A gift fic to Crystalitar as part of the Moana Spring Exchange.
The prompt was: "Tamatoa gives off different light when he hiccups. He feels embarrassed."
The cavern was cool and damp compared to the smothering heat of the tropical forest they had just left behind. The raucous calls of forest birds faded away, leaving them in a silence only broken by the occasional drip of water, slipping down from the overhanging stalactites that hung like stony teeth above them.
As they left the cheery afternoon sunlight behind, Maui watched as his companion's bioluminescent markings glowed to life in the shadowy cavern. Standing barely a head taller than Maui, the oversized crab provided ample light to illuminate their way in the darkness. Tamatoa caught Maui's gaze and grinned back at him, glowing lips upturned in wry amusement.
"Why not paint a tapa cloth, it'll last longer," the crab teased, striking a haughty pose.
Maui rolled his eyes. "Shh. We have to be quiet, otherwise they'll all wake up," he warned.
This was no time to indulge Tamatoa's vanity, not when there was treasure to be found. They had sailed here looking for the Golden Eggs of Te Ēkara Koura. The mythic birds were said to hide deep within these caverns, sleeping the day away and laying magical golden eggs by night. The legendary birds were monstrously huge, with razor sharp beaks and heavy talons—a formidable threat, by all accounts. They guarded their nests fiercely and any attempt to steal their precious eggs would draw their potentially deadly ire. But if caught asleep, the eggs could be stolen away without trouble. Of course, they had keen hearing and any slight noise might rouse them from their slumber.
Which all meant they had to be quiet.
Tamatoa flicked his antennae dismissively at Maui's warning, but shut up just the same. He had a stake in this treasure too, after all. They had agreed to split the haul of eggs fifty-fifty, with Maui getting half to take to the mortals and Tamatoa getting half to hoard with all his other shiny junk. It was just as well. The prospect of adding to his collection was probably the only motivator that could keep the crab quiet.
Once far enough back from the entrance, another light slowly appeared, adding to the glow coming from Tamatoa. Maui peered into the darkness, trying to identify its source.
There were patches of some sort of thick slime clinging to the walls of the cave. The viscous substance pulsed faintly with light, cycling through a variety of colors. One moment it was a brilliant blue, the next a glowing green, then a pulsating purple, followed by a bizarre blue again.
Out of the corner of his eye, Maui saw Tamatoa's antennae swing towards the odd, luminous substance. They reached out ahead, glowing pink stripes leaving faint trails as they moved through the shadows. The long antennae quivered slightly, as if Tamatoa had gotten wind of a particularly interesting scent.
Then it hit Maui, too. "Ugh!" His face screwed up, nose scrunched. Oh, it was foul. It was rank. It smelled like someone had left a dead pig's carcass to fester under the hot summer sun for a month, then elected to cover up the stench by piling week-old rotten fish on top. It was the most horrific smell he could ever remember having the displeasure of encountering.
Poor Tamatoa! With his particularly keen sense of smell, the crab must be miserable. Maui turned to look at his friend. Tamatoa must be in agony. He—
He was eating it.
Maui gaped, staring in mingled horror and revulsion as his friend stuffed a clawful of the reeking slime into his mouth.
"Gross, Tamatoa," he admonished, once he finally managed to find his voice, "don't eat that!"
"Why not?" the crab mumbled through a mouthful of the horrible stuff.
"Because it's disgusting. Anything that smells that bad is bound to be bad for you."
Tamatoa merely rolled his eyes with great theatricality. "Tastes fine to me."
Disgusted, Maui scrunched his face up. There was really no stopping the crab when he decided to eat something, though, and so he threw his hands up in defeat. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
They hadn't gone very far before Maui noticed Tamatoa slowing down. Arching an eyebrow, Maui glanced over to his friend with an unspoken question. The crab's expression was twisted into one of discomfort, but he flicked his antennae nonchalantly and quickened his pace to keep up. Maui shrugged and continued on, leading them deeper into the network of caverns towards their goal.
They were getting close to the rookery and Maui grinned eagerly. Through his excitement, however, he silently reminded himself to still to step softly and carefully. It was imperative that they keep quiet as they approached.
Only a few minutes later, the crab was lagging again. Maui stopped this time, turning to face his friend. Tamatoa's eyes were drawn up close together, squeezed into a pained squint. Just as Maui opened his mouth to whisper a question, Tamatoa let out a low groan, quiet yet still dreadfully loud in the silent cave.
"Shh!" Maui reprimanded him hastily.
The crab's eyestalks curved into a sideways glance. "I hate to admit it," he began in a reluctant whisper, "but you might have been right about that stuff."
Maui shushed him again, but couldn't resist a little triumphant smirk. "Told you so!"
Tamatoa shot him a withering look.
"Suck it up, buttercup," Maui chided, keeping his voice low. "We're almost there."
Ignoring Tamatoa's mumbled protest, Maui pressed on. Farther ahead, he could just barely make out what looked like a series of shadowy nests in the distance, with glowing gold peeking out from within them. Victory was at hand!
Moving slowly, with each footfall placed silently, Maui advanced.
HICCUP!
The sound broke through the silence like a clap of thunder. And, strangely enough, just like thunder it was accompanied by a flickering flash of light.
Maui winced, looking urgently ahead to the nests. It was only after he confirmed that the birds hadn't been disturbed by the sound that Maui turned back to glare in annoyance at Tamatoa. But as soon as he caught sight of his friend, Maui's glare evaporated and he had to stifle a laugh.
Tamatoa had his pincers up, covering his mouth as he looked at Maui with startled eyes. That wasn't what had Maui forcing giggles away, though. No, it was the crab's bioluminescence. Ordinarily colored predominantly in turquoise, now the crab was a garish green. Stripes of yellow and orange streaked across his face, replacing the pink and blue markings usually there.
As Maui watched in disbelief, the crab's body jumped with another hiccup. Tamatoa's colors flickered again, shifting now to bright purple, accented in orange and green on his face. Maui stared, dumbfounded.
"What are you staring at?!" Tamatoa hissed around his pincers, clearly annoyed. "I—" He was cut off by another hiccup, his colors flipping back to his normal scheme of cool turquoise and blue.
Maui opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Tamatoa, your colors," he managed in a thin, strained whisper.
"My—?" The crab hiccuped again, flickering once more to a green and orange hue. Tamatoa's eyes swiveled, taking it all in and then widening in alarm. "My beautiful bioluminescence!" he gasped, far too loud.
"SHUSH!" Maui admonished urgently. "You'll wake the birds!"
"But my—" Another hiccup, another shift to purple. Tamatoa's eyes, if possible, went even wider. "No, that's hideous! Don't look!"
"Quiet!" Maui demanded again, glancing back to the nesting area, where by some miracle the racket hadn't yet awoken the birds.
Distressed and agitated, Tamatoa let out a soft wail. "Make it stop!"
Maui had to shut him up, otherwise this whole thing was going to be blown. "Try holding your breath!"
Tamatoa looked at him like he was a particularly stupid child. "I'm a crab, I don't breathe like that!" He hiccuped again, returning to his usual coloration. "Ah! That's bett—" Another hiccup, back to green. "Nono, that's worse!" He threw his pincers up over his head, as if trying to hide.
It was all too much—the hiccups, the flickering, the crab's distressed embarrassment. Maui clapped a hand over his mouth, but it was far too late. The giggles erupted, spilling from behind his hand and unstoppable despite Maui's best efforts.
As soon as the laughter started, Tamatoa's eyes sharpened and he fixed his gaze on Maui in a fierce scowl. "Don't you dare laugh at m—"
A hiccup interrupted the crab, turning him back to his normal colors again. Maui only laughed harder, the giggles bubbling up unchecked.
"But what about the bir—" Tamatoa tried, but was interrupted by yet another hiccup. Green and orange light glowed around him.
Maui clutched at his sides, laughing now so hard that it was beginning to hurt. Gasping for breath, he tried to contain his gales of laughter but it was no use.
"Mau—" Hiccup! Flicker! "—the bir—" Hiccup! Flicker! "—the BIRDS!"
Then there was a new sound, cutting through Maui's laughter and Tamatoa's hiccuping—a high, shrill screech punctuated by a flapping of wings.
The birds were awake.
All at once, the cavern was alive with the angry screams of birds. Out of the darkness, they swooped at Maui and Tamatoa, slashing with sharp beaks and curving talons.
Even that couldn't stem Maui's laughter.
"Maui—" Hiccup! "—we have to—" Hiccup! "—go!" Tamatoa shouted above the din.
The crab, still hiccuping and flickering in the dark, gave Maui a hard shove with his pincer towards the exit. Still cackling wildly, Maui let himself be herded along.
They ran back through the tunnels, retracing their steps to the safety of the forest. The cavern walls flashed with blue and green and purple light as they went, a strobing light show courtesy of Tamatoa's hiccups. All the while, Maui laughed and laughed—even as the birds hurtled themselves at them.
Only once they exited into the sunlight did the birds break off their pursuit and retreat back into their dark, cavernous rookery. Panting and wheezing, Maui tried to rein in his giggles. But Tamatoa was still hiccuping and, although there were no bioluminescent markings to change in the sunlight, Maui just couldn't stop laughing.
"This isn't funny, Maui!" Tamatoa hissed, half sulking as he glared at Maui. "This—" Hiccup!
Maui whooped with laughter, collapsing onto the forest floor and leaning against a tree trunk for support.
Petulant, the crab kicked a spray of sand at Maui, who barely noticed through his giggles.
"You'd better hope—" Hiccup! "—everything is the right color when this is over!"
Finally, Maui managed to get his guffaws down to a manageable snicker. He looked up at Tamatoa, whose face was a mask of annoyance—clearly covering up for his embarrassment. Wheezing his way back to the ability to speak, Maui opened his mouth to say something.
SPLAT!
Something wet landed in Maui's hair. He looked up into the branches of the tree he was under. An enormous bird, the last of the many which had chased them, was sitting just above him with a malicious look in its eye.
No. No bird would dare—
Now it was Tamatoa who began to laugh, smirking at him and pointing a claw at the white streak of bird droppings in Maui's luxurious, pristinely maintained curls.
"Hey, don't worry—" Hiccup! "—they say that's good luck!"
Maui scowled, but Tamatoa just went on laughing and hiccuping until Maui had little choice but to join in the laughter again, too.