I love him. There's no hiding it anymore. But we're pretending.
face to face and heart to heart
we're so close, yet so far apart
I close my eyes I look away
that's just because I'm not okay
Its killing me. Seeing him with Jesse.
But I hold on, I stay strong
wondering if we still belong
We jut broke up. He didn't give me a reason. He just said it was for the better. It made me feel like shit. I've never felt so bad about myself. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him, he made me feel like that by walking out. And now he's with someone else.. But he keeps giving me these looks, and there's still that softness in his eyes.. It makes me wonder..
will we ever say the words we're feeling
reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
will we ever have a happy ending
or will we forever only be pretending
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending
Seeing him walk down the street, with jesses hand in his, where my hand should me, where I belong..
how long do I fantasize
make believe that it's still alive
imagine that I am good enough
and we can choose the ones we love
Silent tears run down my face, as I rush past them, trying to act invisible, the pain ripping me to shreds. I cant help but notice the look in his eyes as I push past them.
but I hold on, I stay strong
wondering if we still belong
Throwing my head back onto the car seat, I try and control my tears, try to push the pain away, just for a little bit. I look over to him, he's stopped and is looking towards me..
will we ever say the words we're feeling
reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
will we ever have a happy ending
or will we forever only be pretending
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be
I just drive. And drive. And drive. Until there's no road left. I go home, and sink into bed, clutching at his sweatshirt. That look. The look he gave me. What the hell does it mean? I gave him everything.. I loved him.. No.. I love him.
keeping secrets safe
every move we make
seems like no one's letting go
and it's such a shame
cause if you feel the same
how am I supposed to know
"Kurt? Blaine's here, do you, um, want me to tell him to leave..? Or..?" dad calls awkwardly from the stairs. My mind and heart race. Why is he here..? I sit myself up, wipe away my tears and straighten my normally poised self. "Act cool." I mumble to myself before saying "Okay dad, let him up." there was silence for a moment before dads head popped into my door, studying me. He knows how hard its been. He saw it all unfold. "Are you sure kiddo? 'cause you don't owe him anything, so you don't have to do this.. Its okay.." I just smile at him and nod, because for once, its okay. I can do this.
will we ever say the words we're feeling
reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
will we ever have a happy ending
or will we forever only be pretending
Blaine steps inside, tears stain his face, his curly hair is a mess and he looks like he's about to break down. "I didn't.. I didn't think I was good enough for you.. Cause your so.. Your so strong.. And I'm so weak.. Please.. Kurt.. I'm so sorry.." his voice is rough and breaks as tears fall down his face faster with each word. I feel awkward just standing there while he pours his heart out so I walk over and hug him as tightly as I can. "Baby, can we not keep pretending?" he mumbles into my shoulder. All I do is nod, cause I'm finally home.
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending
No. We won't.