"C'mon, just try a little bit!" Malon held a bottle filled with mysterious pink tinted liquid in front of Link's face. Link kept his hands clasped over his mouth, thrashing his head left and right wildly. Malon set the bottle on the cold stone floor with a thud! and crossed her arms over her chest.
"And why not?" She demanded her green friend, her tone sharp. Link cautiously removed his hands from his mouth and rested them on his sides. He wriggled his right foot a bit- aw man, it feel asleep.
"I am not trying another of your...concoctions," He seemed to shudder at the word concoctions, and put a hand over his already aching stomach.
Lately, Malon has been mixing strange things in with the ranch's famous Lon Lon Milk. She never explained why she was doing it, why she only made Link try them, or why she never told what each bottle contained. Link didn't really want to find out.
"That doesn't explain why you refuse to drink," She argued, sweeping a lock of red hair behind her shoulder.
Link racked his brain to come up with an excuse. He didn't have the heart to come out and tell her that they all sucked and made him want to barf. The first few things that Link could come up with were;
1, Change the subject like the clever boy he is,
2, Accidently spill all of her bottles of mystery mush and have Ingo take care of it, and then cleverly ride out on Epona like the clever boy he was,
3, Come up with the first lame excuse he could muster (like the clever man he is, yes, man now)
4, If all else fails, ride your butt out!
"Hello?" Malon waved a hand impatiently over his face and link blinked a few times, snapping back to reality.
Okay, plan start.
"Why, it's such a beautiful and great day to play with Epona, hm?"
"Don't change the subject."
...Plan B!
"Oh no, I seem to be falling-"
"Don't even try, Link. Besides, you can't fall when you're sitting down."
Darn it.
3 times the charm!
"Well okay, you want the truth, Malon?"" Link asked, tapping the floor. Malon nodded, and Link said the first thing he could think up. "I'm uh...lactose intolerant?"
...
...
...
...
"Seriously," Malon asked, raising a red eyebrow. "And yet you always come here to get more Lon Lon Milk. Suspicious." She finished, a smirk curling over her pink lips.
...
Face-palm.
"Why do you want me to drink all of this...err, stuff anyway?" Link asked the farm girl.
"Because Daddy said that drinking milk before napping will give you lice, and Ingo was too busy working his 'wonderful and fantastic job' to try. So, you were my last resort." She finished.
…
Those clever, lying clever men those men.
Link gulped and looked at the pink bottle that Malon had picked back up.
One small sip won't hurt...right?
He took the bottle in his right hand and popped off the lid with his left, placing the bottle to his lips, and took in a few drops of the liquid.
"Hey, it's not half ba-"
...
Oh, god.
"Malon, what did you put in this milk?"
"Secret!"
"MALON, WHAT IS IN THIS DANG MILK?"
"E-eep! Uh just some eggs from the cuccos...is it bad?"
Link didn't have the time to answer her, for the only thing going through his head was...
MUST. STOP. EGG AND CUCCO CYCLE.
Link picked up his sword and swung at the cuccos, feathers flying everywhere. Scared, Malon spilt her egg-milk and hid behind a crate as she watched Link go psycho.
"Hey, what's with this entire racket?" Ingo opened the door, his voice shrill through Link's rampage.
"Cluck-a-cluck-a-clu!"
Oh, no.
Link, his senses returning, had forgotten what happens when you abuse the cuccos. He grabbed Malon's hand and tugged her out the door.
"Let's get out of here!"
"Hey! Where do you think you two are going?" Ingo demanded, but Link didn't care to answer, slamming the door shut. As Link and Malon ran away from the barn, they could hear the strangled screams of Ingo ring through the air.