Well, it's another Zetafic from me…I actually wrote this one before "Hug," but I wasn't too sure about it. It's quite different from "Hug," too, and not just because of the focus. Very different mood, here. The fic itself is from Bucky's POV (you know, the boy genius?). I know it's weird…blame it on caffeine.
Analysis
By Faria
"Stay here," you say to me, and I obey, albeit reluctantly, because I don't have a choice. Your eyes compel me, and I can't say no.
I'm only a child, after all.
That's all I am to you, all I'll ever be. And there's nothing I can do, nothing I can say, to change your mind. You wouldn't take me seriously, Ro, even if I told you. Because I'm just a little boy.
You walk off with your "friend", that unfeeling machine that stakes a claim to emotions. To human emotions. It doesn't know; it can't feel. You've only tricked it into believing it can.
Zee, you call it. Like it's a person. You're only buying into the illusion, Ro—it'll never be. You want someone to care about you, to care for you…you're looking for a purpose. And you're willing to latch on to anything.
Even a child's toy.
My toy.
Well, it was! For awhile. Until you took it back, made me give it back. I don't know why you did…I could've shared it with you, you know. I would've let you have it back eventually. Might have been awhile, but I would've.
I wouldn't deny you your purpose in life, even if it is only to pursue the freedom of a creature who cannot appreciate it. Cannot appreciate you.
I'm human too, you know.
I have feelings—more than it does, anyway.
So why do you always leave me behind?
I want to be a part of your adventure, if only out of pure curiosity. How will you escape this time? What blessing will allow you one more hour, one more day to go on running?
Will you run forever?
I don't see how you can. Maybe it can keep on with this endless charade, but you're human, Ro.
Like me.
Even though you aren't like me at all.
I don't understand you. This energy that drives you…is it something I'm missing? I've never felt that way about anything, or anyone. The closest comparison I have to that kind of passion is my love of machines, of technology. I've always felt the need to break things down, to analyze them, to know what makes them do what they do. Humans are too easy. Machines are the only challenge left.
And you, of course.
I suppose you and "Zee" will just keep on going. With or without me, your search will go on. What happens when you finally find what you're looking for? When you gain the freedom that your companion so desperately desires? Will you let it go free, and return to your own life? Or will you decide that another journey is needed, another purpose? You don't strike me as the type to stay put, so I suspect the latter.
And when you go on this next adventure, will I come with you then? I'd like to.
Maybe I'll be grown up by then.
Maybe you'll finally see me as a person, and not just a child. Not that it matters. You don't mean anything to me, Rosalie Rowan. You're just another human. Another toy. Another object to be broken down and analyzed. Just because you've got a nice laugh and a pretty smile doesn't mean I care.
After all, I'm only a child.
To you, anyway.
~*Fin*~