't answer. I was just hoping I hadn't left it too late. And when you opened the door you looked so angry, I almost lost hope but you've put yourself on the line for me before; I knew I had to try to make things right."
At that she stopped, and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered the hurt she had caused. He reached out and gently wiped it away, and she reached up to hold his hand there against her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Rick", she whispered, repeating her words from the night before. "I'm so sorry I hurt you like that".
"Shhh", he whispered, moving in to kiss her tenderly, deepening the kiss as she responded, leaning in to him, their bodies pressing together, shifting until they were lying next to each other on the couch.
He didn't think he would ever get enough of being here with her, like this, together in every way. He couldn't stop touching her, feeling her beneath him, feeling her touch him in return. As he looked into her eyes, and saw his love reflected back at him, he knew that they would be together, always.