A/N: I own nothing. This is my reaction to Jacob and Bella kissing. Yeah, it really happened. Still think you're crazier than me? This isn't the worst of it. Rated T for language and an… imaginative mental image.
I sat on my bed, legs dangling over the edge, reading Eclipse. I was really enjoying it, and I was very sorry that it was almost over. I was at the part before the big battle, and I was a bit miffed-Jacob was carrying Bella. That was Edward's job, not the mutt's. I grumbled a bit, but I continued reading. That was when I found the part that would make me a serious Jacob hater forever.
"Jacob!" I screamed. "Get away from her, you mutt!!"
He was kissing Bella. Not to mention she was kissing him back. Damn it!
"Shit, Jacob! Shit, shit, shit! Get the hell away from her, you… you… you don't even want to hear me say it."
I kept reading, my face turning a deep red with the furious hatred creeping over me.
"Bella, you love Edward! Remember? You'll hurt him if you do this. Stop!"
I continued to read, not knowing why I didn't just go stab somebody. Finally, it got to be too much. I stood up, grabbed the book, and, screaming at the top of my lungs, chucked it across the room. It just sank to the floor. I giggled inwardly. I really had gone off the deep end. I was attacking a book, a fictional character. Oh well, it's too late for me now, I thought. I leaped at the book, throwing a bunch of junk at it as I went. I yelled again. "Die, pervert!"
I grabbed the book and started stomping on it. It was a very good thing I had another copy, because this one was about to be beyond repair. I could see Jacob in my mind's eye, being stomped on and kicked. Blood pouring forth from a wound in his sorry hide…. I really had lost it. I had no regrets, however. I grinned, wrestling with my punching bag of a book.
"Asshole!"
I laughed again. This was getting out of hand. Good thing I was home alone. Otherwise, my parents would be insisting on taking me to a shrink. Or an asylum.