Eh, the regular Friends with Benefits plot line. Ideas taken from FWB!
Disclaimer: sadly, no. If I did, then Rachel would have slept with Jesse when she had the chance.
Rating: R
Warning: sour lemon! :-*
A/N This is somewhat of a re-write. There were some things that I was really unhappy with, and things that I was called out on upon the first publication, although it is essentially the same. I loved this story, otherwise. I would like you, as the non-critical readers that I hope you are, to know that while my mum is british, I am Italian, and therefore, my English could be better. I learned how to speak from my mother, and to write from a shitty american teacher, and that is why my spelling is the way that it is. The day before I wrote this, I had heard the song Thunder Road for the first time. I think it is a beautiful song, and sadly, have not listened to anything else by Bruce, though judging on that song, he must be a good songwriter. I was asked to explain why I put it in. The song is a metaphor for Jesse and Rachel. "You can hide beneath your covers and study your pain, make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain. Waste your summer praying in vain for a savior to rise from these streets. Now I'm no hero, that's understood. All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood. With a chance to make it good somehow, hey, what else can we do now?" This here was meant to speak about how they've both had faults. Jesse isn't a hero. He understands that he can't redeem himself, but Rachel can't keep waiting around for a perfect man. If you liked the story before, by all means, don't read this. But if you feel the need to see what else I've written and changed, do that too. Leave reviews! I love them, and I love to know what you think. I promise that I'll respond to every signed review! Oh, when they're having sex at his parent's house, listening to Hello by Lionel Richie really sets the mood in your head.
So, without further ado, I proudly present (again):
Beneficial
Enjoy!
Rachel Berry was not a happy girl. About three minutes prior her boyfriend of two months broke it off with her, saying that she was just too emotionally fucked up. He said that "she was the one for him" not two days ago, when they were really hitting it off in bed.
She stormed down the street with her head down, looking at the sidewalk. Accidentally, she bumped head first into a man.
Jesse St. James was not the one who was generally dumped. He was always the one to break it off with a girl, almost always breaking her heart. It was what he did best, besides sing like a god.
This time however, the girl was the one to break it off with him, telling him that she just didn't like him anymore; that he was just too—emotionally unavailable. Jesse stormed down the street not paying much attention to his surroundings.
Out of nowhere he bumped into a petite woman.
"I'm so sorry—" she began but abruptly stopped when she saw who the person she bumped into was. "Jesse?"
"Rachel!" he said as he hugged her tightly.
"I haven't seen you since Chicago! What have you been doing?" she inquired.
"I'm a talent scout. I've already recruited some pretty successful people. How about you?"
"Really? That's amazing. Well, after I went to NYADA, I just had to keep performing! I was in a few starting musicals as supporting roles. Then, um, then I got my first lead role as Wendla in Spring Awakening."
"I know. I've seen it three times already." Said Jesse, a smile playing on his lips.
"Jesse! It opened three weeks ago!"
"Yeah, I know. And you have a Tony nod for that I understand. That's really great, you deserve it…so I was thinking…do you want to go out for a cup of coffee? The night's still young!"
"I'd love to," said Rachel very glad to be back on her feet after a terrible few minutes.
The next morning the two were eating breakfast at a crappy diner trying to re-connect with their high school ex.
"I am done with stupid relationships! I'm 'emotionally unavailable."
"I am with you! " said Rachel agreeing with Jesse. "Emotionally fucked up." She said and pointed to herself and shrugged.
"Right! Um…do you want to hang out tonight? I mean none of us has anything better to do. Your show ends at like eight thirty-ish, right?"
"Yeah. Why don't you come to that? I can get you a front row seat!"
"I would be honored Rachel!"
They spent every waking hour together, meeting for breakfast, going out to lunch, having a beer after her show, everything. Rachel barely went out to eat with Kurt anymore, saying she was with a guy, and she didn't want to tell him his name unless it actually turned into something. She knew Kurt wouldn't approve of her begin friends with Jesse after everything he did to her, despite the countless times over the last two months that they'd been friends that he'd apologized.
They sat down on her faded gray couch, a beer in hand. It was 11:30 at night, and Rachel was emotionally drained from her performance.
"God, I need to get laid." Rachel said, suddenly aware that she spoke aloud.
"Me too..." Jesse said. At first, he was shocked at her blunt statement, then after realizing that he felt the same way, became a little more comfortable.
"Do you want more beer?" she asked, as if reading his mind.
"Sure," said Jesse as he watched Rachel walk into the kitchen her perfect butt swaying behind her. "I have an idea," he told her as she reentered the room.
"Oh, and what's that?" Rachel asked, pretty sure that he was thinking the exact same thing that she was.
"We should…um…become…you know…sex buddies." He said to her.
"Like friends with benefits?"
"Yeah. No strings attached, just friends doing it."
"OK, but we need some ground rules." She said hesitantly.
"Number one: no emotions, just sex." Said Jesse.
"Number two: no emotional support. Like supportive compliments." Said Rachel. She learned the hard way that men just say things that they know she wanted to hear, even if they didn't mean it.
"Three: if we find somebody else, we need to stop this immediately."
"Four: nobody has to know about this. It's our little secret."
"Five: we must use protection. I don't want this to turn into an unplanned pregnancy." Said Jesse seriously. He held out his had, and shook hers.
"Well said," Rachel replied. "Shall we go to the bedroom?"
"What's wrong with the couch? It's less emotional."
"But the bed is bigger and has better light! And since we are just friends I don't have to be insecure about my body."
"C'mon, you are beautiful, you have nothing to be insecure about—"
"That sounds emotionally supportive. Breaking one of the rules already?" Rachel said in a mocking tone.
"Actually your ass is a little bony."
"Much better," called Rachel as she left the room and headed toward the bedroom.
The two started stripping. Rachel removed her jewelry and pulled her hair out of the ponytail it was previously in. She threw her clothing into the hamper beside her dresser. Jesse followed, but placed his folded up clothing on the chair.
"Not bad." Said Jesse eyeing Rachel's slender and perfect body. Her hair was let down and it fell in dark, silky curls, slightly past her perfectly dainty breasts. Her waist curved in and her hips weren't large, but medium sized. Her stomach was flat and her bellybutton was an inie. At the top of her legs was a trimmed patch of thick, dark, curled hair.
"I can work with it." Answered Rachel while taking in his perfectly muscular torso and toned legs. His six-pack was prominent. His member was large, and at the base was a patch of dark hair, with a trail leading from his bellybutton.
"Shall we get started?" he asked.
"Yup," she said.
Instantaneously he went over to her and started to kiss her. It was vigorous, but both were trying to make it as non-passionate as possible.
They fell onto Rachel's queen size bed with Jesse on top. They inched back so that Rachel's head was on her pillows.
Jesse started toying with her breasts. Pinching, kissing, and teasing, they fit perfectly in the palm of his hand.
"You know we don't have to do this. We could just, like, bake cookies...or...something..." Jesse tried to say, but was distracted by Rachel kissing his neck.
He got his jeans and searched through his pocket for his wallet, got a condom, opened up her legs, and situated himself in between. With out even hesitating he thrust into her. In less then a millisecond, they felt what they both had missed so much, that feeling of utter ecstasy! They established a rhythm and began picking up the pace with every passing second.
"Harder!" Groaned Rachel, she wanted to orgasm so badly. "Harder!"
Every time she would open her mouth he would kiss her. She wanted harder? Well, that's what she'd get.
He started to go faster and faster! Harder and harder! It was coming; they were both on the verge of climaxing.
"Jesse! Oh My God! Jesse! Jesse!" Rachel screamed, digging her long nails into his back.
"Rachel! Oh, Rach!" he yelled, unable to contain himself.
He fell on top of her and rolled to the side. The room stunk of sweat and sex.
"That was…amazing."
The hot water pounded on Jesse's back as he pressed Rachel to the wall of the shower. She was moaning delightedly against his shoulder. Every time she opened her mouth, she pressed her teeth to it, biting down softly, eliciting deep throaty moans.
He kissed up and down her neck, sucking on her pulse point.
The water was dripping off his brown curls and onto Rachel's sopping head.
His hands wandered the wall for traction while hers were clasped behind his head. He thrust into her as hard and as fast as he could manage. When he felt her clench around him, he slowed it down. He wanted her climax to last as long as he could possible make it. She screeched as she came. The sound pushed Jesse over the edge and he too reached his peek.
She smiled as she nestled her face into the crook of his neck. He took in the sweet smell of her wet hair and embraced her tightly before picking her up and carrying her to his bed so they could finish some business.
Months had gone by, everything was going flawlessly. Rachel had won the Tony for best actress in a musical, and the stress of everything going on was totally eluded by their actions almost every night.
They never had to worry about each other's feelings. They were never insecure about themselves or about their bodies. They were honestly living the dream.
"Harder Jesse! Come on!" Rachel yelled as she felt her orgasm arriving.
"OH RACHEL!" exclaimed Jesse as he climaxed.
"Now my eyes are officially blinded," said a third voice.
"Kurt!" exclaimed Rachel loudly. While both she and Jesse scrambled to find a cover up.
After Rachel donned a silk bathrobe and Jesse had put on a pair of boxers Kurt uncovered his eyes and turned back around.
"Bad time?" he joked.
"The worst," answered Rachel, almost inaudibly as she ran her fingers through her long brown locks.
"Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out to dinner because we haven't seen each other in quite a while, but…now I know why. Hi Jesse, long time no see." Kurt smiled.
"Hey Kurt…how have you been?" Jesse said as they moved into the living room.
"Fabulous, my boyfriend Blaine and I just moved into an apartment downtown, things are going great between us. I think he'll pop the question sometime soon!" He smiled at Jesse and then focused his attention back to Rachel. "Rachel! Why didn't you tell me that you two were doing it?"
"We kinda had a no telling policy." Answered Rachel, still totally mortified from the whole encounter. "Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Whiskey?"
"Whiskey sound great!"
"Me too Rach," nodded Jesse. "Whiskey."
Rachel came back a moment later juggling three glasses of whiskey in her hands.
"OK, honestly…you guys smell disgusting…I can't tell who smells more like sweat, you guys, or a triathlon winner." He exaggerated.
"Well," said Rachel. "Seeing as we were in the middle of—"
"Whatever. So! Tell me, what has been going on between you two? Are you together?"
"No," answered Jesse this time. "We had just broken up with our significant others and we bumped into each other on the street. Then I went to see her show and we came back here. We both really missed sex, so we made the decision to become—buddies." He looked at Rachel as he said the final word.
"And how long has this been going on?"
"…5 months…" answered Rachel.
"Well, this was fun." Said Kurt, finally understanding that his presence wasn't really desired. "But I really should get going home. I would love it if you two came over for dinner tomorrow night, Rachel just text me with the answer. Bye guys." Kurt said as he left.
"Hey, why don't we go to my place? I just got a new bed and it needs to be broken in."
"Fine Jesse." She chuckled about how easy it was for him to get back on his feet after their mortifying experience. "Lets get dressed first." She said, patting his shoulder.
"Getting dressed to get undressed, I like it." Said Jesse with his famous smirk as he leaned in a pecked Rachel on the lips.
They arrived at Jesse's house in only a few minutes. Immediately he undressed her and picked her up carrying her to the bedroom. Her legs were wrapped around either side of him and his hands were groping her bottom.
He dropped her down on the bed and started to look for a condom. Once he found one, he hungrily put it on.
It always felt so good when they were with each other, although neither would actually care to admit it. It wasn't just the orgasm that felt good; it was the whole act of being with the other person.
It just felt—right.
When they woke up the next morning, the December sun seemed especially bright. Rachel had not slept well. What she had felt the previous night was terrifying her. What she was doing with Jesse was strictly platonic; she was not supposed to feel anything more for him.
He was lying on her belly looking up at her. Their conversations were light and airy, with nothing of any real substance.
"Hey Jess," Rachel said tentatively.
"What?"
"I think—I think I want to start dating again…its been a while and I'm a successful adult. I think I need something more than just casual sex. I want a relationship, y'know?"
"Really? Me too! I was thinking the same thing. But we can still hang out, get lunch and such right?"
"Of course! See, we managed to do this, and remain perfect friends."
"Yup," said Jesse, giving Rachel a high-five.
The got out of bed and went to go retrieve their clothing.
For the first time, Rachel was happy that it was Monday, her day off. They walked through Central Park drinking coffee and discussing where to find their "new dates." Snow dusted the ground and the chill in the wind caused Rachel and Jesse's noses to turn pink.
They passed Wollman's Rink.
"There." Said Jesse, pointing to a pretty blonde with a book on her lap.
"What?" Rachel asked.
"Her, I'll ask her out. She's reading a book, that's a good sign right?"
"It's probably Nicholas Sparks." Retorted Rachel, with a tone of mockery in her voice.
"Still a book." Jesse said as he cracked his neck and handed Rachel his half finished coffee.
Rachel stood by watching as he strode over to her and turned on the St. James' charm.
Not a minute later, Jesse returned to her and took his drink from her hand.
"So…" inquired Rachel.
"We talked." He answered with a little charm left in his voice. By the look on Rachel's face, he added, "She told me that she was here with her husband, their anniversary vacation. Three kids."
"Oh, ouch!" laughed Rachel.
"Oh yeah? Your turn."
Rachel looked at him with a sweet determination in her eyes. She strode over to a guy who was staring blankly at the rink. She looked back at Jesse and sat down next to the guy. She was smiling and she tilted her head back and laughed at one point. Then, a few minutes later she returned with a smug smile on her face.
"Okay, his name is Daniel. He is a gynecologist at Mt. Sinai hospital, he's seen my show a few times, and we have a date on Saturday."
"Congratulations, you are still my agent." He said enthusiastically as he gave her a high five.
Rachel and Daniel sat in a nice Italian restaurant in Times Square after seeing Rachel perform. They laughed about their lives and funny situations that they were in.
"I'm sorry, I have to tell you something…"
"What is it?" he asked tentatively. "You aren't a guy right? Because that would be like, the second time that's happened to me."
"What? No, I'm not a guy." She chuckled at that comment. "I sort of have a 5 date rule. I have to go on five dates before we can…" she trailed off, too embarrassed to finish her sentence.
"Totally fine with me!"
While making out on Rachel's couch (a place where she and Jesse had not only made out, but mindlessly fucked hundreds of times), something dawned on Rachel.
"You know what today is?" she asked Daniel.
"What?" he asked in return, which made Rachel smile.
"It our fifth date…" she said as she rubbed noses with him.
"Wasn't counting." He smiled as he leaned in for another kiss.
Rachel turned out the light.
Sleeping with Daniel was not how Rachel had hoped. In fact, she felt nothing. Her orgasm wasn't satisfactory, but he seemed to really enjoy himself. That didn't count for nothing, right? Jesse's voice rang out in her head. "What's wrong with the couch? It's less emotional."
At 3:00 the next morning, a strange buzzing noise hit Rachel's ears. Daniel hadn't woken up; she assumed he hadn't heard it. She looked down at his cell phone, expecting to see that somebody went into labor. What she found was much, much worse.
Meg: Hey honey, I was just wondering when you were coming home. The bed seems empty without you. Did that woman have her baby yet? Love you babe, M.
Rage boiled through her blood. Something told her that this wasn't a roommate. Rachel felt sympathetic for this woman, whomever she might be. She jumped off the couch and ran across the room. She didn't want to be near this asshole. She could bear his touch; she couldn't bear knowing that she had slept with a taken man.
"Get out of my house." Rachel yelled across the room. Daniel woke up with a start and looked at her with baffled eyes.
"What are you talking about baby?" He asked her, a little skeptical of what he did.
"Yeah, leave. Oh! And tell Meg," she spat the name out and waited a few seconds for the new information to sink into his thick skull. "That the woman had a baby. And she named it Rachel." She threw his phone at him and he luckily caught it before grabbing his jacket and rushing out the door. "Go fuck yourself next time."
Rachel strode over to her couch and fell down in it, letting her emotions boil inside her. Thick tears streamed down her face and her eyes were scrunched tightly. She picked up her phone and dialed a familiar number.
"Hello?" answered a very masculine voice; not the high pitched one she was expecting. Realizing that she had subconsciously dialed Jesse's number as opposed to Kurt's she continued. She knew that she just needed comfort and she didn't want to wake Kurt from his beauty sleep.
But she just…cried. There was nothing to say. She just cried and cried and cried. She whispered his name a few times before she heard the voice again—his voice again.
"I'll be there in 10 minutes." Said Jesse's soothing sweet voice.
Rachel hung up and let the phone fall from her ear. She stared at the clock and waited for 12 minutes. She counted. Each minute that ticked slowly by was eternity.
Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door. She strode across the room and opened it. She was immediately welcomed into the open arms of Jesse St. James. She let the tears fall freely, soaking through his shirt. She clutched at the fabric for her dear life and his arms just held her tighter, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.
He guided her to the couch and let her lie down on his chest. When her crying subsided, he stroked her hair.
"What happened, Rach? Tell me?"
"He had a girlfriend. Or wife. I don't know. Either way, I pity the fool."
"He was a jerk. A horrible person." Jesse kissed her forehead. "I have an idea!"
Rachel looked at him with watery eyes.
"We can go to Ohio! You're going anyway for Tina and Mike's baby shower right? C'mon, my parents have invited me for Christmas, and I know that your parents clearly haven't invited you for that. You can go see them too. Please? It'll really help my through seeing my family."
"I don't know Jesse…"
"There." Jesse put down his iPhone.
"What?" asked a bewildered Rachel.
"I just bough your ticket with my miles." She looked disapprovingly at him. He just smiled that unforgettable smile. How could she disagree?
"Fine." She breathed. "Fine, I'll go with you. I have a month long hiatus anyway. It starts tomorrow."
"Great! We'll leave to—" there was another knock on the door. Rachel and Jesse exchanged confused glances. Jesse looked at his watch; it read 4:07. Who in their right mind would show up at 4 in the morning? It better not be Daniel, thought Jesse. He could see it in Rachel's eyes that she was thinking the same thing.
She nodded at him and he made his way slowly to the door. When he opened it, it was not who he expected to find.
"Finn Hudson?"
"Jesse St. James?"
"Finn, what the fuck are you doing here?" yelled Rachel at the 6-foot tall man in front of her.
"Whoa Rachel! I thought you'd be happy to see your first true love! Then I found out that Jesse St. Jerk was here!" He yelled as he pointed his long, thick finger at Jesse.
"At least think of a better nickname than St. Jerk, will you? And you know what? You're right, I am really happy to see my first true love! But you missed it, it happened 7 months ago." Retorted Rachel.
Rachel was too busy yelling at Finn to realize that a huge grin spread over Jesse's face. Her first true love. That was him; that was Jesse!
"Now, if you don't mind," she continued, "I would really love to hear why you are here and what your intentions are."
"Rachel, I know why you turned me down in high school. It's because you were too young and you hadn't started your career yet. But look at you now! Rachel, you won an Oscar—"
"Tony." Jesse interjected. His blood was boiling with visible rage.
"Who cares?" said Finn in a mocking tone.
"As a matter of fact," Rachel fumed. "I do. If you truly and honestly loved me, you'd at least know what I do for a living, what I care about, and the awards that I have won. Oh, and you want to know why I turned you down? I can assure you, that it wasn't because I was too young. And somebody really important taught me that it was inevitable that I would make it to Broadway. No, the real reason that I dumped you—was—was because I didn't matter to you. You said it in front of my face. You wanted something special in your life. Like I wasn't enough for you. I wasn't." Rachel's fingers were clenched on her hips so tightly that they had turned white. "You slept with Santana before me. I, as a person wasn't enough to make you wait. You slept with a known slut instead. Then, when I did something a little irrational, you flipped a shit. You yelled at me and kicked me out. And then a few months later, when we did have sex, I didn't enjoy it much."
Finn looked mortified. When he came here, he thought that Rachel would fall instantly into his arms and make sweet love to him as they had done that first time. He never thought of the alternative.
"Now, you're probably thinking that the two of us made love." She mocked. "We didn't. We had sex. I lost my virginity to you, and we did it. I didn't feel the least bit closer to you. Actually…I didn't feel anything, now that I think about it…" she changed her mind. "How did you even get my address anyway? Who gave it to you?"
"Brittany. She told me where you lived. She said that she stayed here a couple of days when she was on some dancing program."
"She did. Listen, Finn, go home." Said Rachel, her voice much calmer, soothing even. "Find a woman who loves you back, a woman who shares your ambitions and dreams. Find a woman who wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Sadly, that's not me. That will never be me."
Finn looked angry. Furious even.
In nearly a split second, Finn's fist collided with Rachel's cheek. The pain was so intense that Rachel's vision blurred and she fell back onto the coffee table.
She could barely see, but the sounds were amplified by the millions. She could her the pounding of fists hitting flesh.
She could see the form of the two men on the floor, but she couldn't find the voice to stop it. It took all her might, but she was able to breathe the word "stop" out.
The man on top quickly retreated and stood across the room, as far away from the other as possible. The other man got up from the floor. Due to his height, Rachel could tell he was Finn. She shut her eyes tightly willing the blurriness do disappear.
"Have a nice life." He spat out before he left the house entirely.
Rachel sat on the table for a few seconds before she opened her eyes. The second that she did, Jesse was by her side stroking her bruised cheek.
"You're bleeding…" Rachel indicated the slight blood trickling from his nose and from his bottom lip, and there was a small dark purple bruise on the corner of his eye. Rachel got up and went to get a pack of ice from her freezer. She grabbed a box of tissues and went to join him on the couch once more.
"Really Rachel? Star shaped ice cubes? Some things never change." He smiled as he placed the bag over his eye. "I wish this damn bruise was on my whole eye, and not so awkwardly placed…"
"Thank you. Really, while I don't endorse violence, I really appreciate what you did for me." She cried.
"It was nothing, Rach. It was nothing. Besides, you didn't need me. You were doing pretty well on your own." He chuckled.
"But I did. You never know where he might have gone…you could have saved me from something a little more dangerous than a fucking fist fight!"
"What do you mean?" he said as he was stroking her hair.
"I didn't want to say it in front of your face, nor did I want to anger him anymore…"
"What?" his voice was rising.
"Senior year, Finn found out some…troubling news about his father's death. He found out that his father died of drug overdose. He invited me over that night to calm him down. He…he was drunk. He was angry, terrifyingly so. He asked me to have sex with him, but I said no. I thought we should just talk about it. But then, he told me that he wanted to have sex. I told him no. There was no way in hell that I was going to sleep with him! He pushed me onto the bed and literally ripped my clothing off. It was the single most painful experience of my life." Rachel looked into the watery eyes of Jesse. "Say something. Anything." She pleaded.
"Did you tell anyone?"
"No. He still doesn't know. I told you, he was drunk. He didn't remember it the next day and I didn't think to remind him. But then he proposed! I said yes, but called it off. I couldn't say the reason that I called off the wedding because he raped me." She hushed the word 'raped' as if they were in a room filled of people. "You're the only one who knows. When I see him some of that physical pain returns." She clenched her legs shut as if to signify that the area in between them was in pain.
Jesse said nothing else. He pulled Rachel into the biggest hug ever. She just cried in his arms for what felt like the 100th time that night. They sat there for almost 20 minutes, letting their hearts beat as one. Soon enough, Jesse discovered that Rachel had finally fallen into a deep and peaceful sleep. He picked her up bridal style and carried her into her bedroom. He laid her down under the covers and went around the other side to join her. He held her close, feeling her steady breathing against his chest. Even though she was asleep, for the first time ever, Jesse St. James cried in Rachel's presence.
"C'mon Rachel! We'll miss the plane if you don't hurry up!" called Jesse from her living room.
It was the next day, and through the hustle and bustle of Rachel packing and Jesse getting his stuff to her place by 12:45, they were not able to talk about the information that Jesse had acquired about Finn. Even if they did have all the time in the world, Jesse contemplated whether or not he should ever bring it up.
When she came out, he couldn't find the words to describe her. She was wearing a simple but lovely, short sleeved, full skirted, red dress that reached her knees and a pair of black, patent leather ballet flats. Her silky, long hair was tied back into a loose pony, while her already dark and thick eyelashes donned a touch of mascara. She had concealed the bruise on her cheek marvelously with cover-up. She was the most beautiful specimen he had ever encountered.
Jesse handed her the white pea coat that was in his hand. She put it on and together they wheeled their suitcases down the hall and to the elevator.
When they reached her car, they packed everything tightly into the trunk and in less than a minute they were headed to LaGuardia Airport. Jesse had insisted on driving, not wanting a clearly tired and worn out Rachel face the road to the airport on Christmas Eve. The ride was unnaturally silent, but neither seemed to mind.
"I had my sister drop off my car old at the airport yesterday. She wanted to drive me home, but she had to help my mother with dinner. She said that she refuses to make vegan food, so my sister is making some extra dishes so that you can eat."
"I'll have to thank her then…" said Rachel as they pulled into the airport parking lot.
They got their bags and headed into the airport.
"Why don't I go check our bags and you go and find us a Starbucks. Lord knows that we both need a lot of coffee." Said Jesse.
Ten minutes later, Jesse found Rachel sitting at a table with two cups of coffee in front of her.
"Venti regular coffee with a shot of espresso, no milk, and no sugar." Rachel pushed the cup to him.
"Ah! Nectar!" he said as he took a sip. "What did you get?"
"Same, but with soy milk." Jesse smiled at her.
"Okay, we have an hour until boarding, I say that we go through security now, and we can maybe get some lunch. I'm paying this time."
"Fine by me." Rachel chuckled.
An hour and 15 minutes later, they were settled on the plane with Rachel by the window and Jesse seated on the isle.
"I don't understand why you want the window so much," he said. "Its claustrophobic and you hate leaving the city. Why would you want see yourself go?"
"When the drink cart goes by it hits me in the elbows."
"You know? I think you just want it so you can say that."
"I think you just might be right about that!" She laughed.
The plane ride was boring and fairly un-eventful. About an hour and a half later, they touched gently on the ground.
Rachel breathed a sigh of relief and looked approvingly at Jesse.
"You ready to do this?" she asked him. She understood that he hated visiting his parents. Supposedly, they were cold people. She always wondered how people like them had produced such a wonderful boy.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
They exited the terminal and found Jesse's car in the lot. She remembered the Range Rover well, as she had driven to school in it many times. She remembered how the faint smell of Jesse's cologne lingered in the car.
When she sat down however, she was fairly disappointed.
"I haven't driven in it for years." He replied as if her were reading her mind. "That's why it doesn't smell."
He thrust the key into the slot and the car jumped to life. As they were making their exit, thick white flurries descended from the sky.
"Looks like it will be a white Christmas." Said Rachel as she glared mesmerizingly at the gray sky.
When they reached Jesse's house, a woman with light brown, curly hair ran outside to greet them. Due to her excitement, Rachel could tell that this was his sister. She practically jumped into Jesse's wide arms as a tear subtly leaked from his eyes.
"Oh! I'm so rude!" Said the woman as she wiped a tear away herself. "Hello! I'm Jackie, Jesse's big sister."
"It's extremely nice to meet you, I'm Rachel Berry." Said Rachel as she was whisked into Jackie's arms.
"You're the first girl that Jesse's ever brought home," She said with a smile.
"Oh, we're not dating—" Rachel began.
"Of course you aren't! Otherwise Jesse wouldn't have brought you home." She winked at Rachel. "Jess…what's that on your eye?" She asked, seeing the purple bruise for the first time.
"I—I fell…Jackie! You shouldn't be outside; it's snowing. You could catch something. Lets get you inside."
Rachel noticed that Jackie was wearing a brown wrap-sweater that reached her elbows, and a thin long-sleeve white shirt under it. She was wearing jeans and cute wedge boots. Rachel always admired Jesse's sense of style and was pleased to see his sister just as stylish as he was.
Jesse rubbed Rachel's back and gently pushed her in behind Jackie. When they entered the home, Rachel's chocolate eyes widened immensely as she marveled at the size of the mansion.
Everything was white. The suede couches were clean and bright and the chandeliers above them sparkled like diamonds. The white carpets looked fluffy and soft while the marble Grecian-style sculptures stood on clean glass tables. The one thing that wasn't white was the big black grand piano that sat in the corner of the room. There was a winding staircase that lead up to what looked like where the bedrooms were. Rachel couldn't imagine growing up in a place that looked much more like a museum with its Victorian paintings and Greek sculptures.
An attractive man wearing black jeans and a white button down shirt that was opened slightly to reveal light brown chest hair walked down the stairs and engulfed Jesse in a bro-hug. He looked a lot like both Jesse and Jackie. His hair was the same shade, but much less curly. He shared the same nose as both of them, but his build was much stronger. Jesse had mentioned earlier that while his sister was an opera singer, his brother was a ballet dancer. Rachel's mind immediately made the connection to Patrick Swayze.
"Hello." He said in a deep voice. "I'm Jon. The eldest St. James." He shook Rachel's hand.
"Rachel Berry." She replied with a smile.
"I know! Jesse's talked enough about you for me to tell the second that I saw you. But I've seen your show too. You were fabulous. I meant to go and say something to you, but it was too crowded. All of your fans trying to get your autograph; you probably didn't want to say hello to the brother of your ex-boyfriend."
She smiled widely at this.
"So," said Jesse. "When did you guys get in?"
"I got in a few days ago." Said Jackie. "I wanted to beat the rush. I live in Texas with my boyfriend." She added looking at Rachel.
"Where is he?" inquired Jon.
"His parents invited us, but I said that I already told Mom and Dad that I was coming here. He got scared and decided not to come. I don't blame him." She said rolling her eyes.
"I got in a few minutes ago," said Jon. "I just put Ella down and Annabelle is in the kitchen with Mom."
"How's Annabelle doing?" Jesse asked.
"My wife, Annabelle, was going through serious post-partum depression a few months ago." He said as he seriously looked at Rachel. "She's better now, but she doesn't really like to talk about it. I'm sure Mom isn't shutting up about it though."
Jesse nodded. His face had turned solemn.
"I guess we'd better say hello." He said reluctantly. Rachel grabbed his hand and gently rubbed her thumb across it. He looked into her eyes and nodded. He pulled her into the direction of the kitchen. Jon and Jackie smiled at each other, completely unknown by the two.
Everything was clean. The dark brown cabinets provided a beautiful contrast to the white marble countertops. The floor was covered in glossy white tiles and the kitchenware was stainless steal. There was a giant glass window that stretched from the floor to the ceiling across one wall. There was the view of a great stone fountain and a tall, stone fence. The ground was coated with a thick, white blanket of snow.
Sitting at the table was a woman almost as small as Rachel was, she looked tired and her thin blonde hair looked disheveled and stringy. She didn't notice either of them enter.
In the back, was a woman bent over the stove. Her hands were manicured to perfection and her hair was blown out.
"Hello, Mom." Said Jesse announcing his arrival. One hand was clasped tightly around Rachel's while the other was in his pocket.
When she turned around, Rachel blushed. She was the most beautiful woman Rachel had ever seen. Her eyes were a shocking green and her lips a light pink. Her straightened hair was a sandy blonde and reached her shoulders. She looked a hell of a lot younger than her children's ages would allow her to be. She smiled and her pearly white teeth shone brightly.
"Jesse, dear." She said. While her voice was immensely warm, her tone was icy cold.
Annabelle looked up for the first time with watery blue eyes. She looked pale and thin. Despite that, she was clearly and remarkably beautiful. Her nose was small and her lips were full. Her eyes were a lovely almond shape, despite the purple bags under them. She smiled and made a motion to get up and hug Jesse, but he beat her to it and she remained sitting.
Rachel began feeling insecure. She felt as if everybody in this damn house was unnaturally beautiful. She didn't want to mention this to Jesse, but she never felt beautiful. She was scared that her insecurity would drive him away.
Jesse's mother stayed across the room and he made no effort to go to her.
"Hello dear." She said to Rachel. "I'm Lucille."
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Rachel." She replied nervously. She looked over at Jesse and she could tell that his jaw was clenched tightly. "Thanks for letting me into your home, its very beautiful."
Lucille completely disregarded her compliment.
"Now, I hope you don't mind dear. I did a little research on you. I wasn't about to let a complete stranger into my home. I came across something rather odd."
Rachel looked terrified.
"I found out that you are playing in Spring Awakening on Broadway. Is this true?"
"Yes ma'am. It is." Her voice quivered, but being the Broadway actress that she was, she hid it quite well. She was sure that nobody detected it until she felt Jesse quiver as well.
"Well, you see I don't approve of people flaunting their bodies about. Especially when you don't have much to flaunt. What are you? Are you an A and a size 2? Besides, you're nothing particularly beautiful or even special." She spat as she eyed Rachel from top to bottom, touching on some of Rachel's more prominent insecurities in a mere two sentences.
Rachel was horrified and embarrassed. Yes, her breasts were small. How was she supposed to respond? Tell her that her bra size was actually a B? She looked around at Jesse and Annabelle. Jesse had moved his hand from hers and placed it tightly around her waist. Annabelle's eyes were wide and her mouth was agape.
"I happen to think that she's really beautiful." Said Annabelle. Her voice was small, yet it was light and warm. Rachel's eyes filled appreciatively with tears.
"I agree Annabelle. Thank you." Said Jesse, his voice was forceful and quite angry. Rachel couldn't find the words to thank either of them. She couldn't even find the voice to reply to his mother.
"Never mind." She said. "Where are those incompetent people? Jacqueline! Jonathan!" she called "Where are you?"
They entered the room with their heads held high.
"Go drive to the studio and get your father. Tell him that dinner should be ready soon and I want him home."
"I'll take Rachel to her room."
They exited the house to retrieve their bags. Jesse was unnaturally silent.
"Don't." He said as Rachel started wheeling her bag inside.
He pushed down the handle on both of their suitcases and picked them up with ease. She silently understood that their dark walnut hardwood floors could be destroyed if she did something as stupid and as childish as dragging her suitcase across them.
He transported them upstairs and dropped his in front of one door. He then carried hers the length of the hallway and deposited them both in front of another door that Rachel assumed was the guest room.
He left her there and went back to his room.
She opened the door and looked inside. It was beautiful, shockingly so. There was a queen-sized bed that was smothered in pillows and puffy comforters. The balcony had a respectable few inches of snow and it overlooked the same view from the kitchen. On the bedside tables there were bowls of potpourri and glass beads.
On the walls were scattered paintings of women with plump, rosy, porcelain cheeks. Everything looked untouchable. There was a heater in the corner of the room that was emitting warm air. She took off the coat she was wearing and rested it on the bed. Rachel sat on the bench at the foot of the bed and let a few stray tears fall. She felt terrible for Jesse, Jon, and Jackie. If their father was anything like their mother then they must have had a terrible childhood. Jon and Jackie seemed like such genuinely nice people. Jesse was the most amazing person she'd ever met.
Yes. He had cracked an egg over her head. She wasn't even sure if she had quite forgiven him for that yet, but he had truly proven himself to be a phenomenal person on every other respect. He had held her close when she spoke about what happened with Finn. He had come running to her side when Daniel broke her heart. And aside from that, he made her feel so loved in bed. He may not love her like he did in high school…but he sure made her feel loved. He made her feel beautiful.
Suddenly, a high-pitched cry awoke her from her thoughts.
She hopped off the bench and walked next door where the crying was coming from. She walked in and saw the most beautiful thing ever.
Laying in a car seat was a tiny baby dressed in plush, pink footy pajamas. She was barely a foot and a half tall and light hair dusted the top of her head.
Peering over her shoulder to see if somebody was coming, she picked up the precious baby in her arms. To her greatest surprise, the baby quieted up almost instantly. All she could to was bounce her up and down and smile.
The sound of light footsteps echoed down to hall and Rachel turned around to see Annabelle leaning into the doorframe with her arms crossed and a light smile playing on her lips.
"You'll be a great mother one day." She said.
"What?"
"The way she quieted down the second that you picked her up."
Rachel blushed. "I want to be a mother. I just don't know if I've found the right guy quite yet." She said as she sat on the chair in the corner as Annabelle seated herself on the king size bed.
"You know? I think that you may have already found him, but you don't know it yet. Like, you won't know until he makes himself known."
"Well how did you know that Jon was the right man for you?"
"We met…wow…twenty years ago, already. He helped me through a tough spot with my ex-boyfriend back in our senior year of high school. We were best friends until we realized that there was something more."
"Something like that has happened to me…quite recently in fact." Said Rachel as she let Annabelle's words sink in. Was Jesse more than a friend? She certainly wouldn't object if her pronounced his undying love for her. "I just don't know what to make of it."
"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry if I troubled you. I didn't mean to." She walked over to Rachel and picked up Ella. "She's hungry, you can hold her again in a few minutes."
Rachel felt slightly uncomfortable as she extracted her breast and placed it in the infant's mouth, where she began to suckle it with a hearty appetite. Rachel looked down quickly and only when she heard the light thump of Annabelle leaning back against the headboard did she look up again.
"So," began Annabelle. "How long have you known Jesse?"
"Since my sophomore year of high school. He was a senior. That's about…seven? Eight years? We lost touch for a good six of those years. We just re-kindled whatever friendship that we had, I guess." Rachel blushed once more, thinking about the various 'X' rated things that she and Jesse had been doing to, as she most delicately put it, pleasure the other.
Understanding that Rachel didn't want to continue the conversation regarding Jesse, Annabelle suddenly became quite interested in the baby in her lap.
They sat in an awkward silence for no more than three minutes before there was a small knock on the door.
Jesse poked his head through the doorframe and announced that dinner would be served in 10 minutes. He was dressed in dark dress pants and a white button down shirt. Something stirred in Rachel's lower belly. She'd seen him completely nude…she'd seen everything. She'd seen every single beauty mark down to every single pubic hair. Why was she uncomfortable now? Was it the fact that he smelled strongly of the sweet cologne that she always loved? Was it the way he was dressed so…elegantly?
He smiled once more at Rachel and left the two alone once more.
"Shit, I have to change." Said Annabelle in a frantic hurry. She handed the baby to Rachel and went to pull out a black tweed dress. "The St. James' are very old fashioned. They all change for dinner and they all eat together. After Jon and I got married, he vowed that he would have dinner in his sweatpants as much as possible." She signified for Rachel to turn around and put on her dress.
"Can you zip me?" she asked and Rachel walked back across the room, placed the baby in her mother's hands and zipped up the thick fabric.
"Should I change? They didn't see what I was wearing because I was wearing my coat."
"No, you're definitely fancy enough. Just make sure that you are practically black tie on Christmas."
Annabelle had put on a pair of black pumps and was rushing to pin back her hair.
"You look beautiful." She said as Annabelle rushed to put Ella down.
"Thanks—I meant what I said before. I think you look beautiful. She's a horrid bitch, and everybody knows that down from her children to her parents. The only one I think can even tolerate her is her husband, and he's not much of a walk in the park either."
Rachel smiled slightly and looked over at Ella. She squirmed for a few seconds, yawned, and fell into a peaceful sleep. Annabelle put a finger to her lips as she turned out the light and they quietly tiptoed out of the room.
When they entered the foyer, the three St. James children were congregated and talking to each other in fairly hushed voices. Jesse looked up and smiled at the brunette beauty that was heading toward him. He nodded to her and she went into his warm arms.
"We'll talk later." He whispered into her ear.
She turned around, and standing in the entrance to the extravagant dining room was Lucille St. James.
She was dressed as beautifully as ever, with her forest green, woolen dress that made her eyes sparkle. It reached her knees and dipped in a scoop neck well past her collarbone. She donned a diamond necklace and a bright shade of red lipstick that matched her nails perfectly.
"Dinner is served." She said as she smiled almost mischievously.
They all situated around the table; Jon and Annabelle were seated next to each other, to Rachel's right was Annabelle and to her left was Jesse. In between Jesse and Lucille was an open seat at the head of the table while Jackie was on the other side of her mother.
They all remained standing until a tall man descended the stairs and made his way to the dining room. He was…attractive. Rachel stared him up and down. What caught her were his crystal clear blue eyes and his nose, which was the same as his children's.
Everybody sat down and a woman emerged from the kitchen with a salad. She placed it on the table and everybody began to pass it around.
"I asked for you to add chicken, did I not Jacqueline?" Lucille reprimanded.
"I thought that since Rachel was a vegan, that I would put it on the side and if people wanted it, they could put it in…" Jackie's voice was strong, but faltered slightly at the end. "I have a bowl of it in the kitchen if you still want it."
"Yes."
No 'yes please.' Nothing even remotely polite came out of her mouth.
"I'll get it." Jackie began to get up from the table but was stopped by her father.
"No. Let Daisy do it. It is her job after all." His deep rumbling voice broke out.
"How was your day Richard?" Asked Lucille after the kitchen maid had brought in the chicken that she desperately wanted.
"It was horrible, those damn bastards cut the piece." He looked around the table and his eyes rested on Rachel. "Who are you?"
"Rachel Berry, sir." She answered nervously.
"Are you that Jew that Jesse dated back in high school?"
"Yes, sir."
"Where are your horns?" he spat at her.
"Horns?" she asked.
"Yes, aren't Jews supposed to have horns?" he answered mocking her like she was some stupid baby.
"Anti-Semitic myth." Piped up Jesse, his anger clearly evident in his voice. "Jews don't have horns."
They quieted down for only a few minutes before the main course was brought out. Salmon with lemon juice was being served to each person, Rachel helped herself to more and more salad, seeing as she refused to eat it.
"Actually Rachel, I made you some mushroom pasta. Its 100% vegan, I promise."
"Thanks Jackie. That would be perfect."
The smell was phenomenal. Mushrooms had always been one of Rachel's favorite foods. She was completely and utterly grateful for all the work that Jackie was putting in to make Rachel feel comfortable.
"I do say," began Richard St. James. "When one enters another's home, is it not far more polite to eat the food that they have provided for them?"
"But Dad," said Jon. "She's a vegan. It goes against her moral code to eat animals."
"But this is my home. I am being gracious enough to let her stay here for the next week, it is only polite that she eat the food that I have bought and prepared for her."
"Well, I bought the food. And I prepared it for her." Said Jackie. "It's only polite that she eat it."
The conversation was dropped almost immediately. Jesse placed his hand on Rachel's back and rubbed it in circles, he desperately hoped that he was somewhat comforting her.
When they had finished eating, the desert was brought out. Each person was given a chocolate lava cake. Even Rachel. She looked up at Jackie who smiled back at her.
"It's all vegan." She mouthed. "I made it. Dark chocolate." She put a finger to her lips. "Don't tell on me."
Rachel smiled and mouthed "thank you" back to her.
"My wife has told me that you are performing nude onstage. Is this true?" he began, Rachel knew where this was going… "Well, I believe that a young woman should not be allowed to do so. You clearly are a very small woman. Why do you think you have the right to expose your tiny body to people?"
"Well," Rachel had begun to think of a response the second that Lucille St. James had penalized her. "I think that my size adds a more realistic element to the portrayal of my character. She's a young 15-year-old woman who is only beginning her exploration of her sexuality and I believe that she should not be a tall woman with a huge chest, who doesn't look even remotely like a teenager."
Jesse smiled down at his plate as he patted Rachel on the back for standing up for herself.
Richard looked angrily at his wife and then back at Rachel.
"Dinner is over."
All three of the children plus Rachel and Annabelle rushed upstairs without saying another word.
As Rachel headed toward the back of the long hallway Jesse grabbed her arm and pulled her into his bedroom. His bedroom was not much like Rachel had assumed it would be. The bed was big, but not huge. It was covered in a gray comforter and black pillows. Rachel had half expected there to be posters of musicals covering the walls, when there was only a Les Misérables one hanging above his headboard. There was only one shelf dedicated to numerous music books, while the other looked like it was filled with the classics such as Gone With the Wind, Oliver Twist, A Tale of Two Cities, and many more.
"I am so sorry for bringing you here. I didn't realize that there would be that kind of hatred. If you want to leave, I completely understand."
"No, Jesse its—"
Suddenly, the lights flickered and went out. Rachel was only aware of the tight grip of Jesse's hand around her wrist. The pitch-black darkness filled every corner as the room steadily became colder.
"The power must have gone out." Said Jesse. "It's been snowing for hours."
He didn't let go of her hand.
"Here," he said. "I have a flashlight somewhere. I can go and find some candles and we can finish talking. Just stay here."
He returned in a matter of a few minutes with a bag of candles, 2 battery powered lanterns, and a box of matches.
He lit about 12 candles, filling the room with a dim glow and the strong scent of vanilla and cinnamon. Then he turned on the lanterns, which flooded the room with an even brighter light.
Rachel subconsciously shivered and Jesse was soon by her side with the blanket from his bed.
"Look what I brought!" he said as he pulled a bottle of wine from the bag that was previously holding the candles.
Rachel laughed and pulled out a corkscrew too.
He passed her a plastic cup and poured the bloody red liquid into hers and into his.
"Cheers." He said before taking a huge gulp. Rachel smiled and did the same.
"Where are your siblings?" she asked.
"Annabelle, Jon, and Jackie are all huddled around a fire downstairs. I couldn't give less of a shit where Mom and Dad are."
Rachel nodded and took another sip of wine, finishing the cup. Jesse immediately added more.
"On that note Rach, I'm so sorry about how they are treating you. They've never been this cold to any of their houseguests. I don't know if it's because you are Jewish, nor do I know if it's because you are playing a really controversial role."
"Listen." She placed her cold hands on his. "It doesn't matter, as long as I know that you're always going to be here to support me." She said as she leaned up against the side of Jesse's bed.
"I am. Always." He looked deeply into her eyes and she leaned her face closer to his before she changed her mind and stood up.
"Give me your phone."
He handed it to her before she went over to the windowsill and plugged it in to his portable speakers. She pressed shuffle and Adele's Rolling in the Deep turned on.
She began dancing awkwardly. Jesse stood up to join her, grabbed one hand in his and placed his other on her waist, while she placed hers on his shoulder. The two swayed back and forth, and he swirled her around. There was something utterly and undeniably romantic about slow dancing in the candlelight. They were cold, but the touch of the other seemed to warm them up immensely.
Baby it's Cold Outside came on; Jesse and Rachel began singing along.
When the song came to a close, Jesse leaned down and captured Rachel's lips in his own. They stood that way for a minute as fireworks boomed inside them. The familiar sound of "Hello" by Lionel Richie echoed behind them, while their tongues danced with each other.
Their song.
Jesse's hands, ever so slowly, pulled down the zipper of Rachel's dress. She shrugged it off quietly and let it fall to the floor. Her hands unbuttoned his shirt, fingertips brushing over the exposed skin, as each button was undone. She kissed the middle of his chest, feeling the light pulsing of his nearby heart.
Jesse unclasped her bra and pulled it off. She pushed the white shirt off his shoulders and clasped her hands tightly on the soft, burning skin. She unbuttoned his pants and he stepped out of them. Slowly, they inched their way down to the carpeted floor.
He lay on top of her, and kissed down her torso. Once he reached her navel, he pulled himself back to her lips. She sat up and pulled him to his knees. He pulled her ponytail out and let her hair fall onto her back. She kissed his shoulder and pushed him onto his back, where he just stared into her eyes with a deep passion. She kissed the line of hair leading from his navel and hooked her fingers into his boxers. She slid them down his legs and returned to his lips. He once again rolled on top of her; he kissed her neck and her collarbone. After placing a kiss on each pert breast, he pulled her underwear off her bent legs.
He kissed her womanhood and back up her torso. He placed a kiss on each eyelid, causing her chocolaty eyes, already dark with passion, to flutter shut.
He captured her lips on his, and he bit down slightly on her bottom lip, eliciting a soft whimper. Slowly, he guided himself to her, causing her to gasp as he thrust in and out of her repeatedly. His arms were stretched to their full extent on either side of Rachel's head and her hands were wandering his torso. They moved rhythmically against each other. Hushed whimpers and light moans were the only sounds that were uttered. Rachel kissed Jesse's neck, sucking on his pulse point, causing him to groan, ever so quietly. They were thrusting against each other slowly. Feeling the other in every possible way. They finished, and he collapsed against her, leaning on his elbows, willing not to crush her tiny body. He pulled out of her, and pulled her sweaty and spent body closer to his own, kissing her temple.
They lay on their sides, facing each other. Jesse brushed a damp hair away from Rachel's eyes and she nestled her face into the crook of his neck. Together they fell into a peaceful sleep, the sweet hum of music playing softly in the background.
Jesse awoke to the sound of Ella crying. He looked around him, the lanterns were still lit, but the candles had long since burned out. The music was still playing quietly and peacefully. Outside was dark, and from his window, he could see the moon and the stars shining brightly.
On his chest, lay Rachel Berry. Her fluttering breath was light against his bare skin. He smiled and closed his eyes once more, resting his head on the carpeted floor. Hearing the baby cry again, he decided that he would walk around.
Retrieving a clean pair of boxers, he sleepily put them on and carried Rachel to his bed, where he tucked her in and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you," he whispered. Grabbing his bathrobe, he turned out the lanterns and closed the door. He brought one with him to help him see his way downstairs. When he reached the kitchen, however, he realized he didn't need it; it was illuminated brightly by candles.
Sitting at the table, rocking Ella back and forth was Jon. She had fallen asleep the second that Jesse entered the room. He smiled at his brother's parenting and moved closer to sit across the table.
As he did so, Jon placed her in the car seat.
"You look happy." He said to Jesse. "Did something happen?"
"I'm just happy." He said as he went up to make himself a cup of tea, before sitting down again. "I promise."
"Well, nobody can be 'just happy' in this fucking hell hole. And…I also know what that smile indicates."
"Really? What does it indicate?" A tone of humor and mockery played on his lips.
"You had sex with Rachel." Jesse's smile faded.
"How did you know?"
"You just told me."
"I've never—"Jesse began, suddenly unable to finish his thought.
"What?"
He swallowed. "Made love."
He was quiet for a moment, letting his brother ponder his statement.
"Even with Rachel, especially with Rachel. We've been doing it for months, like since June. We've never done it out of love, only out of lust and want. And that's what scares me! Maybe she didn't feel as much from it as I did. Maybe she doesn't love me as much as I love her."
Jon remained quiet.
"I've fucked it up with her before. I cracked a goddamn egg on her head and barely even said sorry. I've tried my very hardest to make it up to her. My hardest. She was fucked over by some douche-bag. And I was at her house at 4 in the morning to soothe her and then to punch her ex-boyfriend who r—who did some terrible things to her. I don't know if she forgives me for it. I sure don't. I was—am a terrible person."
"Jesse, you are one of the greatest people in the world, with the greatest and biggest heart. If she doesn't love you, then she's missing out on something really special. But then again, if she does love you snatch her up before anyone else does, because she's utterly wonderful. She's beautiful, and sweet, and kind. Dude, love isn't a walk in the park, you fight and you bicker, over the stupidest things. I'd know. I loved Annabelle the second that I saw her freshman year of high school and she didn't notice me until her boyfriend dumped her, senior year, and I was there to wipe up her tears. Now, I love her more and more, each and every day, but we fight. I believe that our first fight was when I told her that her boyfriend was a dick and she told me that she loved him. Then we fought over baby names, and over the crib! Stupid little shit like that. I tell you now, buy her a ring and claim her as your own. That girl," he pointed to the stairs, "is a gift. And please, don't unwrap it until you're fucking ready to appreciate it."
Jesse let tears fall from his eyes. Truly, she was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
"I love her more than anything…" he whispered. "Anything at all."
"How did it happen? Who initiated it?"
"I did…I think…I kissed her first. Okay, so it was just after dinner I pulled her into my room to apologize for how Mom and Dad behaved. That's when the blackout hit…I brought candles and lanterns—and a bottle of wine. We drank and then she almost kissed me. Then she got up and turned on some music. We started dancing and singing along. Then I kissed her. It was the most magical thing I have ever experienced. Hello came on and that's our song. We just did it…"
"Yeah, there is no other way to describe it. You are head over heals in love with Rachel Berry."
"Thank you captain obvious." Snorted Jesse.
By this point, most of the candles had burned out and a little bit of sunlight was flooding the kitchen. They sat immersed in their thoughts for a long period of time.
"Should I tell her?" Said Jesse, breaking the extended silence.
"What?" asked Jon.
"Should I tell Rachel that I love her?"
"You're kidding me right? Did my speech mean nothing to you? YES! Yes, you should tell her! If she doesn't love you back, she's being stupid."
"Okay, here I go. Wish me luck?"
"Like you need it! Knock 'em dead kiddo."
With the little light that the sun provided, Jesse made his way back to his bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time. He took off his robe and joined Rachel back in his bed, still in the same position that he left her in.
"…Rach?" he started. "Rachel, honey, wake up."
She stirred, and looked into his eyes. Smiling, she slowly sat up, letting the blanket fall from her tiny frame, exposing her breasts.
"What time is it?" she yawned. "It's barely light out."
"Listen Rach, I have to tell you something, and it couldn't wait for later…"
Her big brown eyes sparkled in the dim light of the room.
"I love you." He breathed.
She looked at him bewildered, her eyes filling ever so slightly with tears.
"I think I always have," he continued. "But last night…was different. It made me think about everything that I've done to you in the past seven years. I couldn't let you go. Ever since I met you…you were the one thing that was special. And I ruined that. I'm sorry…I don't expect you to forgive me. But I want you to help me move past it. I love you so much."
Tears were leaking out of Rachel's chocolaty brown eyes. She didn't say anything; she just buried her face into his bare chest. He pulled her close, locking his arms tightly around her warm frame.
"I'm never letting you go." He whispered in her ear, and she embraced him tighter.
"I love you, too."
He went under the covers with her, and curved his body to get ready to spoon her, but she had other plans. She curled her body to face him, and moved closer so that their legs were tangled together. He could feel her womanhood against his stomach, and pulled her closer to his own body. She could feel his breath against her neck and smiled when she realized that he had fallen asleep. Letting herself drift off, she realized that this was the first time that she was happy, utterly and completely happy.
A knock on the door woke both of them from their dreams.
"Jesse, Rachel. C'mon out, it's noon."
"We slept until noon…" Jesse laughed to Rachel.
"Well, we were slightly busy doing something else, late last night." Rachel joked as she pecked him on the lips.
"I love you." He said again.
"I love you too. More than you could possibly imagine."
"I highly doubt that."
"Maybe I'll just have to show you later…" she teased before she jumped out of bed and grabbed a tee shirt out of Jesse's drawer, and a pair of his boxers. She put them on and turned on the light. "Power's back." She announced before she left the room and padded down the hall. Jesse put on his bathrobe again, but not his boxers. He had a better idea.
He waited until he heard Rachel's shower go on before he tiptoed into her room. The door to the bathroom was opened slightly and steam was pouring out. He heard her hum the tune of Try to Remember the Kind of September from "The Fantastiks."
Jesse laid his robe on the porcelain toilet before pulling back the shower curtain and stepping in behind her, kissing her neck.
"Is it later?" he asked.
"I was hoping you'd catch on." She said before planting a huge kiss on his lips. He deepened the kiss, by thrusting his tongue into her mouth. He cupped her breasts in his trembling hands and she whimpered against his warm lips.
He pressed her against the wall, and biting on her lip, he pushed inside her. She cried out and shook from head to toe. The water was splashing against their feet, steam rising around them.
Spent, Rachel's head fell against his shoulder. She smiled against him, while he hugged her and chuckled.
"I love you," he said for the third time that day.
"I love you too."
When they came downstairs, everybody was silent. It was almost 1 in the afternoon, and they had not presented themselves all day.
Jackie was beaming as she saw the two descend the stairs, their hands clasped tightly together.
Jon gave Jesse thumbs up, while Annabelle gave a knowing smile.
Did Jon tell everyone? Thought Jesse. It doesn't matter.
"Merry Christmas, everyone." Said Jesse. They all answered in a chorus of 'Merry Christmas.'
"Where are Mom and Dad?" he asked. Noticing the good mood that they were all in.
"Mom is getting her hair and nails done, again. And Dad is upstairs, composing a make-up piece for the one that was cut." Said Jackie.
"We were waiting for you before we gave out presents." Annabelle said.
Jon strode across the room and picked up a few things from the bottom of the tree.
"For my dearest wife, a Pandora bracelet." With difficulty, due to the tiny baby in the Snugli, she went over and gave him a kiss. They look so happy. Thought Rachel as she smiled at Jesse.
"Now, for Jackie, it was a little harder, but I opted on this." He pulled out another black velvety box from the bag and handed it to her. It was a g-clef necklace made out of rose-gold.
"From the two of us!" announced Annabelle.
"Its beautiful. Thank you." She smiled as she put it on.
"Jesse, I found this," he pulled out a book, "It's from all of us."
The book's title read, "You're The Top! Leading Males of Broadway," with a picture of Les Misérables' Colm Wilkinson on the cover.
Jesse's face light up immensely. "Thank you guys so much!" He answered enthusiastically. The book was gigantic and the cover was glossy.
"But we're not finished yet, we had gotten you two tickets for Spring Awakening, but we didn't realize at that point that you were with Rachel—" he continued.
"No!" Rachel cut in. "It's perfect! I'm on a month long hiatus, so I would love to accompany him." Everybody smiled as she pecked Jesse on the lips.
"Now, Rachel. We didn't know you were coming until a few days ago. But this morning, we made a run to the mall, thank god it was open." Said Jackie, taking over for her brother. "We found this." She pulled out of the bag, 'Complete Works of Barbra, Volume II.'
Rachel's eyes widened. On the cover, plain as day, in silver sharpie, was the familiar scrawl of Barbra Streisand.
"We saw the book and when we went to go and pay for it, and the cashier said that it was left over from a book signing they had last month. Jesse told us how much you liked Barbra, so we thought it was perfect."
Rachel just marveled at the book, unable to say anything. She had Volume I, but she was waiting until the price went down so that she didn't have to pay 50$ for it.
"We all pitched in, so don't think we went overboard." Smiled Annabelle.
"She says thank you." Laughed Jesse. Rachel dragged her finger lightly across the silver signature.
"My turn!" Said Jackie. She also went under the tree to pick out a bag. "With Jesse and Rachel covered, I only bought for the two of you. I decided on a joint gift, seeing as the two of you live together. So, when I was in Europe last month, I happened upon a beautiful shop filled with antique china and pottery and such. So I decided on this."
She pulled out a big white plate with pink roses painted, ever so delicately, on.
"The store owner said that it was most likely from the late 1600's to the mid 1700's. It's from Florence."
"It's beautiful!" exclaimed Annabelle as she jumped up as best she could to retrieve it, kissing her sister in-law on the cheek. "Thank you!"
"Okay," said Annabelle. "Rachel, if you didn't know before, I'm a graphic designer. So, I made this for you, my love."
She pulled out a framed picture of them: Ella, Annabelle, and Jon. Around the sides, some fading into the biggest picture was little pictures of their lives together. Some pictures from Annabelle and Jon's senior prom, some with Annabelle pregnant, some at their wedding, and some of them just smiling together. Jon went over and kissed his wife tenderly on the lips.
"My turn?" asked Jesse. When they nodded, he went as well under the tree and went to retrieve his bag, the final one there. "So, Yesterday, Rachel and I ran around the airport picking up gifts for all of you. For Annabelle, a necklace."
She thanked him as she opened the box to reveal a silver necklace with the letters "A E J" each on a different circular charm.
"For Jon, we bought some Burberry cologne." He smiled and accepted the gift, smelling it, and smiling even more before shoving it under Annabelle's nose. "Rachel thought of this one actually," he said as he passed Jackie the book. "She wanted to give it to you as a thank you for letting her eat here. Exotic Foods of Europe." She smiled as she hugged Rachel and Jesse. "Now, Rachel doesn't know this, but I bought her something as well. I know she's Jewish, but here Rach."
Rachel opened the black box and looked up at Jesse with watery eyes. Inside, was a white gold eighth music note and unlike Jackie's gift from Jon, it was flat, with the illusion that the metal was banged up. In the corner of the eighth note, was a diamond. "Jesse?" was all she could muster.
In response, he kissed her. Neither really cared that everyone was watching, nor did they care that everyone was beaming. Jesse was about to slip his tongue into her mouth, when the sound of a car door slammed.
"She's Heeeeere." Announced Jackie in a creepy voice. Everyone began to laugh and when Lucille entered the room, she scowled at them.
"Dress soon. Dinner will be served in two hours." She said before she disappeared into the master bedroom located behind the den, on the other side of the kitchen.
"Okay guys," said Jackie. "You heard the boss. Time to change."
They all went upstairs and went to their respective bedrooms. Just as Rachel was passing Jesse's room, he grabbed her wrist.
"Stay here," he said. "I'll get your stuff."
She smiled at him and nodded her head. She sat down on his bed and waited for him to return.
"Lets finish what we started before, shall we?" She smirked as she leaned in for a deep kiss. He placed his hands on her waist and shut the door with his foot. She twirled him around and pushed him back on the bed. He pulled off his black tee shirt while she unfastened his pants and pulled them down simultaneously with his boxers. Pulling off her simple cotton black dress, she slipped out of her underwear.
Straddling him, she eased her way down. When she reached the base, he brought his hand up behind her and unclasped her bra. She threw it across the room and placed her hands on his chest, slowly easing her way up and down. Her hair was draped around her head, only permitting her to see his face. Holding her hips, he erected himself into a sitting position, pushing himself deeper inside her. He pulled her up and down on top of him, as they both heaved groans of ecstasy.
"Mine." He breathed. "Mine forever."
While he was still inside her, she hugged him tightly, kissing the nape of his neck.
"Always. Always yours. Only yours."
They sat there for a few minutes, letting their sweat mingle.
"I'm going to take a shower."
"I'll join you." He teased.
"No, I'm saying this because my goal of this shower is to actually get clean." He kissed her neck, sucking on her pulse. "Please…please don't make this harder than it already is."
"Fine, you can shower."
She placed a dress on the bed. It was her black dress, the one that had a vintage silhouette. The glistening black fabric let out a thin sheen when she went to pick it up. It was short sleeved, and the collar was twisted, giving it a rounded edge. It was tight until the middle of her waist, where it was quite large and filled with 5-layered tulle.
She let the scalding water soak her skin as she traced over the numerous bruise like marks that dusted her neck and arms. She hummed the distinctive tune of The Guilty Ones, the song that is sung after the two main characters in Spring Awakening, Wendla and Melchior, make love.
She put it on the dress and smiled at the light rustle of the fabric. She put the same black flats on and brushed through her hair, putting it in a loose bun.
Admiring herself in the mirror, she decided against the red lipstick, and instead opted on her simple shimmering Chapstick.
Slowly, she made her way downstairs, and once again, met up with the St. James children and Annabelle, who where situated at the foot of the stairs. She could hear Jesse's slow intake of breath as he watched her descend. She smiled and strode over to him, kissing him lightly on the lips.
"You look beautiful." He whispered. "Straight out of Hairspray."
"Thank you!" She said as she kissed him once again.
Jesse looked ravishing as well. He was dressed in practically the same thing as dinner the previous night, but this time, with a matching blazer. His short, brown hair was slightly spiked up, giving it a little bit of volume as well.
This time, clad in a white dress, Lucille St. James emerged from the dining room.
"Dinner is served. And a Merry Christmas to all!" she said halfheartedly.
Again, they were situated around the table, in the same spots as the previous evening. Once again, they stood until Richard was there.
Dinner was uneventful. People rarely spoke due to the road the conversations of the previous night went down.
Rachel once again ate the vegan food that Jackie had provided her, while everybody feasted on succulent pig, turkey, and ice cream.
When they entered Jesse's room, he turned to Rachel.
"Do you want to leave tonight?"
"Excuse me?" She said, taken off guard.
"Do you want to go to Lima tonight?" He repeated.
"My Dads aren't expecting for three days."
"I understand. It was stupid."
"No, we can go. I just mean that we should call them."
He smiled and kissed her cheek. She scrambled to fish out her phone from her purse and dialed the number of her house.
It was the third most used number on her phone. Number one was Jesse, number two being Kurt, and the third her Dads.
"Daddy? —Yeah, it's me. —I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind Jesse and I coming over now. —Yeah, ok. —Thanks. —Love you too."
She hung up the phone and looked at the floor. Perfectly packed were hers and Jesse's suitcases. He smiled at her and she laughed.
"Ready to go?"
"I should write them a note, thanking them."
She got out a piece of paper and pen and began to write.
Jon, Jackie and Annabelle,
Thank you so much for your generosity and kindness.
It means so much to me that you were willing to cook for me,
and for even getting me a Christmas gift.
I truly hope to see you again in the near future.
Rachel Barbra Berry
"Nice?" She asked Jesse as she taped it onto the door, in an envelope with their names.
"Perfect."
"My daddy said that we should just come in, they went to bed early. They left the spare key in the flowerpot."
Slowly and quietly, they descended the stairs, hoping not to attract any attention. When they made it to the car, they breathed a sigh of relief and looked up at the giant house.
They drove silently for a few minutes.
"When's the baby shower?" said Jesse as he pulled onto the highway.
"A two and a half weeks. I'm here a lot earlier than I expected, but I don't really want to go home and come back."
"I understand. Why don't we play some music?"
"Okay."
Rachel looked through the numerous CDs that were in the glove compartment. She pulled out "Born to Run" and placed it into the slot.
Thunder Road, her favorite Springsteen song began to play.
Screen door slams
Mary's dress waves
Rachel's eyes closed as she sung along to the music.
You can hide beneath your covers and study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well I aint no hero,
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer girl is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now?
It was them. There was no doubt about it. They've both been hiding from their fears of being together, and from loving each other. It yeah, he wasn't a hero, but it was her fault for thinking that he had to be perfect if he wanted to be with her. She loved him for who he is, and for who he isn't.
"I love you. You know that?"
"Yeah." She sniffled. "Yeah…I do. I love you too. So much."
Rachel fell asleep to the hum of the music while Jesse drove. It was late when they pulled into the Berry's driveway.
The house was dark, save for the porch light.
Not wanting to wake her, Jesse picked Rachel up and carried her to the front door. He balanced her in one hand while fishing for the key inside the flowerpot with poinsettias. He placed the key in the lock and turned it; the door opened with a satisfying click. Stepping inside, he breathed in the familiar and comforting scent of vanilla that the Berry house always presented.
Though in the dark, Jesse could already feel the warmth of the deep reds and browns that contrasted so perfectly with the whites and dark browns of his parent's house. Quietly, he crept up the stairs. He opened the door and smiled at the pinks and purples of Rachel's bedroom. He loved her room. It was so Rachel.
With the help of the dim light of the hallway, he found the outline of her canopy bed. He placed her on top of it and turned around. On the dresser was a picture frame placed face down. He lifted it up and saw that it was a picture of the two of them. He smiled. He knew that he should be angry that the picture was obviously placed face down on purpose, but he was happy. He knew that the last time that Rachel had stayed here was when she and Finn were still going out, immediately after college. It wasn't only the fact that she still had the picture of them, it wasn't only the fact that it was framed, no, it was the picture itself. It was a picture of him embracing her happily, with her leaning up to peck him on lips. He left it standing and went back to the car to retrieve their things.
He went to the driveway, got their bags, and locked the car. He walked the bags upstairs as he did when they arrived at his parents' home. He looked at all the pictures that hung on the wall. There were pictures of Rachel's first steps, Rachel's first trophy, and Rachel's Bat Mitzvah. All were great milestones in her life.
At the top of the stairs, however, was his favorite.
It was a picture of Rachel's opening night. She was still high off of applause as she gleamed with literal sweat and tears. The evident joy in her face made his stomach practically turn over, he loved her so dearly it hurt him. She had written on it in silver sharpie, signing them an autograph.
Dad and Daddy,
I would have never gotten to where I am today if it wasn't for the two of you.
I love both of you guys so much,
Rachel Barbra Berry
He wiped away a stray tear as he entered Rachel's bedroom. He set down the suitcases at the foot of the bed.
Rachel hadn't moved a muscle since he had placed her down. His eyes began to droop as he unzipped her dress, pulling it off of her. Unclasping her bra, he unbuttoned his own shirt and placed it on her, not wanting to dig through either her drawers or search for one in the suitcases.
He set down the articles of clothing on the desk chair. He tiptoed to the bathroom and turned on the light. He peed, and as he washed his hands he saw an empty purple perfume bottle.
It was the one he had given to her for Hanukkah years ago. Had she ever really given up on him? Had she ever really gotten over him?
Slipping out of his pants too, he climbed into bed with her, kissing her neck and whispering, "I love you," over and over again until he too glided into dreamland.
Rachel awoke the next morning to Jesse's arms wrapped tightly around her and his face buried in her hair. Smiling, she turned around in his arms and kissed him lightly on the nose before arising and walking downstairs to the wafting smell of her daddy's vegan pancakes.
Making sure that Jesse's shirt covered her lacy boy shorts, she padded sleepily into the kitchen.
"There she is!" called Hiram from the table. He ran up and hugged his only daughter. Leroy followed suit shortly after he made sure that nothing would burn.
"Hey sweet-pea!" said Leroy as he kissed her on her forehead. "What time did you guys get in?"
"Late? I don't know!" she laughed. "I fell asleep in the car. Jesse must have carried me upstairs."
"Speak of the devil. Where is he?"
"Still asleep I presume." She said as she rubbed her eyes, still adjusting to the bright morning light that was flooding the kitchen.
"So, what'll it be? Banana or chocolate chip?"
"Is that even a question?"
"Yes, but clearly a very bad one." Said Leroy as he put chocolate chip batter into the frying pan.
"How are things going? With the show and everything."
"By everything do you mean what's going on with Jesse?" both men looked at each other.
"We just want to know if you guys are okay—that's all." Hiram answered.
"Things are going really well. We've been together since right before the Tony awards." She didn't want to tell her fathers all of the details of their sexual adventures.
"Why didn't you tell us sweetie?" said Leroy.
"We didn't want people judging us because of what happened in high school. I didn't want people to say that he broke my heart the first time; he'd do it again. I know you guys. You wouldn't have approved. But I'm happy, for the first time in a long time. This is the first relationship that I haven't once regretted…I love him."
Right on cue, Jesse entered into the kitchen. He was wearing basketball shorts and a sweatshirt. He smiled and sat down next to Rachel.
"Hey, Jesse." Said Hiram with a warmer tone than Rachel had expected him to use.
"Hi, sir." Jesse replied as he shook his hand and that of his partner. "Hello, Sir."
While Rachel's fathers didn't like Jesse so much, they despised Finn with a burning passion. They would rather have Jesse than Finn in a heartbeat. Jesse reminded himself that it had nothing to do with what Finn had physically done to her, only he knew about that.
"Thanks for letting us stay here."
"It was our pleasure!" said Hiram as he placed pancakes and a cup of coffee in front of his daughter. "What would you like? Banana? Chocolate chip? Strawberries?"
"Oh, chocolate chip for sure!" He laughed and Rachel leaned into him. He placed his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
Leroy and Hiram smiled at each other and back at the lovers.
Hiram handed the pancakes to Jesse along with a mug of coffee. He signaled for his partner to leave the room with him leaving Jesse and Rachel alone.
"What's that about?" He questioned her.
"Just wait…they'll be back with precautions and rules."
"Okay!" said Leroy as he entered the room once again. "We understand that you are adults, and we understand that as adults you are allowed to made decisions on your own accord and without our permission. Although we also know what transpired between the two of you all those years ago, we can see that you two really love each other. We don't try to deny it and we don't really want to. Just—just try and make it work this time. Please? We don't want another Finn Hudson around here."
"Leroy!" admonished Hiram to his partner.
"Just…use protection."
Rachel blushed crimson and Jesse almost choked on his coffee.
"Sorry guys. I know that was a little uncalled for. But I just want the two of you to make the right decisions regarding this sort of thing. It is a delicate and beautiful thing to do. But when it is abused and when it is used unwisely, it can turn into an entirely different situation."
Subconsciously, Rachel's hand grasped Jesse's leg. Jesse's hand snapped instantly atop her own. Rubbing her cold hand with the pad of his thumb loosened her grip.
"So, what are you planning to do today?"
"I don't know. Maybe see Quinn and Noah. She's pregnant again so…" Rachel trialed off. She had planned on spending the day with Jesse, preferably in bed, but with her fathers here and with the fact that they essentially knew what the two were doing, it didn't seem right.
"Hey Quinn!" called Rachel as she pulled up in front of the suburban home. She kissed her on the cheek before entering the beautifully furnished home. "You're simply glowing."
"Thanks Rachel! It's great to see you." Her bump was barely visible under her purple dress.
A high-pitched screech announced the arrival of Alyssa Puckerman.
"Hey sweetheart! You look so big!" Rachel exclaimed to the two year old. With her blonde curls and her bright blue eyes, she looked like a splitting image of her mother. Her nose was the only indication that she was in fact related to Puck.
"Allie! Say hi to Rachel."
"Hi." She giggled before running off.
"Do you want some tea?"
"That would be lovely!" Said Rachel as she sat down on the dark brown couch. Her phone buzzed.
Jesse: Where are you now? Wanna meet up for coffee in two hours?
Yeah sure, I'm with Quinn, can I tell her? Y'know…about us?
Jesse: If you want to. I mean, we are together now; it doesn't really matter if she knows that we were fucking mindlessly for five months right?
I love you so much. Thanks, Lima Bean in two hours.
She looked up from her phone in time to see Quinn enter the room with two steaming cups of tea. She handed one to Rachel before sitting down on the couch with a sigh.
"Just wait until you're pregnant. You'll understand."
"How is it here? How are you and Puck?"
"We're better every day. After Allie was born, I was going through post partum depression—"
"So was Jesse's sister in law." It slipped out before she was able to stop herself. Like—word vomit.
"What?"
"Uh—I mean—Um, Jesse St. James' sister went through post-partum depression, too."
"You've been in touch with Jesse St. James?"
"Yeah…I have."
"There is something you're not telling me."
"We're…sort of…well…together now." Once she was able to get past the initial shock of her statement, everything was easy.
"For how long?"
"Since June. Well…not really. We've been sleeping together since June. We've only officially been together for, like, two days."
"You've been sleeping with him since June? How the fuck did this happen?"
"We bumped into each other. We had broken up with our respective others and we were just desperate. Then, we'd do it, like, every night. Then we 'broke up' I guess, and I started going out with this guy who turned out to be a total asshole. He was using me to cheat on his girlfriend or wife or something. I called Jesse and he came over. That's when Finn showed up…I don't really want to elaborate on that. So then he invited me here because I was coming anyway for Tina and Mike. Then we just realized there was so much more than just sex in our relationship. We decided that we wanted to actually be together. And here we are now."
"Rachel, I—"
"I know. You don't have to tell it to me again. I've heard it from Kurt and from my fathers. Please, just spare me. I truly have never been as happy as I am now with any other boyfriend. You know that I was miserable with Kevin and with Adam. I was happy with Justin but then he told me that I was emotionally fucked up. I've never been with someone who was so supportive of me, someone who understood, and loved me despite my craziness."
"And Jesse's that person?"
"And Jesse's that person."
"So you really love him?" She asked after a brief and uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah. He's the person I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. He's the person that I want to wake up to every morning, and go to sleep with every night. I'd be lying if I said that I ever stopped loving him."
"To tell you the truth, I'm so happy for you. I meant what I said all those years ago. Finn would have been a mistake. Finn was a mistake. And there's actually something that I didn't mention before."
Rachel looked at her with widened eyes.
"The night that you were supposed to marry Finn, before my…accident…I sort have called Jesse. I wanted him to stop the wedding. I needed him to make you happy. He didn't want to come because he was scared that you'd break his heart by saying that you were truly happy with Finn and you truly wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You never spoke as passionately about Finn as you just did about Jesse. Don't take this offensively, but I really think that you just wanted to play house with Finn rather than actually be with him for the rest of your life. As a high school student, you didn't know what it means to love. Love is such a powerful thing. What you felt for Jesse was something strong that is only multiplied by thousands now that you've been with other people. It sounds really wrong, but it's true. I think you felt that since you slept with Finn, you had to marry him. You've been with other people now, Rachel. You know what it's like to make love and to fuck."
"That's what I said to Finn."
"Pardon?"
"I told him that while he might have thought we made love, we didn't. We just had sex."
"Exactly! And from what I understand, you both fucked Jesse and made love to him, correct?"
Rachel nodded.
"My feelings for him aren't just about sex."
"Of course not! But the act itself signifies something greater. Doing the act of making love is completely giving yourself over to another and proving to them that you are committed to them from top to bottom. He's made you feel loved in a way that no other human being has. He's made you feel as if you are the most beautiful thing in the entire world. You feel as if he is the one shoulder you can cry on. You feel as if he is the only person who will show up to your house at two in the morning and make you feel worthwhile. He's the one who won't love you in spite of your craziness, but he will love you for it."
"Spot on." Was all she could muster, with the tears that were streaming down her face. Had Quinn always been this inspiring? Did it have something to do with the pregnancy, that now she was lecturing her about love and sex?
They spoke for another hour before Rachel had to leave if she wanted to meet Jesse.
She made her way to the familiar coffee joint as she anticipated seeing Jesse. It had only been a couple of hours, but she had butterflies jumping in her stomach.
She saw him sitting at the corner table with a look of slight concern on his face. She made her way over to him and kissed him in the cheek surprising him slightly.
"There's something I have to tell you. It's not bad. Not bad by any means. But I would rather you know."
She nodded, terrified on the inside.
"Remember how when we first saw each other again I told you that I'd recruited some successful people?" She nodded. "Well…you were one of them. I was put on the job for finding a Wendla. I gave your name with out any hesitation but with out you knowing. I'm sorry if I shouldn't have kept it in this long, but I just feel that it's the right thing to do."
"Thank you."
"What?"
"Without you I wouldn't have gotten my Tony. I might not have even been in Spring Awakening! You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me."
"I love you, Rachel."
"I love you too." She hesitated before continuing. "There's something that I need to discuss with you before we keep this relationship going. And that's the egging incident."
"Let me explain then. I was pushed into doing it. Partly by myself and my own rage, partly because the rest of them made me." His voice began to quiver with fast coming tears. "I meant what I said before I crushed the egg on your head. I did love you. I truly loved you with all my heart. But there was something else that I'm sure you of all people will understand. Competition. It was my last year. I tried to make amends with New Directions but they made it abundantly clear that even if I was on their team, I was still the enemy. So I went back to Carmel to get the final trophy. The only way I could have done that was if I proved that I was no longer in love with you. I was about to not do it. I truly was about to throw it on the ground and walk away, walking away from that final national title. Then you told me to break it like I broke your heart. That got me because you actually broke my heart first; you broke my heart with that video. Even though I said I was over it, it still hurt me inside. With you back in my life and completely committed to me, I no longer think of it and it doesn't cross my mind. But then it was still a new wound. I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I really do expect you to help me move past it, because, honestly, it is the one thing in my life that I regret more than anything else. I will never forget it and it will always be the thing that I wish I had never done. I'm so sorry." The last three words were whispered, but Rachel heard them.
Rachel wiped away her own tears before she reached out and wiped his away as well.
"I forgive you. I really do."
"I love you so much. But it's okay if you don't. I'm not going to break up with you if you don't. I'd feel a little better about it if you didn't. I mean, I love that you do, but since I don't forgive myself, I was hoping you wouldn't either."
"Nope. I truly forgive you. I love you so much."
"I love you!"
"In spite of my craziness?"
"For it."
From across the table, she placed a soft peck on his lips before getting up.
"I'll go and get coffee. Want something?"
"The usual." He smiled at her.
She left and Jesse slumped in his seat, relief washed over him.
"Well, well, well! If it isn't Jesse St. James!"
"Santana." He answered.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in California or something?"
"I moved to New York remember?"
"No."
"Who's this?" He politely inquired to the short blonde woman who was previously holding Santana's hand.
"I'm Aubrey, her girlfriend."
"A pleasure."
At that moment Rachel came to the table with the cups of coffee.
"Uh-oh!" she whispered.
"Man-hands with St. Jerk? Again? You have got to be kidding me!"
"Yeah," Rachel replied. "We're together again. And I see you aren't with Brittany anymore."
"No, we broke up. Now she's dating that tennis player guy."
"I knew she was bi!" Rachel mouthed to Jesse. Thankfully, neither Santana nor Aubrey saw.
"Will you be at Mike and Tina's?" Santana asked, changing the awkward subject.
"Of course! I wouldn't miss it."
"So I guess I'll see you there?"
"I guess so."
Santana left without so much as a goodbye, but Aubrey uttered a quiet 'it was nice to meet you,' before she ran after her girlfriend.
"What was that about?" Jesse asked Rachel in a tone as if he didn't really want to know.
"She recently broke up with Brittany, I guess it's just awkward."
"Where are your dads?"
"At work, presume. Why?"
"Why don't we go back to your place? I'm sure we can think of something fun to do."
Instead of answering, Rachel shot up and practically ran out the door to the car. After throwing away their empty cups, he followed her and the two of them headed to the Berry household.
When they reached the driveway, Rachel couldn't wait another minute, and thrust herself onto Jesse, kissing him with full passion.
She giggled into his mouth and smiled as he pulled away and exited the car. He raced Rachel to the top of the stairs where he again pressed his mouth onto hers. He led her into her bedroom where they would once again make love.
Two and a half weeks had passed and it was time for Tina and Mike's baby shower. Rachel woke up that morning not feeling that well, but toughed it out for the sake of her friends. Jesse was undoubtedly worried about her, but didn't voice his concern.
They drove up to the two-story house and Jesse planted a kiss on Rachel's forehead, discreetly checking her temperature. She didn't seem to have a fever, but her head was a little warmer than usual.
"I'm fine." She whispered to him as they knocked on the door.
Tina opened it. Her stomach was large as she was about 8 and 1/2 months into her pregnancy and the baby could come any day now. She enthusiastically gave Rachel a hug, and nodded appropriately to Jesse, not saying more than 'hello, Jesse. Thanks for coming.'
They joined the rest of the party and placing their gift on the table. Jesse went over to Puck, Brittany's new beau Anthony, Sam, Blaine, and Mike while Rachel ventured over to Quinn, Sugar, Brittany, Mercedes, Kurt, and Tina.
"Is there anybody else coming?" Inquired Rachel.
"Finn said he might show up, and Santana and Aubrey are stuck in traffic, but I only invited you guys. We thought that it might be more fun if we made this some kind of reunion."
"Well I'm glad you did." Quinn stated, her hand rubbing her own swelling belly.
"Besides," continued Tina. "My office threw me a surprise shower yesterday. I didn't need to invite them to this."
All the girls were laughing. They began discussing their relationships and love lives.
Sugar was with this tattoo artist who seemed really weird to Rachel. Brittany and Anthony had moved closer to his tennis club, and she was learning to play as well. Mercedes had broken up with her boyfriend, who had been singing at a nightclub and barely made much of a living. Kurt spoke about how he was sure that Blaine was going to pop the question sometime soon.
Soon, it was Rachel's turn. Quinn gave her a knowing look before she averted her eyes to the men. All of the other girls followed suit, before Mercedes looked back at her with wide eyes. Tina and Quinn knew, and Sugar had no clue what was going on.
"Look! It's Mr. Shue's son!" exclaimed Brittany excitedly.
Before Rachel had even let a word escape her mouth, Mercedes said, "No, Rachel. You better not be with that asshole again."
"I love him."
"Listen guys, I've known for a while. I've known that they were perfect for each other since before Rachel's attempt at a wedding with Finn. I've also known about them being back together for about two weeks. You all might think that she's making a big mistake, but she's not. I've heard the way that she talks about him. Truly, it's with so much love and passion that I don't understand why they're not married yet."
Nobody made eye contact with Quinn, but she continued anyway.
"So what if he's been a bad person in the past? What matters is that Rachel has forgiven him and we should too. I mean, it's been long enough."
"Sorry, Rachel." Admitted Mercedes.
"Yeah, we're so sorry." Added Tina. "We didn't know."
"It's okay, guys. I understand why you hate him so much, but I don't. I truly and completely love him. I would like it, though, if you put all that hate in the past and learn that he is one of the most amazing people ever."
They all smiled at her while another wave of nausea washed over her. She closed her eyes at the feeling and swallowed hard.
Jesse caught her eye from across the room and shook his head. He quickly strode over to where she was sitting and whispered softly in her ear, "We can go if you'd like. If you're not feeling well then we can go."
"No, sweetheart. I'm fine. I'll be fine; I think it was just something I ate." She tried to reassure him before she grasped his arm tightly, feeling as if she was about to hurl all over the floor.
"No, you're not." He dragged her into the nearest bathroom just in time for her to throw up into the toilet. "There you are, sweetheart. C'mon." He held her hair away from her face with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. She purged three more times before she leaned into his arms.
"It's okay, my love, it's okay." He whispered into her hair as she cried silently onto his shoulder.
When they left the bathroom, Finn and Santana were there. Rachel felt happy that they were leaving just as Finn came in. That would mean that she wouldn't have to spend any time with him.
"We're sorry to have to leave like this, but Rachel seems to have gotten sick." Said Jesse to the crowd. "We're really sorry." He said more to Tina and Mike.
"I'll call you later Tina. I don't want to hug you and get you sick, but I guess…" Rachel blew Tina a kiss. "Bye guys."
"We left with perfect timing." Said Jesse as they began to drive off. "We didn't have to spend any time with Finn."
"I just wanna go home."
"Feeling sick again? We can stop."
"I'll be fine until we get there. I promise this time."
Jesse was worried about her. Especially now that maybe he might get sick.
They drove up into the Berry's garage.
"Rachel, I don't wanna leave you, I had plans to meet up with my brother and sister for her birthday, but—"
"Go."
"But you're sick!"
"I said, go. This isn't the first time that I've been sick and you weren't there to help me. Besides, my Dads might be home soon. Go. Go and have fun. Tell them I said, hi." She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, avoiding his mouth in case it was a stomach bug.
She got out of the car and watched as he drove away. Once he was out of sight, she picked up her phone and dialed Kurt.
"Kurt…could you maybe leave the party and join me at my place?"
"Sure, Rach. Can I bring anything? A movie or something?"
"A pregnancy test?" The barely audible whisper came out with unstoppable tears.
"Sure, Rachel. I'll be there in a few minutes."
She nodded though he couldn't see and hung up.
She went into the kitchen and made herself some tea. The boiling water soothed her somewhat and she didn't feel very nauseas anymore. She hoped desperately that this was just a stomach bug. If she were pregnant, while her character was too, then she would have to give up her role.
She breathed in and out until she heard a car door slam. She jumped up from her seat and went to let Kurt in. He kissed her on the cheek before handing her a paper bag.
They went to her bedroom and she opened the First Response test. She went into her bathroom leaving the door open. Kurt sat on the corner of her bed.
"Whatever happens, Rachel, know that I love and support you."
"You sound like you should be Jesse."
"Why isn't he here?"
"I'm scared." She answered. "I'm terrified about how he will react if I am. I feel like if I find out that I am before hand, then I'll have formulated a plan about what to say to him."
She peed on the stick and placed it on her counter. They waited for a few minutes, too scared to look.
"Rachel," he said. "You'll have to face it sometime. Just get it over with."
She nodded her head and stiffened before she strode into the bathroom with her head held high.
She looked down at the test and breathed an audible sigh of relief. No. The test was negative.
"I take that as a good sign." Kurt smiled. "Thank God." He gave her a hug.
"I still want to go the they gynecologist. To be absolutely sure."
"Lets go now."
They headed to the doctor's office quickly.
"Hello, Rachel!" Said Dr. Matthew Marshall. "I haven't seen you since high-school. What brings you here today?"
"I took a home pregnancy test. It was negative, but I just want to be 100% positive that I'm not pregnant."
"Lets see. This will be a little cold to the touch." He placed a long stick inside her. On the end of it was a cold gel. Kurt stood closer to the wall, glad that he was male. Rachel winced as the rod was placed inside of her. All three heads snapped to the computer screen next to Rachel's head. She brushed the bangs from her eyes to get a better view.
"Well, Rachel. I'm pleased to say that you are not pregnant."
Rachel once again smiled.
When Rachel got back to her father's house. Jesse still wasn't there. Suddenly, she felt sick again.
"Thanks, Kurt." She said as she left the car and ran up to her bathroom. She threw up once again, but was somewhat pleased that it wasn't due to pregnancy.
She got an aspirin and hopped into bed. She didn't awake until the next day. She woke up to find Jesse sitting up, the test in his had. Rachel must have forgotten to throw it away.
"When were you going to tell me you thought you were pregnant?" His voice was harsh.
"I wasn't unless I was actually pregnant. I didn't want to either get your hopes up or scare you away."
"Well, didn't you think I would like to know?" His voice had changed from harsh to hurt.
"Those times at your parents house, we didn't use protection. I guess we didn't realize it at the time, but it could have altered our entire lives. I don't even know if you want children."
"I haven't thought about it. But I did right then. How am I supposed to be with you if you don't trust me enough to confide in me when you're scared of something that involves me too!"
Their words to each other were none like they ever were before. They were hurt and harsh and filled with fear.
"I'm going to Akron for a few days to spend with my brother and sister-in-law. I'll call you when I've cooled down a little bit."
"I love you!" She called as he went down the stairs. She doubted he heard her, but if he did, he didn't respond.
"I have to Kurt."
"But why?"
"We both need to cool off, and it's the only place that I feel I can. I need to go home."
"Fine. But I'm coming with you."
"Jesse? What're you doing here?"
"Hey, Jon."
"That didn't answer my question."
"Rachel and I got into a fight. I came here to cool off."
"Tell me."
"Well…she was sick yesterday. I assumed that it was just the flu, but she must have thought she was pregnant. She took a test and went to the gynecologist and everything. It turns out she wasn't and she didn't even tell me she thought she was pregnant. I had to see the test on the counter. I probably shouldn't have gone."
At this point, he and his brother were situated around the kitchen table and déjà vu was running through his mind as he though about another time where they were essentially in the same position.
"I think you know what I am going to say." Jon said, breaking the deafening silence.
"Buy a ring and marry her because she loves me."
"So you had one fight. The first of many, I'm sure. That's no reason to break up! You love her and she loves you. I think you're in the wrong here and I'm not ashamed to say it."
"Come with me?" Asked Jesse, with a small smirk.
"Where?"
"De Beers."
Jon smiled and grabbed Jesse's car keys.
"Jesse?" Kurt whispered into the phone.
"What is it?"
"It's Rachel, we're on our way back to the city. You have to come quick. Tell her you love her."
"Shit. Thanks Kurt."
Jesse had just finished paying for the ring when he got Kurt's call.
"Jon, we've got to go to the airport. Now."
They drove like lightning to the Akron airport.
When they got there, Jon said he would check Jesse's bag. Jesse bought the last ticket for the next plane headed to New York. The only one left was first class, and he wasn't complaining. He went through security and made it onto the plane seconds before liftoff. He was sweating and panting, but he sat down next to a nice old lady.
"This is my first time flying first class!" She said excitedly. "My son is paying for me, it's my 80th birthday!"
"Happy Birthday!" He said. "It's not my first time, but I flew coach here with my girlfriend."
"Where is she?"
"On her way back to New York I assume…we got into a fight, and I need to clean things up with her."
"You must love her."
"I do," he said. "Very much. Oh! Look," he said, pulling out the ring from his pocket.
"Oh my! That is a beautiful ring!"
Jesse began telling her their entire story, from beginning to end. Soon, then entire first class section of the plane was listening and 'aw'ing at all the appropriate places.
Suddenly, one of the stewardesses came in.
"The sweetest little gay boy just told me that I was the splitting image of Lauren Bacall!"
Jesse sat still for a second before getting up to look through the curtains. Sitting on the right side of the plane was Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel.
"That's them! Her and her best friend!"
"Propose!" Said the old woman, and everybody agreed.
"I have an idea…and I need your help." He said as he looked at the Lauren Bacall stewardess. "Does anybody have a guitar?"
Rachel slumped in her isle seat. She had reluctantly given Kurt the window seat, and taken the isle.
Rachel wanted Jesse. She didn't want to fight anymore. She swore that the second she landed she would call and apologize.
The PA system went on with a click and a steward began to speak.
"Good afternoon everyone. We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving up to 30,000 feet, and then we've got clear skies all the way to New York, and right now we're bringing you some in-flight entertainment. One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song inspired by one of our coach passengers, and since we let our first-class passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is."
Rachel recognized that speech from the Wedding Singer.
Jesse's voice was clear on the speakers and she felt hot tears sting the back of her eyes.
"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you."
She looked around her; Kurt was smiling next to her while the entire plane stared in her direction.
"I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you."
He continued the song, and Rachel's tears overflowed. Unable to contain herself, she let a very audible sob escape her lips. When he appeared, fresh tears leaked from her eyes and she didn't bother to wipe them away.
"I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control."
He had given the guitar to one of the other passengers and knelt in front of Rachel, taking her shaking hands in his before he finished the song a cappella.
"So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you."
She sniffled and rubbed her thumb across Jesse's hand.
"Rachel, I love you more than life itself. I was stupid for running. I was stupid for running away all those years ago, and I was just as stupid for running away now. I love you so much. I wouldn't ever want to leave you again. I don't think I could handle it. You are the love of my life. My brother once said, that you were a gift. A gift I shouldn't unwrap until I was ready to appreciate. Rachel, it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. I love you, Rachel. Will you marry me?"
He opened the velvet box to reveal a diamond ring. The large round cut diamond shone brilliantly. Rachel couldn't get words out and merely nodded her head before he placed the ring on her finger and kissed her tenderly.
"Hey Kurt, how would you like to sit in first class?"
Kurt smiled, and linked arms with the stewardess before he disappeared along with the rest of the first class passengers.
As they began to descend, Jesse kept his arm around Rachel and his lips attached to hers too.
"I love you, Jesse. Forever."
"I love you, too. Never doubt it for a minute."
~FIN~
Thanks for reading, if its for the first time, or even the second or even the third. Please review, I love when I get those emails.
I love you all.
Giuliette