A/N: I do not own Hetalia or its characters. I'm sorry if you are bothered by the lack of plot line but I hope you find this story amusing in a way. Enjoy.
The sun on the hot summer day was bright, as its heat radiated off the asphalt. The temperatures were record high, and Romano thought called the sun a jacka** silently.
He walked into the plaza's entrance, scanning the vast barrage of stores and markets. His clothing was stained with sweat and tomato juice. He shrugged off his jacket and felt the scorching rays of sun on his arms. He brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated with just about everything. Everything but…
Tomatoes.
He saw it, the most beautiful cart in the market. It was filled with the ruby red fruit his mouth could almost taste. Like the cliché scene in a movie where two lovers run toward each other on the beach, Romano ran towards the tomato cart. When he was there, she slammed $5 down on the counter and filled a bag with the delicious fruit. Then something else caught his eye, he had to squint into the light to make it out. And then it hit him, literally.
"Romano!" Antonio exclaimed with delight and clapped the Italian on the back. "Good to see you!"
Romano felt as if several of his vertebrae broke. He almost dropped his tomatoes. "You jerk! We had breakfast at Denney's this morning! Not 8 hours ago!"
Antonio smiled and flipped a giant arrow prop in the air. One of those card board signs that people do tricks with to attract gullible customers to whatever crap they are selling, Romano thought to himself.
"So what's in the bag? Tomatoes?" Toni asked as he did several tricks with the sign.
"No, they're children you idiot!" Romano snapped, absentmindedly switching the bag to his other arm, away from Toni. Romano noticed the sun had found itself in the western sky, it would be about an hour until it set. He was relieved. Still, he had to try blocking his eyes from the light that blared right past Antonio.
"Say man," his "friend" said. "You look like the sun is bothering you. I know just what you need." With that, he grabbed Romano's elbow and pulled him to the other side of the plaza.
They approached and entered air-conditioned building, as Romano struggled to escape Toni's grasp. "Let me go dammit!"
When he was released, he looked around the room. Sunglasses, everywhere; on shelves, cases, and carts. There were hundreds of different shades, colors, and brands. Behind the main counter was Gilbert and Francis. Romano and Toni walked up to them.
"Hey Gil, can you set this kid up with some shades that won't kill his wallet? Or should I say mine?" Toni asked.
"What are you guys doing here?" Romano asked Francis and Gilbert.
"Well, I'm watching the store for today, it's my cousin's God-fathers friend's dog's owner's uncle's. Sunshine and Churro-lover here are just helping me out."
Suddenly there was a crash of glass and wood. In the corner were two girls, one was in a glass case, surrounded by sunglasses as shattered glass from the top of the case. The other girl helped her out, and surprisingly, neither of them had a scrape. Romano looked over to see Gil, Francis, and Toni winking and waving at the girls. One of them, who had fallen into the glass case, giggled like a fan girl and waved back. The other waved awkwardly and pushed her friend out of the store.
Francis came behind Romano and led him to the other side of the room, where at least 100 sunglasses were on display. "So what are you looking for boy? Automatic adjusting shades? Dark or light? Do you want them foldable? A good choice is becoming a territory of France. Would you like a discount we have if you buy a glasses case as well?"
Gilbert pushed through Francis and pulled a pair of glasses off the shelf. He showed them to Romano. "These are cool; slick design, nice shade and color, golden lining."
Toni stepped in. "Whoa, what's your price?"
Gilbert shrugged. "No higher than $250."
"Not happening." Toni replied.
Like a montage, the trio started pulling random sets of shades and styles before Romano. It was a vortex of prices and discounts, packages and choices. He felt the anger boil up in his body, starting from his feet, and reaching the top of his head like a volcano. He turn as red as a….strawberry.
(haha. You thought I would say tomato.)
"Shut your faces!" Romano yelled at the top of his lungs, the trio looked as if the windows of the store would break and glass would rain down on them. "I'm done here, jerks! I'm going home!"
With that, he turned around and headed towards the doors. He couldn't wait to sink his teeth into a juicy tomato. Suddenly, Gilbert let out an ear piercing yell. "Theif!"
"What the hell!?" Romano looked at the German like he was prancing around in a sexy cat outfit, with tap shoes.
Francis started walking towards him, sheer terror filled Romano. The Frenchmen pointed at the bag of tomatoes at Romano's side. "You know what happens to little boys who steel?"
Romano looked into the slight opening of his produce bag, the deep red fruit beckoned him. "No, I paid for these, idiots!"
"Watch out Francis." They looked to the counter to see Gilbert pulling a pistol out from behind the counter. "No one steal's from this store!" He cocked it and aimed it right at Romano.
For a long, lasting moment, he could only stand there, looking at the barrel of the gun, unaware of processing the situation. He heard an echoing blast, and found himself on the floor. Toni was on top of him. He had pushed Romano out of the trail of the bullet at the last second. Glass shattered, and they could hear the streaks of the people outside the store. They all ran as fast as they could from the shots, seconds later they could hear sirens.
Toni pulled Romano off the ground, grabbing his arm and racing him out of the store. They heard several shots fired, followed by the sounds of splintering wood and breaking glass. They sprinted across the parking lot, every second feeling like an hour. Romano heard the yells and cursing of Francis and Gilbert, and a couple more bullets being fired as he got into Antonio's car. Sitting in shot-gun, with Toni on his right, (remember, drivers are on the right on Europe.) As Antonio started the car and pulled it out of the space, Romano looked at his bag of tomatoes, to see that there was a small whole in the side. Sticking out of it, was half a pair of sunglasses.
Toni looked over to see the glasses in Romano's hand, as he raced out of the parking lot. They could hear the tires screaming, as they were leaving marks behind them. "ROMANO! You stole those!"
"No the hell I did not! They were just in my damn bag!"
"How did they get there?! Toni yelled, he was now on main street, grasping the wheel as tight as he could.
"I don't freaking know they are nice but they aren't new, there is even a scratch on one lens! There's not a tag either!" Romano replied. "And there is also what looks like a paw print a cat may have left!"
Then behind them, a slick black convertible turned a corner and came behind them, going at least 50 mph. The car was a Volkswagen, German engineering. The top as pulled back and both could clearly see Francis driving, a sneer on his face, and Gilbert standing on the side of his door and the consul, loading his pistol.
A few minutes before the first shot.
The sun had been hot that day, much warmer than Matthew's regular climate. He had even had to take off his sweatshirt. Although he was relieved the sun was going down, he felt the pavement hot beneath his sneakers. He walked over to his van, white, red, and a maple leaf painted on the side. He opened the door to see Kuma looking at magazines on the floor.
"I brought something for you," Mattie said to his friend.
The bear looked up from his reading. "What is it?" Matthew handed the polar bear a ripe tomato. "Where did you get this? You left your wallet in the car." He bit into the fruit.
I was hanging out with Francis, Gilbert, Antonio, and Romano. Romano had this bag of tomatoes. I figured you were hungry, so I traded my sunglasses for one of them."
"Hmm." The bear replied blankly.
Matthew got into the driver's seat, (this time on the left, he is from Canada.) and drove out of the lot. Suddenly, Kuma heard a large blast then a ruckus. "Did you hear that?"
"I didn't hear anything," The Canadian answered, turning up the car radio.
"Who are you?" The bear asked.
"I'm Canada." Mattie said. And with that, they were going home.
To be continued.
A/N: How was that? I had a great time writing it, and I hope it made you laugh a bit. It is all Canada's fault. This was a prompt given to me by a friend. She happens to be the girl who fell into the glass case in the beginning and giggled like a ninny when she saw the bad touch trio and Romano. I am not going to name names but the first word of her screen name is Doctor and the second is Croctagon. No spaces.
Well the next part will include what every movie seems to have these days, a wild car chase. I am still trying to figure out how to do that. Any suggestions? Tell me what you think. Thanks!