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The Houseguest
Adam lay on his bed in the dark considering the situation. That night was the third night in a row that she had come to him after the rest of the house was asleep and although he had reached groaning satisfaction, his body still desired her hungry mouth and soft hands, the cool smoothness of her skin as she moved against him. He sighed in his misery and rolled onto his belly; it would be another sleepless night and if it was going to be anything like the previous two, before the sun rose, he would take himself in hand while envisioning her as she had looked beneath him. Oh, for a woman like her in his bed every night!
But Adam was confused, having never been in a situation like this one. Her name was Errol Fontaine. She was gracious and pleasant to his father and brothers and although Joe and Hoss fell all over her pretty blonde cousin, Caroline Sims, each one vying to win her favor, Errol seemed not to mind the lack of attention. Actually, as Adam observed, she sat back and watched Caroline and her two suitors with a sense of amusement and even exchanged humorous, albeit it, sarcastic remarks with Joe. But with Hoss, Errol was kind; Hoss was open and friendly to her and she responded with gentleness. Adam observed that he, himself, was the only one who received her apparent disdain and he hoped, the only one to receive her body.
Errol's aunt and uncle, Morton and Margaret Sims, had brought their daughter and Errol, their niece, out west for a visit, San Francisco being their final destination before they returned home to Boston. From what Adam learned by having sat up late with his father and Morton Wagner the first night they had arrived, Caroline had been seeing a young upstart who seemed far too interested in her father's bank account, having made inquiries in town before he came to call; it would be a misalliance, her parents were sure. Besides, Caroline was such a silly thing that her head could easily be turned. And then Ben had mentioned that she was so very pretty it was she who turned heads – Joe's and Hoss' as, he was sure, they had observed. They had all laughed and Adam agreed that Caroline certainly was a pretty girl.
"Yes, Caroline is a beauty but as you observed Adam, a girl," Morton said, sipping his drink of Ben Cartwright's best French cognac. "And although I knew you have three sons, that isn't why we stopped here. It was to see you, Ben. I always knew you'd do well. But if Caroline marries one of your sons, both Meg and I would be happy."
Ben chuckled. "I'd be happy too."
Adam asked about Miss Fontaine and he realized that his heartbeat stepped up when he mentioned her. Just speaking about her caused his whole being to become tense.
"Are you trying to marry her off as well?"
She was the one whom Adam admired. Errol had dark eyes and a gentle beauty and at the stage depot, she had glanced at him as she had stepped off the coach. Adam had tipped his hat and smiled. Errol had stared at him, her mouth slightly open, looked away, and then basically ignored him all the way to the Ponderosa. He had asked a few questions to make conversation as he drove the buggy but his father asked most of them since the Simses were old friends from Boston; it was in that way that Adam learned a little about Errol. She piqued his interest and the rest of the evening as they sat about drinking coffee after dinner, he had tried to draw her into conversation but she spoke little. Errol asked about books to read during her visit and Ben offered her the free use of any of his books and then referred to Adam, noting he had shelves full of books in his room.
Adam offered to suggest some, to allow her to peruse them and pick whatever she liked, but she declined, basically brushing him off as politely as she could. Adam just answered that if she changed her mind, to let him know but he hadn't really known how to react. He was angry but he was also hurt. How dare she treat him this way? She was a guest in their home and he had tried to be hospitable and friendly and she practically spat at him. But apparently no one else noticed because the conversation went on and it was Adam who became dark and withdrawn.
"No," Morton Sims said, his face turning serious. "My wife and I, well, we've been Errol's guardians since her parents died when she was only twelve. It was a hard blow – to us all as my wife and her sister were very close, very close. But Errol was surprisingly easy to raise – quiet and more or less, a homebody, even at a young age.
"One of my junior partners came to dinner one night and that was it – they proved fond of one another. Of course, for propriety's sake, the courtship had to be at least for a year before they became engaged. Well, I must be boring you with all these details…"
"No, no," Adam said, "you're not boring me." He noticed his father looking at him, his brows raised.
"Well, although I'm sure she'd be upset if she finds out I told you, but, well, her fiancé of two years was killed in a foolish accident – foolish and useless- and then she just…it was like she went into a darkness. My wife and I both feared she'd never return to life, I mean, she became a recluse and rarely left the house and it was all we could do to convince her to accompany us on this trip. The main reason she agreed was to keep Caroline company. But like Meg said to me earlier, it appears the trip is working its magic; for the first time in months, Errol is smiling and her sense of humor has returned."
Sims went on to say that their hope was, that despite the fact that Errol had said she was through with the idea of love, that one day she would meet a nice young man and be happy; people in Boston were actually beginning to refer to her as a spinster. After all, she was 25 now-far too old to be considered of marriageable age.
"Well, you can have any of my sons. I'd love for one of them to marry and have my grandchildren," Ben said, only half joking, and Morton Sims laughed. But Adam began thinking of ways he could possibly charm Errol and win her over.
~ 0 ~
The first night Errol had come to him, Adam was surprised when a gentle hand on his shoulder waked him. He had quickly rolled over and looked up; Errol was standing by his bed. She pulled off her gown and tossed it to the end of his bed. It took him a few moments to realize that he wasn't dreaming and he asked, "What is it?"
Errol simply raised the sheet and crawled underneath. Adam knew then what she wanted. He spoke her name but without a word, she climbed on top of him, grasping him and lowering herself on his erection. He gasped. The only sounds she made were those of longing and pleasure as she rocked her hips with him deep inside her. Adam watched her as she moved and felt himself pushed to the edge but held back until finally, she cried out and slumped over and rolled off of him. She pushed aside the sheet and was going to swing her legs over when he pulled her back with an arm about her waist.
"Where are you going, Errol? Stay with me a while longer. We can talk." He tried to pull her into an embrace but she pushed away.
"Let me go." Adam did. She reached for her gown and he watched the length of her narrow back, her hair falling about her shoulders. Standing by the bed, Errol raised her arms and slipped her gown over her head and then it fell and she was covered. He called to her again as she went to the door, but she left without looking back and Adam couldn't be certain that it hadn't been a dream except that he still felt her slickness on him. She had been like a ghost, floating in and out of the room. And the next morning, Adam tried to see Errol alone and tell her what he felt, but she avoided him at breakfast and all that day, declining his offer for a ride about the Ponderosa or into town.
"Why don't you go?" Mrs. Sims asked as they all sat at the breakfast table, empty plates in front of them. "It'll do you good to get some fresh air. After all, we've been on trains and stages…"
"Yes, and I want to stay put for once," Errol replied with a conciliatory smile.
"But I'm going riding with both Hoss and Joe," Caroline added. "Come with us, Errol. It'll be fun! And Joe promised to take me to see Lake Tahoe. Maybe have a picnic, right, Joe?" Caroline smiled at Joe.
"Hey," Hoss said, frowning, "What's this picnic stuff? I ain't heard nothin' 'bout no picnic."
"That's because you don't need to know," Joe said.
"Well, if there's a picnic, I'm goin' along."
"I think," Ben said, "a few of my sons need to take care of Ponderosa business."
"Now, Pa," Joe said, in his most persuasive voice, and Adam smiled at his brothers arguing over who would squire Caroline about the Ponderosa and show her all its beauty and who would work mending fences. He glanced at Errol who was running a finger along the pattern of the lace tablecloth. Then she looked up, directly at him. Adam continued to stare at her – he wanted her to acknowledge him with a smile or a nod – something that indicated recognition of their intimacy. But there was nothing; Errol only excused herself and went upstairs.
Was it an indication that he was to follow her? The thought of lying with her during the day, letting the sunlight expose her body aroused him. He could visualize the rosy pink and paleness of her body. Adam pushed back his chair, saying he thought he'd change into work clothes and then check the fences so his brothers could spend the day lazing about on a picnic. Rushing up the stairs, Adam saw the door to the guest room which Errol and Caroline were sharing, was open. He looked inside but it was empty. He heard a sound from his own room and going there, Adam saw Errol at his bookcase, holding a book, flipping the pages.
"I could recommend something," he said quietly from the doorway, his voice sounding rough, as if he never spoke.
Errol looked up, surprised and embarrassed. "You said I could read anything. I suppose I should have asked permission but the idea only came to me once I was upstairs. Sorry." She shelved the book and started to leave.
Adam stepped forward and grabbed her arm. "Errol, we need to talk."
"Let me go, please." They stared at one another. Adam released her arm. She wasn't going to acknowledge their tryst at all.
~ 0 ~
That night, Adam wondered if Errol would come to him and he couldn't sleep for the thought. And Errol did. He sat up and watched while she raised her gown over her head and pulled it off. He held his breath as he saw her breasts rise with her movements and saw the dark triangle covering her mound. Without any conversation, he pulled her smooth body under him and she threw her legs around his waist and they copulated as two animals would, only interested in the basic need to rut. And afterwards, Adam tried to talk to her, to whisper in the dark about her beauty and how she made him heat up but she just said that she needed to go, to leave his bed.
"Please…stay a bit." Adam sat up and held her arm.
"I can't…I can't. Let me go -please let me go."
He released her arm and as before, she silently left.
That third evening the houseguests were there, Ben Cartwright gave a small party for his guests, Mr. and Mrs. Sims, their daughter, Caroline, and her cousin, if such a thing as a small party on the Ponderosa could be done. Joe and Hoss vied with each other for every dance with Caroline and the other young men who were there competed as well. Caroline smiled and chose which young man she wanted for each dance but Joe didn't mind as she smiled at him while being twirled about by her various partners.
"You might as well give up, Hoss," Joe said, smiling as he watched Caroline. "Notice how she keeps looking at me. Yep, it's me she has her bonnet set on."
"I ain't concedin' yet, Joe. I got at least another week and a lot can happen in a week."
Adam, standing near his brothers heard Hoss' words: "A lot can happen in a week"
But despite Caroline's great beauty, Adam wasn't interested in her, just in her dark-haired cousin with her lithe body who sat quietly and declined all the men, both young and old, who asked her to dance. Most of the evening, Errol spent talking to the other married or widowed women who sat out most of the dances. Ben, who felt that as the host, he should make certain all his guests had a pleasant time, asked Errol to dance but she also declined him but with a smile. Ben walked over to where Adam stood and mentioned that Caroline's cousin, Errol, was far too pretty to just sit there and watch; she should be having a good time dancing.
Adam didn't need his father's prompting-he had been biding his time.
"I agree, Pa, but she doesn't seem inclined. But I'll ask."
Adam walked toward her and as approached, Adam noticed that Errol seemed to become agitated; she knew he was going to ask her to dance, which he did, but she said, no, barely glancing up at him.
Adam started to walk away but reconsidered. She had been using him for her own pleasure – she hadn't come to him for his. Adam reached for Errol's hand and roughly pulled her up and next to him. Errol was surprised and tried to pull away but Adam held her closer, one arm firmly about her waist, his other hand clasping hers. He whispered that he much preferred feeling the smoothness of her skin to the smoothness of her silk dress. She glared at him but Adam just laughed and wouldn't let her go.
"You need to smile," he whispered in her ear, "or people will become suspicious of the two of us and then they might notice how hard you make me; you should at least pretend you're enjoying yourself for that reason alone. Why they might even suspect we're having sex."
Adam placed his cheek against her hair and he could feel her breathing step up; he was sure her heart was racing and the thought of her excitement and the closeness of her caused him to ache for her; he wanted to take her to the barn and have her in the straw. He could imagine what it would be like to throw her skirts up and push into her, to couple with her until she couldn't bear anymore.
When the dance was over, Adam released her to join the others in applauding the musicians and the other dancers. He noticed how flushed Errol was. Adam leaned sideways toward her. "Perhaps I can thank you for the dance later - in private. Maybe then the pleasure of this dance won't be just mine."
Errol glared at him, her chest heaving. "I wish I'd never…stay away from me," she hissed. Errol picked up her skirts and hurried across the room to her aunt who was filling a plate at the refreshment table. Adam watched her as she said something, touched her head, and her aunt looked concerned, nodding. And Errol turned and swept up the stairs, leaving the party behind.
Later that night, after all the guests had been seen off and the house locked up, Adam lay in bed, all his senses on edge, waiting, hoping to hear her hand on the doorknob. And then he heard it. He was out of bed when she entered the room - and he met her. He pushed the door to behind her and caught her up and covering her mouth with his to stifle her protestations, he carried her to the bed and this time, he took her. She moaned in pleasure, sliding her arms under his as he sweat over her, grasping his shoulders, pulling him to her while they lay together. And then, as she had the previous two nights, when they both lay exhausted from their violent actions, he held her, trying to get her to talk. But Errol refused and left to go back to the room she shared with her cousin. Again, Adam lay alone in the dark, left wanting her and reliving their encounter.
Although Adam had tried to keep her with him longer, had tried to talk to her, to have her explain her coldness to him during the day, Errol wouldn't. He had hoped to know if she cared about him at all, about the way he felt, but all she said was that if he didn't want her to come to him, she wouldn't - he had only to say so. Adam told her that he could barely make it through the day, waiting for the night when he would feel the heat of her body, that the day had become hateful to him because she was so cold to him. How, he had asked, could she be so passionate, so eager for him at night and want nothing to do with him during the day? But Errol had pushed his arms away and slipped her gown on and left his room without answering him. He heard the door catch and lay back down, not understanding what she wanted from him-if she wanted anything else from him except his hardness between her legs. If that was all, he could accept it; it would be difficult, but he felt that he could – after all, the houseguests would soon be leaving. He just wanted her to explain.
And once the sun was up, she rarely spoke to Adam except in polite, necessary conversation and barely looked at him. It was as though, Adam thought, she was just using him to service her. This must be what a whore feels like, Adam considered, just being used to satisfy another's needs. And then Adam wondered if Errol also went to Joe and Hoss at night after she left him-he knew she came straight to him after her cousin fell asleep-otherwise she would have about her that overpowering smell that whores had-a mixture of sweat and semen and female muskiness. But thinking about the possibility that she slept with all three of them made him rage inside.
And this night, after she had gone, Adam lay alone in his bed; nothing had gone as he had intended or desired. She had finished with him and left him and he still ached for her, for her mouth and the way she twined her arms around his neck and her wetness and smoothness as he slid into her. And he was afraid that she wouldn't come to him anymore after he tried to get her to stay longer with him, after he begged her to talk to him, to tell him why she treated him the way she did. He threw one arm over his eyes. What had he done?
The next morning at breakfast, Adam quietly ate and drank his coffee while glancing at Errol every few seconds-she never looked at him. Adam found it hard to believe that she could behave this way, so aloof and distant when just a few hours ago she had clung to him, cried in pleasure as he thrust into her and wrapped her legs around his neck as he pleased her. He thought of her high, firm breasts and her tight thighs and he felt himself become so aroused that he was afraid to leave the table when everyone else would-his excitement would be far too obvious. So, he poured himself another cup and started mentally ticking off his day's chores to distract himself.
But his attention riveted back to her when he heard her accept Hoss' offer to ride into town with him, Joe, and Caroline. They would spend the morning shopping and then all have lunch together. Hoss asked Adam to come but he looked at Errol; she seemed far too interested in what was left of her toast to even look at him, so Adam declined and said that someone had to stay behind to work. After they left, Adam sat and thought about the situation. He wanted Errol. Just the thought of the moist, warm spot between her legs, her tightness and her delight in him made his breath step up.
That afternoon they returned from town and Adam couldn't help but admire the way Errol held her head and how beautiful she looked. And while Joe swung Caroline down, Hoss helped Errol down. Adam carefully watched to see if anything passed between her and Hoss, but there was nothing he could detect. Hoss and Joe still jostled and elbowed each other for Caroline's attentions and Errol just smiled indulgently at her cousin and her two suitors and for the first time, Adam heard her laugh. He saw her face light up and he caught his breath. He wanted her and she wouldn't have him and so he looked at her with longing. Hoss asked what was wrong as he passed by Adam who had been chopping wood. Adam commented that if Hoss had been working all morning, he'd know what the matter was.
Adam was stacking the cord wood when Errol came out of the house and stood on the porch. Adam looked at her and she returned his glance. She looked down and headed for the barn, going inside the open doors – she glanced back just once before disappearing inside. Adam followed; he knew that was what she wanted.
Errol was facing him when he came in and he stopped, waiting for her to speak.
"I'm leaving tomorrow; I bought a ticket in town and I'm going back to Boston alone. I just wanted to tell you."
"Why are you leaving? I hadn't meant to run you off with my questions – I've tried to play your game the way you wanted. I just don't know the rules. Please – don't leave yet. I promise that if you'll stay and keep coming to me, I won't ask any more questions; I'll accept things the way they are."
Errol shook her head and looked down. He realized that she was crying.
"I can't stay. You…you make me feel things I had believed - had hoped—I'd never feel again. It frightens me."
"Why? I don't understand. I know about your fiancé, about his death and your…"
"You never told me you knew. You should have." Her eyes flashed with anger.
"You never stayed long enough for me to tell you anything!" She was being unfair. "Every night I've begged you to stay…"
"Do you want to hear what I would say if I'd stayed? Are you sure?"
Adam considered. "Yes. I'm sure."
"All right." Errol composed herself. "After my fiancé died, I never wanted to feel anything again but there was you." She looked at him with disdain. "You with your dark looks and that mouth I wanted to kiss – I imagine many women want to kiss you, don't they? Anyway, I couldn't deny my desire for you so I took a chance you wouldn't laugh at me, refuse me and tell everyone at breakfast the next morning that I had gone to your room and tried to seduce you. I was sure you would.
"But I went to you that first night hoping that would put an end to it for me, that I would be disappointed in your - ineptness. I hoped you were a sloppy, selfish lover and then I wouldn't want you anymore, but it hadn't worked out that way. One taste of you and I hungered for more – and more. I was thirsting for more.
"But that first morning after, I waited for you to tell everyone, to treat me like a common whore but you said nothing and I didn't understand why not; you were either going to hold it over my head, blackmail me, or you were kind – I still don't know which. Another reason I was drawn to you again. But I tried to avoid you the best I could because I was afraid I'd give myself away, but at night, I…I'd ache for your touch and so – I took another chance you'd accept me into your bed-and you did and after that night, I was…addicted like some opium eater – you were the drug that I needed and as night closed in, I became more agitated and couldn't rest until..." Errol stopped. She put out her hands as if pleading.
Adam stepped closer to pull her to him; he wanted to comfort her, to tell her how he felt about her but Errol stepped back. Adam apologized. "I'm sorry – I hadn't thought about how I must stink after working outside; I don't blame you..."
Errol dropped her eyes and shook her head. "No, that's not…" She moved closer, paused, and then began to clumsily unbutton his trousers, her hands shaking. He wasn't sure what to do in the face of such boldness. After all, they weren't far from the open doors of the barn; anyone passing by would be able to see them if they glanced in, and his father would be back any time with her aunt and uncle and their tour about the Ponderosa. But Adam watched her continue, wanted her to continue. And when she finished, she took a step back and viewed him in the light of day.
Errol had never really seen a man, never had a chance to when she and her fiancé had furtively satisfied one another in the buggy or on the back porch of her uncle's grand house, but here was a man before her displaying the instrument that had given her so much pleasure the past few nights. Errol reached out and touched him – tentatively closing her hand about him. She felt him quiver within her hands and looked up at him. Adam said nothing but she could hear his labored breathing as he struggled to control himself.
She returned her attention to what she held imprisoned in her hand and remembering what her fiancé had liked when she had pleased him in the darkness of the carriage, she smiled while running a thumb over the tip. He groaned and gripped her shoulders as he supported himself.
"Errol…" Adam wanted to tell her that they could go inside to his room but a sound made her release him and step back even further. It was the sound of an approaching buggy and the distant voices of Ben Cartwright and the Simses. Adam grabbed her arm and she hissed for him to let her go; did he want everyone to wonder why the two of them were in the barn? Especially with his trousers unbuttoned?
Adam shook his head. "How can you excite me, take me in your hand one minute and then not want me to even touch you the next? I don't understand and I don't like this little game you're playing with me. Perhaps it's best you do leave tomorrow since you're obviously just toying with me; do you think I have no feelings? If you want to just use me for pleasure, well, you can use that talented hand of yours to please yourself. You seem to know more than just how to lay on your back."
Errol said nothing - just glanced at him again and then walked out. Adam quickly buttoned his trousers, tucking in his shirt, and began to follow her but stopped; the carriage with his father and his guests came around the corner of the barn. It wouldn't do to seem so intent in following Errol.
Errol stopped and smiled at her aunt and uncle and Ben asked her how she had liked Virginia City. She said fine and Ben tossed the reins to Adam and asked him to please put the horses away and the four of them walked toward the house, Ben slipping Errol's arm through his. Adam watched as they walked away and Errol glanced back with an odd expression on her face; if he knew her better, Adam thought, he would swear it was a mixture of longing and regret. But he didn't know her – and it didn't look as if he would ever have the chance.
The rest of the day, Adam couldn't get Errol's expression out of his mind. During dinner, she was very quiet and Ben said that he was sorry that she was leaving in the morning and wasn't there anything to convince her to stay? Both Hoss and Joe asked her to stay as well and her cousin begged her not to go. How could she manage without her older cousin to give her advice on men, Caroline asked? Errol said that Caroline didn't seem to need any of her help – or anyone else's – at all. And then they all laughed except Adam; he found nothing amusing in the situation.
That night with everyone retired, Adam, wearing his robe, paced in his room, waiting for Errol to come to him. But time passed and she didn't and finally, Adam lay down and fell asleep. Suddenly he jerked awake; the door was open and Errol stood in the doorway, the light from the lamp in the hall illuminating her from behind; he could see the outline of her body through the gown she wore.
"Close the door and come to me," Adam said, holding out his arms for her. Errol stood, uncertain. She pressed the door shut and stood against it.
"Adam…I came to tell you that…" She stopped talking and ran to him. Adam pulled her down against him, covering her face with kisses. Errol clung to him and told Adam she had been afraid that tonight he wouldn't want her after the way she had behaved in the barn. And Adam gently chastised her for having any doubts that he would want her.
And instead of the passionate couplings of the previous three nights, Adam took Errol gently, enjoying her pliant body. He crooned sweet words to Errol as they lay joined together, he, deep inside her. He took his pleasure slowly and she wrapped her small arms around him and softly whispered words of love to him in return. She touched him and kissed him and asked him how he liked certain things and he responded with moans of pleasure and words of encouragement until finally, they both found satisfaction in their need for each other, to their longing for fulfillment of their passions.
After, Adam held her, stroking her hair, and finally, she talked. Errol told him of her fiancé, how much she had loved him and how he had died in a train accident. She told him that she had been devastated, she hadn't wanted to go on because the pain of her loss was too great. And she was determined to never let herself feel anything.
"But when I saw you, saw your smile and gentle eyes, I was overwhelmed. You stirred feelings in me from the core of my being, that were as great as what I'd felt for my fiancé - greater. You filled me with such physical longing that I needed to be with you. And from the first, when you allowed me in your bed and touched me, I was shaking with fear and…anticipation."
Adam kissed Errol gently and as she responded. He cupped one of her breasts and bending down, circled the nipple with his tongue, then gently drew it into his mouth, pulling it in until she gave a small cry and tried to pull away. He gently released the small, hard nipple and then pulled her closer. She moved underneath his hands, separating her legs and asking him to take her again. He claimed that he could feast on her forever and never be sated.
So as his passion and lust built, she found that her emotions matched his. He caressed her, probing her secret places and causing her to cry and shudder with the joy of surrender. She cried out that she was undone, that she could take no more but he said she could, that she would, and soon they were again grasping at each other like two beasts, rolling over on the bed, moving their hungry mouths and urgent hands over one another until she cried out again and again at his thrusting and he made the groans that men have made for all the ages when their desire has reached the level where they spill their seed into the woman underneath them.
And when they were both spent, Errol rested her head on Adam's chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. He asked her to stay with him, to stay with him always. The world has so much more to offer you, he told her. and if she would allow it, he would see to it that she received everything that life had to give anyone-that he had to give her if she would just stay with him and be his wife.
And Errol quietly whispered, "Yes." She told Adam she would stay because if she left now, there would once again be the crushing pain of loss and she knew that she wouldn't be able to survive it this time, that one night spent alone longing for him would stop her heart and she would die.
Adam kissed her mouth and said that he would see that she was happy and that she wanted for nothing. But Errol knew that what she wanted she would never have, could never have; that was the assurance that they would always feel this way about one another-that this moment of pure love and devotion would last forever.
And quietly Errol recited a few lines from an old Greek poem, "Save me from anguish; give me all that I ask for, Gifts at thy hand…" And she held on to Adam with desperation. He responded with a caress and soft words of endearment and for the moment, they both had all they desired.
~Finis~