A/N: unbetaed, unanticipated, and unredeemed smut that only took me a year and a half to finish.
Infrared radiation has a wavelength from about 800 nm to 1 mm, and is emitted particularly by heated objects.
Something was digging into the back of his thigh.
Chakotay rose sluggishly into wakefulness from a deep and blank sleep. He fumbled underneath his leg with movements made clumsy by exhaustion and discovered a small rock he must have dislodged in his sleep. It rolled away when he brushed at it, the noise reverberating strangely in the still air. There were no other sounds: no rustling vegetation, no calls from birds or insects; gone was the constant muted hum of Voyager alive around him. All he could hear was his own breathing and the rushing tempo of his pulse.
Quicksilver shoals of memory flickered through his mind as he became aware of a warm weight along his left side.
Kathryn.
During the night the temperature had fallen even farther. In sleep they'd shifted apart and fit themselves back together into a new geography. Her body was wedged tightly against his and her head rested on the splay of his shoulder. His pinned arm had gone completely numb.
Slowly, Chakotay attempted to slide from under her. Instead she moved with him, stretching herself across his body like a cat following a shaft of sunlight. Their new position freed his arm enough to move it, and he flexed and released his fist several times to encourage circulation. Wincing against the discomfort of returning feeling, he searched for the least provocative place to rest his hand, finally settling it high on her back in the space between her shoulder blades.
One of her thighs was stretched over his, her knee hitched close to his groin: a delicious and dangerous pressure his body responded to eagerly.
Lying with her in what was essentially an embrace, he was keenly aware of the intimacy of the moment. And how uncomfortable she would be were she to wake. But as much as he knew he should, Chakotay couldn't make himself pull away again. Holding her like this was the rarest of pleasures, one he was too weak to deny himself.
It was far from an ideal situation. The tip of his nose was cold, as was the right side of his body. His partially erect penis was trapped awkwardly inside his pants and his left arm was still tingling unpleasantly. He was thirsty, and hungry, and sore. Yet he wouldn't have changed or traded his circumstances for anything as ordinary as comfort.
Kathryn's mouth was level with his chin and her warm exhalations flowed gently and regularly against his skin. Pleasant gooseflesh rose along the back of his neck in their wake. Her left arm spanned his chest in a possessive way, with her hand resting along the crest of his ribs. He lifted his right hand and placed it just below hers so that his thumb made the barest contact with her smallest finger. Ignoring his arousal, he concentrated on her breathing, her warmth, and that tiny patch of skin.
With no way to gauge the passage of time, Chakotay allowed himself to simply drift in the calm waters of this unforeseen oasis. A delicate tendril of happiness unfurled within him, the days of uncertainty and fear receding as it grew.
He felt it the instant she woke. Kathryn inhaled deeply then exhaled on a sigh. Her cheek tilted up as she stretched and then stiffened against him. For several heartbeats she was still, holding her breath, then releasing it slowly. He maintained his own steady breathing, feigning sleep in the hope that she would continue to allow them both this respite. It seemed a long time before she relaxed again, resting her weight on him fully and pressing her forehead against his neck.
The warm, human scent of her filled his lungs, infusing his blood and inhabiting him. When he felt something brush against his thumb, he almost thought he'd imagined it. The lightest touch, it could have been a muscle twitch or one of the small adjustments a resting body makes. But a moment later he felt a longer stroke, and then again: the definite caress of her little finger curling back and forth along the edge of his thumb.
Gradually she grew bolder. She traced the line of each tendon from his wrist to the knuckle and then down to the tip of each finger. She traversed the furrows between his knuckles and the outline of his fingers. She was as thorough as a stellar cartographer mapping him for a scientific survey. The arousal he'd managed to tamp down flared in response to her exploratory, unhurried touch. In the darkness, in the silence, it was magnified; it was everything. He felt as if a direct conduit linked the nerves of his hands and his cock, amplifying pleasure in a looping current between them. His body thrummed with tension and he was sure Kathryn must have been able to feel the rapid beat of his heart under her cheek.
She moved her head slightly, pressing her face higher against his neck. Her breath fluttered along his throat and he felt the gentle sweep of her lashes as she blinked once. Her fingers slid into the spaces between his, curling under as if to hold them. The sweetness of the gesture made his throat ache. He longed to take her hand, to wrap them up together and share this connection openly. But he knew her well enough to know that it would never be permitted. As long as they were in command together, this was all she would allow herself, all she'd allow him.
When she moved again, shifting her head with a sigh, her thigh slid against his erection just as her lips brushed his skin. Chakotay couldn't control a sharp intake of breath. They froze, both of them, in a comical tableaux of impasse. He had the sense that if he spoke, even to reassure her, everything would end. So he kept to silence and forced his body to remain relaxed beneath her tense one. He eased his fingers along hers until they met the tips, then pushed lightly upward. After a moment, she raised her hand against his. Their palms met and their fingers folded together, settling into the clasp they'd shared that night on New Earth.
He waited.
At last he felt a tantalising hint of pressure against his neck. And then another. Then Kathryn opened her mouth and touched her tongue delicately to his skin. A click echoed in the back of his throat as heat lanced through him. She lifted herself higher and took the edge of his earlobe between her lips, sucking lightly. His entire body seemed to burst into flame. Tiny, nipping kisses raced under his jaw; the gentle scrape of teeth trailed along his throat. His hand followed the line of her arm up and across her shoulder, finally reaching the softness of her face. Wandering fingers brushed her chin then slid up to find the velvet of her bottom lip. She pulled the tip of his finger into the wet haven of her mouth and it was all he could do to keep himself from coming right then.
As she rose to straddle him, her long hair slipped over her shoulder and slid down to lie along his throat, silky as a caress. Even as he longed to see her, to be able to look into her eyes, he knew that she would never do this in the light. If it happened in darkness, if they didn't take their clothes off, they could pretend it wasn't real. It could be a dream, a fantasy, a tiny pocket of time outside of time.
Chakotay was light-headed as he breathed her in; he felt weightless and tethered only by her small body. The starless sky above, the dirt beneath his back: all of it had disappeared. Kathryn surrounded him, his only atmosphere. She hovered at the corner of his lips, her breath a hot, damp question against his cheek. Through the heavy cloth of their uniforms he could feel the incredible heat between her legs. They were burning up, both of them molten. Sweat pooled at the base of his spine from the blaze.
He turned his head, seeking, and she covered his mouth with her own. There was nothing gentle about them now. This kiss was ravenous, a devouring furnace. Her slick tongue entered him and wreaked a slow, thorough devastation. She demanded and took from him so sweetly he would've begged her to let him give more. His cock hardened to the point of agony, leaking in its eagerness to be claimed. He pushed his hips against her helplessly and she ground down on him in frantic response.
They writhed and clutched at each other in a fever until Kathryn tore her mouth from his and reared away. In his mind's eye he could see her: head thrown back, torso curved and taut as a drawn bow. Her motions grew fierce, straining, and in a moment of clarity he fumbled his hand to the juncture of her thighs.
Above him, in the darkness, she ignited.
A single gasping syllable escaped her before she sank down on his chest and pressed her face into his shoulder. Chakotay wrapped his trembling arms around her, filled with something like awe.
As her breathing calmed, Kathryn gave him no chance to do the same. She kept her hips pulsing a languid rhythm while she pressed soft, meandering kisses to the underside of his jaw. Her tongue teased his mouth as she slid her lush body over him in a slow, leisurely drag. He bucked against her desperately, gasping into her kiss when he felt her nimbly open his trousers. His head swam, nothing but urgency and lust. Her hand slipped down through layers of cloth and her cool fingers closed around his burning cock like the most tender of mercies. He wanted to sob in gratitude.
One stroke was all it took for the immense, intolerable pleasure to engulf him. Kathryn held him through it, her cheek pressed close to his, as he came in his pants like a teenager, shaking in the roaring silence.
He felt raw and split wide open. Overwhelmed. He wanted to speak as his tremors quieted, wanted to whisper his love into her ear like a spell of safekeeping. But the words remained trapped in his throat. He knew their weight would only burden her now, when she already carried too much. So he would keep them, along with the memory of tonight, to sustain him for the unknown time to come.
...
He stopped at the edge of the ring of rocks serving as the centre of their camp. A few meters from him, she stood speaking quietly with Tuvok. She was not yet aware of his presence.
Elation and desire spun inside him like binary stars as he watched her. One last moment before he folded them gently away.
He walked into the radius of the fire's light. Their eyes met, and held.
"Captain," he greeted her.
"Commander," she replied.
And they went on.
[END]
note: the epigraph is from the dictionary definition because physics is the sexiest science. that is how the molecules do.