Chain reactions.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters and I'm not making any profit from them.
So this is my first slash and I have a tendency to stay away from anything sexual, so this might be dreadful.
Keeps switching P.O.V's from Spock to Kirk.
The Cantrops of Alpha Eli vii were three meters long. They had scales and claws. Jim had trusted his science officer implicitly when he had said that the planet had no life forms that posed a threat. So when the three giant reptilians had approached the away team Jim had felt weary, what man wouldn't when faced with six legged spiny bright purple monsters, but he had not been scared in any way. If Spock said they weren't dangerous then they weren't dangerous. The man had never been wrong.
He held his hand up to tell the away team not to run as the Alpha male of the Cantrops came closer.
"Stay still, if you run they may start to stampede. They're not dangerous, right Spock?"
"They're herbivores captain . The claws and teeth have developed due to the toughness of the bark on the indigenous trees. "
"And they won't stamp on us, right Spock?" Jim asked as the creature drew in a deep noisy breath through it's nose. He didn't ask to reassure himself, he trusted Spock implicitly the mans logic and instincts could not be faulted. Over the six months they had worked together he had developed a respect for the man. A respect stronger than he had ever felt for another. He asked to reassure the four other men in his away team.
"I believe they are timid creatures." Spock replied.
The Cantrop stopped a meter in front of Jim. It bent it's head low, it's black eyes were the size of dinner plates and they seemed to stare at him. It let out a high pitched whining noise. Jim saw Spock wince in pain and cover his ears with his hands. He couldn't blame him, if the noise hurt his ears then he could imagine what it was doing to the half Vulcan whose hearing was twice as sensitive.
The whining stopped but the Cantrop opened it's mouth revealing four rows of fangs. Jim closed his eyes just in time as the Cantrop roared huge breath of garbage smelling air rushed up his nose and he felt his face hit by wet sticky monster spit.
"Captain, I suggest that we run." Jim heard Spock's cool and timbre voice come from the side of him. He did not argue as he began to run half blind through the thick woods.
He could hear the thundering foot falls behind him. He knew that looking behind him would slow him down but he couldn't help himself . The snarling Cantrop was less than two meters behind him. He looked to his left and right, he could see a yellow shirted officer pass between the ancient trees. Another glance and he saw that it was Sulu.
"Split up." He shouted. He knew their chances of survival would be better if they separated and each drew the cantrops in different directions. As a pack the huge creatures could surround them and take them out.
"Spock!" He shouted, the creature roared again. His anxiety built as he glanced around, he could not catch any glimpse of his first office through the thick mossy trees.
" I am here captain ." Spock's voice came from his right he saw the quick flash of blue in diagonally in front of him and then dropped back matching his pace to run besides him. Keeping him close to protect him as any good first officer would. Jim felt a rush of relief , Spock always made things right.
"I thought you said they weren't dangerous ."
"It seems I was wrong. Their violent behavior maybe due to it being mating season they are protecting the females of the pack."
"Mating season?"
"Do you have a plan?"
'"Run?"
"May I make a suggestion ?"
"Yes Spock!" Jim shouted a exasperated.
"We passed a rock outcrop half a mile back, there was a small cave. I believe we will could take refuge in there."
Jim glanced Behind, the Cantrop's snarling mouth was filled with saliva, he didn't care if Spock said these things were herbivores, that thing clearly wanted to eat him.
"Lead the way."
Spock ran a few paces ahead of him. Jim wondered whether the Cantrop would tire be ore he did. As his legs were already aching and his eyes were blurring from lack of oxygen . His chest was burning he almost lost his footing but steadied himself at the last moment.
He saw the rock outcrop coming up. He felt himself slowing . Spock glanced over his shoulder at him, concern was clearly showing on his usually inanimate face. Just a little further, just a little further Jim kept saying to himself. Every breath caused him pain.
Finally he saw the opening. Spock stopped at the entrance, as Jim reached him Spock grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him through the opening. He felt a sudden stinging sensation as he scrapped his shoulder on the jagged rocks of the narrow opening. He found himself being pushed further into the pitch darkness of the cave. He heard a scarping coming from outside and a hit rush of fowl smelling air came down the narrow tunnel like cave. Jim found himself holding his breath even though his cheat was aching and he was going dizzy. He heard the crunching of foliage. And then he saw the shadow of Spock come close to him in the darkness.
"I believe we are safe here for the time being."
Jim let out the breath he was holding. All he could hear for a few moments was his deep rasping breaths all he could feel was his heart slamming against his rib cage. When the spots before his eyes had finally cleared he looked up at his first officer, he could just make out his stoic features as his eyes got used to the darkness.
"Not dangerous ." Jim gasped. " Not fucking dangerous ."
He wanted to hit Spock, he wanted to shout at him for putting his team in danger. Four people were running for their lives. Four people that Jim was !responsible for were in danger, for all he knew they could be injured, lost, dead.
"I seem to have overlooked some factors." Spock said in his usual calm emotionless voice.
"Overlooked factors." Jim repeated.
"That is what I said captain ."
"You...bloody...infuriating."
Jim didn't know why he did it. He was filled with adrenaline a little fear and a lot of relief. Covered in
Sweat, animal drool and the Blood that was oozing from the gash in his shoulder. He was wheezing out painful breaths. And Spock standing in the dim light, pristine, his wide well toned chest moving in the slightest of pants.
Jim kissed him. He was gasping out the words trying to express the frustration that he was feeling then it seemed as if his hands were acting of their own accord were grabbing the sides of the Vulcan's face. Fingers spread out across high cheek bones, pinkies resting behind pointed ears and he kissed him.
He had kissed his stunned unresponsive logical friend with a furious intensity. Moving his lips over his almost almost as if he wished to hurt him. Then as quickly as the insanity that had brought about the act had come it faded and Jim pulled away. He stared into the cold chocolate colored eyes not knowing what to do or say.
Something was building in Spock, as the captains firm body collided with his own. Spock felt a strange tension in the pit of his stomach. He had been coldly logical as the captains hands had framed his face, the strange mixture of frustration and exhaustion and underlying repressed desire. Spock knew a thing or two about repressed desire, In Vulcan's it led to a period of lost control and insanity every seven years. Perhaps that was what was happening to his captain now. He knew of Jim's reputation as a womanizer and their certainly hadn't been any women in his life the last six months.
But there was something building in Spock, he could feel it dark and looming, bubbling to the surface of his mind eating away at his barriers. If he was completely honest with himself he had felt the strong emotion before when he had found himself alone with Jim.
He had kept his eyes open as the captains lips had assaulted his own. It was a far more passionate and intense action than he had ever felt during his brief relationship with Uhura.
Jim released him, he watched the captain stumble backwards a shocked expression gracing beautiful Grecian features.
The barriers came down and the raw bubbling emotion broke through.
Jim didn't process what was happening to him. There was not time to. One second a cool and collected Spock stood in front of him, no emotion discernible in his eyes. And then something had passed over his face and Jim had felt hot moist lips pressed against his. Fingers grasped his hair. Tongue slipping into his mouth taking him by surprise but making his already accelerated heart beat race even faster. He was shoved roughly against the jagged rock wall, his attention partly on the discomfort in his back partly on the hot solid mass pinning him. Spock his second in command was kissing him with a reckless abandon that Jim had never experienced in Humans let alone thought could ever occur in a Vulcan.
When Jim was finally able to register a thought it was that he had kissed Spock first admittedly he neither knew why or had expected him to respond except to say 'I realize Humans often experience high levels of adrenaline in dangerous situations but would you please refrain from trying to initiate sexual relations with me to rid yourself of the hormone increase.' Jim had never kissed a man before, he had never felt any desire to. Well not until three weeks ago when Spock had accompanied him back to his room after a night with Scotty and Bones, a night that had naturally included heavy drinking. That night when Spock had dropped him at his door and he'd clapped Spock on the shoulder and Spock had raised his eyebrow in that infuriating adorable and tempting manner then Jim had wanted to kiss Spock. But just that one time, really, and he had been drunk so it didn't count. It was actually surprisingly nice kissing Spock he was warm and he had smelt of grass and rain and outdoorsy stuff, plus his lips were much softer than he would have imagined a guys to be, not that he'd ever imagined a guy lips of courses.
But being kissed by Spock, well that was something entirely different that was hands and tongue and so much hard body pushed against his own. It was like being caught up in a tornado, he couldn't see or breath or think properly and it was just... Wow. But why? And he was feeling dizzy and wobbly and becoming quite horny from it all.
Jim reached his hands up, he placed them firmly on Spock's well sculptured chest and pushed hard against him. Spock barely budged but he had managed to catch his attention because he gave a deep growl that shock Jim to his very core, it was the most arousing sound he had ever heard. Spock took a step backwards freeing Jim, though his hands still rested in his hair.
"Breath." Jim gasped in explanation. Spock tilted his head slightly.
" I am breathing Jim."
The fact that it was the first time that Spock had ever called Jim by his first name was not lost on him. He supposed not even Vulcan's could be formal after playing tonsil tennis with someone, or having pressed themselves so close too another person that every part of their anatomy was very clearly felt.
"No I need to breath." Jim gasped.
Spock starred at him for a moment. He seemed as cool as ice on the outside, almost completely expressionless but his eyes seemed to burn in a stark contrast.
"Then do so." He said bending his head and starting to attack Jim's neck, sucking and nibbling in a way that made Jim grasp and his blood start to rush to his nether regions. He would have been embarrassed if Spock's arousal hadn't been clear from almost the moment he had started kissing him.
"Spock!" Jim said pushing against him again, there was no way he would ever be dominated by a horny Vulcan. The idea of dominating a horny Vulcan was much more tempting to him. He was always on top unless he choose not to be.
This time Spock pulled right away, he stood two feet away staring at Jim, this time he looked reasonably disheveled. He panted slightly, Jim noticed his hands were trembling. He did not think he had ever seen an unintentional movement in him before, it made him seem almost vulnerable. Jim pushed that thought to the back of his mind, there was nothing vulnerable about Spock. He was the strongest person he knew, whether in physical strength or emotional. Jim close the gap between them placing his hands back on Spock's warm face, it was quickly becoming tinged with a slight green blush. His chocolate brown eyes, still burning with a newly discovered lust would not meet Jim's icy blue ones.
"Spock, look at me." He said his Voice unconsciously switching to the ordering tones of a captain. Spock's eyes flicked up to his somewhat unwillingly, Jim had noticed a few times that they were a wonderful color but he had never felt so moved, almost hypnotized by them.
"What are you doing Spock?" Jim asked this time making his voice gentle and low. Spock's eyes expressed a confusion, he opened his mouth again to speak but hesitated and stopped. He shook his head slightly, 'lost, lost and vulnerable' Jim thought again.
"I believe I was kissing you captain." He muttered.
"Jim. Spock call me Jim."
"Whilst I wear the star fleet uniform I must endeavor to be your subordinate. You are my captain and I should not have forgotten that."
Jim acted impulsively, he grabbed Spock's wrists and dragged them firmly upwards, Spock's mouth opened shocked and Jim was so happy to have caused an actual expression in the man that he pressed his lips firmly against his again. He held his arms up with one hand and then flicked his other to the bottom of the soft blue shirt. He broke the kiss just as Spock began to respond. He didn't want to, in fact he loathed to move away from that soft moist gently moving warmth. But he had to look down to see what he was doing with the science uniform. Frustrated he let go of Spock's wrists and used both hands to pull up the blue shirt revealing the black under shirt that clung to Spock's flat stomach. Jim imagined placing his lips on that stomach and gave an involuntary little shiver.
"Captain." Spock muttered lowering his arms.
"Stop Spock." Jim ordered again, reaching up to touch Spock's hand making him pause then raise them above his head again. Jim whipped the blue shirt off in one smooth movement having to stand on the tips of his toes to do so.
Spock looked down at him, a question in his eyes. He slowly dropped his arms back to his side. Jim freely took in the thin but muscular body the tight undershirt revealed. He had often seen Spock working out but had averted his eyes, to stare would have been impolite, but here, just the two of them he could let his eyes wonder across the tight chest muscles down to the clear bulge stretching the material of his black slacks.
"Captain." Spock said again, voice uncertain.
" Jim, Spock. You're not in uniform now."
"It appears not Jim."
"I think I want you." Jim said, although he had never been with a man, never considered it, well maybe a few times, he knew he wanted Spock. But it was how he wanted him that was more shocking. He didn't want pleasure. He wanted to make the man feel, he wanted to see emotion on his face. He wanted to make him gasp make him moan and shiver.
" I do not understand." Spock said.
Jim gave a small chuckle.
"Nor do I Spock, nor do I."
He crushed his lips to Spock's and this time his response was immediate. But as Spock firmly pushed his body against his Jim wouldn't let himself be forced back against the wall. He pushed back himself no space left between their bodies Spock's erection was pushed firmly against Jim's stomach, the feeling drove him wild he felt as if his whole body was going to burn up.
Jim pulled away to breath, he stood up on the tips of his toes and nibbled the edge of those gorgeous pointed ears. He found him self being roughly shoved towards the wall again as Spock let out a loud rumbling inhuman growl. The last remaining part of Jim that was still capable of thought was about to fly out the window along with him somewhat weak inhibitions but it gave him one last thought before it did 'hell no'. Jim flicked his foot between Spock's legs hooked behind his ankle and pulled hard, effectively sweeping Spock's legs from under him.
Spock felt a sharp pain as his backside hit the uneven and hard floor of the cave, he silently cursed himself, his reflexes were usually a lot better something was distracting him. His eyes flicked up to see Jim stood over him, the sudden pain had temporally brought him back to the cognition that he had lost during the last ten minutes. It was the strangest of sensations to feel sensations with out accessing them. To give himself over to emotions and desire, to feel them fully without suppression, unfortunately not without shame. It was a strange feeling to loose oneself completely in a moment, it made him uncomfortable, vulnerable.
Jim bent over him, Spock watched a part of him wanted to stop him but his Vulcan curiosity stopped him, it was as if his body and mind were separate. He felt the rush of adrenaline, rapid beating of his own heart, the haggard breaths the strange tightness in his stomach and the swelling at his pelvis, all quite unfamiliar to him. Half uncomfortable, half delicious. His mind was processing and cataloguing all the new experiences.
Jim pushed roughly against his chest catching him off guard and forcing him to lie down, before he could look back up or ask a question Jim was straddling him. Spock felt a deep moan come from his throat as Jim's fingers brushed lightly over the front of his trousers. Spock felt as if something was building In him frustrating, intense tightness in his lower stomach. He felt Jim fumbling with the opening of the trousers heard the tearing sound that came with there opening then gasped as he felt cool fingers brushing down his penis. He felt a slightly warmer wet tightness close around him. He gasped and moaned as the warm tightness moved up and down him. It was becoming hard to fully form thoughts, his body was tingling, then tightness in his stomach almost painful, he felt himself trembling uncontrollably. Despite all that the feeling though frustrating was pleasant, he knew he was drawing close, building up to something.
"Jim." Spock gasped not knowing what he wanted to say.
He felt a wave of pleasure fill his body, everything else was blocked out, it was the strongest most amazing thing he had ever experienced.
Jim watched as Spock's eyes flickered shut his mouth opened as he gasped and moaned. He was beautiful, Jim had never appreciated how beautiful, especially when his face showed anything other than it's usual stoic expression.
"Jim."
He heard Spock breathless say his name there were hints of reverence in his voice and Jim felt himself moan in response. He allowed his own hand to travel down and stroke himself through the thin material of his regulation slacks, the pressure was becoming to much, he would cum soon.
He felt Spock tremble and twitch below him. He moved away just in time as Spock came over the tight black material. Jim who had been trying not to think too hard about what he was doing he half expected to be grossed out by the sight but he found that it turned him on even more, if that was possible. He watched Spock as his trembling body stilled and his breath came even.
Spock's chocolate brown eyes opened, Jim felt as if he were melting. Spock's face became stoic again, his eyes cold and lust free. Jim thought for a second that the Vulcan was going to hit him. Spock's eyes traveled down Jim's Body resting where Jim's hand was still stroking himself. He raised himself on his elbows and looked Jim straight in the eyes for what felt to Jim like the longest of minutes. Then he quirked his right eyebrow up in that irritatingly sexy way of his.
"Do you require assistance?"
Jim groaned.
"Was that your answer Captain?" Spock asked his hand reaching down and stroke Jim's in a gesture more gentle and tender than Jim had known he was capable of, there was a lot going on under that stoic expression.
Jim gave a small chuckle.
" I wasn't expecting that from you Spock."
" It is bad manners to leave ones mate unsatisfied, I am assuming that statement applies in this situation."
Spock knocked Jim's hand away from his trousers and began to undo them. Jim came quickly the pressure in his groin had been building whilst he had been satisfying Spock.
Then Spock did something that completely shocked him as he recovered from his orgasm. He sat up, drawing himself close to Jim and kissed him, a gentle soft almost loving kiss. Jim stared at him shocked.
"If I may make a suggestion Captain, you should contact the Enterprise."
"Yes, of course." Jim said flustered. He had acted extremely unprofessional, his men were out their in danger still and he had ignored that for a simple hook up, well a rather complicated hook up but a hook up
All the same. Usually he trusted Spock to keep him grounded and focused, they matched each other perfectly as a captain and first officer in that sense. Jim wondered what had gotten into the both of them, he couldn't complain, not really he had started it and it had been very satisfactory to see the emotions flicker across Spock's face and to know just how soft and subtle those lips were.
Jim moved off Spock, his first officer was on his feet before him. Jim held back a laugh at seeing the Vulcan stood there with his trousers hanging open his black shirt covered in the evidence of both there excitement. He stopped himself, he had to get his brain back in gear. Spock held out his hand and Jim took it and found himself being hauled to his feet, he sometimes forgot how strong Vulcan's were in comparison with humans. Not daring to look at his first officer Jim reached into his pockets doing up his trousers as he did so. He took his communicator and flicked it open. He took a deep breath and tried to make his voice steady as he spoke.
"Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise."
" Luteinent Uhura here, Captain. Good to hear from you."
" Have you heard from any other members of the away team?"
"We have not heard from commander Spock, the others a already safely aboard. "
"Spock is with me. Are there any injuries ?"
"Sulu has a broken ankle but McCoy says he'll be back on his feet by tomorrow. Shall I tell Scotty to beam you up Captain?"
Jim hesitated he looked at himself, there was still dirt and blood on his face but no visible sign of they're activities. Seemingly sensing what he was doing Spock picked up his discarded blue shirt and pulled it on covering up the mess on his his black undershirt. He nodded at Jim.
" Captain?" Uhura's voice came over the communicator.
" Yes Uhura, beam us up."
Three days after the events of Eli vii Jim stood nervously outside the quarters of his first officer. Spock had not spoken to him about what happened in the cave, In fact from the moment that they had turned to each other on the transporter platform and Spock had said 'may I be excused captain, I wish to wash' to this one Spock had not acted in anyway out off the ordinary, well what Jim considered ordinary for Spock. He had performed his duties admirably, greeted the Captain when he entered the bridge and sat at his table in the mess hall as usual. And of course what else could he expect from his damned logical second in command. Nothing on the surface had changed but Jim was sure not all was as it seemed if he knew Spock half as well as he thought he did then the mans brain was working over time trying to come up with a logical reason for his actions. Jim took a deep breath and rang the bell.
Deeds once committed cannot be undone. One event may cause a series of chain reactions from which it is hard to estimate the result. The chain must be broken. Jim had kissed him, but he had kissed Jim afterwards thus allowing the chain to continue to it's unnatural end. This was how Spock thought about the happenings in the cave during the days, trying to come up with a logical sequence of events if he could not give a logical reason for them and trying to dismiss it as unimportant. At night however he felt as if he were haunted by images his mind drew up, half memory half imagination but always of Jim touching and kissing him and each time he became aroused.
He was sat trying to meditate and clear his mind from the sexual images when the bell rang. Centering himself he stood and walked to the door, he pressed the open button. The door slide open Jim, with his icy blue was stood in front of him.
"Captain."
"Jim, Spock. We're off duty." Spock watched as Jim shifted uncomfortably on his feet ,even though talking to Spock his eyes were fixed firmly on the floor.
"Can I come in?" Jim asked.
Spock stood aside letting Jim walk past him. Those blue iced eyes flickered around the room, the captain had never been into his apartment before. Spock knew the captain had a natural curiosity much the same as his own so he understood that he was cataloguing and making inferences much the same as Spock did when in a new environment.
The door swished shut and there was a moment of uncomfortable silence be ore Jim turned to him to speak. He opened his mouth, closed it, took a deep breath and looked back at the floor.
"Captain."
Jim gave him a pointed look.
"Jim." Spock said correcting himself. " Perhaps it is best that you say what you came here to say."
Jim sighed put his hand on his hips and fixed his gaze firmly on Spock.
" What happened in the cave, I think we should talk about it."
" To what purpose."
" I don't know, to put it to rest. To know where we stand and to put any discomfort at rest."
" I am not human Jim, I do not feel the emotional discomfort that you refer to and if I did I could manage it easily." Spock answered. It wasn't a lie, not exactly it was an automatic response he had been programmed to give since he was a young child a young half human child who was trying to be as purely Vulcan as the class mates who tortured him ruthlessly. The captains face, so familiar now from months of observation flashed with a quick anger.
"Well as a Human I don't have that luxury Spock. I want to talk." His voice clearly showed his annoyance. Spock felt his own irritation rising.
" And what if I deny your request?"
"Then I'll order you to talk to me."
" I'm sure that would be a miss use of the power assigned to you as captain of a starfleet vessel."
Jim starred at him a moment, then with a sigh he flung himself down onto Spock's meditation cushions.
This was going wrong, he had wanted to have a calm conversation with Spock, not end up arguing with him. He put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths, how could the man irritate him so easily?
Perhaps he was going about this in the wrong way. How much did he really know about Spock? He knew all his little quirks, the was he would raise his eyebrow when he was unsure if something would work, that little rarely seen quirk of his lips when something amused him, he knew how he talked and could guess (almost always correctly) how he would react to a situation. He knew the man meditated everyday and enjoyed chess, books and music even though he would never admit it, he would probably just say 'they are activities that I pursue in my spare time because they allow for mental exercise, learning and cognitive growth.' He knew Spock liked plants, living plants because on a new planet he would always kneel beside some patch of fern or whatever and brush his fingers along the leaves. He knew he had not shed a single tear when his mother had died not even when Jim had (regretfully but necessarily ) shoved her death and his lack of reaction in his face. He knew he had been in some kind of relationship with Uhura, but on the rare occasions he had seen the two together Spock had seemed more guarded than usual. The way he had touched her and talked to her were as if he were playing some role he didn't fit too comfortably into.
He looked up at Spock who was stood perfectly still and expressionless look down at him, he was still beautiful, now that Jim had recognized it once it wouldn't go away.
" Sit down Spock."
"Is that an order captain?"
"A request." Jim answered not allowing himself to get himself to get back into an argument.
Spock raised his eyebrow for a second then sat across from Jim on the couch. Jim found himself wishing he had not chosen to fold himself on the floor, talk about the position of power.
"How long have you known you were Gay Spock?" Jim asked in what he considered his friendliest and least captain like tone. Both Spock's eyebrows shot up. He tilted his head in that manner that suggested he was carefully considering the question.
" Vulcan's are not homosexual captain. The main purpose of choosing a mate is to eventually reproduce with them. And as it is not possible for two men to reproduce in the natural manner homosexuality is illogical, so not possible for a Vulcan."
Jim sighed, the man was even more repressed than he thought. It had been a confusing few days for him too but he could at least accept that he had become quite attached and very attracted to Spock and he could at least entertain the thought that maybe he was bisexual and he was only just learning that fact out about himself because it seemed he also had a thing for green tinged skin, pointed ears and very mobile eyebrows.
"Consider this Spock, why did you kiss me?"
"' I was responding to the fact that you kissed me first."
Jim found himself sighing for the fifth time in ten minutes, he wonder briefly if he had broken some kind of world record, a personal one at least.
"Yes but you didn't have to kiss me. You made a choice to do so. And not to put to fine a point on it when you did kiss me you.. well you really went for it. I mean .. Come on Spock it was pretty amazing right, it's not just me right?"
Spock starred at him, there was a little tightening in his mouth and then Spock did something else Jim had never seen him do before, he sighed and seemed to slouch a tiny bit in his chair, his back was definitely not a ridged as it had been.
"Yes Jim." Spock answered, his voice somehow sounding tired. "It was pleasurable."
"Why do you sound so depressed admitting that?"
"Depression is a Human emotion Jim."
" Yeah, but you have a lot more of those human emotions than your willing to admit, don't you."
Spock didn't answer.
" It's not always a bad thing Spock."
"You believe I am a homosexual because I wished to kiss you back and found pleasure in.. I believe you call it oral sex."
"It's kind of an indication that you maybe Spock."
"Indeed." Spock looked down at his hands.
"I am a Vulcan, so I cannot be what you call gay, but theoretically if I were would I t explain a lack of... physical response to the touch of a young woman?"
"So that's what happened between you and Uhura?"
"I was speaking theoretically Jim."
" Spock, I may be a human but I'd not a stupid human."
Spock raised his eyebrow, Jim resisted the sudden urge to kiss him but not without the thought that if he'd done so in the first place then he wouldn't be trying to convince a Vulcan scientist that he was gay. He took another moment to think about the problem and why he felt it necessary to convince his first officer of that fact. Spock was his friend, wasn't he? And he did want his friend to be happy, or at least comfortable and secure as happy wasn't really in the Vulcan vocabulary. It had nothing to do with the fact that over the last few days when Spock had been tactfully ignoring anything that may have happened between them Jim had been sneaking looks at the mans well shaped backside, he had been laying in bed at night remembering the feeling of that warm body against his and the way that he had gasped his name in pleasure. It wasn't to do with the fact that when he thought about it he really enjoyed Spock's presence and found it soothing and reassuring. Or to do with the fact that Jim had been wondering if the great respect and admiration he had in the man and the fact that he always wanted to have him nearby wasn't due to Spock being a brilliant science officer and best second in command in the fleet but was due to Jim falling in love with the pointy eared bastard.
No, it wasn't that at all, he just wanted to help a friend.
" Spock, is it illogical to deny your own nature, to deny your wants and desires and force yourself to be something you are not?"
There was a long moment of silence.
"No Jim, it is not logical to deny ones own nature."
" Yet you are always denying your human side. The side of you with illogical wants and desires. " He took a deep breath, it was time to go for gold, it was a risk but one he was willing to take. " The side of you that wants me."
"Jim.."
"Don't deny it Spock, to do so would be illogical."
" Your ideas on logic are somewhat perverse."
" Welcome to the human race my friend."
"Friend?" Spock said cocking his eyebrows yet again. Jim felt a strange tightness in his stomach, he knew Vulcan's tended towards less connections than humans, though he knew the connections they did make were stronger and less fleeting. He had hoped that after six months of loyally standing by Jim's side and saving his arse Spock would consider him a friend. Part of Jim wanted to shout 'Yes Spock, I consider you a friend a good friend!' but there was that tight worry in his stomach that made him feel as if he were about to be sick and when he spoke his voice sounded small and weak even to himself.
"Am I being too presumptive?"
Those chocolate brown eyes bore into his. Spock stood and Jim feared for a moment that he would just leave him sitting there that his pushing to get Spock to talk to him he had actually pushed Spock away so that any chance of friendship or something more were destroyed.
"Considering what you have just said to me Jim, I do not think you are being presumptive enougth."
Jim soared. Did he really just say those wprds, it seemed almost too good to be true. But then those chocolate eyes were coming closer and those warm lips were on his and all doubt disappeared. Spock kissed him and he kissed him back.
Maybe a bit of a strange ending but after writing the scene in the cave I couldn't just leave it there so I added the talking bit even though I hadn't planned to.
Reviews are always appreciated.