Hello guys! this is another story that has nothing to do with my NCIS chronicles, but its a thing that popped into my head, after watching a movie. I hope you like it! if not, than i'm so sorry :(

If so. please review and stay with this story :D cause its going to have more than 1 chapter ;) haha

Enjoy your reading :)

Ziva's apartment, 4:30 am

Ziva woke up in her bed, At home. Yes she was home, in America that it then. It had been two weeks since Tony, McGee and Gibbs had saved her from Somalia. From Saleem and his followers. Ducky had checker her out and discovered so much about what happened to her.

She had talked to Tony and Gibbs trusted her again. Finally everything was cleared up. Well she thought so in the beginning. As Ducky had suggested her to see someone to talk to, she said she would. She lied to the older man. She didn't. How could she talk to anyone, about this? She never wanted to talk about it again. He also said she had to stay home for 3 weeks, to settle back into life.

Ziva stood up from her bed, she saw on her alarm that it was 4:30 am. She didn't want to stay at home anymore. She walked over to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. She took off of the little clothing she had on, and looked at her bruises. The ones from Somalia were slowly fading away. But then she looked at the other ones. The ones on her arms. No, those ones were not from Saleem or any other men in the camp. She did those herself. After she came back, Ziva thought she was going crazy! She ignored it and thought it would go away. Little did she know that it didn't. After a while she started to listen to the voice. Oh the voice was just like Saleem's. She hated it. but she couldn't stop listening to it. He was right. He was always right.

''You the deserve the pain, Ziva. You know that'' It said. The new bruises were no cuts, like most of these people have. They were burn marks. ''You have to do it! I hurt you every day. You deserve it!'' It spoke again.

Slowly Ziva picked up the lighter that was lying next to the sink. She lit the lighter and brought is slowly to her arm. As he began to warm, her face made an aching look. But she did not stop until she felt the skin really burn.

She did this 3 times. Once done, 3 big places on her arm were burned. She looked to herself in the mirror. It hurt so much, but this time she didn't cry about it.

''What the hell am I doing?'' she asked herself. ''You are getting what you deserve'' The voice said. She shook her had to get the voice out of her mind. When she didn't hear him anymore she put her arm under the lukewarm water and so it didn't hurt anymore.

After 15 minutes she showered and dressed herself and made her way to NCIS.

…..

NCIS HQ, 5:55 am

Gibbs walked out of the elevator and into the still dark bullpen. He thought he was the first one to be there, since… yeah.. he's always the first one. He had his coffee in his hand and walked to his desk. In the corner of his eye, he saw a little light shining. It came from Ziva's desk. She was far back in her thoughts and she first hadn't noticed the silver haired older man, standing in front of her desk.

Gibbs cleared his throat. Ziva jumped a little. ''Morning Gibbs'' She said calmly, remaining in her chair.

''What are you doing here Ziva?'' He asked and took a sip from his coffee.

''I was overwhelming myself with thoughts at home. I thought if I came here and had some work, I feel better'' Ziva explained, half telling the truth.

Gibbs looked at her. She was not fully looking at him. More like looking to the best spot next to him on the other side of the bullpen area in the wall.

''Does it work?'' He asked.

''Up to now, yes it does'' She nodded. Gibbs took another sip from his coffee she looking at her. She didn't know what to think about it and spoke. ''I'm fine Gibbs, really'' She said trying to pull off a half smile.

He nodded slightly. ''What does your therapist think about this?''

''She said that, if it makes me feel better, it's a great way to return to normal again'' Ziva lied.

''Okay then. But no field work for you'' He agreed and went to his desk.

''Thank you'' She replied and returned to whatever she was working on.

An hour later McGee and Tony, walked in on the same time for a change.

''So my night was great!'' Tony exclaimed to McGee, who laughed about the story.

''Hear you had a good time?'' Ziva asked, but remaining to look at her papers. McGee and Tony looked at each other. McGee walked over to his desk and Tony slowly sat down behind his and placed his backpack onto the ground, looking at her.

''Yes I had'' He said his big smile fading away. ''What are you doing here Ziva?'' He asked.

''Working on paperwork, Tony. Something you often forget'' Ziva dropped her pen and looked at him. He looked to Gibbs and then back to Ziva. ''What?'' She asked.

''Good to have you back Ziva'' He smiled.

''Thank you Tony'' She nodded and McGee said the same and she also nodded to him. Tony and McGee started up their computers and started working also.

…

Throughout the day, the team was given a case. Why did they get this case? Ziva was not happy about it and it showed, somehow. It was about a little boy whose father was abusive and the boy was all covered in bruises. Ziva had acted out towards the father nearly hit him. But instead, her racing fist ended up on the wall next to his head.

It wasn't the first time Ziva was a little more aggressive that the rest of the team. But this time it was different. And Tony didn't like it.

As she plopped on her chair, she was rubbing her knuckles. There were forming bruises on it.

''Here'' Tony said as he placed an icepack on her hand. ''It will help''

Ziva looked at it and then accepted the icepack. ''Thank you. and sorry''

''You know the rules Ziva. But since you already said it, what are you sorry for?'' Tony asked he was confused. ''Since when does she say that?''

''For acting out''

''You do that more often Ziva. It is nothing new'' Tony tried but he knew he was not telling to truth, just trying to make her feel better.

''It's just hurting a kid. I cannot understand. It makes me mad and I acted out'' She explained.

''Don't worry about it Zeev. Five more minutes from his behavior towards you and I would have punched him myself''

Ziva showed a half smile. But then… ''You're making thinks too beautiful Ziva. Don't you get it? he's only saying this to make you feel better. I'm disappointed at you! you should have had hit him. Letting him know how you feel'' The voice in her head spoke. ''Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom'' She only said and she stood up, leaving the icepack and Tony behind.

On her way out of the bullpen she walked against Gibbs. He nearly let his coffee fall. ''Sorry Gibbs!'' She apologized.

''She did it again!'' Tony thought.

''Rules Ziva'' Gibbs stated.

''So—'' Ziva began but got herself off. ''I know'' She said instead and walked further.

''Is she alright?'' Gibbs asked as he walked into the bullpen.

''I don't know. She nearly hit that guy in the interrogation room'' Tony said.

''I know I saw it. You think she went back to work too early?'' Gibbs asked and took a sip of his coffee.

''No I think she just hated that guy. But I will keep an eye in her'' Tony suggested.

''You always have DiNozzo'' Gibbs said and he sat down behind his desk.

''What do yo—'' Tony began but he stopped himself. What was Gibbs saying? Was it bad? Was it good? Was it too much? ''For now I just keep an eye on her! Seriously this time''

...

Ziva threw water in her face. She wasn't wearing any make up today so it would not mess up. She looked at herself in the mirror. ''Is it really that bad, that he wants to make be feel better? He wants me to feel good, that's a good thing right?'' She asked herself.

''Are you seriously thinking that right now? I knew there was a reason I came in your head!'' The voice said. Ziva immediately got a bad feeling again. She knew what she had to do. ''You have to be punished for such thoughts!'' in defeat Ziva pulled her lighter out of her pocket.

…..

Ten minutes later Ziva walked back into the bullpen where Tony, Gibbs and now McGee too were waiting for her.

''You're alright Ziva?'' Tony asked first.

''I'm fine Tony, I just didn't want to mop the floor so I went to the bathroom to pee'' Ziva tried to joke.

And it seemed to work. They went back to work. Ziva grabbed the icepack that remained on her desk and put it on her fresh wound. She had still her sleeve over it, so that they couldn't see it. but McGee had noticed a difference.

''Uhm Ziva? I thought you hurt your knuckles?'' He asked.

Ziva was startled, that they had noticed and all eyes on her was not doing anything good. ''Uhm.. I hurt my wrist while hitting the wall, it's just to make sure that it's okay'' She lied. Tony and McGee looked back to their work, but Gibbs remained looked at Ziva. She didn't even notice it. She maybe was telling the truth about her knuckles and wrist. But he saw she was rubbing her whole arm. she looked nervous

''Why would she be nervous?'' He thought. But the day went by and Ziva did not made more weird scene's, so he let it go.

….

As the day past they could all go home. McGee and Gibbs went home. After that Tony made his way to leave, noticing Ziva wasn't. He saw she was in deep thoughts and probably hadn't noticed the time. He walked over to her and put a firm hand on her arm to get her attention. He jumped when he noticed that she flinched, and it seem to hurt. She pulled her arm away.

''What is it Tony?'' She asked trying to hide the fact it still hurt.

''Just letting know it's time to go'' He said watching her expression.

''Oh okay. Thank you'' She simply replied and wrapped up her work. Tony stayed looking at her and she noticed the eyes. ''Something else I can help you with, Tony?''

''No nothing. Nothing at all'' He said and walked to the elevator. ''Good night Ziva''

Ziva watched the elevator door closing. And she rested her elbows on her desk , burying her face in her hands. ''What if he has noticed?''

''Don't you think he would have said something by now? Get over yourself, they are not paying attention to you, Ziva'' The voice in her head spoke.

''Your right''

''Of course I'm right! I'm always right!''

Ziva grabbed her bag and went home. It had been a long day and she was more tired than she had hoped to be.

…..

Gibbs's house, 22:30 pm

Gibbs as always, working on his boat. He had a glass of bourbon stand next to him and he had music quietly playing in the background.

''That is new'' Tony thought out load.

''You watching me, is also new, DiNozzo'' Gibbs replied. Tony then realized he was thinking out loud and made his way down the stairs. ''To what do I owe this please?''

''It's not a pleasure to be here, at the moment'' Tony said and he sat down on one of the wooden boxes. Gibbs heard the tone of Tony and let go of his tools. He took a seat next to Tony and looked at him.

''Why are you here than, Tony?''

''She's not herself boss. She's jumpy and even more light burned than normal (oh if Tony only know)'' He explained.

''She just was saved from a 3,5 months hurt in Somalia, don't you think she has to take some time to recover from that''

''I know. But Ducky said the bruises she had, from whatever it is, should be gone by now. And first the knuckles I can understand, but than her wrist, she said she hurt it too, while hitting the wall, I hesitated. You saw that. And this evening after you left and Ziva and I were still there, I just put my hand on her arm and she looked so hurt, I was hurting her!'' He explained.

''Don't you think it's just the touch that startled her? After what she has been through and I can't imagine what, I think she just needs time''

''It was different Gibbs. I don't know why but, something, beside the fact she just got back, is going on with her''

''You've kept a close I on her. Not down her shirt for a change'' Gibbs joked.

''I never— Yes I have watched her close. She's my partner boss, I'm worried about her'' Tony explained. Gibbs murmured about that and went back to working on his boat.

''Well, you're an investigator, so investigate something'' Gibbs suggested.

''You're worried too, otherwise you wouldn't let me figure it out. I can see it in your eyes, boss. You also want to know what's going on with her''

''Go home DiNozzo'' Gibbs only replied.

Tony smiled. ''Goodnight boss. So you tomorrow'' He said and he left ''Starting tomorrow I will start operation Dah-veed'' He thought and went home.

So, that's it for this chapter! i hope you liked it! :D please review i love reviews!

Cyaa! Leonie