It has been a week after Robert's Coronation, and I just want to go home. I will be able to after Robert's wedding to Cersei Lannister. Truth be told, I am glad to be headed home. Robert has been drinking and whoring since I gave him the news of Lyanna's death, and I do not know if there is any hope for him.
He'll have to be Jon Arryn's problem now. Hopefully he can keep my friend from drinking himself into an early grave.
I was sharpening my sword as I thought this, when a coal boy ran towards me with urgency in his voice.
"Lord Stark! Lord Stark!"
I knew at once that this was a grim tiding, so I jumped up to address the situation.
"What is wrong!"
"You have to come with me, it's Robert! His life's in danger!"
That was all I needed to hear, so I ran as fast as I could. Though my legs were aching and my sword left behind in the courtyard, neither mattered. All that mattered was that my friend needed me.
All the way to Robert's bedchamber I ran. I ran and I pushed the door all the way open.
When I ran in, Robert was swaying drunkenly and weeping loudly. His cloths were torn and stained with ale and tears, and the crown on his head was tilted almost off.
The room was smashed up, with bits and pieces of furnature lying across the room and the bed's matress stuffed into the fireplace. Shards of wine flagons and crunched remnants of ale mugs lie on the ground as well.
With his right hand, Robert held a sword poised to plunge through his stomach.
And I knew he had every intention of doing it, of ending his very life.
"Robert! No!"
He turned to face me, and tears were streaming down his face.
"Just let me die in peace!"
I walked towards him, hands held forth in a placating manner.
"This isn't the answer-"
"Stay back! Take one more step and I'll end it right now!"
I complied, stepping back a few steps.
"Robert, this is me, Eddard. I'm you're friend. Trust me when I say you don't want to do this."
"YES I DO! I want Lyanna. I want to be with Lyanna ..."
"I miss Lyanna too; she was my sister. But we can't-"
Robert cut me off, screaming. No doubt everyone in The Red Keep could hear him.
"Don't you get it!? I was never as happy as I was when I was with Lyanna, and now I'll never be happy again! I nothing to look forward to except an end to all of this fucking misery."
"Robert, you're king. The Realm needs you."
Robert shook his head and spat on the ground.
"Well, FUCK THE REALM! Fuck the realm and fuck The Gods who gave me a crown when I prayed for Lyanna to survive! I don't even want the dammed thing!"
With that, Robert grabbed his crown with his free hand. Angrily, he swung the cursed thing out the window and into the streets below.
"I don't have anyone. Lyanna's dead, My Parents are dead, Stannis hates me, Jon thinks I'm worthless, and that Lannister Girl he want's me to marry only cares about my money. Even Lyanna didn't love me."
I take one step forward, holding out my hand for Robert.
"Robert, I love you: we've been together since we were boys. Jon sees you as a son, and the same is true for Cressan. Stannis loves you too, even if you both disagree. Lyanna would have fallen in love with you too."
He didn't take my hand.
"I know you're trying to help, but I can't believe you. Just let me go to the Heavens and be reunited with Lyanna, or let me go to the Hells so I can kill Rhaegar a second time. If there even are Heavens or Hells. I doubt I'll go to either, as I don't believe in miracles anymore."
"You are a miracle. You have survived more than anyone should ever be asked to."
Once again he roared, so loud my ears were ringing. But even so I made no complaint: all that matters is making sure Robert Lives.
"I FAILED! The whole damn rebellion was for nothing; Lyanna died because I couldn't save her. I bet my parents are really fucking proud of what a son they have!"
It breaks my heart to hear Robert say this, as it is not his fault.
"There was nothing any of us could have done?"
This was the worst thing I could have said.
"Oh, is that the way of it? Lyanna's dead just because the Gods saw fit to take her away?! Well I'm done being fate's plaything! Goodbye Eddard-"
Knowing this is my last chance, I jumped across the room and threw my full weight against Robert as he raised his sword over his stomach. Before he could get a chance to plunge it down, I wrestled with him until I got the sword out of his hand. Then I flung it across the room.
I had to punch Robert to make him stop struggling. He had a strong jaw, so it hurt for both of us.
"I can't lose you too!" I barked, "I just can't!"
Robert did not verbally respond, he just wailed and attempted to curl up.
Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged Robert and rocked his head back. I felt his warmth and listened to his shaking.
Now I was crying too.
" Shh shh shh, It's ok. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. Put me on you're small counsel, let me help you. We all care about you: we can help you get through this."
" ... I miss her so much ..."
There was so much pain in this whisper, that I just wanted to make all of it go away. I do not know if I can help this man who is like a brother to me, but The Gods know I will try.
"I know, but I promise. You will never have to be alone again."