So I'm currently into shy!Cas/dominant!Dean... Hope you like it, too!
In A Heartbeat
The small black cat was purring around his legs while Castiel stood in front of his mirror, straightening his tie. It didn't really work, he still looked the same as every day: unable to do it properly but he wore it nevertheless, feeling strange without the blue thing around his neck. When he was done staring at his poor reflection in the mirror he bent down to pick up the cat from the floor and pressed her close to his chest, enjoying the warmth of the animal through his closes. She purred even louder than before, now and rubbed her nose against Castiel's while he scratched her behind her ears.
"You can consider yourself lucky, Missy." The man whispered into her fur between her strangely huge ears. "You can stay at home tonight and sleep. I have to go to that party in the office." He sat her back down on the floor, ignoring her whining mewl. "No, I have to go, now." A deep sigh escaped his lips when he heard his brother searching for him downstairs.
"Cassie? Hey, it cannot take you that damn long to get yourself ready!" He shouldn't have told him to come over before the party, Gabriel always got a little agitated when there was an event upcoming. Castiel knew exactly why that was: his brother was lusting after Castiel's colleague and only friend Sam, though the tall man never indicated if he even swung that way or not. Maybe Sam was just enjoying Gabe's company, never knowing that the man was flirting with him? Well, to be honest, Castiel wouldn't know as well if Gabriel hadn't told him, but then Castiel wasn't especially good at things like that. No one had ever flirted with him or looked at him twice and he was used to being like a small grey mouse that no one cared for. It was okay because he was really used to being alone. In fact he wasn't alone, he had his cat and Missy was a great companion.
With another deep sigh, Castiel left the bathroom and made his way down the stairs where Gabriel was waiting impatiently for him already, taping his foot on the floor, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Didn't you even shave, Cassie?" He asked and looked at the stubble around his brother's chin. Well, Castiel shaved from time to time but only when he didn't have to work the next day because normally he would cut himself at least once and he didn't like people to see that he wasn't even able to fulfill such an easy task without problems. It was close to a wonder that he was able to work anyway… But he was good at his job and he liked it, though it meant talking to colleagues a lot. But they didn't mind that he was strange. They more or less expected an IT guy to be strange. So it was kind of a perfect job for him.
"Gabriel, why are you always chiding me? You know me long enough…" Castiel said with a roll of his eyes and grabbed his car keys from the bowl next to the door before he ushered his brother out of his house to neatly close the door behind himself. Gabe threw an arm around Castiel's shoulders, not waiting for him to turn the key around a third time, leading him over to his car that was parked on the street.
"You should look out for a nice woman, Cassie. You're a really handsome guy with these electric blue eyes but you have to make yourself presentable." He straightened Castiel's tie a bit. "I want you to be happy, baby brother." Gabriel's voice got soft at these words, the raven haired man knew that this was nice of him but he didn't want to hear anything of this.
"I AM happy, Gabe." He sighed and opened the passenger door to get into the car. He waited until the honey blonde was sitting behind the steering wheel to start the car. "I have a nice job, a nice house, a nice cat…"
"…all for yourself. Great." Castiel tried not to let the hurt show too obviously on his face and turned to look out of the side window. Maybe he felt a little lonely from time to time but in more than thirty years no one had ever tried to flirt with him. Damn, he wasn't even sure if he was into women or men because he sometimes saw guys he really thought were handsome and didn't that mean that he was at least bi? How could he ever know if there wasn't anyone to try it out with. So he told himself that everything was alright and most of the time it worked. Sometimes, just sometimes it hurt to be alone. It hurt that nobody showed any interest in him and it hurt that he was always just watching. "Cassie…" Gabriel said and made him turn around again. "You will find someone. You're one of the nicest and compassionate people I know. And you're handsome, too."
"Obviously is looking for nice and compassionate any more… I'm too shy, too silent, too gray… I vanish when others are around and if someone looked at me, I wouldn't even know what to do." Gabriel smiled at him.
"Oh, you will." They drove the rest of the way in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Castiel was just hoping that the evening would be over soon, he didn't like to spend his Friday evenings in the office, he was there more than enough and he longed for some silence and a nice book, not loud music and senseless small talk.
It was like Castiel had expected: everyone was talking animatedly, it was nonsense mostly and the loud laughter often tore the raven haired from his thoughts. He was trying to look over the heads of the crowd, looking for Sam or Gabriel so that he could at least look as if he was belonging to one of these groups. He spotted Sam over by an open window along with Gabriel and another man he didn't know. That was strange… there weren't SO many people working here and Castiel thought he knew everyone of them already. So he made his way through the crowd, apologizing whenever he bumped into someone and more than once he nearly spilled his beer on the way over to the others.
"Hi Castiel." Sam greeted him and smiled brightly. "I think you haven't met my brother Dean yet, right?" He asked and gestured towards the man Castiel didn't know. No he hadn't met Dean yet, he would remember: He looked into stunningly bright green eyes that held his gaze. His face was graced by one of the widest smiles Castiel had ever seen and it created crinkles next to those wonderful eyes that were surely a sin. He took the hand Dean offered and shook it while he still stared into those forest green depths, not even remembering his own name. Thankfully Gabriel did and he introduced Castiel to Dean.
"This is my brother, Castiel." He said and the raven haired man could hear the surprise in his older brother's voice, looking over to him for just a second, seeing a huge smirk on his face before he remembered his good manners.
"Nice to meet you, Dean." He said and wanted to pull his hand back but Dean held it firmly in his own, letting go just a few seconds too late.
"Yeah, nice to meet you, too." He said with a wink. That was the moment Castiel decided that he was definitely into men because this one was a real stunner and he instantly wished that he wasn't so shy and unsure of himself but he was and so he just watched as Dean turned back towards his brother. "I will grab another beer." He said and was off, vanished in the crowd within seconds. Castiel couldn't help himself, he stared after this man, admiring the broad back and slightly bowlegged walk. But of course this man was walking away just when Castiel came over. Just his luck. Dean most likely hadn't realized who he was or what he looked like. Surely Dean had already forgotten about the man he just met.
"And there he goes…" Sam said and shook his head looking after his brother as well. "Guess who he's chasing right now." He said with a laugh and Gabriel turned to look as well, standing on the tips of his feet to get a better look.
"Lisa from accounting." He said and turned back towards Sam.
"I should have known that this would happen…" Sam sighed but then shrugged and he and Gabriel went back to their previous conversation. Castiel was just fine with just listening, he wasn't interested in talking as well and so time passed by slowly. With little sips of beer and listening to nothing in particular Castiel's thoughts drifted away again soon and he didn't realize that Gabriel and Sam had left to get another beer and so when he looked up sometime later he was alone, nursing his beer, staring ahead. Great social skill, Castiel, he chided himself and looked around helplessly. This was why he hated such parties: he was lost when too many people were in just one room and he wasn't good at just joining one group or the other in the middle of a conversation. So he just wandered towards the exit, hoping that no one would see him leave but well, who was he fooling, nobody cared if he was here or not anyways.
He was still lost deep in his thoughts when he reached out for the door handle but a heavy hand on his shoulder stopped him, making him jump slightly. Had he done something wrong?
"Why are you leaving so soon?" A deep voice asked behind him and his head began to spin when he realized that this was Sam's brother Dean who was holding him back. Castiel turned and was again stunned by how green and expressive his eyes where. He wanted to stare at this beautiful face for the rest of his life.
"Erm… I'm not really into small talk and parties so I thought I'd just take a taxi to drive home." Castiel said, unsure if it was okay talking so blunt to someone he barely knew. Dean's smile didn't falter, making the raven haired man even more nervous.
"I was hoping to get to talk to you again." Was the answer, taking Castiel off guard. Someone wanted to talk to him?
"Why?" Was all Castiel could think of and it made Dean laugh. Of course he was stunning when he laughed as well, throwing his head back to reveal his long neck with the slight stubble on it. Strangely it didn't look bad on Dean as it did on Castiel himself.
"Because I think I would like to hear you talking. And as you're not into small talk you might actually have to say something not just the usual talk about weather and cars and all, right?" Okay, he was more than puzzled, now.
"Sam said you would chase Lisa." Oh great, Castiel, you sound like a dumb Rainman… His comment provoked another laugh from Dean and again Castiel marveled at the beauty of the other man, his heart beginning to beat faster. He was afraid. Really, truly afraid because he didn't know how to deal with this. It had never happened before and it made him feel even more like a freak than he already was. Dean seemed to sense his discomfort and went on speaking.
"My brother always just thinks the worst of me. She's okay but I've spotted someone who's even hotter than her and obviously far more interesting." He replied. Oh. So why was he losing time with someone like Castiel? It just didn't make any sense to him.
"Who do you mean?" This was getting awkward, Castiel knew. He didn't want to know who Dean would take home tonight, he just wanted to get out of here and bury himself under his sheets with Missy by his side who would gently purr him to sleep. This party and this man was more than he could handle, he felt stupid and forlorn but Dean just wouldn't let him escape, blocking the door with his fabulous body. Damn, this red shirt really highlighted his green eyes, making it impossible for Castiel to look away.
"You really don't have an idea, do you?" Dean asked and came a step closer to Castiel, forcing his back against the wall behind him. "Let me drive you home, Cas, okay?" The blue eyed man nodded without thinking about it, he would do anything to get away from here and right now he was beyond confused because Dean was so near, his breath ghosting over his face as he spoke. "Okay." Dean took a step back and Castiel used the opportunity to release the breath he had been holding the whole time.
"But I thought there was someone you wanted to…you know?" Now he was getting red as well, this was just great. "I can take a taxi, I don't want to cause any trouble, I just want to get away from here. I's not your fault that I don't like it here and you shouldn't waste your time with someone like me…." Cas said, not able to hold himself back before the words tumbled from his lips. Dean slung an arm around Castiel's hips and lead him out of the building, holding them close together which didn't help to relieve Castiel's clumsiness. Without much ado he was lead to an old black vintage car in the far corner of the parking lot and Dean held open the door for him to climb inside. "You don't have to do this…" He tried but Dean gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
"I know. But I want to." He answered and closed the door once Castiel slipped into the passenger seat of this marvelous car. When Dean got in behind the steering wheel, Castiel watched him with big blue eyes while another thought knocked at the back of his head: was he that someone Dean meant? Did Dean have more interest in him than in Lisa? No, this couldn't be, Cas was nothing in comparison with his colleague. Lisa was really pretty with a bright smile and long blonde hair. But then Dean looked at him with a sweet smile that held adoration. It made Cas gasp actually and he stared at his hands that were folded in his lap. Oh shit. He really didn't know what to do now, he was at a loss of words, unable to handle this situation confidently like any other human being on this earth would. So he decided that it was better to shut up and hope that he wouldn't make even more of a fool of himself. "You have to give me directions, Cas, I don't know where you live, yet." Dean tore him out of his thoughts and Cas was glad for the change back to a lighter topic.
It didn't take them long to get to Castiel's house and when Dean parked in front of it, he killed the engine and looked over at Castiel who was staring at his hands again.
"Wow, It's a really nice house." Dean said and looked out of the windshield. "You live here on your own?"
"Well… I have a cat who lives with me but otherwise… yes." Castiel said, his voice small and still he was unsure, lost at what he should do, now. Was it okay to just get out of the car or did Dean expect more of him?
"Why do you feel so damn uncomfortable around me, Cas?" Dean asked and turned towards his passenger, his hand reaching out to let his knuckles brush over the stubble on Cas' cheek. The man nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the warm fingers against his face. It felt great to be touched so gently, carefully but he didn't know what this all meant. Hell, he was way over thirty and didn't know what to do in this moment. So he did what he always did: speaking what was on his mind.
"This is new for me, Dean." He said silently towards his lap. "You know… my brother, Gabriel, he was always the good looking one, he was the one famous with the women. And later men when he realized that he liked them better. No one ever looked at me or asked me out because they all just had eyes for Gabe." He took a deep breath, knowing that he would always regret what he was about to say before it was even out of his mouth: "Look, if you're looking for a nice one night stand, I'm definitely not the right person, because I don't know how this works." He looked up at Dean with his big blue eyes, noticing that the other was staring at him. Just great. "Well, I know how it works, it's just that I've never done something like this before and I don't know if it would be a good idea, so…yeah, I should get out and leave you alone, guess you're done with me…" Cas mumbled and grabbed the handle of the door but Dean leaned over to him and grabbed his wrist to stop him.
"Please don't go." He took a deep sigh. "I don't want you for just one night, okay?" There was an adorable light pink blush creeping onto Dean's cheeks when he confessed this, making Castiel smile a little.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled under his breath, afraid to do or say the wrong thing. When he looked up he found that Dean was leaning above him because he had reached for Castiel's hand and had to get closer to hold it. Those green eyes smiled at him from under long lashes, then they looked down to Cas' full pink lips, making his stomach tingle with anticipation and nervousness. He wasn't aware that Dean had moved but he had and his sweet lips now covered Castiel's in a slow, gentle kiss. The blonde man tasted like whiskey and honey, his mouth felt so soft against Cas' and when he gently let his tongue glide over them, Castiel parted his own instinctively and gave Dean the chance to deepen the kiss. Calloused hands came up to grab Cas' face, thumbs carefully caressing the stubble on his chin as the kiss got deeper and he could feel and taste Dean on his tongue, his own darting out experimentally as well to get more of this wonderful feeling. Their mouth moved together for a few minutes before they both had to come up for air, staring into each others eyes. Cas was mesmerized, he wanted more and he wanted Dean to stay with him but he knew that he wasn't interesting enough for a man like Dean and sooner or later the blonde would realize this and go. Oh God, what had he done?
"Cas…" Dean just mumbled when he looked into those huge, blue eyes that stared fearful into his own. "I want to know more about you." He whispered and let his lips brush over Cas' in another kiss, this one chaste and tender.
"Okay… come, I'll show you the house." Castiel heard himself say and before he could lose his courage he got out of the car and nervously waited for Dean to follow. He did and Cas' heart made a funny leap into his throat hen he watched the taller man come over to him to let his hands rest on Cas' hips to pull him closer, resting his forehead against the other man's.
"You're sweet, Cas." He whispered. "But if you feel uncomfortable around me I will just leave and ask for a proper date in a restaurant, or we will go to the movies and…" He was silenced by a giggle that escaped Castiel's lips, making him look up into blue eyes.
"It's okay, Dean." Another breathtakingly bright smile from the other man. "Just bear with my strange behavior."
It's not strange. It's kinda cute and I wanna see more of it." Dean confessed and followed Castiel towards the door and into the house. It was cozy in here, the light wasn't too bright, and the doors were made from dark wood, making it appear even warmer. Dean felt at home instantly but he was sure that it was Cas' presence that evoked this feeling in him. Dean had never felt at ease when he was with people he had just met but he instantly relaxed, following Cas into the kitchen.
"Do you want some tea or coffee?" Cas asked and Dean opted for a tea, watching Cas' graceful movements as he prepared the cup and put the hot water onto the stove where he still stood with his back towards Dean, waiting for the water to boil. The slightly smaller man didn't flinch this time when Dean touched him and let his arms sneak around Castiel's waist to let them rest on his flat stomach, resting his chin on the man's shoulder, inhaling his scent.
"Someone like you shouldn't be alone." He whispered, making Cas sigh and lean back against his strong chest. He never knew how good it would feel to be held like this.
"I don't know it any other way. I have always been fine with silence and being alone. I never missed anything." He took a deep sigh, letting his head fall back against Dean's shoulder, closing his eyes. "Until now."
"You should keep me."
"You don't know anything about me. I could be a total nutcase. Wouldn't this be annoying?"
"I've never felt so attracted to someone as I feel to you." Dean confessed, deciding that being honest with someone like Cas was most likely the best he could do. He hated that it made him vulnerable but damn, he wanted to go through this for Castiel. This man wouldn't hurt him, Dean was sure and he didn't plan to hurt him either. All he knew was that he wanted him, a strange and new feeling but it felt good nevertheless. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" Dean dared to ask and earned another light chuckle from the raven haired man, the deep voice rumbling through both their bodies now that they were standing so close together. This deep voice made Dean mad.
"I'm not even sure if I believe in love." Castiel muttered and felt ashamed. "I'm thirtyfour years old and have always been alone…"
"I'll make you believe." Dean whispered before he turned Cas around in his arms and kissed him again, this time even deeper than their first kiss, showing Castiel that he meant everything he said, hoping that he would understand. The raven haired was an eager participant in this kiss, instantly opening up to Dean, letting him dominate him in that perfect way. Oh, how Cas wished that Dean was able to heal every single scar on his heart and soul, how he wished that he had finally found someone but he wasn't able to believe this, especially not after just an hour together with this man.
Behind them the water boiled and Dean let go of Cas unwillingly, watching his long and slender fingers as he poured water into two cups, handing one of them to his visitor. It took a lot of effort from Dean's side to not put the cup away again and pull Castiel into his arms for another kiss. He was hungry for more but he was also aware that he needed to go slow with Cas and he was absolutely willing to show him that he didn't want him for just one night but for an honest relationship. Damn, Castiel was right: they didn't know anything about each other and yet here he was hoping that the beautiful raven haired man was his future husband. This has never happened before and a part of Dean was scared shitless because he had never craved a relationship. He just sucked at relationships but then again he had never met someone like Castiel in his entire life.
He silently followed the other man into the living room where a huge sofa was occupying half of the room. There was a TV with some DVDs beneath it and Dean instantly saw something that he knew. He went over and knelt down to grab the box, turning it over in his hands, looking up at Cas with huge pleading eyes, making him melt instantly. "Please tell me you are a fan." Dean said and when Cas blushed a little and nodded, a beam broke out on Dean's face. "I knew it." He got up again and took the first DVD from the box to put it into the player. "We have to watch this together!" There was so much excitement in his voice that Castiel had to laugh while he sat down on the sofa, making himself comfortable. When Dean came over, he took a seat next to the man, close enough to touch him but he didn't actually. A few seconds later the room was filled with the sound of the Deep Space Nine opening. "I haven't seen this in a while, I really missed this." Dean said and made Cas smile again.
They watched the four episodes that were on the DVD and in the end of it, Castiel was lying in Dean's arms, cuddled up against his chest and breathing in his wonderful scent. He had never done this before, he had always watched the series alone, sometimes with Gabriel but his brother wasn't really that fond of Star Trek. Dean was warm, his arm holding Cas firmly against his side, loving the feeling of the other man against him. They waited until the DVD ended and the menu was back on the screen, repeating the same melody over and over again. It took a while before Dean sat up, reluctantly letting go of Cas who instantly missed his warmth.
"I should go." Dean whispered but didn't make another move to stand up. Without Castiel consciously realizing it, his hand came up to caress Dean's hair behind his ear, pulling him closer a little bit.
"Don't." Cas dared to say. Dean melted at the way he said it and he wasn't sure if he was able to gather the strength to leave now. Or if he even wanted to. So he opened his mouth to speak but Castiel was faster: "It feels good not be alone." So Dean closed his mouth again, thinking this over. He wasn't sure if he was able to hold himself back if he was that close to this beauty for a whole night. The struggle must have been obvious on his face because only a second later, Cas let his hand drop and looked shyly down into his lap, making Dean aware again of the fact that this man really hadn't done this before and was more than lost because he had never learned how to deal with someone's advances. With swift movements Dean had the man in his arms again, holding him firmly while tenderly brushing his fingers through thick, black hair.
"Okay, I'll stay." He said quietly. "But I can't promise to keep my fingers off you…" It was a poor attempt at a joke but Cas chuckled nevertheless, relieved that Dean would stay with him. They watched another episode of Deep Space Nine together but it was already late and they were tired, so Dean found himself following Cas into his bedroom about an hour later. It was as cozy as the rest of the house, there was a huge bed with tons of cushions, some book on the beside tables and a cat who slept in the middle of the bed, rolled together into a black ball of fur. Without even waiting for an invitation Dean went over and sat down on the bed letting his hand glide over the small animal's soft back. A soft purr began and Missy got up to stretch before she pressed her small head into Dean's huge hand, waiting for more caresses that he gladly offered.
"She's cute." The man said while Castiel searched through his wardrobe for a shirt. "What's her name?"
"Missy." Was the answer and Cas turned back to see his cat cuddling with Dean and he decided that it was a good sign that she trusted him so soon and without any resentments. With the shirt clutched to his chest he just stood there and watched, smiling because his cat and Dean seemed to get along well and for some strange reason it made Castiel very happy to witness this. Finally Dean got up and walked over to where Castiel stood, looking at him for a long time, drinking in the sight of the innocent angel in front of him: his black hair was tousled, his blue eyes wide and curious, his sweet pink lips slightly chapped but so damn soft nevertheless, his chin was covered by that adorable scruff that went on down his long neck where Dean ached to place longing kisses right beneath his ears. The shirt Castiel wore had some buttons open, revealing just a little bit too little skin of his smooth, white chest, leaving a lot of room for imagination and fantasies how this lean but most likely slightly muscled body would look like under all these clothes. Licking his lips Dean looked up into that face, finding Cas staring at him as well, drinking in the sight of the stranger in his bedroom he desperately wanted to get to know closer.
They were both breathing heavier than just a minute ago and as their eyes raked over their bodies Dean knew that he wouldn't be able to hold himself back. Fuck, he wanted Cas to know that this wasn't just for one night, he wanted to prove it, he wanted the raven haired man to trust him but would it really make a difference if they did it tonight or next week? With trembling fingers Dean reached out for Cas' hands, lacing their fingers together, pulling him closer to himself to place open mouthed kisses on Cas' neck, just below his ear and marveled at the sweet moan that escaped the other man's lips. He should stop. He should SO stop this, but he wasn't able to, the brunette was way too tempting to pull back before it was too late, Dean would sure as fuck burn in hell for being impatient with a pure soul like Castiel's. But the soft skin under his lips tasted so wonderful, so sweet, so perfect.
"I should stop right here and now." Dean mumbled against Cas' neck as he trailed kisses down towards his shoulder, lost in the scent of that angel.
"Dean…" Cas whispered and tightened his hold of their laced fingers, silently begging for more as he bent his head to the side to give Dean better access. God, this was hot, how was a hot blooded male supposed to not take such an offer? His control broke and Dean gave up, his hands coming up to grab the back of Cas' neck as he crushed their lips together in a breathtaking kiss, expertly sucking and licking his way into the slightly smaller mans mouth who now clung to Dean for dear life.
When they came apart for air, Cas was with his back against the mattress, Dean lying above him, pinning him down with his weight, looking up at the angel in front of him. Blue eyes were nearly black, now, dilated from pure lust. Cas grabbed Dean's face and pulled him down into another kiss that was pure fire and sin, making Dean's hips roll lazily against Castiel's. He opened his legs a little bit further, it was inviting, making Dean's head spin. With a gasp he came up to look down at Castiel again, letting his hands run through that soft brown-black hair.
"You're so beautiful, Castiel." He muttered, fearing that he had made a mistake when a tear slipped from electric blue eyes onto the pillows. "Hey..." Instinct took over and Dean licked the salty liquid away, carefully kissing his way back to Cas' lips, speaking against them. "Is everything okay? I can stop if you want me to."
"Don't stop." Cas whispered into Dean's lips, letting his tongue dart out to taste. "Just... nobody said that before..."
"I will tell you every day..." Dean promised, diving down for another kiss, opening Cas' lips to sweetly caress his tongue with his own, making love to his mouth, coaxing him into giving in and oh, how Cas surrendered. He fell apart completely under Dean's praising hands, enjoying this new feeling of skin on skin once their clothes were all discarded, scattered on the floor forgotten. Little moans and cries of pleasure escaped when his mouth when Dean kissed his way down his chest and stomach, aver his hips and towards his thighs, closing his hot mouth around Cas' tip, sucking him gently, making him see stars.
Castiel had never known such pleasure, Dean was slow, nearly teasingly careful and tender with hm, making sure that Cas was really relaxed and okay with what they did. He was very okay, he was practically begging for Dean to take him and the blonde man couldn't help himself, he took the offering and it felt like heaven to move in unison with Castiel's body beneath him. This wasn't a mistake, this wasn't just one night. Castiel was a drug and Dean would be addicted soon. The kisses they shared were toxic, he drowned in them, letting his body take over control to have the best sex he ever had.
Cas came when Dean hit that sweet spot again and again, spilling all over his chest as he threw his head back with the most erotic moan Dean had ever heard, baring his long neck for Dean to bite and he did when he was thrown over the edge only seconds later, breathing through his orgasm to get more of that feeling that shook them both to the marrow.
Dean gathered a spent Cas in his arms, holding him close, burying his face in his hair, inhaling deeply, knowing that this was the man he wanted to wake up next to every day.
Cas was still breathing heavily, unable to get this goofy smile off his face as he turned around to look at Dean who held him so securely against himself. It was warm and he felt sated, happy as never before in his life and when he saw Dean's equally happy smile, he couldn't help but feel hope rise in his chest. Never had he dared to think that he would find someone for himself, it was hard to believe that somebody could want him when it had never happened before. Cas had often stood in front of a mirror and stared into his own face, asking himself what was wrong with it. But Dean had said that he thought he was beautiful. His heart still skipped a beat when he thought back to these words that were spoken with such honesty that he was close to believe them. Maybe, just maybe Dean would stay at least for a while… Or maybe he would leave in the morning. Being so damn unsure wasn't helping him, so he looked into those bright green eyes again.
"What have you planned for the weekend?" Dean asked against his temple, warm breath ghosting down his face.
"Reading. Cooking a nice dinner, maybe inviting Sam and Gabe over so I won't cook it all for myself. Nothing special." Cas answered and looked at Dean questioningly.. "Why?"
"I have a better plan: we spend the weekend together. I don't want to go home and know that you are here. It would make me feel so alone." He used a very exaggerated fake pout that made Cas chuckle. A low rumble deep within his chest that Dean found more than a little attractive.
"Okay. You can stay here if you like to." Uncertainty and fears were obvious in these words and Dean just pressed Castiel closer to himself, breathing a kiss onto his forehead.
"You better get used to me being around." He said, finding the light blush that crept into Cas' cheeks beyond beautiful. If Cas wouldn't make him leave, Dean was sure that he would stay forever.
+XxX+
The sun was already shining through the windows when Cas woke up but it wasn't the first thing he noticed. There was a heavy arm draped around his torso, holding him close to a firm and warm body that was equally naked as his own. It was warm and it made Castiel feel content and wanted and when he stirred, Dean grabbed him even tighter, pulling him closer to him while kissing the back of his neck.
"Good morning, sweetheart." He said sleepily. "How are you?"
"Fine." Cas answered. "A little bit sore, maybe." He added and Dean chuckled.
"Guess that is my fault." Is muttered into the smaller man's neck where Dean's nose is buried just beneath his hairline. "I'll make up for it, I swear. I make the best pancakes in the world, believe me, Sammy always loved them and you will, too." The promise sounded nice and Castiel instantly tried to imagine what it would be like to have someone using his kitchen except from Sam and Gabriel. The idea got him kind of excited and he nodded.
"Okay, now I'm curious. You don't look like someone who cooks often…" He teased and Dean used the opportunity to tickle his fingers down Cas' side, finding that the man was very ticklish: he rolled himself closer together, trying to get away from Dean but he held him firmly, rolling them over so that he was finally resting over Castiel.
"You'll be surprised." He said, kissing Cas deeply before he got up and pulled on boxers and a t-shirt that he had found on the floor. The shirt was Cas' and the man gulped when he saw Dean in it, feeling a new sensation that he had never know before: possessiveness. He smiled to himself as he watched Dean leave the bedroom with another glance back towards Cas who was just about to get up as well. Missy was already up and purring around his legs when he walked over into the bathroom, looking into the mirror into a face that was still the same as yesterday but still he felt so different. There was a smile on his lips that he didn't know, yet, his hair was even more tousled than usually and there was a huge and dark lips-shaped bruise in the middle of his neck, just below his Adam's apple. He wouldn't be able to cover it completely, maybe it would already be gone on Monday when he had to go to work but he highly doubted it. Dean had done a good job marking him, there were some smaller and lighter marks beneath his right ear and shoulder but they were still pretty well visible…
With a grin he picked the cat from the floor and held her against his naked chest as he did so often, because he liked her soft fur on his skin. She gave a friendly mewl, rubbing her head against Cas', trying to get even closer while purring loudly into his ear. He felt great, maybe he would finally able to be a little bit more normal… He sat Missy back down on the floor and brushed his teeth, hoping that his life wouldn't be so lonely any longer, this was far better than waking up all by himself.
On his way to the kitchen Cas grabbed his thin but warm enough bath robe and pulled it over while he went down the stairs. There was already a nice smell wafting towards him as he came closer to the kitchen and he peeked inside, finding Dean by the stove, holding a pan in his hand to turn the pancake that was in it with one swift movement of his wrist, catching it elegantly again in the pan. Wow. The younger man had found all the things he needed and was now stuffing them back into the cupboards and onto the shelves where they belonged before he turned around again to find Cas standing in the doorway. Dean's breath hitched in his throat as he took in the sight of the man again, who stared at Dean as if he had never seen anyone making pancakes before…
"Come here, Cas." Dean said with a smile and the other obeyed, padding over to him on naked feet. With a kiss to Cas' cheek, Dean turned towards the pan again to go on with cooking. "Tell me more about you, I'm curious."
"There's not that much to say…" Cas said and took a look around before he decided to take a seat on the counter next to the stove, his legs dangling, not reaching the floor. "My name is Castiel Novak, I'm thrityfour years old and I work in the IT department, programming little things to make the work life of my colleagues easier. Your brother is a colleague of mine, just like Gabriel. My brother and I don't have any family left, so we see each other pretty much every day, even after work. I love to read and I enjoy silence." He thought about his life in general. "That's it, I guess. I'm not that interesting."
"Oh, I think you are." Dean said and took the last pancake out of the pan to place it on the neat pile on a plate that was soon forgotten when he walked over to stand in front of Cas,, not getting enough of looking into those wonderful blue eyes. "So you're really smart, It and programming and all?" he asked and for a second Castiel even thought that he was a little intimidated but it vanished as soon as he noticed.
"No. I'm just a nerd, these things are easy for me. And it's the only thing I'm really good at. So I do it for a living." He grins. "It gets paid well, so I'm not complaining. And I really like my job, that is a big plus." Dean chuckled.
"I guess so." He said, stepping between Cas' slightly spread legs, placing his hands on the man's thighs. "I love old vintage cars. So I became a mechanic. It just sort of happened because I always helped my uncle Bobby at his garage and when I was old enough he hired me as an employee and here I am. It's not that well paid but I love it, nevertheless. Sometimes I find time to work on the older models with my uncle and it is kind of satisfying to restore them so you can drive them again."
"Where do you live?" Castiel asks while they come closer and closer, their noses drifting over each others faces while they speak.
"I have an apartment a few minutes away from Sam's. It's tiny and I may be a little bit chaotic but I like it." He grins. "Though this house is much better. So cozy and warm…" A deep sigh before he goes on. "Sammy and I are on our own since our mum has died. I was four, Sammy was just a baby and dad… he wasn't able to deal with our loss and he drank. We rarely see him. I guess he's also a little disappointed that one of his sons was never keeping it a secret that he liked men and women alike. Guess he regards me as a disgrace to his little family, but I can't change who I am. I tried to compensate this rejection with chasing after every skirt I could find but…" Dean shakes his head, letting his forehead fall against Cas' chest. "I think I was just as lonely as you were. One night stands may seem great but it leaves you empty the moment you get up and walk away. At least when you want so much more in your life." Cas' hands came up to hold Dean against him.´, fingers combing through dirty blonde hair soothingly. "You're what I wanted." Dean whispered into his chest, barely audible.
Damn, Dean had never spoken so openly about his feelings, he had always tried to hide how he felt because he kind of considered it as a weakness to let others know about it, it gave them the opportunity to hurt him. This was a chick-flick-moment and those were strictly forbidden in his book. So Cas really must be the one he wants because otherwise Dean would just grab his clothe and run from this house to never see him again. But that thought alone caused him nearly physical pain… Perhaps this wasn't only new to Castiel but to him as well. And though Dean didn't recognize himself, he didn't really care that things took such a strange turn, in fact he felt at home for the first time in his life.
Gentle hands grabbed Dean's face to make him look up into blue eyes that studied him with such a patience that he didn't even blink. This man didn't make him nervous but he soothed him. "If you really want me…" He said with a sweet smile that Dean had to mirror the second he saw it.
By now Castiel was sure that Dean wasn't lying to get him to sleep with him – if that he been his intention he had already had what he wanted. Though the raven haired had never been in love before he knew that it normally didn't begin with such force, he had seen it with Gabriel and some of his boyfriends: they went on dates and got to know each others and then they kissed and went further but what he and Dean had, now, was different. Whatever it was, Cas liked it and he sure as hell liked the blonde mechanic who made him feel special and wanted with every word he said.
"So… can I tell everyone that you're my boyfriend?" Dean grinned, coming close to Cas' face again, covering this wonderful mouth with his own again. The kiss got heated within seconds, leaving them both breathless, wishing for more. Dean's hands roamed up over Cas' thighs and under his bath robe, tickling his lower stomach with his fingers a little. He could feel the muscles tense beneath his hands, fueling his his lust more than he had ever known. With their lips still locked, Dean opened the robe, pulling back to admire the man in front of him.
"You're so damn hot." He whispered as Cas' head fell back with a moan.
"Dean... We're in the kitchen." A dark chuckle followed from Dean's throat.
"Relax, Cas, I'll make you feel good." He said and let his lips trail down over Cas' shoulders and chest towards his sides, kissing his way down deeper until he reached the man's hips, licking and tasting the skin there. God, how he longed to close his lips around that twitching and already leaking hardness, he wanted to feel and taste that satin soft skin covering it. Dark green eyes looked up into deep blue depths. Dean couldn't hold back. He swallowed Cas down in one go, making him see stars instantly.
Castiel's screams drifted through the otherwise silent house as he enjoyed what Dean did to him.
+XxX+
"These really ARE the best pancakes I ever ate." Cas smiled around a mouthful of his breakfast, amazed by the taste that was exploding in his mouth. It made Dean ridiculously happy that Cas liked the food he had prepared and his heart skipped a beat – again. If it went on like this he would die from a heart attack in a few days.
"I told you so!" Dean said. "I made them whenever Sammy was upset and on his birthdays. It's like a family recipe. Minus the family… Guess dad would hate them just because I make them." A light giggle followed these harsh words.
"I never knew my father or mother. I don't even know what exactly happened to them. Gabriel said that they died in a car accident when I was still a baby but I think he lied to make me feel better. At least I had my brother who cared for me. I came out a little strange but he always did his best."
"You're just perfect, Cas." Dean laughed, then went back to serious. "How did you know you were… well… attracted to men?" Now it was Cas' turn to give a slight laugh.
"I saw you." Was his answer and when he saw Dean's surprised gaze, he took another bite of his pancakes and went on. "I never really knew, how could I? But I always suspected that it would be okay if I met a guy and liked him. I didn't even think about it when you kissed me last night."
"You never really thought about it?" Dean gasped and stared at Cas open mouthed. "Hell, when I was beginning to realize what happened, I nearly freaked out. It took me a long time to finally tell Sam. And my father… he found it out soon after. It wasn't a nice experience, I can tell you. I thought he would kill me." His voice got sad when he explained that and Cas felt bad for Dean.
"It wasn't really that strange for me. Gabriel had never tried to hide it from me, it was kind of normal. It helped when I came to terms with myself." Cas said. "Though I don't think my brother knows… I didn't even know for sure until last night." Dean looked at him from under his long lashes again, his head tilted downwards but his eyes on Castiel. This made him actually appear a little bit shy.
"You didn't answer my question, earlier." The blonde said, earning a questioning look from Cas. "I mean if I can tell everyone that I finally found you."
"Me?" Dean rolled his eyes at Cas' naivety, laughing a little when he got up to walk over where Castiel sat, looking up at him with those wonderful, huge, pretty blue eyes.
"Yes…I don't want you to walk out onto the street again being single. That would mean that you are still free to date others." He sat down on the chair next to Castiel, grabbing one of the man's hands, playing idly with his fingers while he spoke. "It would be nice to know that we're together." There was silence for a long moment and while Dean was already fearing that Cas didn't want him, the man in front of him fought with all the feelings that were boiling in his chest: fear that this was all just a cruel joke, suspiciousness because no one had ever told him he wanted him, it wasn't easy to believe that now, hope that it would all get better with Dean, sadness because he knew that if Dean left him someday his heart would be broken. Said thing was now thundering in his chest, he wanted the mechanic, he really, really wanted him, he was more than attractive – Cas had never dreamed that someone so beautiful would fall for him – he was nice and sweet and he told what was on his mind, he didn't try to play it cool and Cas was sure that this was the way Dean would normally do things like this…
"You know I'm not good at this." Cas said carefully, making Dean smile up at him. "But I guess I would like it as well." The smile grew wider and Dean leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Cas' lips. Relief flooded him, he was happy but before he could say another word there was a ring at the door and they both looked up. A second ring followed, then a third and Cas got up from the table.
"That's Gabriel." He explained. "I didn't know he would come over today…" He made sure that the bath robe was in place everywhere, then he opened the door, finding his brother in front of it as expected. "Good morning." He said with a light smile, still feeling a little high from the night before and what he and Dean had just talked about.
"Morning? Cassie, it's way after twelve and I haven't heard anything from you, yet. Where have you been? You just vanished from the party yesterday without saying a word. Well, that would be normal but the you would at least have called me in the morning and…" He stopped his rant as he stepped into the house, staring at Castiel's neck. The raven haired brought his hand up to cover the large bruise but there were still others visible and Gabriel had already seen them all. "Cassie? What happened, did somebody – oh, you little slut went home with someone, eh?" Then something clicked into place and he looked out again just before Cas closed the door and he looked back from the Impala to his brother. "Is that – I mean, did you – and Dean…?"
"Gabe, everything is fine." Castiel tried to soothe him, but the short man was already on his way towards the living room, looking around for Dean but as he was in the kitchen, he didn't see him. Yet.
"Do you even know him?" There was the big-brother-instinct kicking in and Castiel rolled his eyes. "No, Castiel, do you know him? Sam has shared his problems with me and he isn't too happy about Dean sleeping with every girl and sometimes men he can find and now you are one of them? You deserve so much more, he'll hurt you, don't let him do this to you." Gabriel got silent and straightened himself when Dean showed up, his arms encircling him from behind, pressing the trembling man to his chest.
"I got you." He muttered pointlessly into Cas' ear, kissing his cheek as he did so and Cas relaxed a little but now that the blonde was there, Gabriel got really agitated.
"How dare you touch my brother?" The honey blonde said, then shook his head.
"I could ask you the same but I won't because we're all adults, knowing what we're doing, right?" Dean asked, his voice calm, trying to calm Gabriel down.
"Yes, but Cassie here's… different. He's not just another trophy on you damn shelf, Winchester, he's precious and needs to be treated with care." At these words Castiel stared at Gabriel. What he said was kind of sweet, he was his big brother after all, but Cas was old enough to decide for himself. What if Gabriel was right and he was just another trophy? This was getting confusing, he didn't want to hear any of it. One second he had been beyond happy and the other he was doubting everything again. And he should know how it works: no one had ever touched him, or even looked at him before, he didn't look good, his social skill were rusty and yes, maybe he was naïve from time to time… So who would want such a man? Nobody. So it must all have been a lie. But Dean's arms held him so gently, it was reassuring and soothing. Of course he wouldn't ask every date if they were together, would he?
"Don't worry about him, we'll be fine." Dean said and looked at Cas with a worried expression. His face had gotten pale and he seemed to try to make sense from what was happening.
"Oh, now you and Cassie are "we"?" Gabriel was getting even more angry with every word Dean spoke.
"Yes." Castiel cut in, straightening his form, looking into his brother's eyes.
"Do you even know what you're talking about?" Gabriel wanted to know.
"Do you?" Cas shot back, making Gabriel stare at him in disbelief.
"Fine! Make your mistake. But don't say I didn't warn you when he leaves you for the next pair of long legs he sees." Where Gabriel's last words before he stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut, leaving the other two men in silence. Dean noticed that Castiel was breathing a little faster, staring at the door, lost in his thoughts. With gentle hands Dean turned him around to face him, his fingers brushing through the beautiful face restlessly, afraid that Castiel would send him away, now that he had heard the truth from his brother.
"Dean…" Cas whispered, his fingers shaking as they landed on Dean's chest.
"I know. I have some explaining to do, right?" Castiel nodded. Then shook his head.
"I don't know… Gabriel cares too much sometimes, he doesn't know what you have said and done while we were together." Yes. And thank God for it. "He's afraid that I get hurt because I've never had someone before you. Maybe he's right but though I'm not normal, it doesn't mean that I won't try."
"Not normal?" Dean echoes, finding a bitter smile on Cas' face. Damn, everything in him screamed to hold and soothe the man, to tell him that everything would be fine, but he held himself back, instead his fingers went on caressing his hair and face.
"Dean, I was a virgin until last night! I live alone in a huge house with just a cat and a brother from time to time, that is surely nothing you would consider normal!" A sob escaped his lips. "I'm a freak and I let my brother make me doubt what happened and what you said…"
"You're not a freak. You're just as strange as every other person in this world. We're all crazy here, you know? And it isn't especially normal to become a man whore because your father disapproves of your sexuality and makes you feel bad… I never wanted this, but it happened, I never had someone to go back home to in the evenings and I really sucked at relationships with women, so I gave up. Gabriel and Sam are right with what they say. Well…kind of. But it isn't what I want for the rest of my life." Dean was close to be sure that he wanted Cas for the rest of his life. He didn't even know what happened, it was confusing because this was another abnormal thing but it felt good and he wanted to keep it this way.
"We'll figure it all out, Dean." Cas said. "You don't seem like a mistake to me." The gentle smile on his pink chapped lips made Dean's heart race in his chest and he grabbed the other man's hands, guiding him into the living room where he sat down on the sofa, pulling Cas onto his lap.
"Everything will be fine…" Dean whispered before he kissed the raven haired in his lap, massaging his shoulders as he did so. "Will you keep me?" The question was accompanied by a mocking pout that made Castiel laugh again.
"I think Gabriel isn't right, this time." Cas said and Dean breathed a relieved sigh before their lips crushed together.
+XxX+
Dean stayed with Castiel for the rest of the weekend, they talked, they watched some more episodes of Deep Space Nine and they spent a lot of time in Cas' bed. They both had to go to work on Monday but in the evening Castiel went over to Dean, curious to see his apartment. Most of the time they spent together they were at Castiel's, Dean felt at home in his house and was even offering to help with the laundry and cooking and whatever had to be done in Cas' household. Some weeks after Gabriel had found Dean in his brother's house Gabe was convinced that Dean may really be the right man for his brother, though he was still protective.
Tonight Gabriel and Sam had planned to come over for dinner and Castiel was already preparing the table while Dean was in the kitchen to make some of his famous burgers for them all. Cas loved to watch him in the kitchen, he moved precisely and gracefully, his hands never hesitating as he mixed everything together and later prepared the patties in the pan.
"Hey, honey. I caught you staring at me again." Dean said as he saw Cas leaning in against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest, watching his lover move around the kitchen with a soft smile on his chapped lips that Dean loved so much. He walked over to Castiel, pulling him in for a gentle kiss, getting lost in the feeling of his lover's lips moving against his own. Cas tasted like honey and mint, Dean knew this taste in and out but he never got enough of it, tasting it whenever he found the opportunity. "God, I love you so, Castiel." He whispered and went on kissing him, not even realizing what he had just said to the other man. Castiel broke the kiss to look closely at Dean, his eyes wide, his hands close to shaking.
"What did you just say?" He asked, eagerly waiting for a reply, hoping that he hadn't just imagined. At first Dean was puzzled but then it dawned on him that he had voiced his thoughts out loud and his eyes grew as large as Cas' before he broke into a shy smile, making Castiel melt. Of course he knew that Dean wasn't the one who dared to talk about his feelings to openly and the taller man normally tried not to let anything show, he acted self assured and never seemed to be afraid of anything but the look he gave Cas now made him seem nearly fragile.
"I love you." He said again, unsure because Castiel's face didn't give away if it was too soon or if he even felt the same way. To hell with it, Dean was more than sure and he had been sure even after their first night together, so it was okay to tell Cas after a few weeks, right? There were many different emotions on his lover's face, all passing by within seconds but Dean caught them nevertheless: fear, hope, joy, affection, panic and in the end there was nothing but love in Cas' beautiful expressive blue eyes.
"Say it again!" He urged and with a sweet smile Dean grabbed his face and placed feather light kisses on Cas' lips, on his cheeks, on his temple…
"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou." Dean whispered, not stopping until he was sure that Cas finally understood. He had never said this to anyone other than his brother before and most likely it was the same with Cas because a tear escaped his eyes, he was unable to hold it back. Dean kissed it away and looked up again. "You're the best that ever happened to me, Cas. Don't ever doubt that, okay?"
"Okay. And Dean?"
"Yes?"
"I love you, too."
THE END
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